Follow TV Tropes

Following

Context Fanfic / ImmaWiserd

Go To

1How to describe ''Imma Wiserd''? Well, as one dramatic reader said, it's basically the gangsta version of ''Fanfic/MyImmortal''—or at least that's what was said.
2
3[[OverlyLongName Soulja Spirit Buu Jackson]], otherwise known as Turtle, starts the story on the porch of his mother's house without any food to eat. At this point, he suddenly finds out that he can make food appear by saying the name of the desired food. Upon discovering this, his mom abandons him, threatening to shoot him if comes back. After this, he leaves for Hogwarts in the second chapter, after which the story is essentially a chaotic sequence of events that (mostly) center around making Turtle into a MartyStu of almost unbelievable proportions, including beating three Quidditch teams, the Death Eaters & the Klu Klux Klan simultaneously, meeting God & being sent back to Earth after dying & summoning a dragon Patronus.
4
5In the midst of this, something of a plot emerges when it turns out that there is a "[[RougeAnglesofSatin profasi]]" that he must kill "da dark lord [[Franchise/StarWars Vader]]mort", who is initially supposed to want to [[OmnicidalManiac destroy the world]], which is later changed when his back story is revealed -- he was born as the twin brother of Shieqwan, who is black, & has hated [[NWordPrivileges black people]] ever since. It's revealed that he & Snape are the same person around the same time. Eventually, he goes back in time to uninvent fried chicken, which, due to fried chicken being the source of Soulja's magic powers, results in Soulja becoming a Muggle, & therefore ineligible to be at Hogwarts. To resolve this, Turtle goes to the distant past in order to reinvent fried chicken, which is revealed to be inhabited by characters from The Bible, but finds out that Vadermort followed him. At this point, what little plot it had to begin with disintegrates rapidly, firstly with Jesus giving Turtle his powers back, but still intending to reinvent fried chicken, & then forgetting that entirely after a single attempt, in favour of what becomes more of a team grudge between Turtle & his new friends (including Jesus, Judas, Mary Margerine & a [[CampGay homosexual reinterpretation of]] [[SpotlightStealingSquad The Old Testament Joseph]]) & Snape & his original Death Eaters (including Herod & [[FemmeFatale Jezebel]]). Needless to say, the story is almost universally considered to be a TrollFic by those who have read it.
6
7Unfortunately, being like ''My Immortal'', Fanfiction.Net took it down. It's been re-uploaded yet again and even ''then'' it was taken down. At the moment, the whole story up to Chapter 69 can be found at [[http://immawiserd.weebly.com this website]]. Several dramatic readings can also be found on Website/{{YouTube}}.
8
9A person by the name of [="Basttriter420"=] has written a sequel they refer to as a "parody sequel". So far it only has two chapters and is written the same way as the original. This time it seems to focus on Turtle returning to the past, and, after killing off all the Death Eaters, he will now have trouble with PresidentEvil Dollars Umbitch. It can be found [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12161665/1/Imma-wiserd-2-All-Hell-Breaks-Loose here]].
10----
11!!! Tropes
12
13* AnachronismStew: The Hogwarts 10,000 years in the past definitely counts, having various Bible figures from both the Old and New Testaments, crucifixion, chemistry labs, Ancient Egypt, musical theater, pirates, classical music & a picture of UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln (probably because the author confused him with the Biblical Abraham) all present at the same time, far before when they actually existed (except for possibly the pirates, & even they play on much more recent stereotypes).
14* AnatomicallyImpossibleSex: There is never any mention of lubricants being used at all during the story, even where they clearly should be.
15* ArtisticLicenseBiology: Jezebel laughs so hard that she ''has a baby''. This occurs several times in a couple of days.
16** Also the fact that Snape/Vadermort came out as Jewish while his brother came out black.
17* ArtisticLicenseChemistry: Turtle, at Jesus's suggestion, tries to reinvent [[TrademarkFavoriteFood fried chicken]] using a chemistry lab instead of an actual kitchen, & during the entire (brief) process is never as much as hinted as even being near any chickens at all.
18* ArtisticLicenseReligion: Hoo boy... the author claims to have talked to a preacher so he could learn enough about Biblical times to write about it. He must not have been paying very much attention.
19* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler says many phrases in Mock-German, none of which are even remotely accurate to the translations given by the author.
20** "gutantof gutantof chocolate choclate gutantof" sed hitler wich wuz german 4 "i agree we shud kill him"
21*** "Gutantof" is a misspelling of "Gutentag", which means "Good day" or "Hello". The real translation should be "Ich stimme zu, wir sollten ihn töten."
22** "KINDERGAREN" he sed wich wuz german 4 "deres sumden rong wit mi baby"
23*** "Kindergarten" means "Children Garden" and [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin is one of the first years of schooling]]. Again, the proper German for the above English phrase should be "Es ist etwas schlecte mit meinem baby."
24* AuthorFilibuster: If it wasn't a TrollFic, it would probably qualify.
25* BedTrick: Joseph is tricked into having sex with Jezebel, which is traumatic for him considering how he is portrayed as CampGay and wants nothing to do with women sexually.
26* BeigeProse: The story tends towards the undescriptive at best.
27* BibleTimes: The main character goes to this time period to re-invent fried chicken.
28* BigNo:
29-->"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!11111111" sed herman but she was 2 busy sewing 2 do anyting.
30* BigBad: Vadermort/Snape.
31** The Sequel seems to have Dollars Umbitch. With the devil as a GreaterScopeVillain still.
32* BigBadDuumvirate: Vadermort also works with Adolf Hitler, Dracula, Wolfman, and the Devil.
33* BlackComedy: Solomon's math lesson involves cutting up babies with chainsaws. Several of the story's villains eat babies.
34* BloodyMurder: One of the dragons Turtle fights shoots fire from the neck when decapitated and has acid blood.
35* CampGay: The portrayal of Theatre/{{Joseph|AndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat}}.
36** It eventually turns out that, during the time when Biblical figures were present at Hogwarts at least, the entire Hufflepuff house was composed of [[AllGaysArePromiscuous highly]] [[AllGaysLoveTheatre obvious]] gay stereotypes.
37* CharacterCatchphrase: Bradberry and Steven, Joseph's gay friends, say "fabulos" far too often.
38* CrackFic: Whoever wrote this [[ExcusePlot story]] must surely have a highly active imagination.
39* CompositeCharacter: Snape and Voldemort (or rather, Vadermort) are the same person now.
40* DarkLordOnLifeSupport: Here, the Devil is just an old man in a wheelchair.
41* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment:
42-->"how can dey still see us!1" sed hary pottr. it wuz bcuz da ski wuz wit and we wuz da only blak guys on da feild. "it is bcuz da ski is wit and we is da only blak guys on da feeld" i sed.
43* DemotedToDragon: In the sequel, Vadermort has been brought back for serving Dollars Umbitch.
44* DecompositeCharacter: Dumbledore apparently means Headmaster in this odd, twisted universe. So we see two dumbledores in the past.
45* DramaticReading: For a while, they were [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6992033/14/imma-wiserd-Special-Commentary-by-Kaylyne-Morgan the]] [[https://www.youtube.com/user/Andjealous/videos?query=wiserd only]] [[https://www.youtube.com/user/Temascos/videos?query=wiserd way]] to find anything past chapter 14, at least until an [[http://immawiserd.weebly.com this enterprising fellow]] posted a backup of most of the story.
46* DragonInChief: The Devil is supposedly the one who founded the Death Eaters and is in charge, but since he's depicted as an old man in a wheelchair, Vadermort is basically the BigBad and appears more.
47* DisneyDeath: Turtle. ''Twice''.
48* EatsBabies: As noted above, the villains of the story do this.
49* ExcusePlot: Any plot there is is mostly just dressing for the story's various MartyStu's.
50* FlatCharacter: Par for course for a TrollFic.
51* GratuitousGerman: Hitler, natch. However, it's very obvious that the person writing this [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign never took a German language class in their life.]]
52* GreedyJew: How Snape is portrayed. He even rides a giant dollar bill like a flying carpet.
53* IKEAErotica: Unsurprisingly, the sex scenes here are ridiculously simplistic.
54* InNameOnly: The fic's connection to canon was tenuous at best from the start, but once Turtle goes back in time to the Biblical era, the story pretty much ceases to resemble a Harry Potter fic at all, outside of a couple of retained characters.
55* JesusWasWayCool: Jesus is one of Turtle’s buddies when he returns to Bible times.
56* JiveTurkey: Pretty much how the whole story is written, with very little resembling proper grammar appearing.
57* TheKlan: They initially make up the {{Mooks}} for the Death Eaters. Except they're revealed to be ghosts during the Quidditch match, after which they show up less frequently.
58* LudicrousGibs: Happens to the monsters that Turtle and [[Literature/TheBible David]] fight.
59* MagicalNegro: The story's alternative title is the... [[NWordPrivileges less polite]] form of this phrase.
60* ModernMinstrelsy: Oh, where to begin?
61** Black people eat fried chicken & watermelon, use black slang frequently, listen to rap music a lot, love guns & (going by the supposed author) are bad at spelling.
62** Jews are money-obsessed, are evil and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking use eloquent language excessively]].
63** Females [[StayInTheKitchen love domestic work]], are obsessed with looks & promiscuous.
64** Old people are easily confused.
65** Gays are promiscuous, theater-loving, colourful and generally very camp.
66* NWordPrivileges: That word is used a ridiculous number of times throughout the story, yet a white cop who uses it gets a dragon Patronus set on him.
67* PersonalRaincloud: Joseph gains one after falling victim to the BedTrick.
68* PlotHole: The fact Adolf Hitler is working with Vadermort/Snape, despite the fact that in this story Vadermort is ''Jewish''.
69* RaceLift: Harry is black in this story, but mentions that [[Creator/DanielRadcliffe a white guy]] was cast to play him in the movies.
70* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Oh so very much. He claimed that he was going to improve his spelling to "give u da best reedin experiants", but any degree of noticeable improvement was marginal. Notable examples include:
71** he went ova to da closet an opned in. an out came... A KLUKKLUCKSKLANMAN!1111
72** den snap cam up and sed "cum 2 mi oriface"
73** "dis is my new friend turtle" sed jesus "turtle, let me introduce you to my 2 best friends. mary margerin and judas."
74* SerialEscalation: The story starts off crazy from Chapter 1 and it just gets crazier chapter after chapter.
75* SlutShaming: Tends to happen to female antagonists, as if that was the best insult the author had for female villains.
76* StayInTheKitchen: "Herman" (Hermione) wants to go back in time with the male characters, but is told that she shouldn't because they didn't have sewing machines, pretty dresses, or vacuum cleaners back then.
77* TitleDrop: Turtle does this after relating his depressing life before Hogwarts to Creator/LeonardoDaVinci:
78--> "i wuz so sad. but den one day dat all changed. all of a sudden i found out someden dat changed my life 4eva... imma wiserd."
79** He also does this in the [[FakeOutFadeOut supposed final chapter]] during an epic battle with "Vadermort":
80-->"no" i sed "a yeer ago i mite have been a failure. i wud just sit on da porch an dreem. but now... im a frend... im a hero... IMMA WISERD!111"
81* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Turtle has his love of fried chicken, to the extent that he tries to re-invent it in biblical past because life wouldn't be the same without it. Also, fruit loops for Josef.
82* TheStarscream: Vadermort makes it clear in the sequel he plans on betraying Dollars Umbitch and the Devil.
83* UnexplainedRecovery: Turtle supposedly dies after being knocked off his broom by [[Franchise/StarWars Vader]][[BigBad mort]] in an early chapter, but wakes up in the hospital wing the next day and quickly recovers as if nothing has happened.
84* WhereDaWhiteWomenAt: Turtle's relationship with "Herman".

Top