Line #73 FanFic/TheEquestrianCivilServiceSeries


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/teatime_interruption_by_gyrik22-d6azt2j_6200.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:[[http://gyrik22.deviantart.com/art/Teatime-Interruption-381263851 To serve the sisters two...]]]]
3
4	[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic In the magical land of Equestria]], young fillies (and sometimes colts) go on grand, wonderful adventures. The royal Princesses indulge in the occasional prank, their rule is just and kind, and everything is a big, happy ball of sunshine.
5
6	This is not about those blessed ponies. This is about the ponies who take care of the messes they make. Meet the Equestrian Civil Service.
7
8	The princesses ''rule'' Equestria. The various nobles claim to ''lead'' Equestria. The politicians and Parliament ''govern'' Equestria. And the Equestrian Civil Service ''runs'' it.
9
10	Their one mission: To take care of the messes that the Princesses cannot spare the time for. And Dotted Line, Cabinet Secretary of the Equestrian Civil Service, takes his duties very, very seriously.
11
12	Cue general hilarity as the [[BunnyEarsLawyer wacky bunch]] of [[BadassBureaucrat heroic]] [[BeleagueredBureaucrat bureaucrats]] try to deal with nosy reporters, paranoid nobles, and worst of all...a surprise visit from the Princess' prized pupil, Twilight Sparkle herself.
13
14	The Equestrian Civil Service Series is an ongoing project by ''Ghost of Heraclitus.'' Takes place during a period before Twilight's ascension, but after the Changeling Invasion.
15
16	!! The stories, in order of publication:
17	* ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/54117/whom-the-princesses-would-destroy Whom the Princesses Would Destroy...]]'' To Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?
18	* ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/72777/a-canterlot-carol A Canterlot Carol]]'' is a much more somber look into the life of Dotted Line, as he tries to keep the bureaucracy machine running during the holiday, pry his coworkers out of the office, and stick to his plans for Hearthwarming.
19	* ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/101102/a-princess-by-any-other-name A Princess By Any Other Name]]'' is a much more humorous story set during Dotted's younger years. Here, a younger (and decidedly less mature) Princess Cadence tries to change her name. To [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Cadance-with-an-A]]. Dotted Line valiantly tries to remain calm in the face of bratty teenage goddesses, a crisis of religion, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick the local Eldritch Abomination]] who keeps begging someone to ''"fRrReEeEeEeE uSsSsss..."'' (A crossover with the Fanfic/CadanceOfCloudsdale series by Skywriter.)
20	* ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/156048/obiter-dicta Obiter Dicta]]'' is a collection of short stories, vignettes, and deleted scenes, mostly about the Civil Service and the brave (also insane) ponies who work there. Introduces the family of Leafy Salad, a discussion on royal board games, and an excerpt from the history of Griffin/Pony relations.
21
22
23	----
24	!!These stories provide examples of:
25
26	[[foldercontrol]]
27
28	[[folder: Series-Wide]]
29	* BeleagueredBureaucrat: Much of the Civil Service, but ''especially'' Dotted Line.
30	* BotheringByTheBook: Their first resort when dealing with political stupidity. Various foolish, wasteful, or ignorant proposals and policies may be lost or delayed indefinitely.
31	* CrazyPrepared: They pride themselves on making everything function seamlessly. When Celestia asked what would be required to restore Luna's title Dotted was proud to say the documents only required her signature. This was ''not'' as easy as it sounds.
32	* CurbStompBattle: Politically speaking. Messing with Dotted Line is a very poor decision.
33	* DeathGlare: Dotted Line has one so potent that it can make hoity nobles shut up. Only close friends are immune.
34	* FootnoteFever: A signature of [=GhostOfHeraclitus=]' writing.
35	* HyperCompetentSidekick: While the Princesses undoubtedly ''rule'' Equestria, the nobles claim to ''lead'' it, and the politicians and Parliment at least theoretically ''govern'' it, it is the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service who actually ''run'' everything. They are the ones who make sure the bills get paid, write down the lists and memos, and file things so that they may be found again (or ''not'' found again, as the case warrants).
36	* MadScientist: Dotted really likes explosions.
37	* MarriedToTheJob: Dotted Line and Spinning Top, as well as others to varying degrees. But Leafy, at least, is HappilyMarried.
38	* PalsWithJesus: Dotted Line is the only pony who can enter Celestia's private study whose name does not include the title princess, or start with a "T" and end with "wilight Sparkle". Particularly notable since ([[AGodIAmNot unlike the majority of Equestria]]) he actually ''does'' worship Celestia as a deity.
39	* RagtagBunchOfMisfits: The entirety of the Equestria Civil Service are a group of ponies who by all logic shouldn't be left in a room together, much less to their own devices. And yet they happen to be astoundingly good at their job.
40	* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: Their raison d'etre, to keep the madness of the nobility in check.
41	* ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight: This is their organizational GodzillaThreshold, but they will cross it if they have to. In [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Ogres and Oubliettes]] terms, they are Lawful Good with an emphasis on the Good.
42	* UndyingLoyalty: They all have this towards Equestria and each other. Particular politicians, not so much.
43	* {{Workaholic}}: Dotted Line. [[AFatherToHisMen He works very, very hard]] to make [[HypocriticalHumor everyone else]] takes time off and gets sleep.
44	[[/folder]]
45
46	[[folder: Whom the Princesses Would Destroy...]]
47	* AbnormalAmmo: Custard from a royal food fight covers the library tower, because apparently Luna has figured out how to weaponize it even better than usual. And the inside of the tower is full of jam because:
48	--> '''Swift Wing''': [[TheComicallySerious "Well, sir, Her Highness princess Celestia beheld the custard onslaught, sir, and, yea verily, did she summon the ancient powers of alicornkind..."]]
49	* BerserkButton: Don't call Dotted "my lord".
50	* BrickJoke: Early on Dotted wonders how [[EldritchAbomination The Disemvoweled One]] can possibly be both Tentacular and Batrachian ([[DontExplainTheJoke which means "froglike"]]). Later on, when he sees it, [[spoiler: [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext the tentacles are shaped like frogs.]]]]
51	* BunnyEarsLawyer: The entire civil service, but Dotted Line in particular. He's a [[OopNorth northener]] chemist who occasionally thinks his appointment as Cabinet Secretary was a joke by Celestia that just got way out of hand, but can still shut down a room of angry nobles with a glare.
52	* CapitalLettersAreMagic: To emphasise how serious he is being, a noble uses capital letters as part of his rant on how Twilight Sparkle popping in for a visit Spells Doom For All.
53	* CloudCuckoolander: Leafy, mostly due to having skipped breakfast. And he's also [[BunnyEarsLawyer Permanent Under-secretary of State for the Home Office.]]
54	* TheComicallySerious: Princess Celestia, when she finally appears.
55	* ContinuityNod: Some difficult workponies bring up some of the exploits of Twilight Sparkle and her friends as reason for their being difficult.
56	* DeusExMachina: Princess Celestia appears in the climax bearing much needed tea for Dotted.
57	* DistractedByTheSexy: Spinning Top has been known to utilise this.
58	* EldritchAbomination: [[spoiler: the Disemvoweled One]].
59	* INeedAFreakingDrink: Professor Ivory Abacus says that after exorcising Twilight Sparkle's old room, they ''will'' need a drink. They do.
60	* LeeroyJenkins: After a long overdue cup of tea, Dotted Line launches into battle against [[spoiler: Ykzlpxlt!k. He survives, but not of his own ability.]]
61	* MakeItLookLikeAnAccident: A surprising number of edicts passed down by cabinet ministers "accidentally" end up going missing, or on fire, or in a moat, or set on fire then dropped in a moat...
62	* ManipulativeBitch: A heroic one. With the aid of a friend on the inside, Spinning Top regularly plays the Equestria Daily and the rest of the news services like a fiddle.
63	* MassOhCrap: The EQCS's reaction on learning Twilight Sparkle is coming to Canterlot for a visit.
64	* MisplacedKindergartenTeacher: It's apparently expected for Cabinet Secretaries to act like this, with a touch of Canterlot refinement to boot. Needless to say, neither of these things describe Dotted Line.
65	* MustHaveCaffeine: Poor Dotted Line has to go most of his day without a cup of tea. Luckily, Celestia shows up to give him a thermos.
66	* NarrativeProfanityFilter: Dotted Line's thoughts on the nobility aren't suitable for publication.
67	* NoKillLikeOverkill: A grand total of forty police officers are brought in to arrest one Silverwing, who did ''things'' to a young mare.
68	** Also an in-universe case of ContrivedCoincidence, since he was [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight supposed to be]] arrested quietly for political reasons. As Leafy Salad puts it: [[ImplausibleDeniability "Just five, I think you'll find. The other thirty-five were off-duty and, by freak of chance, were all in the area where the arrest was to take place."]] Don't ask about the Royal Guard...
69	* NotSoAboveItAll: Dotted snaps at a bunch of professors for getting distracted talking about Daring Do. Then we see his inner monologue, where he's angry because he prefers a different book than them.
70	* ObfuscatingStupidity: Dotted Line thinks (nay, desperately hopes) Twilight Sparkle isn't actually the innocent, cheerful adorable and slightly clueless-ly friendly pony she actually is.
71	* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Leafy Salad's frowning is noted to be unnatural, what with his PerpetualSmiler status.
72	* PunctuationShaker: Parodied with [[spoiler:"Ykzlpxlt!k, The Disemvoweled One" (The aforementioned "batrachian and tentacular" EldritchAbomination)]]
73	* ARareSentence: "Why is the erstwhile home of Princess Celestia's very favorite student covered in four feet of custard?"
74	* SanitySlippage: Dotted Line struggles to keep a level head throughout it all. He starts to downspiral after a close encounter with [[spoiler: The Disemvoweled One.]] Of course, it's still funny.
75	* ScrewThisImOutOfHere: The academics of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns flee the first chance they get. A few of the more savvy ones were fleeing before that.
76	* ShaggyDogStory: Dotted Line pushes himself to the breaking point trying to make sure that Twilight Sparkle has a place to stay in the castle...only to learn at the end that [[spoiler:she's staying with her parents.]]
77	* ShoutOut: One highly exclusive tea-shop in Canterlot has doorponies who are skilled in bouncing, and should they be sufficiently pressed, [[Literature/{{Discworld}} splatting]] as well.
78	* SlasherSmile: In a particularly jubilant mood, Spinning Top begins smiling in a way usually saved for sharks.
79	* TheStoic: A requisite of being a Guard, with increasing stoic-ness relative to rank. Sergeants apparently have full control over their autonomic systems, and the ability to speak without moving their face.
80	* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Dotted Line's reaction to learning about Twilight Sparkle's visit.
81	* TitleDrop: The opening of the story contains the full phrase, before mentioning that no-one's ever actually asked where it came from, and neither Celestia or Luna are talking.
82	* TranquilFury: Leafy Salad's reaction to what Silverwing did to that poor filly.
83	* TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard: [[spoiler:Ykzlpxlt!k, the Disemvoweled One, Devourer of Souls, Approacher At The Gate, and apparently at least a dozen more titles.]]
84	** Apparently Princess Celestia has even more than that. Apparently if a regular pony tried to recite them all in one go they'd asphyxiate.
85	[[/folder]]
86
87	[[folder: A Canterlot Carol]]
88	* EldritchAbomination: Another one haunts the chimney of Dotted Line's office every Hearthswarming: the dreaded [[spoiler:Santa Claus]].
89	[[/folder]]
90
91	[[folder: A Princess By Any Other Name]]
92	* EldritchAbomination: This time, it's a freaking ''baby book.'' After spending several centuries being worshipped and surrounded by powerful magic, the book has a limited degree of sapience and an unpredictable aura or wild magic.
93	** AndIMustScream: And judging from the voices, it's not happy.
94	* ExactWords: Ivory Abacus states that Dotted has a number of options for dealing with the book. She then supplies a grand total of one suggestion, before pointing out one is a number. Dotted isn't impressed.
95	* SanitySlippage: The director of the Bureau of Names and Standards snapped from looking at genealogy charts all day, and went on a quest to learn "how many miles" there were. He wasn't seen again.
96	* SpellMyNameWithAnS: Cadance's (Sorry, ''Cadence'''s) name change.
97	[[/folder]]
98
99	[[folder: Obiter Dicta]]
100	* AntiClimax: In "The Nature of War", unfathomable resources (and over a thousand words) are dedicated to building up the legendary griffon champion and his legendary sword before he is ready to attack Equestria. He is then [[spoiler:shot by a random pony with a crossbow]]. Of course, [[AnAesop this is the point of the story.]]
101	* AnAesop: The story of the legendary griffon champion, and the forging of his epic weapon, being killed by a random pony with a crossbow. Amusingly, both sides take different lessons from it. But both [[ProudWarriorRace Griffons]] and [[CombatPragmatist Ponies]] agree that the other doesn't understand the [[WarIsGlorious nature]] of [[WarIsHell war]].
102	* BrickJoke: Way back in Whom Princesses Would Destroy one of the panicked nobles made a speech about how Celestia was going to ascend Twilight Sparkle as an Alicorn. And cause Doom For All, naturally. It's dismissed as ridiculous. When it actually happens...
103	* {{Calvinball}}: [[spoiler: The Game Princesses Play is really just a quick game of Nomic that went way, WAY overboard. Some thousands of years ago. At least one section of it is a direct playing of Mornington Crescent from ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue'']].
104	** Not only that, but the phrase after the Mornington Crescent section - "the green cat was in play on the board of becoming" - is a close match to the flowery but nonsensical phrases used at the close of ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue''
105	* CombatPragmatist: The pony approach to fighting.
106	** Dotted, too, intellectually speaking; he is the only person in a thousand years to actually ask what the Game Princesses Play actually is, rather than debating about it.
107	* GratuitousLatin: It's titled "Obiter Dicta." It means 'said in passing' in Latin.
108	* HonorBeforeReason: The griffin approach to fighting. It doesn't end well.
109	* HyperAwareness: Luna, for all she is [[StrangerInAFamiliarLand out of her time]], is still the Alicorn of Night. [[SherlockScan And lies and deceit are in her domain.]]
110	* OddFriendship: Dotted, Leafy, and his family are close friends with the Griffin ambassador.
111	* PerfectlyCromulentWord: Apparently, there is a law on the books in Equestria (dating back several hundred years) stating that polyphiloprogeny is strictly forbidden in Equestria on pain of summary phythoplasty. Unfortunately, nobody in modern Equestria knows what either "polyphiloprogeny" or "phythoplasty" actually means. So they can't enforce the law because they don't know what it actually forbids or what the punishment for breaking it is supposed to be, but they can't repeal it because they can't debate it because they don't know what it actually means.
112	* TheSilentBob: The ponies of the Royal Guard learn to communicate without either words or visible motion.
113	--> "Doleful! Long time no see! How's the new post?"
114	--> Doleful Shade, being a guardspony, remained motionless, yet managed to indicate with the particular ''nature'' of the motionlessness that, all things considered, it was all going quite well, really, and the the missus enjoyed the raise the promotion brought which meant she could take a few less shifts.
115	--> "Well, that's certainly good to hear. Look, you are a batpony with his head on straight, what do you think of..." Here Dotted, who, unlike veteran guardsponies, wasn't an expert in immobile communication, jerked his head towards the door.
116	--> Doleful indicated with particularly stiff immobility that, being sworn to the new princess' service it really couldn't be his place to comment, but on a personal note, he himself had nothing to complain about.
117	* StrangerInAFamiliarLand: In "The Other Princess", where Luna cuts a swath through a social event with her powers of observation linked to sharp and pointed words.
118	--> '''Dotted Line''': "Well, Your Majesty, it was a... a noble effort. Very, uh, very earnest. A few minor quibbles if I may. Firstly, we no longer draw and quarter ponies. Haven't for nine hundred and some odd years. Secondly, you can't order ponies executed. Equestria hasn't had capital punishment since the reform act of 514, and even if it were reinstated-which given the positions of the Crown Loyalists and the Front Pegasus is actually probably possible-you'd need due process. Thirdly, the usual mode of address for members of the Royal Council is 'my lord' or 'my lady' not 'brief mortals.' Fourthly, we can't declare war on Stalliongrad, it's been a part of Equestria since 344, and fifthly the person you kept addressing as "Lord Privy Seal" is the stenographer. We haven't had a Lord Privy Seal since 889. [[LongList Sixthly,]] while I happen to know that it is true that Lord Trottingham's in dire financial straits and that the Duke of Whitetail is involved with... who you said, those were rather meant to be secrets, and chastising them for not hiding them better-even though it was a rather excellent lecture on OPSEC, Your Majesty-doesn't really help. [[EverythingExceptMostThings But aside from those, ah, trifling matters, it went well, I think.]]"
119	* TheSpymaster: Dotted has some dealings with the Equestrian Intelligence Services. [[spoiler: Luna winds up taking over once her talents in that field become apparent.]]
120	* TranquilFury: Dealing with the nobles after Twilight became an Alicorn, Dotted eventually snaps. He becomes very calm. And then he makes several pointed comments that show he knows ''exactly'' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord where all the bodies are buried.]] [[CurbStompBattle All Hail Princess Twilight Sparkle!]]
121	* WoundedGazelleGambit: A [[spoiler: [[DefectorFromDecadence defecting changeling drone]] looking to feed on sympathy]] tries this, impersonating an orphan begging on the streets of Canterlot. [[NoSell It doesn't work]], but despite initial appearances it's not BystanderSyndrome. Instead it's because, due to assiduous efforts over the centuries, [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome there just aren't any homeless orphans in Equestria.]] [[EpicFail Certainly not camped out next to the building where they administer those services.]]
122	[[/folder]]
123
124	Page is currently under construction. Help is appreciated.

Context FanFic / TheEquestrianCivilServiceSeries