Line #33 FanFic/MortonhaylesCTParody


1	-> ''What was really going on in Crono's head during his journey? Did he actually like Marle and Lucca? Does he think Frog is creepy? Would he slaughter every last Reptite and all of his friends to get naked with Ayla? Yes. Yes, he would.''\
2	-- ''Opening Header''
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4	Starting off as a joke thread in the depths of the Gamefaqs forums, ''Mortonhayle's Eleventybillionth Trip Through VideoGame/ChronoTrigger'', or just ''Mortonhayle's CT Parody'' is not entirely a fan fiction based away from the events of the game. Rather, it is the game itself, but seen through the personal perspective of Crono. Despite all implications otherwise, he does not particularly care for Marle or Lucca, and finds Frog to be suspicious and annoying. In fact, the only two party members he actually seems to consider friends are Robo and Magus, and even that relationship is strained.
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6	''Mortonhayle's CT Parody'', as the name implies, relies less on building new plot or scenarios, and more on picking apart the game's odd nuances and making fun of various ridiculous elements from the game. To guide the comedy along, Crono is reinterpreted as an irritating, misogynistic prick who will gladly throw his friends under a bus to get what he wants, and (much like Magus) sees Lavos as a means to an end.
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8	Can be read [[http://chronotriggermortonhayle.blogspot.com/ here]].
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10	!!Examples parodied, subverted, or otherwise not found in [[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger the original]] include:
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12	* ActuallyIAmHim: After Crono is recovered late in the game, Magus tries to explain his true identity to him, but is repeatedly interrupted by Crono spouting off insane guesses [[ItMakesSenseInContext in his head,]] such as that Magus is actually Dalton, Belthasar, or even Alfador (while also assuming Frog is Janus.) When he finally hears the truth, he just seems annoyed at Zeal seemingly being the solution of all these mysteries, and asks if [[FanWank He himself is also somehow from Zeal.]]
13	* ApatheticCitizens: Taken to a bizarre extreme when Crono decides to take Magus to Guardia Castle ForTheLulz. Everyone there acts like they've been friends with Magus for years, and Crono goes insane.
14	* ATankardOfMooseUrine: Poi, as described by Crono when Ayla tries to get him to drink it.
15	* AteItAll: In the game, the player never actually sees the Knight Captain distribute the Jerky at Zenan Bridge. In this story, The Knight Captain immediately devours the whole thing after declaring that the cook had saved them all.
16	* BestialityIsDepraved: How Crono views Queen Zeal's attraction to Lavos. At one point he attempts to engage both of them in a ''threesome''
17	* BinarySuns: Due to the way some of the in-game backgrounds work, there appears to be multiple suns on Zenan Bridge. Crono notices this, and understandably freaks out, having never noticed it before and getting extremely worried about skin cancer.
18	* CantGetInTroubleForNuthin: Magus, hilariously, much to Crono's disappointment and confusion.
19	* CharacterWitness: Parodied. Crono dramatically fails every possible good deed he could do at the fair, and fails to see how this is bad during the trial.
20	* ConspiracyTheorist: Crono, to the point that he could be the poster child for WildMassGuessing. Among his insane theories? Magus plans to take over Guardia with an army of frogmen, of whom Frog is a double agent. Also, his various theories regarding the entity, one of which identifies it as Alfador, and another as '''a piece of cheese he found on the floor in 2300 AD's Sewer Access'''.
21	* CrossCulturalHandshake: When the R-series robots attack Robo after he says hello, Crono assumes that's how they greet each other. Seconds later, he's joining in on the assault. Later on, an annoyed Robo kicks Crono in the balls. Crono assumes that's a sign of his friendship.
22	* DepravedHomosexual: Lucca. Slightly subverted when she first meets Frog and witnesses his slurp technique. She actually injures herself just to get him to slurp her.
23	* DracoInLeatherPants: Crono, according to Marle. She even directly describes him as such, while he is in the middle of abusing her.
24	* DudeLooksLikeALady: Magus is the butt of a lot of these jokes. Particularly noteworthy when Queen Zeal confuses him for Schala.
25	* ExtremeOmnisexual: Magus relates to Crono how, after returning to Zeal, his 20-something years of pent-up sexual tension went wild and lead to him having sex with a few Earthbound people and the sapling woman... ...[[ParentalIncest and his mother]]. And his [[BrotherSisterIncest sister.]] ...and the Golem Twins, along with Masa, Mune, Doreen, the Nu, Dalton, Alfador, [[CargoShip The Mammon Machine]]... ...[[ScrewYourself and Janus.]] Turns out though, only the first two are true and he was kidding about the rest.
26	* HollywoodHeartAttack: Gaspar suffers one of these later on, presumably after seeing Ayla topless.
27	* MistakenForPedophile: When imprisoned in the Mammon Machine, Crono's sight becomes blurred. After Schala and Janus free him, Crono rushes in to passionately kiss Schala, only to find himself holding Janus instead. His attempt to save face is to act like he was a pedophile all along.
28	* MurderTheHypotenuse: Almost as soon as Crono meets Ayla, and before he even knows if Ayla is seeing anyone or that Kino exists, he immediately starts turning "Crono Kill Ayla's Boyfriend" into a running gag.
29	* NewSuperPower: After arriving in Medina, Crono discovers that he can replace any party member with one from the End of Time simply by thinking of them and snapping his fingers. This is never explained here or in the game, but here Crono gladly uses and abuses this ability at every potential turn.
30	* OurHeroIsDead: Ironically, Crono doesn't die at all and the party merely ''thinks'' this occurred. In reality Crono was blasted back into the Ocean Palace, where he proceeded to run and skip gleefully back to the surface, free of his party members.
31	* TakeAThirdOption: When told that one of their party members will have to remain at The End of Time, Crono elects the old man who was already there. When that doesn't work, he elects ''himself''.
32	* ToiletHumor: Marle unleashes a tremendous fart in the Zeal city of Enhasa, just as they initially cross paths with Janus. Understandably, Crono misinterprets what he means by [[UnusualEuphemism "The Black Wind begins to howl".]]
33	* HorribleJudgeOfCharacter: Crono thinks Porre is a really nice place to live, and the [[VideoGame/ChronoCross people are incapable of harm.]]
34	* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist: Crono in a nutshell. He's a misogynistic, narcissistic jerk for whom most of the other characters start off either liking or hating, and usually end up just tolerating. Despite this, they absolutely will not let him leave the party. Surprisingly, he goes from loathing this to actually appreciating it.
35	* WardrobeMalfunction: Magus frequently uses his scythe to stealthily undo Marle's pants and Ayla's bra, both of whom blame this on Lavos. RuleOfFunny for Marle, and RuleOfSexy for Ayla, its one of the few reasons Crono and Magus actually get along.

Context FanFic / MortonhaylesCTParody