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4[[quoteright:250:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rsz_kbcw.png]]
5[-[[caption-width-right:250:Dispatches of TRUTH from the Beach City Undergriund (sic)]]-]
6
7''[[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com Keep Beach City Weird]]'' is an official CharacterBlog for ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' written by series head writers Matt Burnett and Ben Levin from the viewpoint of [[ConspiracyTheorist Ronaldo Fryman]]. In it, he tells about his insane theories as to what's been causing various strange happening around Beach City (that were actually caused by the Crystal Gems) as well as largely unrelated ramblings on everything supernatural and conspiratorial.
8
9An entry was made for most episodes in the first three seasons, generally related to events or thematically to the plot, and released shortly after that episode airs. A book based on the blog, titled ''Keep Beach City Weird: You Can't Hide the Truth!!!'' was released in April 2017. An advertisement for said book is the last post on the blog, as Burnett and Levin left the show around that time to begin production on ''WesternAnimation/CraigOfTheCreek'', which they created.
10
11----
12!!''Keep Beach City Weird'' provides examples of:
13[[foldercontrol]]
14
15[[folder:The blog]]
16* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking:
17** In his blog post that followed the start of the Summer of Steven, Ronaldo lists such bizarre phenomena as "[[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E2GemDrill Mysterious earthquakes]], [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E5HItTheDiamond UFO sightings]], and [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E1SuperWatermelonIsland chunks of fruit salad washing up on the beach]]." [[DramaticIrony If you know more than Ronaldo]], that last one [[AlienBlood is probably the most alarming]].
18** The section of "Local Weirdness" includes mascot costumes turned into fry-spewing monstrosities, people suddenly breathing fire, and pink lions, but the last section is solely dedicated to [[CreepyChild Onion]].
19* AstralProjection: [[https://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/65734119109/astral-projections-on-the-boardwalk Astral projection blog post says]] is used by "shamans, witches and even [[TheTriple the 32nd President of the United States]], Franklin Delano Roosevelt". Ronaldo attempted to project his mind by staring at a ketchup jar and believes he succeeded. What seems to have actually happened is he left work, walked around with no one talking to him because he's unpopular, then he passed out when he returned to the shop because he left the gas on.
20* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy:
21** UsefulNotes/FranklinDelanoRoosevelt used AstralProjection to attend meetings his polio prevented him from physically reaching. [[ToiletHumor Sometimes while he was on the toilet.]]
22** The Moon landing was ''[[DefiedTrope not]]'' [[MoonLandingHoax fake]], it was a means to [[SealedEvilInACan exile]] America's excess [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]]. It didn't work forever, as they were able to turn the Apollo 11 landing module into a spaceship that brought them back to Earth.
23* BrickJoke: In one of Steven's dreams in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E13ChilleTid "Chille Tid"]], Dogcopter meows. Months later, a post about ''Dogcopter 4'' [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/136626403061/keep-beach-city-spoiler-free reveals]] that Dogcopter is actually part cat due to his parentage.
24* CharacterBlog: The blog is not only run by a character in the show, but exists and has been mentioned in the show itself.
25* ContinuityNod: One of [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/66943809804/a-fish-called-weird the first couple posts]] has a mention of Ronaldo buying a sword replica at Delmarvacon. Sixteen months later, his [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/111526705606/sometimes-i-think-about-all-the-bad-decisions-ive Top 5 Regrets]] include spending $300 on that sword because there was another one he could have gotten for ''twice'' as much.
26* CrystalBallScheduling: Most entries were made alongside an episode of the show and had something to do with it, generally implying that Ronaldo is posting them in-universe around the same time. While some entries are Ronaldo's viewpoint of events that occurred in the episode or him encountering their aftermath, often it's about some element of the episode or thematically related without any causal link:
27** [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E12GiantWoman "Giant Woman"]] introduced the concept of [[FusionDance gem fusion]]. The corresponding post was about carnies, including two pairs of ConjoinedTwins.
28** Right after Steven uses time travel to make copies of himself in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E22StevenAndTheStevens "Steven and the Stevens"]], Ronaldo makes a post about alternate timelines.
29** In [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E35Lion3StraightToVideo "Lion 3: Straight to Video"]], Steven finds a magical dimension in Lion's mane, and gets to watch a video message to him left by his late mother. The corresponding post has Ronaldo reviewing the anime ''Koala Princess'', which is surprisingly deep despite its silly looking premise, and specifically mentions how touching it was that the main character finally got to meet her koala mother on the spiritual plane.
30** Steven is inspired to live on the road by a book series in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E40OnTheRun "On the Run"]], then Ronaldo posts a review of the graphic novel adaptation.
31** [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E42WinterForecast "Winter Forecast"]] is about Steven experiencing the same events over and messing up more each time, and is followed by a post about life's biggest regrets.
32** After [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E4SayUncle "Say Uncle"]], the non-canon {{Crossover}} with ''WesternAnimation/UncleGrandpa'', Ronaldo reports on ''Crying Breakfast Friends''[='=] crossover with ''[[FictionalCounterpart Inter-dimensional Family Friend]]''.
33** During [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E26StevensBirthday "Steven's Birthday"]], Ronaldo posts that you should never celebrate on your actual birthday, [[TheParanoiac lest you suffer from identity theft]].
34** [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E8MrGreg "Mr. Greg"]] is a MusicalEpisode about Pepe's Burgers giving Greg a royalty check for a jingle, which he uses to go to town with Steven and Pearl. The corresponding post was a crossover fanfiction about the mascot for Pepe's Burgers and Pear from ''Crying Breakfast Friends'' (who was established in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E14CryForHelp "Cry for Help"]] as their equivalent of Pearl), where both are performing at a club. One of the last lines references the jingle ("I would like a burger"). He even makes a reference to a Hot Dog in the audience, in reference to Steven bringing his hot dog duffel bag.
35* CrossoverShip: In-universe, one post is Ronaldo's fanfiction pairing Pear from ''Crying Breakfast Friends'' with the mascot of Pepe's Burgers.
36* DeathByIrony: The author of the ''No Home Boys'' series, which is about two train-riding VagabondBuddies, was run over by a train during a book signing [[TooDumbToLive in an active train yard]].
37* DespairEventHorizon: Ronaldo doesn't take it well when his girlfriend breaks up with him due to a misunderstanding in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E12RestaurantWars "Restaurant Wars"]], and it shows in the blog.
38-->''You know what? I’m over her! I’m over Jane and I’m over LOVE and [[{{Hikikomori}} I’m over any sort of human companionship]]. I’m just going to be single forever and dedicate all of my time to my research, and my book, and to building a giant robot that I can pilot into space WHERE THERE ARE NO FEELINGS!''
39* DroppedInTheToilet: In the August 21, 2014 post, Ronaldo announces that the blog is back, and that he was off the grid for the summer...because he dropped his phone in the toilet, and then dropped his laptop in the toilet while trying to look up a way to retrieve the phone that isn't gross.
40* EarAche: Ronaldo was listening to a cranked up microphone for [[ElectromagneticGhosts EVP recordings]] when the gem monster from [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E7BubbleBuddies "Bubble Buddies"]] started an earthquake with its [[SuperScream screams]]. He ended up hospitalized several days for "scabby ears".
41* EcoTerrorist: When Peridot's distress signal appears on TV all over the world, Ronaldo assumes from her green color that she is an android created by eco-terrorists to free zoo animals.
42* EnforcedPlug: When experiencing some WritersBlock, Ronaldo resorted to being one of many sponsors for Guacola, an avocado soda he spat back up the second he had it. The best Ronaldo can say is that "[[DamnedByFaintPraise technically, it is edible]]" and has supplementary use as mortar or to clog a drain. There's also mention of the company being a subsidiary of an industrial adhesive maker and in a lawsuit with 17 states.
43-->''Guacola. It’s a soda that pays people to say they like it, so you know it’s good.''
44* FictionalCounterpart: Numerous classic arcade games were made not by Creator/{{Capcom}}, but Ca'''r'''pcom. Strangely, both games they made were actually parodies of games made by Creator/{{Sega}}.
45* GripingAboutGremlins: The Beach City Gremlin (''[[CanisLatinicus Beach Urbem Gremlinus]]'') is a shapeshifting saboteur that's been around since colonial times, causing the Beach City Blimp Explosion of ‘37, the Great Traffic Tragedy of ‘72 [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and]] the ''VideoGame/StreetFighterII Turbo Hyper Fighting'' Arcade Cabinet Breakdown of ‘99. It is a distinct possibility that the gremlin's real identity is Amethyst, given she's a [[VoluntaryShapeshifting shapeshifting]] [[ThePrankster prankster]] who's lived in Beach City for thousands of years, and also has a very short, child-like body. Though real life myths about gremlins [[NewerThanTheyThink only go back to the 1920s]], so Ronaldo may have made the whole thing up entirely.
46* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:
47** Keep Beach City Weird stopped posting during the summer of 2014, [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/95404315941/keep-beach-city-weird-is-back-ive-been-off-the but returned late that August]] with the promise of up to six more posts, mirroring Cartoon Network's scheduling of the show through the end of the first production order. He then appends that he "[hasn’t] totally figured out my posting schedule yet", mirroring the show creators' repeated statements that they don't know or control when episodes will air.
48** After the broadcast of [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E44MarbleMadness "Marble Madness"]], [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/112839172676/ive-been-hearing-very-weird-sonic-disturbances Ronaldo noticed one of the Plug Robonoids entering the atmosphere]], so his plans for the next week involve watching the [[FunWithAcronyms C.A.R.T.O.O.N.]] [[note]] Comet/Asteriod [sic] Research Telescope Observing Objects Nationwide[[/note]] NETWORK, a comet-detecting service for commercial airliners, every day at 5 P.M., with the relevant points bolded. This just happened to give a reason to post once a day for each episode of the first Stevenbomb.
49** Ronaldo's [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E10RisingTidesCrashingSkies documentary]] was taken down from [[Website/YouTube TubeTube]] [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/121711009986/tubetube-took-down-my-video-because-copyright for copyright violations]], which he assume is for using a copyrighted music track. The unstated reason is that the documentary makes up almost an entire episode of the show, thus putting it online would be a copyright violation.[[labelnote:*]]Even though ''Keep Beach City Weird'' is an official CharacterBlog, getting permission from the network to post the video would likely take more effort than it's worth for the show's crew. Same-day episodes of Cartoon Network shows are exclusively available in the U.S. to paying television subscribers through the channel's website. [[/labelnote]]
50** [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/136626403061/keep-beach-city-spoiler-free The post before]] [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E25TheAnswer "The Answer"]] tells of Ronaldo staying off the internet for months to avoid spoilers for a movie, then being told the biggest plot twist when he was in line. It serves as a parallel to both the recent release of ''Franchise/StarWars: Film/TheForceAwakens'' ("the revival of one of the most famous sci-fi franchises in the world") and the show's return from another hiatus (the movie was ''[[ShowWithinAShow Dogcopter]] 4'', and the episode started the fourth Stevenbomb). In particular, his frustrations mirrors that of the crew at leaked clips from the upcoming episodes.
51--->''Spoilers are the worst.''
52* LivingBodysuit: Ronaldo finds a beta fish that had a human's mind implanted in it as a failed attempt to create an aquatic spy. After all, it bobbed up and down when he asked her if that's what happened.
53* MaybeEverAfter: Ronaldo pointed out that his ex-girlfriend (who dumped him after she thought he was cheating on her) liked a post he made about his love for her. He suggests that this is a sign they may still have a chance to be together.
54* NoodleIncident: At some point, Ronaldo had a blog post where he blamed the Irish for ''something'', which he took down and apologized for.
55* {{Spoiler}}: Ronaldo manages to spoil [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/136626403061/keep-beach-city-spoiler-free the ending]] of ''Dogcopter 4'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint in a post]] [[HypocriticalHumor decrying spoilers]].
56* ShoutOut: [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/79975170759/a-sky-full-of-g-u-y-s The B.O.Y.S. toys]] that Ronaldo shows include Big Boy, [[Music/{{Estelle}} American Boy]], [[Music/BeastieBoys Beastie Boy]] and [[Literature/TheOutsiders Ponyboy]].
57* ShowWithinAShow: Ronaldo mentions numerous fictional anime, TV shows, and video games.
58** ''Beautiful Satan Girlfriend'': An OVA about an otaku who [[DealWithTheDevil sells his soul]] [[MagicalGirlfriend for a girlfriend]].
59** ''[[VideoGame/VirtuaFighter Virtua]] [[VideoGame/StreetsOfRage Teens of Rage]]'': A [=3D=] reboot of a long-running beat'em up franchise. The picture shown is a blatant parody of ''Virtua Fighter''.
60** ''Soul Blaster'': A shonen manga that has somehow managed to produce at least [[LongRunner 3,762 chapters]] since 1976.
61* StylisticSuck: Not only is the blog's subject matter insane and self-indulgent on Ronaldo's part, it's full of [[RougeAnglesOfSatin spelling errors]] that were either made or left uncorrected intentionally by the actual writers. Even ''the [[TyopOnTheCover subject line]]'' for the blog has a typo ("Dispatches of TRUTH from the Beach City Undergriund").
62-->''LOOK. I am going through a LOT right now and I don’t have tiem to correct tipos!! I don’t even see what you’re talking abiout!!!''
63* TerrorDactyl: PlayedForLaughs in [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/84396570536/terror-dactyl a post name-dropping this trope]] where Ronaldo's amateur drawing of a [[WeaponizedAnimal Pterodrone (Pterodactyl Drone)]] includes a ''Ludodactylus''-esque head (''Pteranodon'' crest alongside teeth), pointed wings, back claws that can carry around objects, no pteroid bone, missiles, and a camera.
64* {{Troll}}: Meta example on Tumblr. The [[http://crystal-gems.tumblr.com/ Crystal Gems]] fanblog reblogged a post that [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/97849312646/crystal-gems-keepbeachcityweird-what-the-heck Ronaldo specifically said not to reblog]]. He calls them out on their failed attempt to troll him.
65* UnreliableNarrator: One really can't assume anything Ronaldo says about Beach City or the show's world to be anything resembling the truth, even the stuff that is portrayed as historical records.
66-->''The location of the Carnie Graveyard was secret, but I figured our local carnival owner, Mr. Smiley, might know of it’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, when I asked him, he gave me the old “What is wrong with you and why do you think I would know where a bunch of dead clowns are buried” routine. It all but confirmed my suspicion that the Carnie Graveyard definitely exists and one day I’ll find it.''
67* WeaksauceWeakness: Ronaldo believes that water will reveal the true forms of rock people.
68[[/folder]]
69
70[[folder:The book]]
71* AsymmetricDilemma:
72** [[BadToTheLastDrop Guacola, the guacamole soda]], is described as "So dense, it [is] like trying to drink a collapsed star! [[ShapedLikeItself Or a can of fizzy guacamole.]]"
73** An advertisement claims you can reblog a ''Keep Beach City Weird'' post for a 15% discount at Beach Citywalk Fries and [[WellDoneSonGuy to prove to Mr. Fryman that what Ronaldo does on the Internet is important]].
74** Ronaldo thinks a bunch of holes in a cliffside were dug by one of two things: [[OurGnomesAreWeirder Beach gnomes]] or rattle snakes. He doesn't want to stick his arm in any of them to find out.
75* BileFascination: In-universe, several paragraphs are devoted to how Guacola is "the grossest soda ever", then it's followed by a line advising readers to come to Beach City to try it.
76* BlatantLies: Believing any readers might be from the Labor Department, Ronaldo insists that Peedee is actually a very short eighteen-year-old.
77* CropCircles: Ronaldo found the diamond insignia Peridot's escape pod made in a field, along with the writing Steven and Jenny put next to it. While Ronaldo does think they're made by the Diamond Authority, he doesn't think they're meaningful.
78-->''An act of intergalactic graffiti courtesy of the Diamond Authority! [[DramaticIrony You'd expect aliens to want to turn this planet into a colony to harvest its resources for the purpose of creating more aliens]], but they only seem interested in pranking us! What's next? Prank calls asking if the Earth's refrigerator is running? Gluing a quarter to the floor in front of the vending machine in the White House? Putting a whoopee cushion in our planet's orbital path?''
79* TheCuckoolanderWasRight: Between all the crazy, Ronaldo gets a surprising amount of details right:
80** He correctly guessed Pearl's rocket in [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E28SpaceRace "Space Race"]] was piloted by an alien, specifically a rock person, trying to escape the Earth.
81** Disappointed at CropCircles he assumed to be an alien prank, Ronaldo says he ''expected'' the Diamond Authority to [[PlanetLooters colonize and harvest Earth's resources]] for the sake of BizarreAlienReproduction — exactly what they really tried to do.
82** None of the humans recognized Steven when he underwent RapidAging, and Ronaldo put his picture through a (probably self-designed) aging algorithm meant to show what he was like in his youth. It works almost perfectly, creating a drawing of Steven dressed as [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones Fred Flintstone]].
83** He guesses the Rock People ruled by the Great Diamond Authority have a HiveCasteSystem, theorizing several types (rulers, thinkers, builders) roughly analogous to the ones Homeworld actually has. One of them is [=CLODs=] ("'''cl'''umps '''o'''f '''d'''irt"), matching the FantasticSlur Peridot often uses. He also thinks they [[BizarreAlienReproduction reproduce by growing their young underground]] (out of rock candy).
84** When the Cluster was causing earthquakes when it was about to form, Ronaldo immediately suspected rock people. He even calls the tremors "cluster quakes" [[RightForTheWrongReasons because they came in clusters and breaks]]. His assumption that it's noise from thousands of rock people have a party is wrong, but also [[MetaphoricallyTrue right]] in a [[BlackComedy morbidly, hilariously]] [[MergingMistake wrong way]].
85* DirectLineToTheAuthor: The book is credited as "by Ronaldo Fryman with assistance from Matt Burnett & Ben Levin", the latter two being the real life head writers of ''Steven Universe''. Within the realm of {{Kayfabe}}, [[http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/159720408721/my-lifes-work-is-finally-here-keep-beach-city they are friends Ronaldo met on an anime forum]].
86* DramaticWind: Ronaldo likes to brood in windy places where his "frylocks" will blow around, advising people with short hair to achieve the same effect by wearing capes or very loose shirts.
87* EveryoneHasStandards: Even ''Ronaldo'' finds Onion bizarre enough to dedicated a whole page of the book.
88-->''This kid is weird. Like, next-level weird. I'm weird, swamp children are weird, earlobes are super weird, but Onion is just... I don't even know!\
89...\
90You can usually find Onion sitting on the docks or inside a vending machine at Funland Arcade. [[FreakyIsCool Say hello if you're in town!]]''
91* IncrediblyLameFun: Over a century ago, Funland Arcade was [[MeaningfulInitials Frederick Ulysses Neptune's]] Land of Mechanical Oddities and Entertainment, which included a "Kineto-Monkeyscope".
92-->''Apparently, you could turn a crank and watch a film strip of a monkey wearing a top hat. Man, old movies were lame.''
93* {{Interquel}}: The book was released late in the show's fourth season, but various things (all the pictures of Amethyst show her second outfit, the most recent episode referenced is [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E18CrackTheWhip "Crack the Whip"]]) indicate the in-universe writing took place late in the third season. It very clearly takes place before [[Recap/StevenUniverseS4E17Rocknaldo "Rocknaldo"]] (which aired two months before the book came out), as Ronaldo still doesn't known that the Crystal Gems and Rock People are the same, doesn't know the Crystal Gems' names, and talks about the idea of them teaming up as a theoretical.
94* IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace: Parodied; the mountain road from [[Recap/StevenUniverseS3E11BeachCityDrift "Beach City Drift"]] is given many names that are meant to be intimidating but just end up sound absurd ("The Devil's Backbone", "The Devil's Laundry Chute", "The Devil's Poorly Planned Highway"), the last of which is "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Municipal Maintenance Route 64]]".
95* InsaneTrollLogic: Because the Moon controls the tides, the ocean's disappearance is concluded to be from the Moon's orbit shifting. Thus, it is figured, the Moon '''has a moon'''.
96* ItsAllMyFault: Ronaldo believes Frybo coming to life was his fault because he had conducted rituals related to a [[OddJobGods potato-based]] EldritchAbomination he read about on the internet.
97* ItsProbablyNothing: Ronaldo discusses the giant woman that saved William Dewey during Beach City's founding. He brings up the obvious resemblance between her and the statue around the Crystal Temple, only to brush them off as having "probably no connection".
98* LiteralMetaphor: The sky-filling flowers from Rose's moss are thought to come from literal cloud seeding — dropping seeds into clouds to grow flowers [[RevealingCoverup that will distract people from UFOs]].
99* TheNicknamer: Not knowing the names of the Crystal Gems besides Steven, Ronaldo calls Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl "Square Head", "Purple Girl", and "Princess Nose", respectively.
100* RedBaron: Stevonnie is only refer to as "the mysterious [[Anime/SpeedRacer Racer S]]".
101* RemovingTheHeadOrDestroyingTheBrain: The cluster gems are assumed to be zombies, [[DiscussedTrope begging the question]] of how to stop a zombie that [[BodyOfBodies doesn't have a head]].
102* RussianReversal: Ronaldo theorizes the Centipeetle's semi-corrupted form came from either [[ComicBook/SpiderMan a human bitten by a radioactive centipede]]... or a radioactive human ''[[ManBitesMan biting]]'' a centipede.
103* SurveillanceAsThePlotDemands: The book often shows photographs of events from the show (made from screencaps of the actual episodes), often with no means for Ronaldo to have obtained them. [[LampshadeHanging Attention to this is called]] in regards to the CropCircles from [[Recap/StevenUniverseS2E3JoyRide "Joy Ride"]], which Ronaldo states he got an aerial view of by throwing his phone into the air while the camera was set on a timer.
104* TooDumbToLive: Refusing to bow to the glowstick lobby, Ronaldo will only dance by spinning around ''lit torches''. We're show a picture where he does so and his shirt has started to catch on fire.
105* {{Understatement}}: Ronaldo's father helped the book's publishing "a little bit" by paying for ''all'' of it.
106* YouAreNotReady: Some time after Steven explained the Homeworld ship was coming for the Crystal Gems, Ronaldo tried to do a followup interview with Steven to find out ''why''. Steven gets literally two sentences into [[InternalReveal explaining what he knows about the Gems' history]], freaking Ronaldo out so much that Steven abruptly ends the interview because he's afraid Ronaldo is going to choke on his drink — and his SpitTake broke the laptop everything was being recorded on.
107[[/folder]]

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