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* The ArtifactOfDeath! Want your enemies dead? Send them an Artifact of Death as a Christmas gift and heads are guaranteed to roll! This thing is so deadly, it will kill the entire post office the moment it makes it to the delivery truck!
* The ArtifactOfAttraction! No one knows what it does, but everyone wants it and its just flying off the shelves! It'll drives your enemies crazy with desire and greed, ensuring a full breakdown of any Fellowship unfortunate enough to find it.
* The AppleOfDiscord! Goodbye team cohesion, hello chaos and rubbish! That pesky SuperTeam just too damn good together? The AppleOfDiscord will snag that cohesion and split them up faster than Music/TheBeatles at [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon's]] wedding.
* The TomeOfEldritchLore! You book worms and {{Evil Sorcerer}}s can't pass up having one of these bad boys in your collection. [[{{Necromancy}} Raise the dead]], summon [[{{Satan}} the Devil]], become a dragon! From front cover to back this Tome is full of [[TheseAreThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow things man was not meant to know]]... would you like to know more?
* The EvilWeapon! Are books too wordy and boring for you? There's nothing wrong with [[BoringButPractical falling back on what works]], and a sword with a mind of its own with a taste for the souls of your enemies always gets the job done.
* The EvilMask! The latest in DemonicPossession, we guarantee anyone who wears out Evil Masks will find themselves powerless to resist its influence. It'll transform your mind and your body as it converts your karma into a fun {{Gacha Game|s}} of beastly parts.
* TropeCo/TheCorrupter! Highly contagious malice ready for firing into your unsuspecting hero. Starve their virtues, feed their {{Fatal Flaw}}s. You'll have a [[InstantAllegianceArtifact new minion]], friend and inevitable betrayal within the week.
* TropeCo/SealedEvilInACan! The end-all and the be-all. Simply open the can with your TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand Sealed Evil Can-Opener and your own custom-made AncientEvil will do the rest. Kick back and relax as the crops fail, miscarriages go off en-masse, TheLegionsOfHell crawl out from the mud and the sun eclipses.

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* The ArtifactOfDeath! ArtifactOfDeath™! Want your enemies dead? Send them an Artifact of Death as a Christmas gift and heads are guaranteed to roll! This thing is so deadly, it will kill the entire post office the moment it makes it to the delivery truck!
* The ArtifactOfAttraction! ArtifactOfAttraction™! No one knows what it does, but everyone wants it and its just flying off the shelves! It'll drives your enemies crazy with desire and greed, ensuring a full breakdown of any Fellowship unfortunate enough to find it.
* The AppleOfDiscord! AppleOfDiscord™! Goodbye team cohesion, hello chaos and rubbish! That pesky SuperTeam just too damn good together? The AppleOfDiscord will snag that cohesion and split them up faster than Music/TheBeatles at [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon's]] wedding.
* The TomeOfEldritchLore! TomeOfEldritchLore™! You book worms and {{Evil Sorcerer}}s can't pass up having one of these bad boys in your collection. [[{{Necromancy}} Raise the dead]], summon [[{{Satan}} the Devil]], become a dragon! From front cover to back this Tome is full of [[TheseAreThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow things man was not meant to know]]... would you like to know more?
* The EvilWeapon! EvilWeapon™! Are books too wordy and boring for you? There's nothing wrong with [[BoringButPractical falling back on what works]], and a sword with a mind of its own with a taste for the souls of your enemies always gets the job done.
* The EvilMask! TropeCo/UnholyHolySword™! While having a soul-eating sword is great, maybe you aren't much of a fighter, so why not trick that gullible hero to damning himself with a weapon too good to be true? With the TropeCo/UnholyHolySword™, that idiot will think they're given an TropeCo/ArtifactOfHope™ handed to them on a silver-platter when it will actually doom them to a doomy-doom ending!
* The EvilMask™!
The latest in DemonicPossession, we guarantee anyone who wears out Evil Masks will find themselves powerless to resist its influence. It'll transform your mind and your body as it converts your karma into a fun {{Gacha Game|s}} of beastly parts.
* TropeCo/TheCorrupter! TropeCo/TheCorrupter™! Highly contagious malice ready for firing into your unsuspecting hero. Starve their virtues, feed their {{Fatal Flaw}}s. You'll have a [[InstantAllegianceArtifact new minion]], friend and inevitable betrayal within the week.
* TropeCo/SealedEvilInACan! TropeCo/SealedEvilInACan™! The end-all and the be-all. Simply open the can with your TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand Sealed Evil Can-Opener and your own custom-made AncientEvil will do the rest. Kick back and relax as the crops fail, miscarriages go off en-masse, TheLegionsOfHell crawl out from the mud and the sun eclipses.
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* The AppleOfDiscord! Goodbye team cohesion, hello chaos and rubbish! That pesky SuperTeam just too damn good together? The AppleOfDiscord will take the form of their heart's desire and split them up faster than Music/TheBeatles at [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon's]] wedding.

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* The AppleOfDiscord! Goodbye team cohesion, hello chaos and rubbish! That pesky SuperTeam just too damn good together? The AppleOfDiscord will take the form of their heart's desire snag that cohesion and split them up faster than Music/TheBeatles at [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon's]] wedding.
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* The AppleOfDiscord! Goodbye team cohesion, hello chaos and rubbish! That pesky SuperTeam just too damn good together? The AppleOfDiscord will take the form of their heart's desire and split them up faster than Music/TheBeatles at [[Music/JohnLennon Lennon's]] wedding.
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* TheCorruptor! Highly contagious malice ready for firing into your unsuspecting hero. Starve their virtues, feed their {{Fatal Flaw}}s. You'll have a [[InstantAllegianceArtifact new minion]], friend and inevitable betrayal within the week.

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* TheCorruptor! TropeCo/TheCorrupter! Highly contagious malice ready for firing into your unsuspecting hero. Starve their virtues, feed their {{Fatal Flaw}}s. You'll have a [[InstantAllegianceArtifact new minion]], friend and inevitable betrayal within the week.
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[-TropeCo/TropeCo® is not responsible for {{Dump Stat}}s or {{Diminishing Returns|ForBalance}} in ExperiencePoints that may result from any involuntary [[FaceHeelTurn Face-Heel Turns]] caused when using ArtifactOfDoom™. Side-effects may include SanitySlippage, [[LaughingMad spontaneous giggling]], [[TheJinx chronic misfortune]], irritable bowel syndrome and a ApocalypseHow/Class6 End of the World Scenario. Do not handle ArtifactOfDoom™ if you are pregnant, are planning on becoming pregnant, are breastfeeding or are in possession of a TropeCo/TropeCo® ArtifactOfHope™.-]

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[-TropeCo/TropeCo® is not responsible for {{Dump Stat}}s or {{Diminishing Returns|ForBalance}} in ExperiencePoints that may result from any involuntary [[FaceHeelTurn Face-Heel Turns]] caused when using ArtifactOfDoom™. Side-effects may include SanitySlippage, [[LaughingMad spontaneous giggling]], [[TheJinx chronic misfortune]], irritable bowel syndrome and a ApocalypseHow/Class6 End of the World Scenario. Do not handle ArtifactOfDoom™ if you are pregnant, are planning on becoming pregnant, are breastfeeding or are in possession of a TropeCo/TropeCo® ArtifactOfHope™.TropeCo/ArtifactOfHope™.-]
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* SealedEvilInACan! The end-all and the be-all. Simply open the can with your TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand Sealed Evil Can-Opener and your own custom-made AncientEvil will do the rest. Kick back and relax as the crops fail, miscarriages go off en-masse, TheLegionsOfHell crawl out from the mud and the sun eclipses.

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* SealedEvilInACan! TropeCo/SealedEvilInACan! The end-all and the be-all. Simply open the can with your TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand Sealed Evil Can-Opener and your own custom-made AncientEvil will do the rest. Kick back and relax as the crops fail, miscarriages go off en-masse, TheLegionsOfHell crawl out from the mud and the sun eclipses.

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[[redirect:TropeCo/AncientArtifact]]

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[[redirect:TropeCo/AncientArtifact]][[quoteright:350:[[Film/TheCabinInTheWoods https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/cabingiveaway1big.jpeg]]]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Shop till you drop... then get brought back to life.]]

Hi. I'm LouisCypher, Head Manager of the ChaoticEvil Division at TropeCo/TropeCo® and I am here to offer a once in a lifetime offer for an TropeCo/AncientArtifact™ that fits your megalomaniacal disposition and aspirations of world domination and destruction!.

Introducing the ArtifactOfDoom™! With the TropeCo/TropeCo® ArtifactOfDoom™, you can obtain [[LovecraftianSuperpower eldritch powers]] that can ruin any hero's day.

It comes in [[RedIsViolent red]], [[DarkIsEvil black]], {{Red and Black|and Evil All Over}}, {{White and Red|and Eerie All Over}}, [[SicklyGreenGlow green]], {{purple|IsTheNewBlack}} and -- for the ladies -- PsychoPink! Our ArtifactOfDoom™ comes in one of seven models of your choice:

* The ArtifactOfDeath! Want your enemies dead? Send them an Artifact of Death as a Christmas gift and heads are guaranteed to roll! This thing is so deadly, it will kill the entire post office the moment it makes it to the delivery truck!
* The ArtifactOfAttraction! No one knows what it does, but everyone wants it and its just flying off the shelves! It'll drives your enemies crazy with desire and greed, ensuring a full breakdown of any Fellowship unfortunate enough to find it.
* The TomeOfEldritchLore! You book worms and {{Evil Sorcerer}}s can't pass up having one of these bad boys in your collection. [[{{Necromancy}} Raise the dead]], summon [[{{Satan}} the Devil]], become a dragon! From front cover to back this Tome is full of [[TheseAreThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow things man was not meant to know]]... would you like to know more?
* The EvilWeapon! Are books too wordy and boring for you? There's nothing wrong with [[BoringButPractical falling back on what works]], and a sword with a mind of its own with a taste for the souls of your enemies always gets the job done.
* The EvilMask! The latest in DemonicPossession, we guarantee anyone who wears out Evil Masks will find themselves powerless to resist its influence. It'll transform your mind and your body as it converts your karma into a fun {{Gacha Game|s}} of beastly parts.
* TheCorruptor! Highly contagious malice ready for firing into your unsuspecting hero. Starve their virtues, feed their {{Fatal Flaw}}s. You'll have a [[InstantAllegianceArtifact new minion]], friend and inevitable betrayal within the week.
* SealedEvilInACan! The end-all and the be-all. Simply open the can with your TropeCo/TropeCo®-brand Sealed Evil Can-Opener and your own custom-made AncientEvil will do the rest. Kick back and relax as the crops fail, miscarriages go off en-masse, TheLegionsOfHell crawl out from the mud and the sun eclipses.

The ArtifactOfDoom™ is a guaranteed tool for any aspiring GenericDoomsdayVillain and ensures a positive trend on any TinTyrant's resume.

For just one easy payment of your immortal soul, you can procure your own ArtifactOfDoom™. Let's face it, you didn't need that thing anyway.

The ArtifactOfDoom™: It's the {{Doomy Dooms|OfDoom}}!

[-TropeCo/TropeCo® is not responsible for {{Dump Stat}}s or {{Diminishing Returns|ForBalance}} in ExperiencePoints that may result from any involuntary [[FaceHeelTurn Face-Heel Turns]] caused when using ArtifactOfDoom™. Side-effects may include SanitySlippage, [[LaughingMad spontaneous giggling]], [[TheJinx chronic misfortune]], irritable bowel syndrome and a ApocalypseHow/Class6 End of the World Scenario. Do not handle ArtifactOfDoom™ if you are pregnant, are planning on becoming pregnant, are breastfeeding or are in possession of a TropeCo/TropeCo® ArtifactOfHope™.-]

[-If you are not satisfied with your TropeCo/TropeCo® ArtifactOfDoom™, then your money is gone and you aren't getting it back because it's ours now and no one cares what you think.-]

[-Batteries not included.-]
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[[redirect:TropeCo/AncientArtifact]]

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