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->'''Kate''': If you wanted me to be your wife so much, why did you sell me at a fair?!\\
'''Gypsy Ricky''': I wanted ''a drink''.
-->--''Series/TheWindsors''


->There's a couple- they were on a honeymoon, and the plane hadn't yet taken off, and the, um... The woman who had just gotten married just became ''violently'' and horribly ill on the plane. I mean, it was not like a pretty little, like, sick bag kind of thing, it was just like, "I'm going to paint with my organs." And people were freaking out all over the plane, and um... So they brought a stretcher down, and they put her on the stretcher, and they're wheeling her away, and like, the... The, um... Her- her new husband, he's kinda cruisin' along with the thing and he sees me and he's like, "Film/{{Deadpool}}! No way, high five!" And I'm like "''(stammering)'' what has she ''got?!''" Like, what's happening, I don't wanna... Y'know, he's like "Let's touch eyeballs!" It's like no! No! And by the way: your wife is like half dead! Help her! Help her, man!

to:

->There's a couple- they were on a honeymoon, and the plane hadn't yet taken off, and the, um... The woman who had just gotten married just became ''violently'' and horribly ill on the plane. I mean, it was not like a pretty little, like, sick bag kind of thing, it was just like, "I'm going to paint with my organs." And people were freaking out all over the plane, and um... So they brought a stretcher down, and they put her on the stretcher, and they're wheeling her away, and like, the... The, um... Her- her new husband, he's kinda cruisin' along with the thing and he sees me and he's like, "Film/{{Deadpool}}! "Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}! No way, high five!" And I'm like "''(stammering)'' what has she ''got?!''" Like, what's happening, I don't wanna... Y'know, he's like "Let's touch eyeballs!" It's like no! No! And by the way: your wife is like half dead! Help her! Help her, man!

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->'''Captain Gwent:''' We find a new planet, Captain gets to name it.
->'''Father Lewis:''' [[SarcasmMode Well, that should help tremendously, eh?]] At least when it squashes us flatter than rodent roadkill, we'll know what to call it. We won't have to race around screaming "Arg! Crushed to death by planet What's Its Name!"
-->--''Literature/{{Colony}}''


'''Gwen''' (nervously): Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.

to:

'''Gwen''' (nervously): '''Gwen''': (''nervously'') Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.

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->'''Van Eck''': If you fail, all the world will suffer for it.
->'''Kaz''': Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid.
-->--''Literature/SixOfCrows''


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->"This is something far more serious than people dying, even more important than real life economic turmoil and geopolitical conflict! This is the greatest external threat a writer will ever face; People on the internet saying mean things about one's work!"
-->--''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice''

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[[foldercontrol]]


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->You might not have heard, but the tales say that Lamitt roamed the land -- ''without her helm''. She willingly showed her face to those who weren't kin! She knew full well that it would dishonor her and us all, and she did it anyway. Then there's the part about bringing doom on all the world -- not one of our taboos, really, but it's generally frowned upon.
-->--'''Giott''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV: Shadowbringers'', "Traditions and Travails"

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->I will delete that last report as SPAM. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you did not pause your rather delicate operation to inform me of [[{{Filler}} your vehicular slaughter]]. We can continue on with this pleasant fiction, yes?
-->-- '''Richard Sonnac''', ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''

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->"Well, I'd like to relax over a coffee now, but it seems that's not possible."
-->-- '''Richard Maxwell''', ''VideoGame/RaidenV''



->"The Horde has [[TyrantTakesTheHelm a sickness]] in it. We wage war while the Earth Mother ''dies''. We have forgotten what truly matters, and my heart can bear it no longer."
-->-- '''Baine Bloodhoof''', ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft''

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->"The Horde has [[TyrantTakesTheHelm a sickness]] in it. We wage war while the Earth Mother ''dies''. We have forgotten what truly matters, and my heart can bear it no longer."
-->-- '''Baine Bloodhoof''', ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft''


[Ben and Max give Gwen a look that says "Really? That's what you're concerned about?"]\\
'''Gwen''' (nevrously): Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.

to:

[Ben and Max give Gwen a look that says "Really? "Seriously? That's what you're concerned about?"]\\
'''Gwen''' (nevrously): (nervously): Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.


->''When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town''\\
''With a foot-and-a-half of water''\\
''Everyone was all right, but I cried all night;''\\
''It blew my alphabet blocks out of order''
-->-- '''Hermes Conrad, WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'''

-> Late last night I returned home from my duties as royal envoy, to find my kin in a greater uproar than the southern city I had left behind. Ten months of Westgate's problems shrivel to insignificance when compared to the tragedy that has befallen the clan of the Wyvernspurs of Immersea.\\
How could the flattening of an entire neighborhood by a dragon corpse, followed by an earthquake and an underworld power-struggle, hope to compete with the theft of a family heirloom no larger than a zucchini and uglier than three-week-old sausage?
-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[Literature/ForgottenRealms Wyvern's Spur]]''

to:

->''When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town''\\
''With a foot-and-a-half of water''\\
''Everyone was all right, but I cried all night;''\\
''It blew my alphabet blocks out of order''
-->-- '''Hermes Conrad, WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'''

-> Late last night I returned home from my duties as royal envoy, to find my kin in a greater uproar than the southern city I had left behind. Ten months of Westgate's problems shrivel to insignificance when compared to the tragedy that has befallen the clan of the Wyvernspurs of Immersea.\\
How could the flattening of an entire neighborhood by a dragon corpse, followed by an earthquake and an underworld power-struggle, hope to compete with the theft of a family heirloom no larger than a zucchini and uglier than three-week-old sausage?
-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[Literature/ForgottenRealms Wyvern's Spur]]''
[[folder:Film]]



->'''Lana''': Ray is dying!\\
'''Archer''': Does that mean so must my dream?
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}, whose dream involved forming a lacrosse team out of RuthlessModernPirates''




to:

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
->You care about me saying "Mudblood" when I'm about to kill you?
-->-- '''Draco Malfoy''' to [[spoiler:'''Albus Dumbledore''']], ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''

-> Late last night I returned home from my duties as royal envoy, to find my kin in a greater uproar than the southern city I had left behind. Ten months of Westgate's problems shrivel to insignificance when compared to the tragedy that has befallen the clan of the Wyvernspurs of Immersea.\\
How could the flattening of an entire neighborhood by a dragon corpse, followed by an earthquake and an underworld power-struggle, hope to compete with the theft of a family heirloom no larger than a zucchini and uglier than three-week-old sausage?
-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[Literature/ForgottenRealms Wyvern's Spur]]''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action Television]]



->"Hey commander. Check it out! Big news; the new Blasto movie is breaking opening-week records! There's also a big expose on quasar tournaments, tips on how to make your apartment look bigger, and... oh yeah, ''a big-ass [[EldritchAbomination Reaper]] invasion."''
-->-- '''Joker''', complaining about this in ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''

->Oh my God, is there anything worse than a snake...ohyeathegiantTyrannosauruswaitingformeoutsiiiiide!
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' on ''Film/TheLostWorldJurassicPark''

->'''Lucy''': Hey, manager! I think we should call the game.\\
'''Charlie Brown''': Call the game?! Why should we call the game?\\
'''Lucy''': It's raining on my cake!
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}''

->'''Cartman''': (crying) My dad [[spoiler:was a ginger]]!\\
'''Kyle''': Dude, you [[spoiler:killed your own dad]] and you're worried about that?!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->You care about me saying "Mudblood" when I'm about to kill you?
-->-- '''Draco Malfoy''' to [[spoiler:'''Albus Dumbledore''']], ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''



->'''Rarity''': I was ''this'' close to getting that diamond!\\
'''Twilight''': (annoyed) You mean...getting rid of that dragon?\\
'''Rarity''': Oh, yeah...sure.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''



->Chuck's over there tripping out, and talking to a group of unknown synthetic beings living on a planet with wildlife about as deadly as the last one we were on, and the first thing you think is to defend your heterosexuality? What is '''WRONG''' with you?!
-->-- '''Risky''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''



->'''Brookyln Guy''': That [phone call] does not matter, you are taking a test and you're driving [[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic is da-is dangerous-]]\\
'''Bowser''': But [my mother is] cooking spaghetti!\\
'''Brookyln Guy''': IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT SHE'S COOKING FOR DINNER YOU ARE TAKING A DRIVING TEST, YOU'RE GONNA ''KILL'' EVERYBODY!!\\
'''Bowser''': Oh my God, what, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you don't want spaghetti, are you a hater-?]]\\
'''Brookyln Guy''': ''I'm not in the mood for spaghetti!''
-->-- ''WebVideo/SuperMarioLogan'', "Bowser's Drivers License!"



->'''Rarity''': (while [[BlobMonster the Smooze]] is overrunning the Gala) My shoes will be ruined forever! \\
'''Applejack''': That's what you're worried about? Really?
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Make New Friends But Keep Discord''

->'''dril''': Food $200\\
Data $150\\
Rent $800\\
Candles $3,600\\
Utility $150\\
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying\\
'''craig''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution spend less on candles]]\\
'''dril''': no

->''We must be ready for war. No, not that kind of war! (Shows title card for his War Stories video) This is something far more serious than people dying, even more important than real life economic turmoil and geopolitical conflict. This is the greatest external threat a writer will ever face, [[{{GIFT}} people on the Internet saying mean things about one's work!]]"
-->-- ''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice'', '''[[https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA TAKING CRITICISM]]'''

->'''Rata''': ''Got to say, kind of progressive of you to join a metrosexual biker gang.''
->'''[[SyntheticVoiceActor The One Whose Shape Was Snatched]]''': ''You absolute donkey. This is no measly biker outfit, but the uniform for the [[TabletopGame/YuGiOh Cyberdark Impacts]], a new age activist group dedicated to constructing many houses and schools for the purpose of educating a small solitary man by the name of Billbury.''
->'''Rata''': *{{beat}}* Sorry, did-what?
-->-- WebVideo/RANK10YGO, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv841zDd1mo&t=335s Archetype Archive - Cyberdark]]




to:

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
->"Hey commander. Check it out! Big news; the new Blasto movie is breaking opening-week records! There's also a big expose on quasar tournaments, tips on how to make your apartment look bigger, and... oh yeah, ''a big-ass [[EldritchAbomination Reaper]] invasion."''
-->-- '''Joker''', complaining about this in ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
->'''Brookyln Guy''': That [phone call] does not matter, you are taking a test and you're driving [[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic is da-is dangerous-]]\\
'''Bowser''': But [my mother is] cooking spaghetti!\\
'''Brookyln Guy''': IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT SHE'S COOKING FOR DINNER YOU ARE TAKING A DRIVING TEST, YOU'RE GONNA ''KILL'' EVERYBODY!!\\
'''Bowser''': Oh my God, what, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you don't want spaghetti, are you a hater-?]]\\
'''Brookyln Guy''': ''I'm not in the mood for spaghetti!''
-->-- ''WebVideo/SuperMarioLogan'', "Bowser's Drivers License!"

->'''dril''': Food $200\\
Data $150\\
Rent $800\\
Candles $3,600\\
Utility $150\\
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying\\
'''craig''': [[StatingTheSimpleSolution spend less on candles]]\\
'''dril''': no

->''We must be ready for war. No, not that kind of war! (Shows title card for his War Stories video) This is something far more serious than people dying, even more important than real life economic turmoil and geopolitical conflict. This is the greatest external threat a writer will ever face, [[{{GIFT}} people on the Internet saying mean things about one's work!]]"
-->-- ''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice'', '''[[https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA TAKING CRITICISM]]'''

->'''Rata''': ''Got to say, kind of progressive of you to join a metrosexual biker gang.''
->'''[[SyntheticVoiceActor The One Whose Shape Was Snatched]]''': ''You absolute donkey. This is no measly biker outfit, but the uniform for the [[TabletopGame/YuGiOh Cyberdark Impacts]], a new age activist group dedicated to constructing many houses and schools for the purpose of educating a small solitary man by the name of Billbury.''
->'''Rata''': *{{beat}}* Sorry, did-what?
-->-- WebVideo/RANK10YGO, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv841zDd1mo&t=335s Archetype Archive - Cyberdark]]



->"I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy Chop commercials. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Look at me now; I couldn't land an audition]]!"
-->-- '''King''', ''WesternAnimation/IsleOfDogs''



->"...In fact, it seems that every single person in Night Vale was actually [[ManchurianAgent a secret agent waiting to be activated]]. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to."
-->--'''Cecil''', ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale''

to:

->"...In fact, it seems that every single person in Night Vale was actually [[ManchurianAgent a secret agent waiting to be activated]]. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which ->Oh my God, is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to."
-->--'''Cecil''', ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale''
there anything worse than a snake...ohyeathegiantTyrannosauruswaitingformeoutsiiiiide!
-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' on ''Film/TheLostWorldJurassicPark''




to:

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
->'''Lana''': Ray is dying!\\
'''Archer''': Does that mean so must my dream?
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}, whose dream involved forming a lacrosse team out of RuthlessModernPirates''

->"I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy Chop commercials. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Look at me now; I couldn't land an audition]]!"
-->-- '''King''', ''WesternAnimation/IsleOfDogs''

->''When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town''\\
''With a foot-and-a-half of water''\\
''Everyone was all right, but I cried all night;''\\
''It blew my alphabet blocks out of order''
-->-- '''Hermes Conrad, WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'''

->'''Rarity''': I was ''this'' close to getting that diamond!\\
'''Twilight''': (annoyed) You mean...getting rid of that dragon?\\
'''Rarity''': Oh, yeah...sure.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''

->'''Rarity''': (while [[BlobMonster the Smooze]] is overrunning the Gala) My shoes will be ruined forever! \\
'''Applejack''': [[LampshadeHanging That's what you're worried about? Really?]]
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Make New Friends But Keep Discord"

->'''Cartman''': (crying) My dad [[spoiler:was a ginger]]!\\
'''Kyle''': Dude, you [[spoiler:killed your own dad]] and you're worried about that?!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->'''Gwen''': We've been at this for hours. If Ghostfreak trashes the campus, I'll never get admitted!\\
[Ben and Max give Gwen a look that says "Really? That's what you're concerned about?"]\\
'''Gwen''' (nevrously): Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Ben10'', "Ghostfreaked Out"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]
->'''Lucy''': Hey, manager! I think we should call the game.\\
'''Charlie Brown''': Call the game?! Why should we call the game?\\
'''Lucy''': It's raining on my cake!
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}''

->Chuck's over there tripping out, and talking to a group of unknown synthetic beings living on a planet with wildlife about as deadly as the last one we were on, and the first thing you think is to defend your heterosexuality? What is '''WRONG''' with you?!
-->-- '''Risky''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

->"...In fact, it seems that every single person in Night Vale was actually [[ManchurianAgent a secret agent waiting to be activated]]. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to."
-->--'''Cecil''', ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale''
[[/folder]]

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->'''Aveline:''' You, Varric, have a very large mouth.
->'''Varric:''' And here I've always looked up to you. What is it now?
->'''Aveline:''' There were fist-fights in the barracks over who was the model for your Guard serial.
->'''Chuck:''' Is it ''really'' so important that we sort this out ''now?'' How about we stop the [[DeadlyGas pending chemical weapons attack]], and then deal with the petty bullshit ''afterwards?'' '''[[EnragedByIdiocy ARGH]].''' No, sorry. I've only myself to blame. As a criminal, I forget I am so [[OnlySaneMan disproportionately civic-minded]].
-->--'''Website/SFDebris''' reviews ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

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->"...In fact, it seems that every single person in Night Vale was actually [[ManchurianAgent a secret agent waiting to be activated]]. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to."
-->--'''Cecil''', ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale''


-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[ForgottenRealms Wyvern's Spur]]''

to:

-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[ForgottenRealms ''[[Literature/ForgottenRealms Wyvern's Spur]]''

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