History Quotes / HookersAndBlow

->"“Everybody in this audience has been checked, and all week I’ve had things going up my nose. Every day I come in here. I haven’t had so much stuff up my nose since I shared a dressing room with Creator/ChrisFarley.”

->"“Sometimes it was just excessive drug use that was evident. Like cocaine on the side [of the nose] and they weren’t able to focus. One guy, Leif Garrett, came with a fresh wound from a pipe that he used for crack. He sort of gnawed it out. So when I met him in the green room, he had a normal face and he came out a few minutes later and he had a huge red welt of burn from being in the green room those 20 minutes I didn’t see him. People who are that messed up shouldn’t be on TV.”

->''The [[ArabOilSheikh jet-set Arab sheik]] that snorts a significant fraction of his country's GDP up his nose every year. The Viacom CFO who always has that ''thing'' [[AssShove up his ass]]. The [[TheMafia mob capo]] who offers a share of the rackets in exchange for a mistress named Zantosa. [[OldMediaAreEvil The editor]] of the ''New York Times'' who collects photos that his paper would never, ever print. [[SleazyPolitician The Senator]] who staffs his meth lab with young girls from Indonesia and Paraguay. Allow these humans to indulge their passions discretely, and you are their most valuable association: their dealer.''

->''The [[ArabOilSheik jet-set Arab sheik]] that snorts a significant fraction of his country's GDP up his nose every year. The Viacom CFO who always has that ''thing'' [[AssShove up his ass]]. The [[TheMafia mob capo]] who offers a share of the rackets in exchange for a mistress named Zantosa. [[OldMediaAreEvil The editor]] of the ''New York Times'' who collects photos that his paper would never, ever print. [[SleazyPolitician The Senator]] who staffs his meth lab with young girls from Indonesia and Paraguay. Allow these humans to indulge their passions discretely, and you are their most valuable association: their dealer.''

->Lawyers. You can always recognize them by the bad pockets. Lawyers always carry drugs. Ruins the line of their pants.
-->-- '''Spider Jerusalem''', ''ComicBook/{{Transmetropolitan}}''

->Cocaine is God's way of telling you you make too damn much money.

->I'm not addicted to cocaine, I just like the way it smells.

->We are in the entertainment business and I would suggest in that era, it was literally SexDrugsAndRockAndRoll. You could compare us to a rock and roll band in the early [[TheEighties '80s]]. The performers were making exorbitant amounts of money. Not all of them took steroids. But, later, if you added prescription painkillers to the mix of sex, drugs and rock and roll, it was a deadly cocktail. For some, habits never changed. They continued with the same lifestyle. You can't do that at [[GloryDays age 40...]]
-->-- '''Wrestling/VinceMcMahon'''

->'''Creator/JhonenVasquez:''' I needed to find an evil way to spend it so that Nickelodeon would be contributing to something unholy in the world.\\
'''Interviewer:''' What'd you spend it on?\\
'''Vasquez:''' Just whores. Whores over on Sunset Boulevard and Santa Monica. Whores and robots. [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Some of the whores were robots.]]
-->-- On the royalties from ''WesternAnimation/InvaderZim''

->'''Mike''': Moira [=McTaggart=]? More like Moira [[DemotedToExtra McTagalong]].\\
'''Jay''': You're just full of 'em today. You're just full of them puns.\\
'''Mike''': I hope Creator/BryanSinger was excited to be working with James [=McAvoy=].\\
'''Jay''': Why do you say that?\\
'''Mike''': Well, he originally thought his name was James Mack-a-Boy. "Oh, hey, we got a lot in common."
-->-- ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/XMenApocalypse''

->Another quiet Thanksgiving at Woodland this year. We’ve gone low key, baby! Champagne? YOU BET! Naked Cirque de Soleil? NOT IN THE BUDGET THIS YEAR. It’ll be just me and [[Creator/JackNicholson Nicholson]] and 600 of our closest [[BreadEggsMilkSquick drug dealers.]] No word on if we’re re-enacting the first Thanksgiving again. We usually do it, only in the nude. It’s a great number! Nicholson really DOES give everyone smallpox at the end of it. Keeps a vial of it in his safe at home! I’m not sure that’s legal!
-->-- '''[[http://deadspin.com/the-worst-nfl-family-in-america-must-be-stopped-1663369466 Robert Evans]]''', ''Deadspin''

->"There is something more than faintly reasonable about the droves of Tories attempting to spin the news that UsefulNotes/DavidCameron fucked a pig with variations of “well who hasn’t?” After all, that’s basically why the story was so viscerally enticing - the fact that nearly everybody’s reaction to the news is complete credulity. Simply put, fucking a dead pig is the sort of thing you expect someone like David Cameron to do."
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/capitalist-pig/ Dr. El Sandifer]]'''

->"I say all this as someone who likes Manziel. I would prefer to ignore the rather obvious fact that Johnny is here for the money and the girls, and just pretend he's some magical throwback that can turn it on when the game starts, like John Belushi hitting every line in a sketch [[DrunkenMaster after shooting 50 speedballs.]] But my inner football tightass knows this isn't how it works. My inner football tightass knows that Manziel is about to [[RealityEnsues get his ass kicked]]."
-->-- '''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-cleveland-browns-1626915245 Drew Magary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Cleavland Browns"

->Something seems off about these pictures of Leo on Babe Island. First of all, there are less than a dozen babes in bikinis. I mean, in this picture alone, I can only count four. FOUR?!? What happened? Did the ''S.S. Snatch Catcher'' capsize on its way to St. Barts and they all had to swim to Babe Island? Are there 35 to 40 model types currently lost at sea? Should someone send out in a search and rescue helicopter?
-->-- '''''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/03/leonardo-dicaprio-celebrated-new-years-exactly-like-how-youd-think-he-would/ DListed]]''''', "Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio Celebrated New Years Exactly Like How You’d Think He Would"

->I have often found it true of humanity that the more powerful the kine, the more he is ruled by unusual passions. [[BigScrewedUpFamily The Zantosa]] know such people: they throw parties for them at their estates in New York and Mexico City. The jet-set Arab sheik that snorts a significant fraction of his country's GDP up his nose every year. The Viacom CFO who always has that ''thing'' [[AssShove up his ass]]. The [[TheMafia mob capo]] who offers a share of the rackets in exchange for a mistress named Zantosa. The editor of the ''New York Times'' who collects photos that his paper would never, ever print. The Senator who staffs his meth lab with young girls from Indonesia and Paraguay. Allow these humans to indulge their passions discretely, and you are their most valuable association: their dealer.
-->-- ''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade - Clanbook: Tzimisce (Revised)''

-> Every so often, some politician or footballer or actor or whoever it is is caught in a hotel room, surrounded by hookers and cocaine. And everybody else goes: "Oh, the shame of it! How could he? How absolutely dreadful! I'd ''never'' do that! I've never had a chance, but I would never ''ever'' do that! Oh, the disgust that courses through me right now — you could bottle it!" But... ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint what else are you supposed to give hookers in a hotel room?]]'' "Yogurt, anybody? I made some yogurt this morning, would you like some? It's got Granola and everything. You sure? Go on, have a bit."
-->-- '''Creator/DylanMoran''', ''Monster''

->God knows how much scotch I'd tossed down or how many grams of dodgy cocaine I'd snorted by that stage. I crawled about the room, a jumble of overturned chairs and empty bottles and filthy plates and torn bed sheets, [[TheAlcoholic praying there was still some alcohol surviving somewhere]]. Of course, the room had been like that even before the cyclone hit. Julie and I had been living it up hard. For the resort had actually welcomed ''two'' guests before its untimely demise. Me, and my assistant publicist, Julie Favmore - twenty-eight years old, [[BrainsAndBondage cunning as the devil, and horny as all hell]]. The pair of us had set ourselves up in one of the suites - indeed, the only one that had been properly fitted out for display purposes, before financial reality sank in and construction ceased. All that time and effort deserved at least one [[APartyAlsoKnownAsAnOrgy party]], I'd decided. And what a time we had, with the whole place to ourselves. Oh, Julie... I wonder where you are now? My old balls are still aching from the things you did to them.
-->-- ''Underground,'' by Andrew [=McGahan=]

->Hey, Mr D, I think we're nearly out of cocaine and heroin. Not much Special K either. I think I'm down to my last hooker, too. [[DisposableSexWorker She stopped convulsing about an hour ago.]]
-->--'''[[HorsemenOfTheApocalypse War]],''' ''ComicBook/WormwoodGentlemanCorpse: Segue To Destruction''

->We are in the entertainment business and I would suggest in that era, it was literally sex, drugs and rock and roll. You could compare us to a rock and roll band in the early [[TheEighties '80s]]. The performers were making exorbitant amounts of money. Not all of them took steroids. But, later, if you added prescription painkillers to the mix of sex, drugs and rock and roll, it was a deadly cocktail. For some, habits never changed. They continued with the same lifestyle. You can't do that at [[GloryDays age 40...]]

->'''Creator/JhonenVasquez:''' I needed to find an evil way to spend it so that Nickelodeon would be [[FleeceTheBudget contributing to something unholy in the world.]]\\

-->-- '''Wresling/VinceMcMahon'''

-->--'''[[FourHorsemenOfTheApocalypse War]],''' ''ComicBook/WormwoodGentlemanCorpse: Segue To Destruction''

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/capitalist-pig/ Dr. Phil Sandifer]]'''

-->--'''Music/ScottWalker''', "Jackie"

-->--'''Spider Jerusalem''', ''ComicBook/{{Transmetropolitan}}''

-->--'''Creator/RobinWilliams'''

-->--'''Creator/RichardPryor'''

-->--'''Wresling/VinceMcMahon'''

-->--On the royalties from ''WesternAnimation/InvaderZim''

-->--''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' on ''Film/XMen Apocolypse''

-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/the-worst-nfl-family-in-america-must-be-stopped-1663369466 Robert Evans]]''', ''Deadspin''

-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/blog/capitalist-pig/ Dr. Phil Sandifer]]'''

-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-cleveland-browns-1626915245 Drew Magary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Cleavland Browns"

-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/03/leonardo-dicaprio-celebrated-new-years-exactly-like-how-youd-think-he-would/ DListed]]''''', "Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio Celebrated New Years Exactly Like How You’d Think He Would"

-->--''TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade - Clanbook: Tzimisce (Revised)''

-->--'''Creator/DylanMoran''', ''Monster''

-->--''Underground,'' by Andrew [=McGahan=]