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-->-- ''Deadpool'' vol. 1 #5

to:

-->-- ''Deadpool'' ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #5



-->-- ''Deadpool'' vol. 1 #12

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-->-- ''Deadpool'' ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #12



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume 1 #33

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-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume vol. 1 #33
#33

->''"[[ComicBook/NormanOsborn You]] think I do this [kill people] for '''money'''?! I've been gettin' paid for high-end jobs since... '''forever'''. Have you ever seen me '''spend''' any of it? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if I have more money than '''you''', at this point. No, Norman... I stopped doing this for money '''a long time ago'''. I do it because it's '''fun'''."''
-->--'''{{ComicBook/Bullseye|MarvelComics}}''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 2 #12



-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol 3. #10

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-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol 3. vol. 3 #10



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Agent X'' #15

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-->-- '''Deadpool''', '''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', ''Agent X'' #15



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Black Panther vs. Deadpool'' #2

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-->-- '''Deadpool''', '''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', ''Black Panther vs. Deadpool'' #2



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Deadpool: Back in Black'' #2

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-->-- '''Deadpool''', '''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', ''Deadpool: Back in Black'' #2



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Deadpool vs. Thanos'' #2

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-->-- '''Deadpool''', '''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', ''Deadpool vs. Thanos'' #2



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/SpiderManDeadpool'' #50

to:

-->-- '''Deadpool''', '''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', ''ComicBook/SpiderManDeadpool'' #50



-->-- ''Wolverine: Origins'' #22

to:

-->-- ''Wolverine: ''ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}: Origins'' #22


For Deadpool quotes from the comic book series ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'', [[Quotes/UncannyXForce see here]].

to:

For Deadpool quotes from the in other comic book series ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'', series, see ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' [[Quotes/CableAndDeadpool quotes]] and ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'' [[Quotes/UncannyXForce see here]].quotes]].



[[folder:Deadpool in comic books]]

to:

[[folder:Deadpool in [[folder:Quotes from ''Deadpool'' comic books]]



->'''Dr. Killebrew:''' B-but... the treatment... your health... I've ''saved'' you--\\
'''Deadpool:''' No. You just put your broken ''monster'' back together again. You've prolonged a life you ''ruined'' back in Weapon X. I wouldn't exactly call that a ''big save,'' doc.
-->-- ''Deadpool'' vol. 1 #5



->'''Deadpool:''' ''[riding in a Humvee with Weasel]'' ''Whoo-hee!'' Almost enough to make a body wanna go ''redneck'', don't ya think, ''Weaz?'' All we need is a ''gun rack'', a few jugs of ''moonshine'' an' a couple of ''daisy duke cut-offs'', and we could have ourselves one heck of a ''hootenanny!'' How 'bout after we find ''Terry'', we put some ''fishtails'' on this ''bad-boy'', strip a ''jet engine'' on the back and call it the ''Deadmobile''... then we could dress ''you'' up in a ''domino mask'' and ''speedos'' and call you ''Pool-Boy''...\\
'''Weasel:''' No thanks... Spandex makes my butt look ''big''.\\
'''Deadpool:''' Now, now, ''Weasel!'' You're a ''perfect'' candidate for a nice snug ''thong!'' Hey, screwheads! Don't you think our boy'd look great as a crime-fighting ''underwear'' model?\\
'''Gagged soldiers:''' Mmglf!\\
'''Deadpool:''' Oh, yeah, I forgot... You boys are bound to that ''military'' thing. Don't ''ask'', don't ''tell'', right? ''[sigh]'' [-I bet John Wayne's rolling over in his ''grave''...-]
-->-- ''Deadpool'' vol. 1 #12




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[[/folder]]

[[folder:Quotes by Deadpool in other comic books]]



-->-- ''Wolverine Origins'' #22

to:

-->-- ''Wolverine ''Wolverine: Origins'' #22


Deadpool isn't called the Merc with a Mouth for nothing! He has a lot to say, and a lot is said about him and in his comic books.

For quotes from the film ''Film/Deadpool2'', [[Quotes/Deadpool2 see here]].

For quotes from the comic book series ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'', [[Quotes/UncannyXForce see here]].

to:

Deadpool isn't called the Merc with a Mouth for nothing! He has a lot to say, say in his comic books and video games, and a lot is said about him and in his comic books.

them.

For quotes from the film films ''[[Film/Deadpool2016 Deadpool]]'' and ''Film/Deadpool2'', [[Quotes/Deadpool2 see [[Quotes/Deadpool2016 here]].

For Deadpool quotes from the comic book series ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'', [[Quotes/UncannyXForce see here]].



[[folder:Deadpool in live action films]]
->''"Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up."''
-->-- '''Wolverine''', ''Film/XMenOriginsWolverine''

-> '''Deadpool''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!\\
'''Colossus''': Language, please!\\
'''Deadpool''': ''Suck a cock!''
-->-- ''Film/Deadpool2016''

-> ''"I've given Deadpool every chance to join us. But he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"''
-->-- '''Colossus''', ''Film/Deadpool2016''
[[/folder]]


-> ''"Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."''
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Agent X'' #15



-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?\\
'''Deadpool''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...\\
'''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. ''Oh''.
-->-- ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #10

-> ''"I didn't let you beat me, Wade.'' I mean, I shoved my sword through your chest! ''Truth is... You're that good. You've always been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you figure out how to be a '' professional..."
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Taskmaster}}''', ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #36




-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #18

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Agent X'' #15


%% Needs sourcing and de-self-demonstrating:
%%
%% -> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
%% -->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!
%%
%%-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
%%-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

to:

%% Needs sourcing and de-self-demonstrating:
%%
%%
-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
%% -->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!
%%
%%->
'''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #18

->
"Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
%%-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Agent X'' #15


Deadpool isn't called the Merc with a Mouth for nothing! He has a lot to say, and a lot is said about him.

to:

Deadpool isn't called the Merc with a Mouth for nothing! He has a lot to say, and a lot is said about him.
him and in his comic books.



->'''Blind Al:''' The ''hero'' gig might not be so bad, and besides-- when was the last time you wasted someone and felt good about it? Maybe it's time for a change--\\
'''Deadpool:''' Uggg... Me, a nice guy? What do I do then? Change my name to ''kiddie pool'' and start a ''water park''? I don't think so. They want some sort of ''[='super-schmoe'=]'' to usher in a new age... they ought to go to ''Kansas!'' You know my motto--\\
'''Blind Al:''' 'Go procreate in isolation'?\\
'''Deadpool:''' That's the one.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #2

->''"I can't make it through the'' night ''without jumping out of bed with a cold sweat'' drenching ''my body, the antiseptic'' stench ''of the Workshop in my nose, the ''noise ''of that'' machine ''grinding in my ears -- I have to'' bite ''the inside of my mouth to make sure I'm in the'' present... ''and not back'' there... Do you remember!? ''Do you remember what you did to my'' teeth?"
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #3

->'''Weasel:''' ''[thought bubble]'' I think Deadpool's really got trouble this time, and it's my solemn ''duty'' as his weapon's man.. his ''confidant''... his ''bestest bud''... to warn him... no matter what the ''danger''... regardless of the ''cost''. 'Cause if I don't...\\
'''Weasel:''' ''[dramatically standing to shout]'' ... '''''I won't get paid!'''''
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #7

->'''Deadpool:''' Don't you realize that I'm trying to ''help'' you here?! ''[punching''] Trying to help you get it ''together''?!\\
'''Typhoid Mary:''' Nice ''moves'', baby.. Where'd you learn that one? Fightin' alongside the ''Avengers'', hero? Or was it the FF? Face it, hon, you're trying out for the ''wrong team''... only thing you got in common with the word ''hero'' is a few ''vowels''. You're ''not'' a ''good boy''... not ''underneath''... not ''anywhere''... You're just like me. A broken, crazy, beautiful ''killer''. Your little ''girlfriend'' was wrong--\\
'''Deadpool:''' ''[smashing her into beer bottles]'' '''Shut your mouth!''' You picked the wrong buttons to push, lady.\\
'''Typhoid Mary:''' Hero.\\
'''Deadpool:''' ''[smashing her onto the bar]'' Stop calling me that!\\
'''Typhoid Mary:''' Why? That what you are... a ''good guy'', right... ''hero''?\\
'''Deadpool:''' ''[between punches]'' Stop -- ''calling me'' -- '''hero'''!
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #8

->'''Deadpool:''' I need ''work'', Patch, but not the run-of-the-mill ''assassination'', extortion, and kidnapping gigs... I need a change of ''pace''... heroic work for someone of my pure ''heart'' and ''altruistic'' nature!\\
'''Patch:''' Geez, 'Pool, you ''okay?'' You ain't been experimenting with' ''Pop Rocks'' an' ''Mountain Dew'' again, have you?\\
'''Deadpool:''' No, good citizen!
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 1 #9



-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume 1 #27

to:

-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume vol. 1 #27



->'''Wolverine:''' You know what your problem is, Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything ''seriously!''\\
'''Deadpool''': Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was ''crazy''.
-->-- ''Wolverine Origins'' #22

to:

->'''Wolverine:''' You know what your problem is, Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything ''seriously!''\\
'''Deadpool''': Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was ''crazy''.
->''"Deadpool-Man! Deadpool-Man! Does whatever Deadpool can! Makes a plan, any size, catches thieves and makes them dies. Look out! There goes the Deadpool-Man!"''
-->-- ''Wolverine Origins'' #22
'''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 3 #6

->'''Deadpool:''' ''[clinging to the "Superior Spider-Man's" back to wall-climb]'' You know, if the internet could see the two of us like ''this'' it would have ''fits.''\\
'''Superior Spider-Man:''' What are you prattling on about?\\
'''Deadpool:''' I guess we go to different websites. You should try ''googling'' yourself.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol 3. #10

->'''Deadpool:''' ''[to Doctor Octopus, the "Superior Spider-Man"]'' Hey, Spidey--I've always wondered: who do you think is the ''lamest'' villain you fight? I'll concede I'm pretty much my own worst enemy. Plus, I fought a ''cow'' once. But ''you!'' Your rogue's gallery is the ''worst!'' The Vulture looks like Larry David bitten by a radioactive parakeet. The Rhino is ridiculous. You can't take a guy that's glued into an extinct creature seriously.\\
'''Batroc the Leaper:''' Beware ''Batroc,'' the Leaper!\\
'''Deadpool:''' Oops, hang on a sec--But the ''worst'' must have been ''Doc Ock.''\\
'''The Superior Spider-Man:''' No! You have it all wrong! The doctor was my ''most formidable'' foe!\\
'''Deadpool:''' Gimme a break. He looked like ''Elton John'' on ''stilts''. He was a one-man, fat guy ''cirque du souffle''. I'm just amazed you didn't strangle him with one of his ''stupid'' arms years ago. When Doc Ock died was he embalmed with formalde-''wide''? Were his services held at the House of Pies? In lieu of flowers, the family of Dr. Octavius asks you to send ''pancakes''.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' vol. 3 #10

->''"It's like I'' said, ''B.P., there's a'' rhythm ''to these super hero team-ups. First,'' the small misunderstanding. ''Then,'' the big fight ''(which was a'' tie ''by the way). So you'd better patch me up'' quick. ''Because we'' both ''know what happens in issue #3."''
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Black Panther vs. Deadpool'' #2



'''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...\\

to:

'''Me''': '''Deadpool''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...\\


Added DiffLines:

->''"I've got all these new abilities, and -- for the moment -- I'm feeling an incredible sense of'' responsibility... ''and the desire to commit acts of'' great violence! ''My'' super hero origin ''is'' complete!"
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Deadpool: Back in Black'' #2

->''"Come on!'' Someone ''has to die for real! I mean, what is this, a'' Marvel Comic?!"
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''Deadpool vs. Thanos'' #2

->''"Comics solve every problem!"''
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/SpiderManDeadpool'' #50

->'''Wolverine:''' You know what your problem is, Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything ''seriously!''\\
'''Deadpool''': Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was ''crazy''.
-->-- ''Wolverine Origins'' #22


Ya know, they don't call me the Merc with a Mouth for nothin'! Check out how that's true throughout the various media I've graced...

to:

Ya know, they don't call me Deadpool isn't called the Merc with a Mouth for nothin'! Check out how that's true throughout nothing! He has a lot to say, and a lot is said about him.

For quotes from
the various media I've graced...
film ''Film/Deadpool2'', [[Quotes/Deadpool2 see here]].

For quotes from the comic book series ''ComicBook/UncannyXForce'', [[Quotes/UncannyXForce see here]].



[[folder:Me Comics!]]
->'''Wolverine''': ''"You know what your problem is Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything seriously!"''
->'''Me''': ''"Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was crazy."''
-->-- '''{{Wolverine}}''''s insight on Yours Truly.

-> '''Taskmaster:''' ''"I didn't let you do anything. I mean, I ''shoved my sword through your chest!'' Truth is, you're that good. You've ''always'' been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you can figure out how to be a ''professional...''"''
-->-- [[ComicBook/{{Taskmaster}} Tasky]] telling me why I don't get many jobs...and that I'm the best in the business!...and crazy.

-> "Yay, now is fighty time, fighty time, blood blood blood!"
-->-- Fighty time is the best time!

-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?
-> '''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
-> '''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. '''Oh'''.
-->-- Yup, me and Nate were HoYay-tastic back then.

-> You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day, I'm winning- and I wouldn't have things any different.
-->-- '''Me''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33''

to:

[[folder:Me Comics!]]
->'''Wolverine''':
[[folder:Deadpool in comic books]]
-> ''"Yay, now is'' fighty ''time,'' fighty ''time, blood blood'' blood!"
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume 1 #27

->
''"You know what your problem is Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything seriously!"''
->'''Me''': ''"Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was crazy."''
-->-- '''{{Wolverine}}''''s insight on Yours Truly.

-> '''Taskmaster:''' ''"I didn't let you do anything. I mean, I ''shoved my sword through your chest!'' Truth is, you're that good. You've ''always'' been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you can figure out how to be a ''professional...''"''
-->-- [[ComicBook/{{Taskmaster}} Tasky]] telling me why I don't get many jobs...and that I'm the best in the business!...and crazy.

-> "Yay, now is fighty time, fighty time, blood blood blood!"
-->-- Fighty time is the best time!

-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?
-> '''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
-> '''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. '''Oh'''.
-->-- Yup, me and Nate were HoYay-tastic back then.

-> You
ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- motherload-- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day, I'm winning- winning-- and I wouldn't have things any different.
different."''
-->-- '''Me''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33'''''Deadpool''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}'' volume 1 #33

->'''Wolverine:''' You know what your problem is, Deadpool? Ya never learned to take anything ''seriously!''\\
'''Deadpool''': Is ''that'' my problem? I thought my problem was that I was ''crazy''.
-->-- ''Wolverine Origins'' #22

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?\\
'''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...\\
'''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. ''Oh''.
-->-- ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #10

-> ''"I didn't let you beat me, Wade.'' I mean, I shoved my sword through your chest! ''Truth is... You're that good. You've always been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you figure out how to be a '' professional..."
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Taskmaster}}''', ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' #36

%% Needs sourcing and de-self-demonstrating:
%%
%% -> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
%% -->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!
%%
%%-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
%%-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.



[[folder:Lights! Camera! Action...ME at the movies!]]

to:

[[folder:Lights! Camera! Action...ME at the movies!]][[folder:Deadpool in live action films]]



-->-- Wolvie after my [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine fucking punishment]].

-> '''Me''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!
-> '''Colossus''': Language, please!
-> '''Me''': SUCK A COCK!
-->-- Colossus isn't the only guy who wanted my mouth shut in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie]].

-> "Ive given Deadpool every chance to join us. But hed rather act like a child. [[PsychopathicManchild A heavily armed child.]] When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"
-->-- '''Colossus''' on me in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie.]] Sorry, Mr. CGI, but I'm not looking to room with you and your black and yellow buddies. Get me Jean's phone number and then we'll talk.

to:

-->-- Wolvie after my [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine fucking punishment]].

'''Wolverine''', ''Film/XMenOriginsWolverine''

-> '''Me''': '''Deadpool''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!
->
up!\\
'''Colossus''': Language, please!
-> '''Me''': SUCK A COCK!
please!\\
'''Deadpool''': ''Suck a cock!''
-->-- Colossus isn't the only guy who wanted my mouth shut in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie]].

''Film/Deadpool2016''

-> "Ive ''"I've given Deadpool every chance to join us. But hed he'd rather act like a child. [[PsychopathicManchild A heavily armed child.]] child. When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"
X-Man?"''
-->-- '''Colossus''' on me in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie.]] Sorry, Mr. CGI, but I'm not looking to room with you and your black and yellow buddies. Get me Jean's phone number and then we'll talk.'''Colossus''', ''Film/Deadpool2016''



[[folder:Game on with me!]]
-> '''Me, to Peter Della Penna:''' "Peter! Hey! I was just running around my game and I noticed that some shit was fucked up! What's up with that?"
-> '''Peter:''' "I warned you about the budget, Deadpool! You literally blew all the money!"
-> '''Me:''' "Wait, budget? What the hell, man?"
-> '''Peter:''' "Yes. You do realise all games have budgets?"
-> '''Me:''' "Peter, sweet-heart, bubala. Let me remind you that my website got 15 ''million'' hits the weekend we announced!"
-> '''(Cut to Me sitting at a computer)'''
-> '''Me:''' "One million one, one million two..."
-->-- What do you know? It turns out my biggest fan is me! And yes, he coughed it up. Thanks, dickhead!

->'''Me''': "Hmmm...how much C4 is this gonna take?"
->'''One of my voices''': "No more than 20 ounces."
->'''Another voice''': "What?! I hate the metric system! How much in ''American''?!"
->'''The first voice''': "Well let's see, uh...carry the seven..."
->'''Me''': "Dude, [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] math! Just use all of it!"
-->-- [[VideoGame/{{Deadpool}} My game]] has many cool moments like these! (Also, turns out 20 ounces was about right...but more is always better!)

-> How did anyone ever enjoy these games without me in 'em?
-->--'''Me''', commenting on my debut appearance in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3''

-> I need help! And a [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic po]][[HilariousInHindsight ny]]!
-->--Yours truly, should my health be running low in ''VideoGame/MarvelUltimateAlliance''

-> Da-dada! And the winner is: You! The Player! Yeah, you.
-->--My intros/outros of the bonus levels in ''VideoGame/LegoMarvelSuperheroes'' were nothing short of insightful, let me tell ya.

to:

[[folder:Game on with me!]]
-> '''Me, to Peter Della Penna:''' "Peter!
[[folder:Deadpool in video games]]
->'''Deadpool:''' Peter!
Hey! I was just running around my game and I noticed that some shit was fucked up! What's up with that?"
-> '''Peter:''' "I
that?\\
'''Peter Della Penna:''' I
warned you about the budget, Deadpool! You literally blew all the money!"
-> '''Me:''' "Wait,
money!\\
'''Deadpool:''' Wait,
budget? What the hell, man?"
->
man?\\
'''Peter:''' "Yes. Yes. You do realise all games have budgets?"
-> '''Me:''' "Peter,
budgets?\\
'''Deadpool:''' Peter,
sweet-heart, bubala. Let me remind you that my website got 15 ''million'' hits the weekend we announced!"
-> '''(Cut
announced!\\
'''Deadpool:''' ''[cut
to Me Deadpool sitting at a computer)'''
-> '''Me:''' "One
computer]'' One million one, one million two..."
two...
-->-- What do you know? It turns out my biggest fan is me! And yes, he coughed it up. Thanks, dickhead!

->'''Me''': "Hmmm...
''VideoGame/{{Deadpool}}''

->'''Deadpool''': Hmmm...
how much C4 is this gonna take?"
->'''One of my voices''': "No
take?\\
'''Inner voice 1''': No
more than 20 ounces."
->'''Another voice''': "What?!
\\
'''Inner voice 2''': What?!
I hate the metric system! How much in ''American''?!"
->'''The first voice''': "Well
''American''?!\\
'''Inner voice 1''': Well
let's see, uh...carry the seven..."
->'''Me''': "Dude, [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]
\\
'''Deadpool''': Dude, fuck
math! Just use all of it!"
it!
-->-- [[VideoGame/{{Deadpool}} My game]] has many cool moments like these! (Also, turns out 20 ounces was about right...but more is always better!)

''VideoGame/{{Deadpool}}''

-> How ''"How did anyone ever enjoy these games without me in 'em?
-->--'''Me''', commenting on my debut appearance in
'em?"''
-->--'''Deadpool''',
''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3''

-> I ''"I need help! And a [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic po]][[HilariousInHindsight ny]]!
-->--Yours truly, should my health be running low in
pony!"''
-->-- '''Deadpool''',
''VideoGame/MarvelUltimateAlliance''

-> Da-dada! ''"Da-dada! And the winner is: You! The Player! Yeah, you.
-->--My intros/outros of the bonus levels in ''VideoGame/LegoMarvelSuperheroes'' were nothing short of insightful, let me tell ya.
you."''
-->-- '''Deadpool''', ''VideoGame/LegoMarvelSuperheroes''




[[folder:Me in...web videos!]]
->''"You know, I always wanted to have my own action figure, and now I ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like Creator/RyanReynolds under this mask, just point me to the nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''
-->-- '''Me''', to [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Nite Owl]], ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC''

->"Pfft. What a rip! What makes this chump worth 10 bucks more than me? Come on! I'm ME! Wh-wh-WHAT?! Am I right? Yeah, I am. I'm pretty sure."
-->-- '''Moi''' on [[ComicBook/{{Deathstroke}} my ripoff's]] bounty. [[WebAnimation/DeathBattle Oh, BTW, I'm still waiting on that fifty mill, guys! Get on it already!]] And DON'T forget the ten bucks!
[[/folder]]














->''"You know, I always wanted to have my own action figure, and now I ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like Creator/RyanReynolds under this mask, just point me to the nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''
-->-- '''Me''', to [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Nite Owl]], ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC''

to:

->''"You Ya know, I always wanted to have my own action figure, and now I ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like Creator/RyanReynolds under this mask, just point they don't call me to the nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''
-->-- '''Me''', to [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Nite Owl]], ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC''
Merc with a Mouth for nothin'! Check out how that's true throughout the various media I've graced...

----

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Me Comics!]]



-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?
-> '''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
-> '''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. '''Oh'''.
-->-- Yup, me and Nate were HoYay-tastic back then.

-> You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day, I'm winning- and I wouldn't have things any different.
-->-- '''Me''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Lights! Camera! Action...ME at the movies!]]



-> "Ive given Deadpool every chance to join us. But hed rather act like a child. [[PsychopathicManchild A heavily armed child.]] When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"
-->-- '''Colossus''' on me in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie.]] Sorry, Mr. CGI, but I'm not looking to room with you and your black and yellow buddies. Get me Jean's phone number and then we'll talk.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Game on with me!]]



-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called me da-da!

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable in time?
-> '''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
-> '''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. '''Oh'''.
-->-- Yup, me and Nate were HoYay-tastic back then.

to:

-> "You're not allowed to crush his hopes and dreams and force him to do what you want him to do unless you're his real parent! He needs someone who'll love him and teach him how to shoot a gun and only show him the good porn! Someone like me!"
-->-- Me saving baby!Nate from the clutches of evil. I couldn't help it! He was so cute! And he called
How did anyone ever enjoy these games without me da-da!

-> "Oh, I've missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together."
-->-- FourthWallBreaking at its finest. I should give lessons.

-> '''The Cat''': But how do you plan to get it to Cable
in time?
-> '''Me''': We got this whole don't ask, don't tell thing goin'... not that there's anything wrong with that. Bodyslide by two...
-> '''The Cat''': Don't ask, don't tell--? ...Oh. '''Oh'''.
-->-- Yup, me and Nate were HoYay-tastic back then.
'em?
-->--'''Me''', commenting on my debut appearance in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3''




-> How did anyone ever enjoy these games without me in 'em?
-->--'''Me''', commenting on my debut appearance in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3''






-> You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day, I'm winning- and I wouldn't have things any different.
-->-- '''Me''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33''

-> "Ive given Deadpool every chance to join us. But hed rather act like a child. [[PsychopathicManchild A heavily armed child.]] When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"
-->-- '''Colossus''' on me in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie.]] Sorry, Mr. CGI, but I'm not looking to room with you and your black and yellow buddies. Get me Jean's phone number and then we'll talk.

to:

\n\n-> You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying [[/folder]]


[[folder:Me in...web videos!]]
->''"You know, I always wanted
to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, have my own action figure, and now I think... ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like Creator/RyanReynolds under this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way mask, just point me to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be better. I'm giving it a shot. At the end of the day, I'm winning- and I wouldn't have things any different.
nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''
-->-- '''Me''', ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33''

-> "Ive given Deadpool every chance
to join us. But hed rather act like a child. [[PsychopathicManchild A heavily armed child.]] When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?"
-->-- '''Colossus''' on me in [[Film/Deadpool2016 my movie.]] Sorry, Mr. CGI, but I'm not looking to room with you and your black and yellow buddies. Get me Jean's phone number and then we'll talk.
[[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Nite Owl]], ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC''


Added DiffLines:

[[/folder]]














-->-- '''Moi''' on [[ComicBooks/{{Deathstroke}} my ripoff's]] bounty. [[WebAnimation/DeathBattle Oh, BTW, I'm still waiting on that fifty mill, guys! Get on it already!]] And DON'T forget the ten bucks!

to:

-->-- '''Moi''' on [[ComicBooks/{{Deathstroke}} [[ComicBook/{{Deathstroke}} my ripoff's]] bounty. [[WebAnimation/DeathBattle Oh, BTW, I'm still waiting on that fifty mill, guys! Get on it already!]] And DON'T forget the ten bucks!


-> '''Taskmaster:''' ''"I didn't let you do anything. I mean, I ''shoved my sword through your chest!'' Truth is, you're that good. You've ''always'' been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you can figure out how to be a ''professional...''"

to:

-> '''Taskmaster:''' ''"I didn't let you do anything. I mean, I ''shoved my sword through your chest!'' Truth is, you're that good. You've ''always'' been that good. Which won't even get you a cup of coffee until you can figure out how to be a ''professional...''"''"''


-->-- '''Me''', ''{{Deadpool}} #33''

to:

-->-- '''Me''', ''{{Deadpool}} ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #33''


->''"You know, I always wanted to have my own action figure, and now I ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like RyanReynolds under this mask, just point me to the nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''

to:

->''"You know, I always wanted to have my own action figure, and now I ''am'' my own action figure! Say, if I look like RyanReynolds Creator/RyanReynolds under this mask, just point me to the nearest Barbie dream house, would ya, pal?"''


-> '''Me''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!\\
-> '''Colossus''': Language, please!\\

to:

-> '''Me''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!\\
up!
-> '''Colossus''': Language, please!\\please!


%%Attribution please?


->'''Me''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!\\
->'''Colossus''': Language, please!\\
->'''Me''': SUCK A COCK!

to:

->'''Me''': -> '''Me''': Finish fucking her the fuck up!\\
->'''Colossus''': -> '''Colossus''': Language, please!\\
->'''Me''': -> '''Me''': SUCK A COCK!

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