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'''Sokka:''' I don't even want to know.

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'''Sokka:''' [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar I don't even want to know.]]

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* In “The Fortune Teller” episode of ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'', protagonist Aang is headed back from the bathroom when he hears his crush Katara talking to the titular fortune teller. He eavesdrops onto their conversation in which Katara is told she’s going to marry a powerful bender. Katara’s brother Sokka catches him with a goofy grin on his face. For the record, Aang was correct in assuming that he’s the powerful bender that she will marry.
-->'''Sokka:''' Looks like someone had a pretty good bathroom break.\\
'''Aang:''' Y-yeah... when I was in there...\\
'''Sokka:''' I don't even want to know.


* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory is playing poker with]] [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

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* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory the Heavy is playing poker with]] [[ComicBook/SamAndMax with Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]


* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventoryis playing poker with]] [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

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* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventoryis [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory is playing poker with]] [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]


* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] is playing poker with [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

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* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy]] is [[VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventoryis playing poker with with]] [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]


* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, the Heavy is playing poker with Max, and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

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* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 the Heavy Heavy]] is playing poker with Max, [[ComicBook/SamAndMax Max]], and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]


* One sporting goods web commercial begins with a man and his wife in bed. She tries to seduce him, but he's not in the mood, and gets up to go downstairs. When she follows him down, she sees him from behind, sitting on the couch with his arm rhythmically pumping up and down. She bursts into tears and runs back upstairs. He just gives her a confused "What?" - and goes back to pumping up the soccer ball between his legs.

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* One sporting goods web commercial begins with a man and his wife in bed. She tries to seduce him, but he's not in the mood, mood and gets up to go downstairs. When she follows him down, she sees him from behind, sitting on the couch with his arm rhythmically pumping up and down. She bursts into tears and runs back upstairs. He just gives her a confused "What?" - and goes back to pumping up the soccer ball between his legs.



* ''Manga/NoMatterHowILookAtItItsYouGuysFaultImNotPopular'': In episode 4 Tomoko walks out of a store carrying a BL game and a massager (which she won in a raffle). Later on Tomoko is shown playing the game and using the massager (for its intended purpose) and she ends up falling asleep. Sometime later, her father walks into her room to see her asleep with the T.V. displaying a steamy scene from the game and the massager running. [[OpenMindedParent He simply turns the TV off, carries her to her bed and tucks her in]].

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* ''Manga/NoMatterHowILookAtItItsYouGuysFaultImNotPopular'': In episode 4 Tomoko walks out of a store carrying a BL game and a massager (which she won in a raffle). Later on on, Tomoko is shown playing the game and using the massager (for its intended purpose) and she ends up falling asleep. Sometime later, her father walks into her room to see her asleep with the T.V. displaying a steamy scene from the game and the massager running. [[OpenMindedParent He simply turns the TV off, carries her to her bed and tucks her in]].



* The scene from ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' where Sam Witwicky's parents notice that he's hiding [[HumongousMecha something]] from them in his bedroom. Sam (Creator/ShiaLaBeouf) can't tell them that his 30-foot-high transforming robot buddies are right outside the window, of course, and so hurriedly tries to get them to leave the room. Sam's mother outright ''asks'' [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown if he's masturbating]]. Sam, and his father, are approriately horrified and tell her to stop. When the [[MsFanservice outrageously hot]] Mikaela (Creator/MeganFox) pops out from his closet, they quickly end their suspicions and congratulate him. In the ''Podcast/RiffTrax'' commentary, Bill Corbett's suggestion definitely outdoes Mrs. Witwicky's "Sam's Happy Time" euphemism: he casts his ballot for "[=LaBeouf=] Strokinoff."

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* The scene from ''Film/{{Transformers}}'' where Sam Witwicky's parents notice that he's hiding [[HumongousMecha something]] from them in his bedroom. Sam (Creator/ShiaLaBeouf) can't tell them that his 30-foot-high transforming robot buddies are right outside the window, of course, and so hurriedly tries to get them to leave the room. Sam's mother outright ''asks'' [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown if he's masturbating]]. Sam, Sam and his father, father are approriately appropriately horrified and tell her to stop. When the [[MsFanservice outrageously hot]] Mikaela (Creator/MeganFox) pops out from his closet, they quickly end their suspicions and congratulate him. In the ''Podcast/RiffTrax'' commentary, Bill Corbett's suggestion definitely outdoes Mrs. Witwicky's "Sam's Happy Time" euphemism: he casts his ballot for "[=LaBeouf=] Strokinoff."



* In an episode of ''Series/GreysAnatomy'', George has a rash on his penis and is comparing it to pictures in medical textbook in the bathroom. Izzy knocks on the door and, hearing George's strangled answer, assumes he's masturbating. Nothing he says changes her mind, including his insistence that he has a girlfriend, particularly when he yells out "I"m coming! I'm coming OUT!".
* An episode of ''Series/TheInbetweeners'' sees Neil thrown out of a nightclub because he is believed to have been masturbating in a urinal. In fact he had been treating a cut on his genitalia. The reason was that he made some moaning sounds which was, of course, due to pain, but this wasn't obvious to the onlookers.

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* In an episode of ''Series/GreysAnatomy'', George has a rash on his penis and is comparing it to pictures in a medical textbook in the bathroom. Izzy knocks on the door and, hearing George's strangled answer, assumes he's masturbating. Nothing he says changes her mind, including his insistence that he has a girlfriend, particularly when he yells out "I"m coming! I'm coming OUT!".
* An episode of ''Series/TheInbetweeners'' sees Neil thrown out of a nightclub because he is believed to have been masturbating in a urinal. In fact fact, he had been treating a cut on his genitalia. The reason was that he made some moaning sounds which was, of course, due to pain, but this wasn't obvious to the onlookers.



* The ''Series/{{Angel}}'' episode ''Spin the Bottle'' has the cast revert to their young selves, where a pre vampire Liam locks himself in the bathroom and discovers he's a vampire present day by morphing and unmorphing his face, slowly at first, then faster. Cordelia hears the noise and guesses he's having ADateWithRosiePalms.

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* The ''Series/{{Angel}}'' episode ''Spin the Bottle'' has the cast revert to their young selves, where a pre vampire pre-vampire Liam locks himself in the bathroom and discovers he's a vampire present day by morphing and unmorphing his face, slowly at first, then faster. Cordelia hears the noise and guesses he's having ADateWithRosiePalms.



* ''Series/FatherTed'': During an episode in which Ted tries to prove he's not a misogynist, he is asked to judge a beauty pageant and has to comment on the girls as they do their catwalks. Unfortunately, just prior to the announcements, he gets into a fight with father Jack, who punches him in the stomach. This results in a great deal of exhausted groaning and wheezing during the announcements. Lets just say it doesn't sound too good coming out of a loudspeaker.

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* ''Series/FatherTed'': During an episode in which Ted tries to prove he's not a misogynist, he is asked to judge a beauty pageant and has to comment on the girls as they do their catwalks. Unfortunately, just prior to the announcements, he gets into a fight with father Jack, who punches him in the stomach. This results in a great deal of exhausted groaning and wheezing during the announcements. Lets Let's just say it doesn't sound too good coming out of a loudspeaker.loudspeaker...



* Creator/BillyConnolly in one of his videotaped stand-up comedy performances inverts the trope by offering a sure-fire way to get out of being caught in the middle of dating Rosie Palms: begin with exclaiming, "Thank god you're here!" Then begin explaining that you'd just been reading about one of those big spiders that attaches itself to the genitals, and just as you were reading, sure enough there was one of these spiders about to dig in, so you had to whack at it with your hand - repeatedly - to make it go away. Research as to the effectiveness of this excuse is inconclusive.

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* Creator/BillyConnolly in one of his videotaped stand-up comedy performances inverts the trope by offering a sure-fire way to get out of being caught in the middle of dating Rosie Palms: begin with exclaiming, "Thank god you're here!" Then begin explaining that you'd just been reading about one of those big spiders that attaches itself to the genitals, and just as you were reading, sure enough enough, there was one of these spiders about to dig in, so you had to whack at it with your hand - repeatedly - to make it go away. Research as to the effectiveness of this excuse is inconclusive.



* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, the Heavy is playing poker with Max, and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up, but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]

to:

* In one of the ''Machinima/TheGModIdiotBox'' sketches, the Heavy is playing poker with Max, and is annoyed by how much Max is talking. He tries to hit a button underneath the table that will shut Max up, up but misses. Quite a bit. Max...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTWYoVnRGpw&t=2m35s interprets it as something else.]]



* {{Inverted|Trope}} in [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touchy-subject/24091 This]] ''Website/NotAlwaysRight'' story, where a teen boy's mother refuses to believe he's engaging in such an activity (that he himself admitted to!) and insists that he has to have had a seizure of some kind. The poor kid ends up getting taken to the emergency room when the mother refuses to cave, and released quickly because there really wasn't anything to treat.

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* {{Inverted|Trope}} in [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-touchy-subject/24091 This]] ''Website/NotAlwaysRight'' story, where a teen boy's mother refuses to believe he's engaging in such an activity (that he himself admitted to!) and insists that he has to have had a seizure of some kind. The poor kid ends up getting taken to the emergency room when the mother refuses to cave, cave and released quickly because there really wasn't anything to treat.



* ''Podcast/FatFrenchAndFabulous'' has Han Van Meegeeren, a notable 20th century art forger whose parents disapproved of his interest in art, furiously painting alone in his room.

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* ''Podcast/FatFrenchAndFabulous'' has Han Van Meegeeren, a notable 20th century 20th-century art forger whose parents disapproved of his interest in art, furiously painting alone in his room.



** In "Hank's Dirty Laundry", Hank's credit card is falsely charged for supposedly renting and never returning a porn film. An anonymous benefactor ([[spoiler:Bill]]) leaves Hank a stack of porn films and a note saying that evidence proving his innocence is somewhere within them. Hank watches the films while taking notes with a pen and paper, only for the pen to stop working at one point. Peggy walks in just as Hank is shaking the pen trying to get it to work again, but from her perspective he appears to be masturbating.

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** In "Hank's Dirty Laundry", Hank's credit card is falsely charged for supposedly renting and never returning a porn film. An anonymous benefactor ([[spoiler:Bill]]) leaves Hank a stack of porn films and a note saying that evidence proving his innocence is somewhere within them. Hank watches the films while taking notes with a pen and paper, only for the pen to stop working at one point. Peggy walks in just as Hank is shaking the pen trying to get it to work again, but from her perspective perspective, he appears to be masturbating.

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* A tragic example in ''Manga/ACruelGodReigns'': Jeremy insists on washing his own sheets to hide the fact he is being raped by Greg The servants think he is doing it because "boys in puberty have many secrets".


* ''Series/CobraKai'': Miguel is doing calisthenics in his room. Grandma Rosa hears his exertions, and, between that and Miguel's insistence that he'll soon be done, draws her own conclusions.
--> Tocarse... (''Jacking off...'')
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* Creator/BillyConnolly in one of his videotaped stand-up comedy performances inverts the trope by offering a sure-fire way to get out of being caught in the middle of dating Rosie Palms: begin with exclaiming, "Thank god you're here!" Then begin explaining that you'd just been reading about one of those big spiders that attaches itself to the genitals, and just as you were reading, sure enough there was one of these spiders about to dig in, so you had to whack at it with your hand - repeatedly - to make it go away. Research as to the effectiveness of this excuse is inconclusive.



[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
* Creator/BillyConnolly in one of his videotaped stand-up comedy performances inverts the trope by offering a sure-fire way to get out of being caught in the middle of dating Rosie Palms: begin with exclaiming, "Thank god you're here!" Then begin explaining that you'd just been reading about one of those big spiders that attaches itself to the genitals, and just as you were reading, sure enough there was one of these spiders about to dig in, so you had to whack at it with your hand - repeatedly - to make it go away. Research as to the effectiveness of this excuse is inconclusive.
[[/folder]]


* Inverted in ''ComicBook/TheAdventuresOfBarryWeenBoyGenius'' by Creator/JuddWinick. When asked by his parents why he's been in the bathroom so long, he shouts back "Go away, I'm masturbating!"; while trying to dispose of the results of his latest failed experiment (which stubbornly keeps trying to climb back out of the toilet).

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* Inverted in ''ComicBook/TheAdventuresOfBarryWeenBoyGenius'' by Creator/JuddWinick. When asked by his parents why he's been in the bathroom so long, he shouts back "Go away, I'm masturbating!"; "I'm masturbating! Go away!!"; while trying to dispose of the results of his latest failed experiment (which stubbornly keeps trying to climb back out of the toilet).


** Chris was once really just using the bathroom, but his HolierThanThou grandfather assumed he was masturbating and railed against its sinfulness, scaring poor Chris away from what he was ''really'' doing for the rest of the episode.
-->''God's watching me do Number Two? Aw man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert!''
** After Chris is caught peeping in the girls' locker room, Peter approaches Chris' room, and there's a rapid thumping sound, which turns out to be Chris, playing with a ball-and-paddle. Peter gives Chris his porn collection, then leaves, and the sound continues, then Peter realizes [[InvertedTrope he's holding the paddle]].

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** Chris was once really just using the bathroom, but his HolierThanThou grandfather assumed he was masturbating and railed against its sinfulness, scaring making poor Chris away from what he was ''really'' doing too scared to use the bathroom for the rest remainder of the episode.
-->''God's --->'''Chris:''' God's watching me do Number Two? Aw man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert!''
pervert!
** After Chris is caught peeping in the girls' locker room, Peter approaches Chris' room, and there's a rapid thumping sound, which turns out sound. Peter knocks and Chris yells at him to be Chris, go away and come back later. Peter enters anyway and... Chris is playing with a ball-and-paddle. ball and paddle. "Aww, I was going for a new record!" Peter gives then takes the paddle and sits Chris down to tell him that what he did was wrong before giving him his porn collection, then leaves, collection so he can look at naked women in a more acceptable way. Peter leaves and the thumping sound continues, then Peter realizes comes back... [[InvertedTrope except Peter realizes he's still holding the paddle]].



* In the ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' episode "The Son Also Roses" Hank is suspicious as to why Bobby is spending so much time in his bedroom closet; it is implied that he thinks he is doing this, but he is actually growing roses and he's hiding it because he didn't want Hank to find out.
** In another "Hank's Dirty Laundry" someone has been renting porn using Hank's name and getting fined for not returning one of the videos (the actual culprit we later find out is actually [[spoiler:Bill]]). At one point the culprit sends him some video tapes to provide clues that he did not rent them. Hank locks himself in the bedroom to watch them; Peggy walks in on him, thinking he was masturbating and runs out--he was actually fiddling with a pencil while taking notes on the videos.

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* ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'':
**
In the ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'' episode "The Son Also Roses" Roses", Hank is suspicious as to why Bobby is spending so much time in his bedroom closet; it is implied that he thinks he is doing this, but he is actually growing roses and he's hiding it because he didn't want Hank to find out.
** In another "Hank's Dirty Laundry" someone has been renting porn using Laundry", Hank's name credit card is falsely charged for supposedly renting and getting fined for not never returning one a porn film. An anonymous benefactor ([[spoiler:Bill]]) leaves Hank a stack of the videos (the actual culprit we later find out is actually [[spoiler:Bill]]). At one point the culprit sends him some video tapes to provide clues porn films and a note saying that he did not rent evidence proving his innocence is somewhere within them. Hank locks himself in watches the bedroom to watch them; Peggy walks in on him, thinking he was masturbating and runs out--he was actually fiddling with a pencil films while taking notes on with a pen and paper, only for the videos. pen to stop working at one point. Peggy walks in just as Hank is shaking the pen trying to get it to work again, but from her perspective he appears to be masturbating.


According to popular belief, some groups of people -- teenagers, loners, men of all kinds -- masturbate a great deal. A character who locks himself in the bathroom or in his bedroom, or does ''something'' under the cover of a sheet therefore raises the suspicion that he's masturbating, even when he's doing nothing of the kind. [[InfractionDistraction The character may well be hiding something else so carefully that he can't or won't clear up the mis-assumption.]] Hilarity ensues.

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According to popular belief, some groups of people -- teenagers, loners, men of all kinds -- masturbate a great deal. A character who locks himself in the bathroom or in his bedroom, or does ''something'' under the cover of a sheet therefore raises the suspicion that he's masturbating, even when he's doing nothing of the kind. [[InfractionDistraction The character may well be hiding something else so carefully that he can't or won't clear up the mis-assumption.misassumption.]] Hilarity ensues.



** In "Self-Experimentation", the girls get back from the shower and find Izuku sweaty and red-faced while hunched over his bed. Startled, he hurriedly exclaims that he was just "experimenting", only for the rest of his team to come to the conclusion that he was having ADateWithRosiePalms. In reality, he was just trying to push his ability to control One For All.

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** In "Self-Experimentation", the girls get back from the shower and find Izuku sweaty and red-faced while hunched over his bed. Startled, he hurriedly exclaims that he was just "experimenting", only for the rest of his team to come to the conclusion that he was having ADateWithRosiePalms. ADateWithRosiePalms the way Kayama explained in class. In reality, he was just trying to push his ability to control One For All.All.
* In ''Fanfic/AmazingFantasy'', Izuku is reluctant to explain how the costume he bought to train with Peter is giving him a rash in all sorts of sensitive areas. His beating around the bush leads Peter to this conclusion.
-->'''Izuku:''' ''[motioning to his thighs]'' Um, Peter-san? Do you normally... become red? ''[blushes deeply]''\\
'''Peter:''' Huh? Um, kid, that's kinda not a thing you should be talking about with me.\\
'''Izuku:''' ''[turns even redder]'' N-No!


* In ''Fanfic/MyHuntsmanAcademia'', Weiss notices that an unusual amount of sticky tissues ave been going in the trash. She confronts Izuku about it, who admits that he's been using them a lot because leaving "it" alone is like leaving "an itch that you need to scratch". He then apologizes for doing "it" by Weiss's bed and getting some of "it" on her sheets. She then drops to her knees from shock. Meanwhile, Izuku is left wondering why she's reacting so badly to the fact that he's been sneezing and blowing his nose because of a cold.

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* ''Fanfic/MyHuntsmanAcademia''
**
In ''Fanfic/MyHuntsmanAcademia'', "Box of Issues", Weiss notices that an unusual amount of sticky tissues ave have been going in the trash. She confronts Izuku about it, who admits that he's been using them a lot because leaving "it" alone is like leaving "an itch that you need to scratch". He then apologizes for doing "it" by Weiss's bed and getting some of "it" on her sheets. She then drops to her knees from shock. Meanwhile, Izuku is left wondering why she's reacting so badly to the fact that he's been sneezing and blowing his nose because of a cold.cold.
** In "Self-Experimentation", the girls get back from the shower and find Izuku sweaty and red-faced while hunched over his bed. Startled, he hurriedly exclaims that he was just "experimenting", only for the rest of his team to come to the conclusion that he was having ADateWithRosiePalms. In reality, he was just trying to push his ability to control One For All.

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* ''Film/SpiderManHomecoming'' - Peter Parker's roommate Ned Leeds is the SecretKeeper turned MissionControl to the titular superhero - unfortunately all he has to work with are the school's computers, during prom, leading to a patrolling teacher finding him in there. The best excuse he can come up with?
-->"I'm... looking at... porn."

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* On ''Series/KimsConvenience'', Gerald hears Janet in her room moaning, along with a vibrating noise and assumes she's pleasuring herself. He continues to assume this when he hears Janet and her parents talking about "massage-''kigae''", only to find out that the "massage-''kigae''" is just a neck massager.

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