History Literature / KellyTheRomanWarrior

''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8181979/1/Kelly-The-Roman-Warrior Kelly the Roman Warrior]]'' is a story by [=KingAurthr2=]. Despite being hosted on Fanfiction.net, its setting is not based on any already existing fictional universe, though the story regularly imports/plagiarizes concepts from other stories, such as [[Literature/HarryPotter Patronuses]] and {{Franchise/Godzilla}}. It's got all the hallmarks of a legendary "bad fic", such as a MarySue lead, [[RougeAnglesOfSatin terrible spelling]], AnachronismStew, and tons of {{Narm}}, yet despite those it's strangely got some genuinely good moments to make it entertaining at times.

The premise is as follows: [[OverlyLongName Kelly Mariena Ceaser Joenson]] is a nineteen-year-old girl growing up in AncientGrome with her father. She wants to become a soldier and fight in war, but her father refuses, fearing her death. But one night, Godzilla bursts in and sets their house of fire, forcing Kelly to flee. She cannot find her father during the attack, so she resolves to return and find him. With the help of her ghost deer Elkus and an old woman who needs several ingredients to scry for her father, Kelly's quest to save him begins.

There is a dramatic reading by Website/YouTube user mutantmuseum (aka manwithoutabody) [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6hFG3Beqok&list=PLkpx8GQSAZWZZEzfKEnF1G7qpY8ZxUsjc here]].

Compare ''Literature/EmilyHTheVikingPrincess''
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!!Provides examples of:
* AdaptationalHeroism: Dracula is depicted as one of Kelly's allies.
* AnachronismStew: Oh does it ever. Despite being stated to take place "2000 year in the past in roman", Franchise/{{Godzilla}} attacks millennia before the atomic bomb, {{Dracula}} rules in his castle, and ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' has been published.
* AncientGrome: Despite being Roman, Kelly can turn into an avatar of Athena, and not Minerva. Likewise, in the sequel, her father invokes Zeus, rather than Jupiter.
* BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy: The Great Fire of Rome was caused by Godzilla.
* BigBad: [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Sauron]]
* BrainwashedAndCrazy: The Thor and thirty Hulks have all been turned evil by Sauron.
* DeliberateValuesDissonance: It's acknowledged that Kelly's family - being Roman aristocracy - owns lots of slaves, without any kind of moral judgement. They're nice to their slaves, if that helps.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: What is obvious shall often be made more obvious.
-->and so Elkus sayed "Forsooyth my ladye I will carry you" (he talks like old time like in a old timey book we read at shcool one time).
* EvilLaugh: The various villains laugh pretty often.
* FaceHeelTurn: [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]] and the [[ComicBook/IncredibleHulk Hulks]] are all evil now.
* FeministFantasy: The heroine fares somewhat better than in most MarySue stories – she is a woman warrior who doesn't have a love interest and doesn't overly rely on a male figure, who goes on a quest to save her father, gathers a traveling party and fights evil.
* HeroicSacrifice: WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}, Doinkey, and Cat In Boots all "snacrifice" themselves to [[YouShallNotPass hold off an attack]] by Hades.
* {{Kaiju}}: The evil forces include Franchise/{{Godzilla}}, [[Franchise/TolkiensLegendarium the Balrog]], and a big black hydra with ten thousand heads.
* AKindOfOne: The Thirty Hulks.
* MassiveMultiplayerCrossover: ''Franchise/{{Godzilla}}'', ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'', ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}}'', ''Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse'' and ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', with whiffs of ''Literature/HarryPotter''.
* MonsterMash: Kelly's party gradually becomes this, as it includes a ghostly deer, Dracula, a mummy, and an ogre.
* {{Mordor}}: The final portion of the story takes place there.
* {{Mummy}}: A good one joins Kelly's team. His name is never spelled the same way twice, but he's probably Tutankhamen.
* OurVampiresAreDifferent / YourVampiresSuck: A major plot point during the chapters at Dracula's castle is the feud between the "very powar" vampires like Dracula and the almost-completely-human Edward Cullen.
* PoliticallyCorrectHistory: While Rome's sexism gets a bit of play early on, the fact still stands that the mere notion of a woman warrior wasn't taken seriously at all.
* SympatheticSlaveOwner: Being nobility in Ancient Rome, Kelly's family are slaveowners. That being said, they're nice to their slaves.
* VoluntaryShapeshifting: Kelly's transformation into Athena.
* WalkIntoMordor: Kelly and co. have no problem with this.
* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Elkus speaks this way, often adding in "forsoothe" and "ladye".

* {{Mordor}}: The final portion of the story takes place there.

* MassiveMultiplayerCrossover: ''Franchise/{{Godzilla}}'', ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'', ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}}'' and ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', with whiffs of ''Literature/HarryPotter''.

* MassiveMultiplayerCrossover: ''Franchise/{{Godzilla}}'', ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'', ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'' and ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings'', with whiffs of ''Literature/HarryPotter''.

* AncientGrome: Despite being Roman, Kelly can turn into an avatar of Athena, and not Minerva.

mutantmuseum (aka manwithoutabody) [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6hFG3Beqok&list=PLkpx8GQSAZWZZEzfKEnF1G7qpY8ZxUsjc here]].

There is a dramatic reading by Website/YouTube user manwithoutabody [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6hFG3Beqok&list=PLkpx8GQSAZWZZEzfKEnF1G7qpY8ZxUsjc here]].

* AnachronismStew: Oh does it ever. Despite being stated to take place "2000 year in the past in roman", Franchise/{{Godzilla}} attacks millennia before the atomic bomb, {{Dracula}} rules in his castle, and ''{{Literature/Twilight}}'' has been published.

* HeroicSacrifice: WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}, Doinkey, and Cat In Boots all "snacrifice" themselves to [[YouShallNotPass hold off an attack]] by Hades.

* FaceHeelTurn: Comics/{{Thor}} and the [[ComicBook/IncredibleHulk Hulks]] are all evil now.
* {{Kaiju}}: The evil forces include Godzilla, the Balrog, and a big black hydra with ten thousand heads.

** On the other hand, it's acknowledged that Kelly's family - being Roman aristocracy - owns lots of slaves, without any kind of moral judgement. They're nice to their slaves, if that helps.

There is a dramatic reading by YouTube user manwithoutabody [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6hFG3Beqok&list=PLkpx8GQSAZWZZEzfKEnF1G7qpY8ZxUsjc here]].

* FaceHeelTurn: Comics/{{Thor}} and the [[TheIncredibleHulk Hulks]] are all evil now.

* HeroicSacrifice: {{Shrek}}, Doinkey, and Cat In Boots all "snacrifice" themselves to [[YouShallNotPass hold off an attack]] by Hades.

* {{Mordor}}

There is an ongoing dramatic reading by Creator/ManWithoutABody [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6hFG3Beqok&list=PLkpx8GQSAZWZZEzfKEnF1G7qpY8ZxUsjc here]].

* AnachronismStew: Oh does it ever. Despite being stated to take place "2000 year in the past in roman", {{Godzilla}} attacks millennia before the atomic bomb, {{Dracula}} rules in his castle, and ''{{Literature/Twilight}}'' has been published.

* BigBad: [[TheLordOfTheRings Sauron]]

* AnachronismStew: Oh does it ever. Despite being stated to take place "2000 year in the past in roman", Godzilla attacks millennia before the atomic bomb, {{Dracula}} rules in his castle, and ''{{Literature/Twilight}}'' has been published.

* PoliticallyCorrectHistory: While Rome's sexism gets way too overplayed, the fact still stands that the mere notion of a woman warrior wasn't taken seriously at all.
** On the other hand, it's acknowledged that Kelly's family owns lots of slaves, without any kind of moral judgement. They're nice to their slaves, if that helps. And being a slave in Ancient Rome wasn't the worst thing ever.

There is an ongoing dramatic reading by ManWithoutABody here.

* PoliticallyCorrectHistory: While Rome's sexism gets way too overplayed, the fact still stands that the mere notion of a woman warrior wasn't taking seriously at all.