History Funny / ZeroPunctuation4

'''Hob:''' It sounds like you think I'm boring, Yahtz.\\
'''Yahtzee:''' ''All right'', I guess you ''haven't'' misunderstood me!

-->'''Yahtzee:''' Kinda kills the dramatic cutscene when you walk up with bunny ears and a piece of bog roll cellotaped to your nose!

-->Some of them are weak to arrows, some to fire, some of them are scared of flies, some of them are scared of public speaking, so you have to do a grab attack and throw them onstage at the Academy Awards...\\

-->One thing I could do without is the way every Captain has to give a fucking acceptance speech when they arrive ''(an Imp Orc states, "Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...")'', and you and all the orcs you were in the middle of fighting to the death have to stand still and listen to a paragraph of threatening banter they've probably been rehearsing for days. ''(an Imp Orc comes in asking, "Am I late", and being shushed by another Imp Orc)'' And now I'm wondering who the fuck's educating these orcs, because one of them, in their opening remarks, [[SophisticatedAsHell knew what a fucking metaphor was]]. Are there orc liberal arts professors somewhere, assuring each other that stamping out ignorance of advanced language techniques is also basically the same as fighting?

'''Yahtzee:''' Well, what is a sequel to then?\\

* Yahtzee metaphorically describing the third party developers abandoning Nintendo in favor of Sony, because of Nintendo's decision to use cartridges for the UsefulNotes/Nintendo64, as Nintendo as a teenage school-boy being spurned by all of his friends and flirts.

* On the UsefulNotes/PlayStation winning the fifth generation:

* Yahtzee's TakeThat on the UsefulNotes/{{Wii}} and UsefulNotes/WiiU consoles:

* "Now, when Reid ''says'' he hasn't killed shit, he's truncating a little. He should've said 'I haven't killed shit, except for the 500,000 vampire hunters I murdered in standard combat.' Yes, this is the rather [[WhatMeasureIsAMook glaring incongruity]] in ''Vampyr''. There's something a little bit hollow about Jonathan Reid's quiet nobility and pacifism when he's just had to ''murder'' twelve Cockney thugs on the way back from the chemist."

-->'''Dontnod developer:''' Um, excuse me, Yahtzee; they're called "Ekons".\\

'''Dontnod developer:''' Ekons! [[NotUsingTheZWord It's our special word for "vampires"]]! We made it up!\\
'''Yahtzee:''' I can fucking tell you did! Might stick with "vampire", if it's all the same to you; "Ekons" sounds too much like an Alien Race of the Week from ''Series/DoctorWho''. Anyway, Jonathan's a physician by trade, and returns after the first World War to find London stricken by both UsefulNotes/TheSpanishFlu and a plague of ghouls who--\\
'''Dontnod developer:''' Not "ghouls", Yahtzee! "Skals"!\\

--> '''Yahtzee:''' ''That's a'' '''''ghoul!!'''''\\
'''Dontnod developer:''' '''''We call it a Skal!!'''''

'''Bystander #3:''' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Is it two crippled kestrels fighting over an epileptic bat?]]

* Riku (the guy palling around Mickey in a black desert) has a mop head over his head and is described as a "WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies version of Sephiroth".

* Yahtzee calling the UsefulNotes/VirtualBoy "Literature/TheMasqueOfTheRedDeath".

--->So that's some niggles; them aside, ''Bloodstained'' is the exceedingly rare overfunded Kickstarter project that delivers on its promises. ''[Igarashi says "Promise promise promise promise" to the imps]'' It's exactly what you wanted: ''[one of the imps jumps up and says the exact same thing: "It's exactly what I wanted!"]'' it's ''Symphony of the Night'' again, but bigger and brought up-to-date without changing the fundamental things that you liked about it, albeit with some portraits of very greasy people who ponied up extra cash dotted around the map, the occasional monster modeled after their pet dog, and a "Special Thanks" section in the credits that goes on for three fucking hours.

-->We've got [[Videogame/{{Crawl}} roguelike dungeon crawlers]], we've got [[Videogame/{{FTL}} roguelike space sims]], we've got [[MindScrew whatever the fuck]] the ''Videogame/TheBindingOfIsaac'' is. We've got [[Videogame/RogueLegacy roguelike Castlevania-style platformers]], [[Videogame/TwentyXX roguelike Megaman-style platformers]], [[Videogame/{{Spelunky}} roguelike straight platformer]] [[JustForPun on the rocks]], I hear there's even a [[VideoGame/TheConsumingShadow roguelike investigative Lovecraftian horror adventure game]] by [[ButHeSoundsHandsome some jolly talented indie developer]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial who certainly isn't]] rubbing himself through his trouser pocket as he types this... No, I don't mean ''VideoGame/DarkestDungeon''! Shut up!

* Yahtzee's thoughs on Bleeding Edge: "It's making a heroic effort to not immediately look like a copy of ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}''."

''(two Nurse Imps carries Yahtzee away from his computer on a strecher)''\\

''(one of the Hazmat Imp burns Yahtzee's desk and computer with a flame thrower while the other forcibly drags him away)''

''([[BrickJoke two Imps in hazmat suits busts into Yahtzee's room]])''\\

-->'''Yahtzee''': Gosh, the Japanese are [[WidgetSeries quirky]], aren't they? [[SchmuckBait Just look up Unit 731]]. Even [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731 Japan's atrocities]] are quirky. Hey, that's not where a human arm goes!

* [[invoked]] The ending, where Yahtzee eventually decides to recommend the game based on [[WidgetSeries its sheer randomness and weirdness]].

[[Funny/ZeroPunctuation Funny (Non-ZP)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation1 Zero Punctuation 1 (2007 - 2010)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation2 Zero Punctuation 2 (2011 - 2013)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation3 Zero Punctuation 3 (2014 - 2016)]] | '''Zero Punctuation 4 (2017 - 2019)''' | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation5 Zero Punctuation 5 (2020)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation6 Zero Punctuation 6 (2021)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation7 Zero Punctuation 7 (2022 - )]]

* Yahtzee is unclear as to what Sora's exact role is, aside from being some sort of cosmic peacekeeper, so he just assumes he must be a police officer since he mainly [[CrossesTheLineTwice beats up black people]].

* Yahtzee is unclear as to what Sora's exact role is, so he just assumes he's a police officer since he mainly [[CrossesTheLineTwice beats up black people]].

* Yahtzee admits that he was curious about ''Kingdom Hearts III'' due to people he has respect for (he will not admit whom) expressing their love for the Series. However, he doesn't believe those people when they also say that the plot is [[JigsawPuzzlePlot over-complicated]], especially without playing the other games, along with expressing his love for complicated plots.

'''Goofy:''' Mmmm... Hey, look! Isn't that a toilet over there?\\

** [cuts to Yahtzee looking exasperated, lying on the ground, while Trenchcoat guy is still talking. "Fools! Don't you realize I used up all the bog roll!?"]

* "I didn't expect to finish ''Kingdom Hearts III'' in the time I had, so I had just set out to play until I knew my opinion wasn't going to change, and that moment came at the Winnie the Pooh section. In-between two of the actual levels, it suddenly becomes important that Sora investigate why he's not on the cover of a Winnie the Pooh book; wasn't sure why he felt he ''should'' be, except [[ItsAllAboutMe his general sense of being the centre of the fucking universe]], but then we go to the Hundred Acre Wood, and it turns out everything's fine and they just wanted to hang out, although they won't let you leave until you've played some insipid colour-matching games. I'm sorry, why was this important? Is the plot seriously being held hostage by Winnie the [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Pooh?"

* WHO IS THIS SADDO MCKILLMYSELF YOU SPEAK OF

XxQuiotxX\\

-->What I don't like so much is the big, indestructible neckbeard in a trench coat and fedora who pursues you relentlessly from room to room because [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation you made the mistake of admitting that you liked an anime once and now he won't leave you alone until he's shown you his entire Blu-Ray collection]]. I get that once we've gone over the hallways enough times to start getting familiar, we need something to keep us unnerved, and he certainly does that as his massive, Pocky-inflated bulk stomps towards you, making all the walls shake, but over time, he becomes more annoying than scary, like those ''VideoGame/SilentHill4'' ghosts ''[one of them portrayed as a VideoGame/PacMan ghost]'' that keep nibbling your bum and playing the stereos too loud while you're trying to get the exploration and puzzle-solving done. Eventually, you realize that his mum told him he can't follow you into certain rooms, so I'd duck into a safe room and listen to his thundering footsteps echo through the building, not having a chuffing clue where the fucker actually is. Then I'll pop my head out and--Oh, he's right outside, boring a Licker to death with his opinions on ''LightNovel/SwordArtOnline II''; back in the safe room! This isn't creepy survival horror; this is a mailman trying to negotiate with an angry dog in a front yard.