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They're Bujold novels, so even in the middle of horrible circumstances someone is bound to make a wise crack.
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They're Bujold novels, so even in the middle of horrible circumstances someone is bound to make a wise crack.
wisecrack.
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Changed line(s) 96,97 (click to see context) from:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis is still sceptical Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three travellers are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!" ''not'' to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet! ...Oh, and the general too, of course.
to:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis is still sceptical of Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three travellers are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!" ''not'' to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet! ...Oh, and the general too, of course.
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* Penric and Nikys' other brother, Ikos, are using a pulley system to climb up a tower to sneak out of a women's only monastery. At one point, they're under a balcony when a nun glances down and sees them, two men, strapped together, crawling like a spider across the wall with some sort of rope system. Through possibly divine coincidence, Penric realizes she's the previously mentioned sister of one of their co-conspirators and tells her to ask her brother about it next time he visits. One can only imagine the conversation that ensued.
to:
* Penric and Nikys' other brother, Ikos, are using a pulley system to climb up a tower to sneak out of a women's only women-only monastery. At one point, they're under a balcony when a nun glances down and sees them, two men, strapped together, crawling like a spider across the wall with some sort of rope system. Through possibly divine coincidence, Penric realizes she's the previously mentioned sister of one of their co-conspirators and tells her to ask her brother about it next time he visits. One can only imagine the conversation that ensued.
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Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop.
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* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel council about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop.
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* Blessed Iroki, having done what his God needed him to do, gets an offer to go fishing out on the sea. As a simple fisherman, he jumps at the chance, praying there might be some good fish. He comes back awed by the whales that escorted his boat.
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Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
* After several days of captivity or hiding and following two failed escape attempts, Pen loses his patience and looses a good deal of chaos destruction on the pirates' home base such that Des has to reign in Pen rather than the other way around. This is quickly followed by his brother-in-law Adelis' arrival with the war fleet. When Pen asks how Adelis knew where to go, Adelis notes that the rising column of smoke seemed a good marker.
to:
* After several days of captivity or hiding and following two failed escape attempts, Pen loses his patience and looses a good deal of chaos destruction on the pirates' home base such that Des has to reign rein in Pen rather than the other way around. This is quickly followed by his brother-in-law Adelis' arrival with the war fleet. When Pen asks how Adelis knew where to go, Adelis notes that the rising column of smoke seemed a good marker.
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Changed line(s) 96,97 (click to see context) from:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis is still sceptical Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three travellers are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you! ''not'' to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet! ...Oh, and the general too, of course.
to:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis is still sceptical Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three travellers are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you! you!" ''not'' to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet! ...Oh, and the general too, of course.
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
* In a dark way, when a hopeless, despairing Caz pleads with the gods to spare his men, promising his service, anything, so long as his men are saved, the narration notes, "Of course, nothing happened. Well it started to rain."
to:
* In a dark way, when a hopeless, despairing Caz pleads with the gods to spare his men, promising his service, anything, so long as his men are saved, the narration notes, "Of course, nothing happened. Well Well, eventually it started to rain."
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* Ista begins to realize just what is going on with Arhys and without warning, matter of factly asks him, "Lord Arhys, how long have you been dead?" Not very funny for Lord Arhys, but amusing for the reader when they realize that Ista's spontaneous kissing of Arhys a moment earlier was practical Ista's impulsive attempt to invoke the fairy tale remedy of a royal kiss restoring life.
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* Ista begins to realize just what is going on with Arhys and without warning, matter of factly matter-of-factly asks him, "Lord Arhys, how long have you been dead?" Not very funny for Lord Arhys, but amusing for the reader when they realize that Ista's spontaneous kissing of Arhys a moment earlier was practical Ista's impulsive attempt to invoke the fairy tale remedy of a royal kiss restoring life.
Changed line(s) 79,80 (click to see context) from:
** Bonus points for the fact that Inglis already knew you can't make a great earthworm, which means somewhere along the way, a shaman did try this experiment. And since Inglis is correct that no one would want to be invested with a great worm, they must have done it for the same reasons Pen did, just to see if it could be done.
to:
** Bonus points for the fact that Inglis already knew you can't make a great earthworm, which means somewhere along the way, a shaman did try this experiment. And since Inglis is correct that no one would want to be invested with a great worm, they must have done it for the same reasons Pen did, did: just to see if it could be done.
Changed line(s) 96,97 (click to see context) from:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis still seems to doubt Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three traveler's are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!"...not to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet. Oh, and the general of course.
to:
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis is still seems to doubt sceptical Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three traveler's travellers are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!"...not you! ''not'' to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet. meet! ...Oh, and the general too, of course.
Changed line(s) 102 (click to see context) from:
* After Nikys has a divine moment from the Daughter which causes her tears of joy, she asks what Penric prayed to the Daughter for. Being that he is a man sneaking into a women-only shrine (for a good cause but still), he says that it was mostly groveling, lots and lots of groveling.
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* After Nikys has a divine moment from the Daughter which causes her tears of joy, she asks what Penric prayed to the Daughter for. Being that he is a man sneaking into a women-only shrine (for a good cause cause, but still), he says that it was mostly groveling, lots groveling. Lots and lots of groveling.
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* Penric is trying to help Inglis regain his ability to go into a trance and makes up a mantra for him, "Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Other...and let me serve another." When Inglis objects, Des suggests an alternative, "Father, Mother, Brother, Other, Sister, thwack me on the head and make me less a blister." Inglis quickly agrees to the first one.
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* Penric is trying to help Inglis regain his ability to go into a trance and makes up a mantra for him, "Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Other...Other, bless this work and let me serve another." When Inglis objects, Des suggests an alternative, "Father, "Other, Mother, Father, Brother, Other, Sister, thwack me on the my head and make me less a blister." Inglis quickly agrees to the first one.
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-->'''Inglis:''' That would be funnier if it weren't so true
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny at all
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny at all
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-->'''Inglis:''' That would be funnier if it weren't so true
true.
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny atallall.
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny at
Changed line(s) 110 (click to see context) from:
* After several days of captivity or hiding and following two failed escape attempts, Pen loses his patience and looses a good deal of chaos destruction on the pirates homebase such that Des has to reign in Pen rather than the other way around. This is quickly followed by his brother-in-law Adelis' arrival with the war fleet. When Pen asks how Adelis knew where to go, Adelis notes that the rising column of smoke seemed a good marker.
to:
* After several days of captivity or hiding and following two failed escape attempts, Pen loses his patience and looses a good deal of chaos destruction on the pirates homebase pirates' home base such that Des has to reign in Pen rather than the other way around. This is quickly followed by his brother-in-law Adelis' arrival with the war fleet. When Pen asks how Adelis knew where to go, Adelis notes that the rising column of smoke seemed a good marker.
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* Adelis [[RememberWhenYouBlewUpASun ribs Penric about the events of ''The Orphans of Raspay'']].
-->'''Adelis''': Just how long have you been here?\\
'''Penric''': About six days?\\
'''Adelis''': Oh? And the city's not yet burned to the ground? I still have the most vivid memories of my arrival in that poor pirate port. Slowing down, are you?
-->'''Adelis''': Just how long have you been here?\\
'''Penric''': About six days?\\
'''Adelis''': Oh? And the city's not yet burned to the ground? I still have the most vivid memories of my arrival in that poor pirate port. Slowing down, are you?
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Changed line(s) 115 (click to see context) from:
* Penric is pondering what he calls "induced narcolepsy", and everybody else calls "that weird thing you do to those poor rats". Somebody watching immediately asks if it indeed that weird thing he does to those poor rats.
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* Penric is pondering what he calls "induced narcolepsy", and everybody else calls "that weird thing you do to those poor rats". Somebody watching immediately asks if it indeed is that weird thing he does to those poor rats.
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* Blessed Iroki refers to Desdemona as "Miss Big Demon".
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* Tanar is asked to choose between the man she loves and the eunuch who has been her most loyal retainer, bodyguard, and confidante for years.
-->'''Des (via Penric)''': Tell me. If Adelis and Bosha were both falling over a cliff into the sea in front of you, which one would you grab?\\
'''Tanar''': ''(after a long hesitation)'' ...Can Adelis swim?
-->'''Des (via Penric)''': Tell me. If Adelis and Bosha were both falling over a cliff into the sea in front of you, which one would you grab?\\
'''Tanar''': ''(after a long hesitation)'' ...Can Adelis swim?
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* Penric, thinking about the Weirding Voice, notes that Nikys gets mad if he uses it to get their toddler to sleep. Des points out that Nikys is mostly mad that she can't do it too.
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Changed line(s) 69 (click to see context) from:
* Penric is trying to help Inglis regain his ability to go into a trance and makes up a mantra for him, "Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Other...and let me serve another." When Inglis objects, Des suggests and alternative, "Father, Mother, Brother, Other, Sister, thwack me on the head and make me less a blister." Inglis quickly agrees to the first one.
to:
* Penric is trying to help Inglis regain his ability to go into a trance and makes up a mantra for him, "Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Other...and let me serve another." When Inglis objects, Des suggests and an alternative, "Father, Mother, Brother, Other, Sister, thwack me on the head and make me less a blister." Inglis quickly agrees to the first one.
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* Penric is trying to help Inglis regain his ability to go into a trance and makes up a mantra for him, "Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Other...and let me serve another." When Inglis objects, Des suggests and alternative, "Father, Mother, Brother, Other, Sister, thwack me on the head and make me less a blister." Inglis quickly agrees to the first one.
* When Inglis tries to run off and instead finds himself trapped on a ledge halfway up a cliff with a sore head, Penric climbs up to sit with him while the others go for rope because Penric, "declines to shout religious advice from the bottom of a well."
** Then, after delivering his counsel, he makes Inglis practice his trance rhyme again.
* When Inglis tries to run off and instead finds himself trapped on a ledge halfway up a cliff with a sore head, Penric climbs up to sit with him while the others go for rope because Penric, "declines to shout religious advice from the bottom of a well."
** Then, after delivering his counsel, he makes Inglis practice his trance rhyme again.
Changed line(s) 72 (click to see context) from:
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* After Oswyl has a Father-touched moment, Penric advises him, "Do not deny the gods, and they will not deny you." Then Penric warns Oswyl about the dangers of opening up to the gods since once you let the gods in, "they're worse than mice." Straitlaced Oswyl is goggled at this casual spiritual humor.
* Nikys and Adelis have a number of sibling moments both amusing and sweet.
** When Adelis is wondering whether his burned face now looks like a goat's bottom, Nikys teases him that it has always looked like a goat's bottom to her, so she hardly notices a difference.
** After Penric makes Adelis wear his sister's dress and widow's cloak as a disguise, a cranky Adelis tells Nikys she is never to speak of this again. Nikys merely grins and promises nothing.
** When Adelis is wondering whether his burned face now looks like a goat's bottom, Nikys teases him that it has always looked like a goat's bottom to her, so she hardly notices a difference.
** After Penric makes Adelis wear his sister's dress and widow's cloak as a disguise, a cranky Adelis tells Nikys she is never to speak of this again. Nikys merely grins and promises nothing.
** Nikys describes the sorcerer as having a receding case of heatstroke and an advancing case of Penric.
!!''Mira's Last Dance''
* After Nikys and their host dress Penric up as Sora Mira, a high class courtesan traveling to private service, Penric and Nikys decide to test the disguise on Adelis to see if it will pass muster. After five minutes of "Mira" flirting with Adelis and generally making him uncomfortable, Adelis finally cottons on to Pen. Adelis is not amused, which amuses both Nikys and Penric.
* After Mira maneuvers Penric into servicing a smitten customer (the details of which are not explained except that Penric stayed fully dressed), much to Nikys' dismay, Penric is not exactly thrilled with Mira, although it does provide the funds for the final leg of their journey. The Mira portion of Des is, as a result, sulky and refuses at first to come out and help Pen gently decline the marriage proposal from the smitten customer (who is also a military leader on the look out for [[NobleFugitive Adelis]]), leading Pen to plead with her, "Sweet Mira, I'm sorry if I was insufficiently appreciative of your cleverness and I swear I'll make it up to you later, but only if there is a later." Mira finally responds as she can't stand to see Pen mess up the romantic scene.
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis still seems to doubt Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three traveler's are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!"...not to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet. Oh, and the general of course.
* After Nikys and their host dress Penric up as Sora Mira, a high class courtesan traveling to private service, Penric and Nikys decide to test the disguise on Adelis to see if it will pass muster. After five minutes of "Mira" flirting with Adelis and generally making him uncomfortable, Adelis finally cottons on to Pen. Adelis is not amused, which amuses both Nikys and Penric.
* After Mira maneuvers Penric into servicing a smitten customer (the details of which are not explained except that Penric stayed fully dressed), much to Nikys' dismay, Penric is not exactly thrilled with Mira, although it does provide the funds for the final leg of their journey. The Mira portion of Des is, as a result, sulky and refuses at first to come out and help Pen gently decline the marriage proposal from the smitten customer (who is also a military leader on the look out for [[NobleFugitive Adelis]]), leading Pen to plead with her, "Sweet Mira, I'm sorry if I was insufficiently appreciative of your cleverness and I swear I'll make it up to you later, but only if there is a later." Mira finally responds as she can't stand to see Pen mess up the romantic scene.
* When they finally reach Orbas so Adelis can accept the Duke's offer of employment, Penric's claimed status as a sorcerer, divine and Mother's physician in all but final oath is at last confirmed by the local temple, though Adelis still seems to doubt Pen's worth and status in general. What takes the cake is when the three traveler's are summoned to an audience with the Duke of Orbas, and their guide hurries forward saying excitedly, "It really is you!"...not to General Arisaydia but to Learned Divine Penric, who has quite a reputation as a scholar and whom the Duke is eager to meet. Oh, and the general of course.
* Penric begins snooping in Surakos and Tanar's apothecary room, finding a number of interesting tinctures (mostly poisons). Nikys scolds him for prying but finally breaks down and asks what he found.
* Penric and Nikys are discussing Tanar and Sura's prospects together, or rather their lack thereof due their differing ranks. Penric suggests that they could run away and start an apothecary. Tanar could mix up the products, and Surakos could poison the customers.
* Penric wonders if Nikys really wants her brother marrying a woman who could poison him if he angered her. Nikys waves this aside saying that Adelis is the sort of man who would inspire his wife to hit him over the head with a skillet, not poison him. She then notes that she had to stop hitting him with a skillet when they were twelve because he got too tall and she couldn't get a good angle.
* After Nikys has a divine moment from the Daughter which causes her tears of joy, she asks what Penric prayed to the Daughter for. Being that he is a man sneaking into a women-only shrine (for a good cause but still), he says that it was mostly groveling, lots and lots of groveling.
* Penric and Nikys are discussing Tanar and Sura's prospects together, or rather their lack thereof due their differing ranks. Penric suggests that they could run away and start an apothecary. Tanar could mix up the products, and Surakos could poison the customers.
* Penric wonders if Nikys really wants her brother marrying a woman who could poison him if he angered her. Nikys waves this aside saying that Adelis is the sort of man who would inspire his wife to hit him over the head with a skillet, not poison him. She then notes that she had to stop hitting him with a skillet when they were twelve because he got too tall and she couldn't get a good angle.
* After Nikys has a divine moment from the Daughter which causes her tears of joy, she asks what Penric prayed to the Daughter for. Being that he is a man sneaking into a women-only shrine (for a good cause but still), he says that it was mostly groveling, lots and lots of groveling.
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* When Ikos shows up to the getaway boat not with a middle-aged woman but with a young, male Penric, his friends rib him, saying that if that's his mother, there are a few things Ikos hasn't told them about his family.
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!! ''The Assassins of Thasalon''
* Penric is pondering what he calls "induced narcolepsy", and everybody else calls "that weird thing you do to those poor rats". Somebody watching immediately asks if it indeed that weird thing he does to those poor rats.
* A Saint of the Bastard arrives to remove the demon from a would-be assassin who has already used several demons to successfully kill people. The god refuses, and tells the assassin, '''"Take better care of My gift this time, child. You're going to need it."'''
* Penric is pondering what he calls "induced narcolepsy", and everybody else calls "that weird thing you do to those poor rats". Somebody watching immediately asks if it indeed that weird thing he does to those poor rats.
* A Saint of the Bastard arrives to remove the demon from a would-be assassin who has already used several demons to successfully kill people. The god refuses, and tells the assassin, '''"Take better care of My gift this time, child. You're going to need it."'''
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Changed line(s) 94,95 (click to see context) from:
* Despite initially being very uncomfortable with the idea of Desdemona has come to view her, in Penric's words, "like an invisible sister-in-law." Penric's mother-in-law, treats Des like a crony, which since Penric is perforce present at all of these conversations, leads to some interesting interactions for Pen.
to:
* Despite initially being very uncomfortable with the idea of Desdemona Desdemona, Nikys has come to view her, in Penric's words, "like an invisible sister-in-law." Penric's mother-in-law, mother-in-law treats Des like a crony, which since Penric is perforce present at all of these conversations, leads to some interesting interactions for Pen.
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* Ista is a cynical [[DeadpanSnarker]] though sometimes it's difficult to tell what is snark and what is practicality taken to its logical extreme.
to:
* Ista is a cynical [[DeadpanSnarker]] DeadpanSnarker though sometimes it's difficult to tell what is snark and what is practicality taken to its logical extreme.
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* Ista is a cynical [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarker]] though sometimes it's difficult to tell what is snark and what is practicality taken to its logical extreme.
to:
* Ista is a cynical [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarker]] [[DeadpanSnarker]] though sometimes it's difficult to tell what is snark and what is practicality taken to its logical extreme.
* On reread when the reader knows exactly what happened when Pen passed out on the road, Penric waking up and worrying about being late for his betrothal and how mad his mother will be if he lost his good suit are amusingly trivial when you consider the magnitude of his new problems.
Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
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* Penric finally convinces the divine to let him read from the forbidden book cabinet (which contains books about demons and sorcerers) by pointing out that if he's not allowed to read about his new demon, he'll have nothing to do but experiment with his new powers.
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!!''Penric's Fox''
* Penric tries to make a Great earthworm using shamanic sacrifices. When Inglis points out that an earthworm can't hold the built up spirit energy past a few generations (and Great Beasts require many generations of sacrifices) and further asks why you would even want to try, given no one wants the feeble powers a Great earthworm would supply, dutiful scholar Penric promptly tests the theory. He finds, to his disappointment, that piling more than four earthworm souls does indeed cause the recipient worm to explode.
** Bonus points for the fact that Inglis already knew you can't make a great earthworm, which means somewhere along the way, a shaman did try this experiment. And since Inglis is correct that no one would want to be invested with a great worm, they must have done it for the same reasons Pen did, just to see if it could be done.
* Penric tries to make a Great earthworm using shamanic sacrifices. When Inglis points out that an earthworm can't hold the built up spirit energy past a few generations (and Great Beasts require many generations of sacrifices) and further asks why you would even want to try, given no one wants the feeble powers a Great earthworm would supply, dutiful scholar Penric promptly tests the theory. He finds, to his disappointment, that piling more than four earthworm souls does indeed cause the recipient worm to explode.
** Bonus points for the fact that Inglis already knew you can't make a great earthworm, which means somewhere along the way, a shaman did try this experiment. And since Inglis is correct that no one would want to be invested with a great worm, they must have done it for the same reasons Pen did, just to see if it could be done.
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* Ever the rational scholar, when Penric analyzes the political circumstances that led to Adelis being blinded (he was too successful a general so the authorities framed him for treason rather than risk having him revolt for real), he remarks that they're worse than just malicious; they're ''inefficient''.
* Penric takes time to give a thoughtful sermon and his own observations on the failings of the local government to a slippery spy, who entirely misses the point and calls Penric a hedge sorcerer. Pen is just leaving the hapless, paralyzed spy when he sticks his head back in to retort, "I'm not a hedge sorcerer, and your politics are stupid!"
* Penric takes time to give a thoughtful sermon and his own observations on the failings of the local government to a slippery spy, who entirely misses the point and calls Penric a hedge sorcerer. Pen is just leaving the hapless, paralyzed spy when he sticks his head back in to retort, "I'm not a hedge sorcerer, and your politics are stupid!"
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Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop. "Hello, boys," Palli said smoothly, "I have a little task for you."
to:
* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop. "Hello,
-->"Hello, boys," Palli said smoothly, "I have a little task for you."
-->"Hello, boys," Palli said smoothly, "I have a little task for you."
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* Palli inquires about some of the wilder rumors about Dondo's death.
-->'''Palli:''' And delightful as the picture is, somehow I don't really think he was carried off bodily by a flight of demons with blazing wings called down by the Royesse Iselle's prayers.
* Palli is describing Cazaril's incorruptibility and lists his "utter indifference to wealth," to which Caz replies in all earnestness that he quite likes wealth and just dresses badly.
-->'''Palli:''' And delightful as the picture is, somehow I don't really think he was carried off bodily by a flight of demons with blazing wings called down by the Royesse Iselle's prayers.
* Palli is describing Cazaril's incorruptibility and lists his "utter indifference to wealth," to which Caz replies in all earnestness that he quite likes wealth and just dresses badly.
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* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop. Guess who gets escort duty?
to:
* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop. Guess who gets escort duty?"Hello, boys," Palli said smoothly, "I have a little task for you."
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* In a dark way, when a hopeless, despairing Caz pleads with the gods to spare his men, promising his service, anything, so long as his men are saved, the narration notes, "Of course, nothing happened. Well it started to rain."
* Caz, Palli and Iselle have just had a secret counsel about Caz's mission to help Iselle wrest control back from the Chancellor, but Caz still needs an escort to protect him. Palli opens the door to find two of his trusty but insatiably curious lieutenants who were guarding the door trying to eavesdrop. Guess who gets escort duty?
* Before Caz sets out on his cross-country mission which will take him through a mountain pass, Betriz gives him a fluffy cap with ear flaps...that was designed for a woman. Caz's soldier escort finds it amusing. Some chapters later as they go through the mountains, Caz's ears are warm while the soldiers are freezing.
* Before Caz sets out on his cross-country mission which will take him through a mountain pass, Betriz gives him a fluffy cap with ear flaps...that was designed for a woman. Caz's soldier escort finds it amusing. Some chapters later as they go through the mountains, Caz's ears are warm while the soldiers are freezing.
* Ista is a cynical [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarker]] though sometimes it's difficult to tell what is snark and what is practicality taken to its logical extreme.
** When Arhys dramatically rescues Ista, she calmly thanks him and proceeds to care for the messy, oozing saddle sores on her legs, which she describes as "minor injuries." When Arhys asks what she would consider a serious injury, she points to a decapitated soldier and says, "That."
** "Prayer is a dangerous business. I think it should be outlawed."
** When Arhys dramatically rescues Ista, she calmly thanks him and proceeds to care for the messy, oozing saddle sores on her legs, which she describes as "minor injuries." When Arhys asks what she would consider a serious injury, she points to a decapitated soldier and says, "That."
** "Prayer is a dangerous business. I think it should be outlawed."
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!!''Penric's Mission''
* Penric is introducing Adelis and Nikys to Des for the first time and explaining a bit about demons. When they ask how one can tell if a demon has ascended, Penric mentions erratic behavior as a sign. This is after the Arisaydia siblings have seen Pen take down an armed troop by waving his hands, dash out of the room in search of vermin to drain his uphill magic cost and speak as another individual (Des using Pen's voice). They're not reassured.
* Desdemona, always aware of physical attractiveness, makes Penric promise to fix Adelis' eyebrows.
* After the big climactic altercation at the end, an immobile Penric (the attacking sorcerer tried to literally tear his heart apart and Pen is still weak from healing) begins lecturing the sorcerer on his abuse of his demon (since using magic to kill Pen would have sent the demon back to the Bastard's hell). The sorcerer is flabbergasted and like most people of Penric's brief acquaintances, assumes Pen is slightly insane.
* During his lecture, Penric suggests that the sorcerer apologize to his demon and treat it with more respect by giving it a nice name. Desdemona's suggestions are inaudible to the reader, but Penric's responses, "That's obscene," and "No, we're not naming it after me," suggest her usual wit was at play.
!!''The Prisoner of Limnos''
* Penric and Nikys' other brother, Ikos, are using a pulley system to climb up a tower to sneak out of a women's only monastery. At one point, they're under a balcony when a nun glances down and sees them, two men, strapped together, crawling like a spider across the wall with some sort of rope system. Through possibly divine coincidence, Penric realizes she's the previously mentioned sister of one of their co-conspirators and tells her to ask her brother about it next time he visits. One can only imagine the conversation that ensued.
* Poor Desdemona is terrified of heights and gets the demon equivalent of nausea. Penric finally relents and tells her she may have one sea gull. Cue a nearby exploding sea gull. Later the narration notes that Des was crying for another sea gull.
* Ikos is at first reluctant to take Penric onto his boat, having deduced he is a sorcerer. When Penric points out that he is courting Ikos' sister, Ikos resignedly agrees because his mother and sister would probably be cranky if he left Pen on the island to be captured.
!!''The Orphans of Raspay''
* Penric's first escape attempt involves freeing a crew of sailors. However, he has to temporarily separate from them to retrieve the titular orphans, and when he gets to the dock, he finds that they are leaving without him, having realized Pen is a sorcerer and ascribing to the usual superstitions. Pen's ensuing stream of Wealdean invective is taken by both sailors and orphans as arcane sorcerous curses.
* After several days of captivity or hiding and following two failed escape attempts, Pen loses his patience and looses a good deal of chaos destruction on the pirates homebase such that Des has to reign in Pen rather than the other way around. This is quickly followed by his brother-in-law Adelis' arrival with the war fleet. When Pen asks how Adelis knew where to go, Adelis notes that the rising column of smoke seemed a good marker.
* Later, Adelis is explaining the terms of the negotiation to Penric, namely that in exchange for the town's cooperation and cessation of piratical activities, he will not destroy the town (which Adelis had no intention of doing anyway) and he will not grant his crew shore-leave (which would have amounted to the same thing). And then he gets to the part about Penric, namely the exchange of a large amount of money, which horrifies Pen as he assumes it was for reparations for the damage he caused. At this point Adelis corrects him that no, it's amount of money the townspeople paid ''Adelis'' not to leave Penric on the island. Des is amused.
* Despite initially being very uncomfortable with the idea of Desdemona has come to view her, in Penric's words, "like an invisible sister-in-law." Penric's mother-in-law, treats Des like a crony, which since Penric is perforce present at all of these conversations, leads to some interesting interactions for Pen.
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Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
--->"As the Fox has done in Ibra? Very wise, Royina... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Who shall you appoint to replace [dy Jironal]?]] I have a few ideas-"
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--->"As the Fox has done in Ibra? Very wise, Royina... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Who shall you appoint to replace [dy Jironal]?]] I have a few ideas-"ideas--"
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Ferda''': This rough camp is no place for your repose -
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--> '''Ferda''': This rough camp is no place for your repose - repose--
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--> '''Ferda''': Royina, I -
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--> '''Ferda''': Royina, I -I--
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'''Moment Subpages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
----
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Changed line(s) 10,11 (click to see context) from:
* After being [[spoiler: run through the belly with the Chancellor's sword]], Cazaril calmly asks to see Betriz before they remove it.
--> "You can't just sit there with [[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]!"
--> "You can't just sit there with [[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]!"
to:
* After being [[spoiler: run through the belly with the Chancellor's sword]], sword, Cazaril calmly asks to see Betriz before they remove it.
--> "You can't just sit there with[[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]!"gut!"
--> "You can't just sit there with
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They're Bujold novels, so even in the middle of horrible circumstances someone is bound to make a wise crack.
!!''The Curse of Chalion''
* Dondo dy Jironal's funeral. The Daughter of Spring made it clear [[SarcasmMode how well he served her]] as the Holy General of her order (it involved bird excrement), and it went downhill from there.
* Umegat discussing attempts at faking Death Miracles.
--> "We uncovered quite a number of ingenious fakes — usually poison, though the, ah, dimmer murderers sometimes tried cruder methods. I had to explain to them that the Bastard does not ever execute unrepentant sinners with a dirk, nor a large hammer."
* "Rise and ride, Captain Sunshine!"
* The gods' way of informing Palli he is ''not'' to be Iselle's ambassador: "Pray for guidance, you said. In my sleep, if you please. I was killed five times in my dreams last night, I'll have you know. Riding somewhere. Each time more horribly. In the last dream, my horses ate me."
* After being [[spoiler: run through the belly with the Chancellor's sword]], Cazaril calmly asks to see Betriz before they remove it.
--> "You can't just sit there with [[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]!"
--> (reasonably) "Well, I surely cannot ''move.''"
* Caz gets his consciousness temporarily expanded by a religious experience, and starts finding every single thing about the world intensely fascinating. At one point, he reads Betriz a poem he's written in honour of her nose, and can't understand why she doesn't seem to find it flattering.
** Palli offers the explanation that men write poems to the parts of ladies that they want to bring closer and suggests lips as an alternative.
--->"In that case, you'd think men would write more poems to ladies' private parts."\\
"The ladies [[PervertRevengeMode would hit us.]]"
* Iselle cuts through Caz's objection to her betrothing her twenty year old lady-in-waiting to a broken-down greybeard such as himself thus:
-->"I'm not sacrificing her to you as a reward for your loyalty. I'm bestowing you on her as a reward for ''her'' loyalty. So there."
** And when he tries to point out that he is also [[UnableToSupportAWife just plain broke]].
--->"I plan to make the chancellorship a salaried position."
--->"As the Fox has done in Ibra? Very wise, Royina... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Who shall you appoint to replace [dy Jironal]?]] I have a few ideas-"
--->"''Caz''aril!"
!!''Paladin Of Souls''
* Liss' complete inability to do a Lady's hair properly, but when prompted she rattles off a dozen ways to do up a horse's mane.
* Having just been rescued after two days and a hundred miles of uncomfortable captivity, Ista has some simple requests:
--> '''Ista''': I want... a piece of bread and a bedroll.
--> '''Ferda''': This rough camp is no place for your repose -
--> '''Ista''': Any bread. Any bedroll.
--> '''Ferda''': There may be some women I can find for your attendants, but they are not what you are used to -
--> '''Ista''': Your bedroll would do.
--> '''Ferda''': Royina, I -
--> '''Ista''': If you do not give me a bedroll at once, I am going to sit down on the ground right here and start to cry. Now.
* "I do not have the energy to stand up, or get to my feet for that matter."
!!''The Hallowed Hunt''
* One of Prince Boleso's retainers calls Learned Hallana, a sorceress-divine of the Bastard, a "fat sow." Her response? She spells him to make him think he himself is a pig. Ingrey's retainer is at a loss, while Ingrey finds it hilarious:
--> “My lord, what should we do with him?”
--> “Watch over him. See he comes to no harm till his lesson passes off.”
--> “Yes, my lord. Um... anything else?”
--> “You could feed him some bran mash.”
!!''Penric's Demon''
* The litany of disasters Desdemona unleashes on Rusillin and Clee, including setting their hair on fire, having their trousers drop around their ankles after their belts unbuckle, culminating in their rowboat disintegrating underneath them as they try to chase Penric out into the lake, while behind them their castle catches fire.
--> '''Narration:''' At that point, it was really ''redundant'' for Rusillin's oar blade to snap off as he dug it into the water.
!!''Penric and the Shaman''
* The seminary joke about the Son's harvest of souls including those whose last words were "Ho, lads! Hold my ale and watch this!"
-->'''Inglis:''' That would be funnier if it weren't so true
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny at all
----
!!''The Curse of Chalion''
* Dondo dy Jironal's funeral. The Daughter of Spring made it clear [[SarcasmMode how well he served her]] as the Holy General of her order (it involved bird excrement), and it went downhill from there.
* Umegat discussing attempts at faking Death Miracles.
--> "We uncovered quite a number of ingenious fakes — usually poison, though the, ah, dimmer murderers sometimes tried cruder methods. I had to explain to them that the Bastard does not ever execute unrepentant sinners with a dirk, nor a large hammer."
* "Rise and ride, Captain Sunshine!"
* The gods' way of informing Palli he is ''not'' to be Iselle's ambassador: "Pray for guidance, you said. In my sleep, if you please. I was killed five times in my dreams last night, I'll have you know. Riding somewhere. Each time more horribly. In the last dream, my horses ate me."
* After being [[spoiler: run through the belly with the Chancellor's sword]], Cazaril calmly asks to see Betriz before they remove it.
--> "You can't just sit there with [[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]!"
--> (reasonably) "Well, I surely cannot ''move.''"
* Caz gets his consciousness temporarily expanded by a religious experience, and starts finding every single thing about the world intensely fascinating. At one point, he reads Betriz a poem he's written in honour of her nose, and can't understand why she doesn't seem to find it flattering.
** Palli offers the explanation that men write poems to the parts of ladies that they want to bring closer and suggests lips as an alternative.
--->"In that case, you'd think men would write more poems to ladies' private parts."\\
"The ladies [[PervertRevengeMode would hit us.]]"
* Iselle cuts through Caz's objection to her betrothing her twenty year old lady-in-waiting to a broken-down greybeard such as himself thus:
-->"I'm not sacrificing her to you as a reward for your loyalty. I'm bestowing you on her as a reward for ''her'' loyalty. So there."
** And when he tries to point out that he is also [[UnableToSupportAWife just plain broke]].
--->"I plan to make the chancellorship a salaried position."
--->"As the Fox has done in Ibra? Very wise, Royina... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Who shall you appoint to replace [dy Jironal]?]] I have a few ideas-"
--->"''Caz''aril!"
!!''Paladin Of Souls''
* Liss' complete inability to do a Lady's hair properly, but when prompted she rattles off a dozen ways to do up a horse's mane.
* Having just been rescued after two days and a hundred miles of uncomfortable captivity, Ista has some simple requests:
--> '''Ista''': I want... a piece of bread and a bedroll.
--> '''Ferda''': This rough camp is no place for your repose -
--> '''Ista''': Any bread. Any bedroll.
--> '''Ferda''': There may be some women I can find for your attendants, but they are not what you are used to -
--> '''Ista''': Your bedroll would do.
--> '''Ferda''': Royina, I -
--> '''Ista''': If you do not give me a bedroll at once, I am going to sit down on the ground right here and start to cry. Now.
* "I do not have the energy to stand up, or get to my feet for that matter."
!!''The Hallowed Hunt''
* One of Prince Boleso's retainers calls Learned Hallana, a sorceress-divine of the Bastard, a "fat sow." Her response? She spells him to make him think he himself is a pig. Ingrey's retainer is at a loss, while Ingrey finds it hilarious:
--> “My lord, what should we do with him?”
--> “Watch over him. See he comes to no harm till his lesson passes off.”
--> “Yes, my lord. Um... anything else?”
--> “You could feed him some bran mash.”
!!''Penric's Demon''
* The litany of disasters Desdemona unleashes on Rusillin and Clee, including setting their hair on fire, having their trousers drop around their ankles after their belts unbuckle, culminating in their rowboat disintegrating underneath them as they try to chase Penric out into the lake, while behind them their castle catches fire.
--> '''Narration:''' At that point, it was really ''redundant'' for Rusillin's oar blade to snap off as he dug it into the water.
!!''Penric and the Shaman''
* The seminary joke about the Son's harvest of souls including those whose last words were "Ho, lads! Hold my ale and watch this!"
-->'''Inglis:''' That would be funnier if it weren't so true
-->'''Penric:''' If it were not true, it wouldn't be funny at all
----
