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'''Gordon: Waht I was about to say, sir.

to:

'''Gordon: Waht '''Gordon''': That's what I was about to say, sir.



* "West, not every situation calls for your patented approach of 'shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more, and then, when everybody's dead, try to ask a question or two'."

Added DiffLines:

* President Grant comes into the room to find West pointing a gun at Gordon (and he just shot it at the roof) and Gordon in disguise as Grant, a disguise which includes an airbag to make him match Grant's more portly figure. Grant proceeds to take both men down a peg.
-->'''Grant''': You're clever, Gordon. One day it's going to get you killed. \\
'''West''': Like today. \\
'''Grant''': And you, West, not every situation calls for your patented approach of shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more, and then when everybody's dead try to ask a question or two. Working together will be good for both of you. \\
'''West''' and '''Gordon''': Together? Sir, [[IWorkAlone I work]]-- \\
'''Grant''': You '''work''' the way your Commander-in-Chief '''tells''' you to work. \\
'''West''': Exactly. \\
'''Gordon: Waht I was about to say, sir.


* "I learned that from a China man!" ''([[GoodOldFisticuffs Whacks henchman with a shovel]])'' "I just made that up."

to:

* "I learned that from a China man!" ''([[GoodOldFisticuffs Whacks [[GoodOldFisticuffs West whacks the henchman in the face with a shovel]])'' shovel]] and quips "I just made that up."


* When Gordon is facing execution from Loveless, he gives an impassioned request the he be shot in "the heart that loved this country so much", knowing that he's [[LuckilyMyShieldWillProtectMe wearing one of his bullet-proof vests]]. Loveless's response?

to:

* When Gordon is facing execution from Loveless, he gives an impassioned request the that he be shot in "the heart that loved this country so much", knowing that he's [[LuckilyMyShieldWillProtectMe wearing one of his bullet-proof vests]]. Loveless's response?


-->'''Gordon''': ...And that would be my belt buckle.

to:

-->'''Gordon''': ... And that would be my belt buckle.



-->'''West''': ''({{beat}})'' [[DeadpanSnarker ...let's just get some shutass]].

to:

-->'''West''': ''({{beat}})'' [[DeadpanSnarker ... let's just get some shutass]].



-->'''Gordon''': ...oh look. My auxiliary toolkit. I'd forgotten all about it, it must've slipped out of my [[BrickJoke pocket]].

to:

-->'''Gordon''': ... oh look. My auxiliary toolkit. I'd forgotten all about it, it must've slipped out of my [[BrickJoke pocket]].



-->'''Gordon''': ...that's the first place Loveless would've looked.

to:

-->'''Gordon''': ... that's the first place Loveless would've looked.



-->'''West''': ''...Africa'', we use drums to communicate between villages. And as you can see by this gal, we could communicate all the way to Baton Rouge. Hell, on a clear night, we might even get Galveston! All I was saying to the gal, was... "Hi... how you doing, my name's Jim... how's your momma..." Then there was that whole "redneck" comment. And I get the feeling y'all took that negatively. But let's break down that word, "redneck": First word, ''red''. Color of passion, fire, power. Second word, neck... ''neck''...

to:

-->'''West''': ''... Africa'', we use drums to communicate between villages. And as you can see by this gal, we could communicate all the way to Baton Rouge. Hell, on a clear night, we might even get Galveston! All I was saying to the gal, was... "Hi... how you doing, my name's Jim... how's your momma..." Then there was that whole "redneck" comment. And I get the feeling y'all took that negatively. But let's break down that word, "redneck": First word, ''red''. Color of passion, fire, power. Second word, neck... ''neck''...



-->'''West''': ...okay, I can't think of anything for neck right now, but without it y'all still got red, and that's something to be proud of. And to be honest -- the whole slavery thing -- I don't know what the big deal is anyway. I mean -- ''[points at random southerner]'' -- are you really gonna get your big fat ass up out of bed and pick your own damn cotton?

to:

-->'''West''': ... okay, I can't think of anything for neck right now, but without it y'all still got red, and that's something to be proud of. And to be honest -- the whole slavery thing -- I don't know what the big deal is anyway. I mean -- ''[points at random southerner]'' -- are you really gonna get your big fat ass up out of bed and pick your own damn cotton?



-->'''West''': ...alright, now hold on, hold ''on''. I stand before you as a man realizing that I have done something wrong. And I'd like to take a minute to make that right. ''[To woman]'' Will you marry me?

to:

-->'''West''': ... alright, now hold on, hold ''on''. I stand before you as a man realizing that I have done something wrong. And I'd like to take a minute to make that right. ''[To woman]'' Will you marry me?



'''Jim''': ...oh...shit; Gordon only gave me one; so you mind if I get him to--\\

to:

'''Jim''': ...oh... oh... shit; Gordon only gave me one; so you mind if I get him to--\\



--> '''West''': [[OhCrap ...No!]]

to:

--> '''West''': [[OhCrap ... No!]]


-->'''West''': Gordon, when you're telling this story to your grandkids you make sure that you leave this part out.

to:

-->'''West''': [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Gordon, when you're telling this story to your grandkids you make sure that you leave this part out.]]


-->'''Loveless:''' [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy Shoot him in the head.]]

to:

-->'''Loveless:''' [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy Shoot him in the head.]]


-->'''Gordon:''' Yes, he's an idiot.

to:

-->'''Gordon:''' Yes, he's an idiot.idiot.
* When Gordon is facing execution from Loveless, he gives an impassioned request the he be shot in "the heart that loved this country so much", knowing that he's [[LuckilyMyShieldWillProtectMe wearing one of his bullet-proof vests]]. Loveless's response?
-->'''Loveless:''' [[DangerouslyGenreSavvy Shoot him in the head.]]
-->'''Gordon:''' [[DidntSeeThatComing Damn.]]

Added DiffLines:

** Moments later, some PercussiveMaintenance has caused West's collar - and his head along with it - to become attracted to...
-->'''Gordon''': ...And that would be my belt buckle.
-->'''West''': Gordon, when you're telling this story to your grandkids you make sure that you leave this part out.
-->'''Gordon''': Don't worry.


* West trying to fight the cyborg with the metal cranium.
--> ''Punches him in the face.''
--> ''Clang!''
--> ''Punches him in the gut.''
--> ''Clang!''
--> ''Kicks him in the crotch.''
--> ''[[NoSell Jangle!]]''
--> '''West''': [[OhCrap No?!]]

to:

* West trying to fight the cyborg with the metal cranium.
--> ''Punches
cranium. He punches him in the face.''
--> ''Clang!''
--> ''Punches
face, which only hurts his hand. He punches him in the gut.''
--> ''Clang!''
--> ''Kicks
gut, but to no avail. He then kicks him in the crotch.''
--> ''[[NoSell Jangle!]]''
crotch, [[NoSell which only jangles.]]
--> '''West''': [[OhCrap No?!]][[OhCrap ...No!]]


* "I learned that from a China man!" ''([[GoodOldFisticuffs Whacks him with a shovel]])'' "I just made that up."

to:

* "I learned that from a China man!" ''([[GoodOldFisticuffs Whacks him henchman with a shovel]])'' "I just made that up."



--> '''Loveless''': *[[MaleGaze staring at her butt]]* As do I, Munitia. As do I.

to:

--> '''Loveless''': *[[MaleGaze staring at her butt]]* As do I, Munitia. As do I.I.
* Rita, after seeing Jim West in action for the first time:
-->'''Rita:''' He's so impetuous!
-->'''Gordon:''' Yes, he's an idiot.


* One of the cyborgs that West runs into on the giant spider turns out to have blades instead of hands. He pops the first blade out, and West shows him the knife that that Gordon "took the liberty of installing" in his boot while he was asleep. Knife Guy shows him the other one, and when West tries to duck and run, he briefly shows off with them. West... settles for waggling his boot threateningly.

to:

* One of the cyborgs that West runs into on the giant spider turns out to have blades instead of hands. He pops hands.
-->'''Jim''': Oh, so you're
the first one to give me my whoopin', huh?\\
'''Blade Goon''': ''(brandishes
blade out, and West shows him the knife that that out of his right hand)''\\
'''Jim''': ''(scoff)'' Hell, I got one of those! ''(stomps his foot to show off his boot-blade)''\\
'''Blade Goon''': ''(brandishes ''other'' blade out of his left hand)''\\
'''Jim''': ...oh...shit;
Gordon "took the liberty of installing" in his boot while he was asleep. Knife Guy shows only gave me one; so you mind if I get him the other one, and when West tries to duck and run, he briefly shows off with them. West... settles for waggling his boot threateningly.to--\\
'''Blade Goon''': ''(swings blades around wildly)''\\
'''Jim''': ''(wiggles boot-blade around threateningly)''

Added DiffLines:

* When the girl at the beginning shoves West's underwear in a knothole and West says "What are you doing? [[DoubleEntendre You can't just go ramming a man's personal things into some hole like that!]]"

Added DiffLines:

** "You're in for a big surprise when you get this one in the saddle."


--> '''Loveless''': *[[MaleGaze staring at her butt]]* As do I, Munitia. As do I.
* WackyAmericansHaveWackyNames: Artemus Gordon and Arliss Loveless.

to:

--> '''Loveless''': *[[MaleGaze staring at her butt]]* As do I, Munitia. As do I.
* WackyAmericansHaveWackyNames: Artemus Gordon and Arliss Loveless.
I.

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