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Simple Staff has been disambiguated
Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** When they're both heading towards the docks where Thomas seems to be hiding, and Elaine takes out the long chain she uses as a magic focus instead of Harry's SimpleStaff:
to:
** When they're both heading towards the docks where Thomas seems to be hiding, and Elaine takes out the long chain she uses as a magic focus instead of Harry's SimpleStaff:staff:
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Thomas:''' ''(after attacking Harry from behhind)'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
to:
--> '''Thomas:''' ''(after attacking Harry from behhind)'' behind)'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
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Deleted line(s) 113,116 (click to see context) :
* Upon finding Marcone and Ms. Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap and a few buttons undone on his shirt -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, sounding pleased. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, sounding pleased. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
Added DiffLines:
* Upon finding Marcone and Ms. Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap and a few buttons undone on his shirt -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, his tone pleasant. Helen made no move to stir from where she was. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, his tone pleasant. Helen made no move to stir from where she was. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1,53 (click to see context) from:
* "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Bowling for Vampires!"
** The best part? The Raiths [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laugh and applaud]]. Harry is [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame disturbed]].
* Harry telling [[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]] to pick on someone her own size when she has [[TheBigGuy Hendricks]] in an arm lock.
* Carlos Ramirez, who has for the last several books been bragging about his [[TheCasanova popularity with the ladies]], meets AffablyEvil [[TheVamp sex vampiress]] Lara Raith, who immediately turns to Dresden and exclaims: "A virgin! Is he a ''present''?" And of course, Harry being Harry, he makes increasingly hilarious comments about it through the rest of the scene.
** "Ramirez loved women. Ramirez never shut up about women. Well, he never shut up about anything in general."
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
** Similarly, basically everything Ramirez says, ever.
** Especially his reaction to his wound.
--->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a ''knife'' in my leg. When did ''that'' happen?\\
'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\\
'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
** Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] isn't bad, for a virgin.
* Then there's Thomas's solution to the problem of his vampire hunger. Harry has spent two books worrying that he's gone back to hunting and victimizing women... [[spoiler:instead, he's started a high-end beauty salon and has been posing as a gay French hairdresser.]] Brilliant ''and'' comedy gold.
* But before Harry learns the details, he has to look around Thomas's apartment. Security comes to have a little talk with him. Which is when he realizes [[FauxYay the backup plan]].
--> I was going to ''kill'' Thomas.
** "An NBA-sized gay burglar who works with a dog?"
* Murphy and the rest of SI are determined to make sure he never lives it down, either...
-->'''Murph:''' You're going syrupy on me, Dresden.\\
'''Harry:''' If it rains, I'll melt.\\
'''Murph:''' It's to be expected. What with how you're gay and all now.\\
'''Harry:''' I'm wh... Oh. [[FauxYay Thomas's apartment]]. Hell's bells, you cops have a fast grapevine.\\
'''Murph:''' Yeah. Rawlins heard it at the coffee machine and he just had to call me up and tell me all about you and your boyfriend getting into a fight. He asked me if I should get you the sound track to ''Les Miserables'' or ''Phantom of the Opera'' for Christmas this year. Varetti and Farrel got a deal on track lighting from Malone's brother-in-law.\\
'''Harry:''' Don't you people have lives?... What are ''you'' getting me?\\
'''Murph:''' Stallings and I found an autographed picture of Julie Newmar on [=eBay.=]\\
'''Harry:''' You guys are never going to let go of this one, are you?\\
'''Murph:''' We're cops. Of course not.
** The real payoff from that incident comes a little later, when Harry and Murph are trying to get into see the proprietress of a high-class brothel, only to discover that Harry unknowingly possesses a lifetime membership:
--->'''Murph:''' What's that all about?\\
'''Harry:''' Don't ask me. I'm gay now.
** The previous quote, a CMOF for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his CMOF:
---> '''Marcone:''' I am under no illusions about your fondness for myself and my business. I regard it as a preventative measure. In my judgment, my buildings are considerably less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.
*** Swiftly followed by Harry rather childishly saying that [[NeverLiveItDown it only happened once.]]
* This gem, from Johnny Marcone:
-->'''Marcone:''' Dresden. It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners.
* Which he said in response to Dresden:
-->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
* During an earlier scene in that office, Harry gets shocked speechless. Marcone... simply smiles.
-->'''Demeter:''' It isn't polite to gloat.\\
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man]], you'd appreciate how rare this is.
* Harry's 'revenge' on Thomas for leaving him out of the loop. He deliberately fails to stop Thomas from setting off a ward that knocks him ass-over-end into a pile of trash.
--> '''Harry:''' Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should have ''told you about a potentially dangerous situation'', huh? I mean, that would have been polite of me to warn you, right? And sensible. And intelligent. And respectful. And--\\
'''Thomas:''' I get it, I get it. ''[he then smears garbage all over Harry's hands]''
* The first meeting with Thomas, after Harry finally tracks him down.
--> '''Thomas:''' ''[after attacking Harry]'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
'''Harry:''' Now what the hell is ''that'' supposed to mean?
* Lara after Harry wards her off with his four years of... fidelity.
-->"Still... A man like you and it's been four ''years''..." She shook her head. "I have enormous personal respect for you, wizard. But that's just... sad."
** Earlier, a passing remark suggested that ''Butters'' has gotten laid more recently than Harry has.
*** The latter happens during a scene where Molly does object reading on a corpse and, uh, [[DirtyMindReading picks up something]]. Harry then sulks, commenting on how he never gets something that "nice" during a psychic investigation.
* Harry's snark is out in full force for this book. "Right. Okay, here's the plan. We follow all the other flammable people out of the building before we burn to death."
* Marcone telling Harry to say please. And then pretty please. With a cherry on top. Once he asks Harry to say pretty please with a cherry on top, Harry tells him "fuck you" and hangs up.
* A passing mention of Molly's early days as an apprentice:
** The best part? The Raiths [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laugh and applaud]]. Harry is [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame disturbed]].
* Harry telling [[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]] to pick on someone her own size when she has [[TheBigGuy Hendricks]] in an arm lock.
* Carlos Ramirez, who has for the last several books been bragging about his [[TheCasanova popularity with the ladies]], meets AffablyEvil [[TheVamp sex vampiress]] Lara Raith, who immediately turns to Dresden and exclaims: "A virgin! Is he a ''present''?" And of course, Harry being Harry, he makes increasingly hilarious comments about it through the rest of the scene.
** "Ramirez loved women. Ramirez never shut up about women. Well, he never shut up about anything in general."
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
** Similarly, basically everything Ramirez says, ever.
** Especially his reaction to his wound.
--->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a ''knife'' in my leg. When did ''that'' happen?\\
'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\\
'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
** Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] isn't bad, for a virgin.
* Then there's Thomas's solution to the problem of his vampire hunger. Harry has spent two books worrying that he's gone back to hunting and victimizing women... [[spoiler:instead, he's started a high-end beauty salon and has been posing as a gay French hairdresser.]] Brilliant ''and'' comedy gold.
* But before Harry learns the details, he has to look around Thomas's apartment. Security comes to have a little talk with him. Which is when he realizes [[FauxYay the backup plan]].
--> I was going to ''kill'' Thomas.
** "An NBA-sized gay burglar who works with a dog?"
* Murphy and the rest of SI are determined to make sure he never lives it down, either...
-->'''Murph:''' You're going syrupy on me, Dresden.\\
'''Harry:''' If it rains, I'll melt.\\
'''Murph:''' It's to be expected. What with how you're gay and all now.\\
'''Harry:''' I'm wh... Oh. [[FauxYay Thomas's apartment]]. Hell's bells, you cops have a fast grapevine.\\
'''Murph:''' Yeah. Rawlins heard it at the coffee machine and he just had to call me up and tell me all about you and your boyfriend getting into a fight. He asked me if I should get you the sound track to ''Les Miserables'' or ''Phantom of the Opera'' for Christmas this year. Varetti and Farrel got a deal on track lighting from Malone's brother-in-law.\\
'''Harry:''' Don't you people have lives?... What are ''you'' getting me?\\
'''Murph:''' Stallings and I found an autographed picture of Julie Newmar on [=eBay.=]\\
'''Harry:''' You guys are never going to let go of this one, are you?\\
'''Murph:''' We're cops. Of course not.
** The real payoff from that incident comes a little later, when Harry and Murph are trying to get into see the proprietress of a high-class brothel, only to discover that Harry unknowingly possesses a lifetime membership:
--->'''Murph:''' What's that all about?\\
'''Harry:''' Don't ask me. I'm gay now.
** The previous quote, a CMOF for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his CMOF:
---> '''Marcone:''' I am under no illusions about your fondness for myself and my business. I regard it as a preventative measure. In my judgment, my buildings are considerably less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.
*** Swiftly followed by Harry rather childishly saying that [[NeverLiveItDown it only happened once.]]
* This gem, from Johnny Marcone:
-->'''Marcone:''' Dresden. It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners.
* Which he said in response to Dresden:
-->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
* During an earlier scene in that office, Harry gets shocked speechless. Marcone... simply smiles.
-->'''Demeter:''' It isn't polite to gloat.\\
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man]], you'd appreciate how rare this is.
* Harry's 'revenge' on Thomas for leaving him out of the loop. He deliberately fails to stop Thomas from setting off a ward that knocks him ass-over-end into a pile of trash.
--> '''Harry:''' Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should have ''told you about a potentially dangerous situation'', huh? I mean, that would have been polite of me to warn you, right? And sensible. And intelligent. And respectful. And--\\
'''Thomas:''' I get it, I get it. ''[he then smears garbage all over Harry's hands]''
* The first meeting with Thomas, after Harry finally tracks him down.
--> '''Thomas:''' ''[after attacking Harry]'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
'''Harry:''' Now what the hell is ''that'' supposed to mean?
* Lara after Harry wards her off with his four years of... fidelity.
-->"Still... A man like you and it's been four ''years''..." She shook her head. "I have enormous personal respect for you, wizard. But that's just... sad."
** Earlier, a passing remark suggested that ''Butters'' has gotten laid more recently than Harry has.
*** The latter happens during a scene where Molly does object reading on a corpse and, uh, [[DirtyMindReading picks up something]]. Harry then sulks, commenting on how he never gets something that "nice" during a psychic investigation.
* Harry's snark is out in full force for this book. "Right. Okay, here's the plan. We follow all the other flammable people out of the building before we burn to death."
* Marcone telling Harry to say please. And then pretty please. With a cherry on top. Once he asks Harry to say pretty please with a cherry on top, Harry tells him "fuck you" and hangs up.
* A passing mention of Molly's early days as an apprentice:
to:
** The best part? The Raiths [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laugh and applaud]]. Harry is [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame disturbed]].
* Harry telling [[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]] to pick on someone her own size when she has [[TheBigGuy Hendricks]] in an arm lock.
* Carlos Ramirez, who has
** "Ramirez loved women. Ramirez never shut up about women. Well, he never shut up about anything in general."
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
** Similarly, basically everything Ramirez says, ever.
** Especially his reaction to his wound.
--->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a ''knife'' in my leg. When did ''that'' happen?\\
'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\\
'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
** Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] isn't bad, for a virgin.
----
*
* But before Harry learns the details, he has to look around Thomas's apartment. Security comes to have a little talk with him. Which is when he realizes [[FauxYay the backup plan]].
--> I was going to ''kill'' Thomas.
** "An NBA-sized gay burglar who works with a dog?"
* Murphy and the rest of SI are determined to make sure he never lives it down, either...
-->'''Murph:''' You're going syrupy on me, Dresden.\\
'''Harry:''' If it rains, I'll melt.\\
'''Murph:''' It's to be expected. What with how you're gay and all now.\\
'''Harry:''' I'm wh... Oh. [[FauxYay Thomas's apartment]]. Hell's bells, you cops have a fast grapevine.\\
'''Murph:''' Yeah. Rawlins heard it at the coffee machine and he just had to call me up and tell me all about you and your boyfriend getting into a fight. He asked me if I should get you the sound track to ''Les Miserables'' or ''Phantom of the Opera'' for Christmas this year. Varetti and Farrel got a deal on track lighting from Malone's brother-in-law.\\
'''Harry:''' Don't you people have lives?... What are ''you'' getting me?\\
'''Murph:''' Stallings and I found an autographed picture of Julie Newmar on [=eBay.=]\\
'''Harry:''' You guys are never going to let go of this one, are you?\\
'''Murph:''' We're cops. Of course not.
** The real payoff from that incident comes a little later, when Harry and Murph are trying to get into see the proprietress of a high-class brothel, only to discover that Harry unknowingly possesses a lifetime membership:
--->'''Murph:''' What's that all about?\\
'''Harry:''' Don't ask me. I'm gay now.
** The previous quote, a CMOF for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his CMOF:
---> '''Marcone:''' I am under no illusions about your fondness for myself and my business. I regard it as a preventative measure. In my judgment, my buildings are considerably less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.
*** Swiftly followed by Harry rather childishly saying that [[NeverLiveItDown it only happened once.]]
* This gem, from Johnny Marcone:
-->'''Marcone:''' Dresden. It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners.
* Which he said in response to Dresden:
-->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
* During an earlier scene in that office, Harry gets shocked speechless. Marcone... simply smiles.
-->'''Demeter:''' It isn't polite to gloat.\\
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man]], you'd appreciate how rare this is.
* Harry's 'revenge' on Thomas for leaving him out of the loop. He deliberately fails to stop Thomas from setting off a ward that knocks him ass-over-end into a pile of trash.
--> '''Harry:''' Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should have ''told you about a potentially dangerous situation'', huh? I mean, that would have been polite of me to warn you, right? And sensible. And intelligent. And respectful. And--\\
'''Thomas:''' I get it, I get it. ''[he then smears garbage all over Harry's hands]''
* The first meeting with Thomas, after Harry finally tracks him down.
--> '''Thomas:''' ''[after attacking Harry]'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
'''Harry:''' Now what the hell is ''that'' supposed to mean?
* Lara after Harry wards her off with his four years of... fidelity.
-->"Still...
** Earlier, a
*** The latter
*
* Marcone telling
* A
Changed line(s) 56,65 (click to see context) from:
* Lord Raith gives an absolutely hilarious verbal smackdown to the Malvora and Madrigal after Lady Cesarina objects to the challenge of Harry and Carlos.
-->'''Lord Raith:''' Unless, of course, our war heroes here lack the courage to withstand this utterly predictable response to their course of action. They are, of course, free to decline the challenge, should they feel themselves unable to face the consequences of their deeds.
* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I. Am not. Yoda."]]
* Mouse watches the tiny dog Toto hop into a pet-carrier on top of Abby's rolling suitcase, and then looks plaintively at Harry, as if hoping ''he'' can get a ride in one too. There are ''horses'' smaller than Mouse.
-->'''Harry:''' You've got to be kidding. I'd have to clip a railroad car to the suitcase and hire the Hulk to move it around. You're young and healthy. You walk.
** It's made even more funny by the fact that, when Mouse was first introduced in the series, it was as a puppy who ''could'' and ''did'' ride around in the pocket of Harry's duster.
* Harry meets with Lara Raith and briefly contemplates nibbling at her offered hand, but scolds himself:
-->Dammit, Harry, ignore your penis before it gets you killed!
** And there's at least half the series in a nutshell.
* Harry mocking bureaucracy and human nature with a minor shot at his old enemy, Latin:
-->'''Lord Raith:''' Unless, of course, our war heroes here lack the courage to withstand this utterly predictable response to their course of action. They are, of course, free to decline the challenge, should they feel themselves unable to face the consequences of their deeds.
* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I. Am not. Yoda."]]
* Mouse watches the tiny dog Toto hop into a pet-carrier on top of Abby's rolling suitcase, and then looks plaintively at Harry, as if hoping ''he'' can get a ride in one too. There are ''horses'' smaller than Mouse.
-->'''Harry:''' You've got to be kidding. I'd have to clip a railroad car to the suitcase and hire the Hulk to move it around. You're young and healthy. You walk.
** It's made even more funny by the fact that, when Mouse was first introduced in the series, it was as a puppy who ''could'' and ''did'' ride around in the pocket of Harry's duster.
* Harry meets with Lara Raith and briefly contemplates nibbling at her offered hand, but scolds himself:
-->Dammit, Harry, ignore your penis before it gets you killed!
** And there's at least half the series in a nutshell.
* Harry mocking bureaucracy and human nature with a minor shot at his old enemy, Latin:
to:
-->'''Lord Raith:''' Unless, of course, our war heroes here lack the courage to withstand this utterly predictable response to their course of action. They are, of course, free to decline the challenge, should they feel themselves unable to face the consequences of their deeds.
* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I. Am not. Yoda."]]
* Mouse watches the tiny dog Toto hop into a pet-carrier on top of Abby's rolling suitcase, and then looks plaintively at Harry, as if hoping ''he'' can get a ride in one too. There are ''horses'' smaller than Mouse.
-->'''Harry:''' You've got to be kidding. I'd have to clip a railroad car to the suitcase and hire the Hulk to move it around. You're young and healthy. You walk.
** It's made even more funny by the fact that, when Mouse was first introduced in the series, it was as a puppy who ''could'' and ''did'' ride around in the pocket of Harry's duster.
* Harry meets with Lara Raith and briefly contemplates nibbling at her offered hand, but scolds himself:
-->Dammit, Harry, ignore your penis before it gets you killed!
** And there's at least half the series in a nutshell.
Changed line(s) 67,69 (click to see context) from:
* Harry describes the Deeps as "the place where [[ARareSentence my brother nearly got sacrificed by a cult of porn-star sorceresses".]]
** And Molly has to stop him for a second, to make sure that he REALLY just said that.
* After Harry and Murphy survive the car bomb:
** And Molly has to stop him for a second, to make sure that he REALLY just said that.
* After Harry and Murphy survive the car bomb:
to:
** And Molly has to stop him for a second, to make sure that he REALLY just said that.
Changed line(s) 74,78 (click to see context) from:
* Harry and Lara make a few thinly veiled threats to each other, and when she asks him directly if he's threatening her, he slowly looks around at the destroyed room they're standing in, and then up at the hole in the ceiling, and ''the four floors and the roof above it'' that the two of them came smashing down through, and calmly asks "what threat could I possibly be to you, Lara?"
* After Harry and Lara Raith, against all odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
* Harry and Murphy discuss Kincaid:
* After Harry and Lara Raith, against all odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
* Harry and Murphy discuss Kincaid:
to:
** Even the car bomb ''itself'' is pretty hilarious, in that before it's clarified that there was a bomb at all, it briefly looks like Harry's StuffBlowingUp reputation has become so absurd that even InUniverse, just grounding out a lot of anxiety-induced magical energy [[MadeOfExplodium made Murphy's car explode]].
*Harry and Lara make a few thinly veiled threats to each other, and when she asks him directly if While he's threatening her, he slowly looks investigating the disappearances among the Ordo Lebes, Harry has to look around Thomas's apartment. Security comes to have a little talk with him. Which is when he realizes [[FauxYay the backup plan]].
-->I was going to ''kill'' Thomas.
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext An NBA-sized gay burglar who works with a dog]]?"
** The ending line from Harry:
--->I breezed out of the elevators, stopping at thedestroyed room they're standing in, security guy's desk. He nodded at me and then up at waved me out, and Mouse and I departed the hole building, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial secure in our heterosexuality]].
* Harry's snark is out in full force for this book. "Right. Okay, here's theceiling, and ''the four floors and plan. We follow all the roof above it'' that other flammable people out of the two of them came smashing down through, and calmly asks "what threat could I possibly be building before we burn to you, Lara?"
death."
*After Bob's joke when Harry and Lara Raith, against all odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes wakes him up.
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to afew fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
meter by now.
* Harry and Murphy briefly discussKincaid:Kincaid when talking about Cowl:
*
-->I was going to ''kill'' Thomas.
** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext An NBA-sized gay burglar who works with a dog]]?"
** The ending line from Harry:
--->I breezed out of the elevators, stopping at the
* Harry's snark is out in full force for this book. "Right. Okay, here's the
*
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
* Harry and Murphy briefly discuss
Changed line(s) 80,82 (click to see context) from:
Murph gave me a smug smile. "Kincaid isn't a boy toy. He's a man toy. Definitely a man toy."\\
Molly, lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall while she read, dropped her book onto her face. She fumbled it back into her hands and then tried to appear uninterested in the conversation. It would have been more convincing if she weren't [[RushedInvertedReading holding the book upside down]].
* Upon finding out that Madrigal Raith is one of the villains of the book, Dresden remembers how he tried to sell him on [=eBay=] last time they met, much to Elaine's confusion.
Molly, lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall while she read, dropped her book onto her face. She fumbled it back into her hands and then tried to appear uninterested in the conversation. It would have been more convincing if she weren't [[RushedInvertedReading holding the book upside down]].
* Upon finding out that Madrigal Raith is one of the villains of the book, Dresden remembers how he tried to sell him on [=eBay=] last time they met, much to Elaine's confusion.
to:
Murph gave me a slow, smug smile. "Kincaid "[[MrFanservice Kincaid]] isn't a boy toy. He's a man toy. Definitely ''Definitely'' a man toy."\\
Molly, [[HormoneAddledTeenager Molly]], lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall while she read, [[DistractedByTheSexy dropped her book onto her face.face]]. She fumbled it back into her hands and then tried to appear uninterested in the conversation. It would have been more convincing if she weren't [[RushedInvertedReading holding the book upside down]].
* Harry and Elaine ([[WorkingWithTheEx naturally]]) arguing LikeAnOldMarriedCouple is just a delight to read:
** When they're both heading towards the docks where Thomas seems to be hiding, and Elaine takes out the long chain she uses as a magic focus instead of Harry's SimpleStaff:
--->'''Harry:''' [[SarcasmMode Careful]]. If you tell me [[Franchise/WonderWoman you've got bracelets and a magical lariat in there]], I may lose control of my sexual impulses.\\
'''Elaine:''' ''(snorts)'' You can't lose what you've never had.
** And as they head aboard the ''Water Beetle'':
--->'''Harry:''' ''(to Elaine)'' Cover me.\\
'''Elaine:''' "Cover you." ''(shakes her head)'' I thought I was here on a job. Now it turns out I'm half of a buddy-cop movie.\\
'''Harry:''' Uh-huh. I'm the zany yet lovable one. You're the brainy conservative.\\
'''Elaine:''' What if ''I'' want to be the zany one?\\
'''Harry:''' Then you can hop out there on the boat.\\
'''Elaine:''' [[invoked]] ''(in the tone of reciting a hastily memorized grocery list)'' [[ClicheStorm Stop throwing the regulations out the window. We're supposed to catch the maniacs not become them. Don't do anything crazy]], because [[{{Retirony}} I've only got two and a half seconds to go until I retire]].\\
'''Harry:''' That's the spirit.
* The first meeting Harry has with Thomas on the ''Water Beetle''.
--> '''Thomas:''' ''(after attacking Harry from behhind)'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
'''Harry:''' ''(blinks and turns to glare at him)'' Now what the hell is ''that'' supposed to mean?
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Fucking]] ''[[BrickJoke boats]]."''
* Harry's incredibly petty revenge on Thomas for leaving him out of the loop for so long. He deliberately fails to stop Thomas from setting off a ward set up by Elaine that knocks him ass-over-end into a pile of trash cans. Made even funnier by how Harry describes his sarcastic apology to Thomas as being as genuine as "a five-year-old [[ImplausibleDeniability insisting that they didn't eat that chocolate chip cookie smeared all over their face]]."
-->'''Harry:''' Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should have ''told you'' about a ''potentially dangerous situation'', huh? I mean, that would have been polite of me to warn you, right? And sensible. And intelligent. And respectful. And--\\
'''Thomas:''' I get it, I get it. ''[he then smears garbage all over his hands as Harry helps lift him up, with Harry rolling his eyes as Thomas glares at him]''
* Upon finding out that Madrigal Raith is one of the main villains ofthe this book, Dresden remembers how he tried to sell him on [=eBay=] [[CallBack last time they met, met]], much to Elaine's confusion.confusion.
* Mouse watches the tiny dog Toto hop into a pet-carrier on top of Abby's rolling suitcase, and then looks plaintively at Harry, as if hoping ''he'' can get a ride in one too. As a friendly reminder, there are ''horses'' smaller than Mouse.
-->'''Harry:''' You've got to be kidding. I'd have to clip a railroad car to the suitcase and hire the Hulk to move it around. You're young and healthy. You walk.
** It's made even funnier by the fact that, when Mouse was first introduced in the series in ''Blood Rites'', he was a puppy who ''could'' and ''did'' ride around in the pocket of Harry's duster.
* Evidently, Murphy and the rest of SI are determined to make sure Harry never lives it down having to pose as Thomas' lover.
-->'''Murph:''' You're going syrupy on me, Dresden.\\
'''Harry:''' If it rains, I'll melt.\\
'''Murphy:''' It's to be expected. What with how you're gay and all now.\\
'''Harry:''' I'm wh... ''Oh.'' [[CallBack Thomas's apartment]]. Hell's bells, you cops have a fast grapevine.\\
'''Murphy:''' Yeah. Rawlins heard it at the coffee machine and he just had to call me up and tell me all about you and your boyfriend getting into a fight. He asked me if I should get you the sound track to ''Theatre/{{Les Miserables}}'' or ''[[Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera Phantom of the Opera]]'' for Christmas this year. Varetti and Farrel got a deal on track lighting from Malone's brother-in-law.\\
'''Harry:''' ''(exasperated)'' Don't you people have ''lives? (notices Murphy is still smiling at him, and warily eyes her)'' ...What are ''you'' getting me?\\
'''Murphy:''' Stallings and I found an autographed picture of Julie Newmar on [=eBay.=]\\
'''Harry:''' ''(sighs)'' You guys are ''never'' going to let go of this one, are you?\\
'''Murphy:''' ''(cheerily)'' We're cops. Of course not.
** The real payoff from that incident comes a little later, when Harry and Murph are trying to get into see the proprietress of a high-class brothel, only to discover that Harry unknowingly possesses ''a lifetime membership'':
--->'''Murphy:''' What's that all about?\\
'''Harry:''' Don't ask me. I'm gay now.
** The previous quote, a hilarious moment for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his ''own'' [=CMoF=]:
--->'''Marcone:''' I am under no illusions about your fondness for myself and my business. I regard it as a preventative measure. In my judgment, my buildings are considerably less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.\\
'''Murphy:''' ''(snorts)'' [[VillainHasAPoint He's got a point, Dresden]].\\
'''Harry:''' ''(childishly)'' [[NeverLiveItDown That was]] ''[[NeverLiveItDown one]]'' [[NeverLiveItDown time]].
* When Ms. Demeter walks in and reveals her identity as Helen Beckitt, Harry is [[StunnedSilence shocked speechless]]. Marcone... [[EvilGloating simply smiles]].
-->'''Demeter:''' It isn't polite to gloat.\\
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man]], [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness you'd appreciate how rare this is]].
* [[invoked]] While the following scene is [[NightmareFuel legitimately terrifying]], Harry angrily growling ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I. Am not. Yoda."]]'' to Molly is pretty darkly hilarious in the moment.
* The following conversation between Harry and Marcone in its entirety, all of which happens after Harry just faxed him a copy of the Unseelie Accords as part of his attempt at getting Marcone on his side as a contingency for the following duel with the White Court.
-->The pay phone rang.\\
I hopped up, as much as I was able of hopping, and answered it. "Dresden."\\
John Marcone's voice was as cool and eloquent as ever. "You must think me insane."\\
"You read the papers I had faxed to you?"\\
"As had my counsel at Monoc," Marcone replied. "That doesn't mean-"\\
I interrupted him [[{{Troll}} purely because I knew how much it would annoy him]]. "Look, we both know you're going to do it, and I'm too tired to dance," I told him. "What do you want?"\\
There was a moment of silence that might have been vaguely irritated. Being adolescent at someone like Marcone is good for my morale.\\
"Say please," Marcone said.\\
I blinked. "[[FlatWhat What]]?"\\
"Say please, Dresden," he replied, his tone smooth. "Ask me."\\
I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break."\\
"[[IronicEcho We both know you need me, Dresden, and I'm too tired to dance]]." I could practically see the shark smile on his face. "Say please."\\
I stewed for a sullen minute before I realized that doing so was probably building ''Marcone's'' morale, and I couldn't have that. "Fine," I said. "Please."\\
"Pretty please," Marcone prompted me.\\
Some pyromancial madman's thoughts flooded my forebrain, but I took a deep breath, tasered my pride, and said, "Pretty please."\\
"With a cherry on top."\\
"[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you]]," I said, and hung up on him.
* Carlos Ramirez, who has for the last several books been bragging about his [[TheCasanova popularity with the ladies]], meets AffablyEvil [[TheVamp sex vampiress]] Lara Raith, who immediately turns to Dresden and exclaims: "A virgin! Is he a ''present''?" And of course, Harry being Harry, he makes increasingly hilarious comments about it through the rest of the scene.
** "Ramirez loved women. Ramirez never shut up about women. Well, he never shut up about anything in general."
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
** Similarly, basically everything Ramirez says, ever. Especially his reaction to his wound.
--->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a ''knife'' in my leg. When did ''that'' happen?\\
'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\\
'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. ''(peers downward)'' Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
** [[invoked]] Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] [[DamnedByFaintPraise isn't bad, for a virgin]].
* Harry meets with Lara Raith and briefly contemplates nibbling at her offered hand, but scolds himself and basically sums up at least half of the series in a nutshell:
-->''[[NotDistractedByTheSexy Dammit, Harry, ignore your penis before it gets you killed!]]''
* Lord Raith giving an absolutely hilarious verbal smackdown to the Malvora contingent after Lady Cesarina objects to the challenge of Harry and Carlos.
-->'''Lord Raith:''' ''(while giving a droll hand to Madrigal Raith and Vittorio Malvora)'' Unless, of course, our war heroes here lack the courage to withstand this utterly predictable response to their course of action. They are, of course, free to decline the challenge, should they feel themselves unable to face the consequences of their deeds.
* "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Bowling for Vampires!"
** The best part? The Raiths [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laugh and applaud]]. Harry is [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame disturbed]].
* Harry telling [[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]] to pick on someone her own size when she has [[TheBigGuy Hendricks]] in an arm lock.
* Lara after Harry wards her off with his four years of... fidelity.
-->"Still... A man like you and it's been four ''years''..." She shook her head. "I have enormous personal respect for you, wizard. But that's just... sad."
* After Harry and Lara, against all odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, they make a few thinly veiled threats to each other, and when she asks him directly if he's threatening her, he slowly looks around at the destroyed room they're standing in, the hole in the ceiling, and ''the four floors and the roof above it'' that the two of them came smashing down through, and drily asks "What threat could I ''possibly'' be to you, Lara?"
* Following the abover scene, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of Lara before he leaves. The last one, though, is what ''finally'' makes her [[BerserkButton lose her cool]] and tell him to GetOut.
-->'''Harry:''' [[StealthInsult Some Listerine. I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
* Harry describes the Deeps as "the place where [[ARareSentence my brother nearly got sacrificed by a cult of porn-star sorceresses".]]
** And Molly has to stop him for a second, just to make sure that he '''really''' just said that.
* Upon finding Marcone and Ms. Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap and a few buttons undone on his shirt -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, sounding pleased. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
* Harry and Elaine ([[WorkingWithTheEx naturally]]) arguing LikeAnOldMarriedCouple is just a delight to read:
** When they're both heading towards the docks where Thomas seems to be hiding, and Elaine takes out the long chain she uses as a magic focus instead of Harry's SimpleStaff:
--->'''Harry:''' [[SarcasmMode Careful]]. If you tell me [[Franchise/WonderWoman you've got bracelets and a magical lariat in there]], I may lose control of my sexual impulses.\\
'''Elaine:''' ''(snorts)'' You can't lose what you've never had.
** And as they head aboard the ''Water Beetle'':
--->'''Harry:''' ''(to Elaine)'' Cover me.\\
'''Elaine:''' "Cover you." ''(shakes her head)'' I thought I was here on a job. Now it turns out I'm half of a buddy-cop movie.\\
'''Harry:''' Uh-huh. I'm the zany yet lovable one. You're the brainy conservative.\\
'''Elaine:''' What if ''I'' want to be the zany one?\\
'''Harry:''' Then you can hop out there on the boat.\\
'''Elaine:''' [[invoked]] ''(in the tone of reciting a hastily memorized grocery list)'' [[ClicheStorm Stop throwing the regulations out the window. We're supposed to catch the maniacs not become them. Don't do anything crazy]], because [[{{Retirony}} I've only got two and a half seconds to go until I retire]].\\
'''Harry:''' That's the spirit.
* The first meeting Harry has with Thomas on the ''Water Beetle''.
--> '''Thomas:''' ''(after attacking Harry from behhind)'' Give it up. It's a good act, but I know you aren't Harry Dresden. There's no way the real Dresden would have come here with a woman like that instead of his dog.\\
'''Harry:''' ''(blinks and turns to glare at him)'' Now what the hell is ''that'' supposed to mean?
* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Fucking]] ''[[BrickJoke boats]]."''
* Harry's incredibly petty revenge on Thomas for leaving him out of the loop for so long. He deliberately fails to stop Thomas from setting off a ward set up by Elaine that knocks him ass-over-end into a pile of trash cans. Made even funnier by how Harry describes his sarcastic apology to Thomas as being as genuine as "a five-year-old [[ImplausibleDeniability insisting that they didn't eat that chocolate chip cookie smeared all over their face]]."
-->'''Harry:''' Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should have ''told you'' about a ''potentially dangerous situation'', huh? I mean, that would have been polite of me to warn you, right? And sensible. And intelligent. And respectful. And--\\
'''Thomas:''' I get it, I get it. ''[he then smears garbage all over his hands as Harry helps lift him up, with Harry rolling his eyes as Thomas glares at him]''
* Upon finding out that Madrigal Raith is one of the main villains of
* Mouse watches the tiny dog Toto hop into a pet-carrier on top of Abby's rolling suitcase, and then looks plaintively at Harry, as if hoping ''he'' can get a ride in one too. As a friendly reminder, there are ''horses'' smaller than Mouse.
-->'''Harry:''' You've got to be kidding. I'd have to clip a railroad car to the suitcase and hire the Hulk to move it around. You're young and healthy. You walk.
** It's made even funnier by the fact that, when Mouse was first introduced in the series in ''Blood Rites'', he was a puppy who ''could'' and ''did'' ride around in the pocket of Harry's duster.
* Evidently, Murphy and the rest of SI are determined to make sure Harry never lives it down having to pose as Thomas' lover.
-->'''Murph:''' You're going syrupy on me, Dresden.\\
'''Harry:''' If it rains, I'll melt.\\
'''Murphy:''' It's to be expected. What with how you're gay and all now.\\
'''Harry:''' I'm wh... ''Oh.'' [[CallBack Thomas's apartment]]. Hell's bells, you cops have a fast grapevine.\\
'''Murphy:''' Yeah. Rawlins heard it at the coffee machine and he just had to call me up and tell me all about you and your boyfriend getting into a fight. He asked me if I should get you the sound track to ''Theatre/{{Les Miserables}}'' or ''[[Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera Phantom of the Opera]]'' for Christmas this year. Varetti and Farrel got a deal on track lighting from Malone's brother-in-law.\\
'''Harry:''' ''(exasperated)'' Don't you people have ''lives? (notices Murphy is still smiling at him, and warily eyes her)'' ...What are ''you'' getting me?\\
'''Murphy:''' Stallings and I found an autographed picture of Julie Newmar on [=eBay.=]\\
'''Harry:''' ''(sighs)'' You guys are ''never'' going to let go of this one, are you?\\
'''Murphy:''' ''(cheerily)'' We're cops. Of course not.
** The real payoff from that incident comes a little later, when Harry and Murph are trying to get into see the proprietress of a high-class brothel, only to discover that Harry unknowingly possesses ''a lifetime membership'':
--->'''Murphy:''' What's that all about?\\
'''Harry:''' Don't ask me. I'm gay now.
** The previous quote, a hilarious moment for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his ''own'' [=CMoF=]:
--->'''Marcone:''' I am under no illusions about your fondness for myself and my business. I regard it as a preventative measure. In my judgment, my buildings are considerably less likely to burn to the ground during one of your visits if you are disoriented from being treated like a sultan.\\
'''Murphy:''' ''(snorts)'' [[VillainHasAPoint He's got a point, Dresden]].\\
'''Harry:''' ''(childishly)'' [[NeverLiveItDown That was]] ''[[NeverLiveItDown one]]'' [[NeverLiveItDown time]].
* When Ms. Demeter walks in and reveals her identity as Helen Beckitt, Harry is [[StunnedSilence shocked speechless]]. Marcone... [[EvilGloating simply smiles]].
-->'''Demeter:''' It isn't polite to gloat.\\
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man]], [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness you'd appreciate how rare this is]].
* [[invoked]] While the following scene is [[NightmareFuel legitimately terrifying]], Harry angrily growling ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I. Am not. Yoda."]]'' to Molly is pretty darkly hilarious in the moment.
* The following conversation between Harry and Marcone in its entirety, all of which happens after Harry just faxed him a copy of the Unseelie Accords as part of his attempt at getting Marcone on his side as a contingency for the following duel with the White Court.
-->The pay phone rang.\\
I hopped up, as much as I was able of hopping, and answered it. "Dresden."\\
John Marcone's voice was as cool and eloquent as ever. "You must think me insane."\\
"You read the papers I had faxed to you?"\\
"As had my counsel at Monoc," Marcone replied. "That doesn't mean-"\\
I interrupted him [[{{Troll}} purely because I knew how much it would annoy him]]. "Look, we both know you're going to do it, and I'm too tired to dance," I told him. "What do you want?"\\
There was a moment of silence that might have been vaguely irritated. Being adolescent at someone like Marcone is good for my morale.\\
"Say please," Marcone said.\\
I blinked. "[[FlatWhat What]]?"\\
"Say please, Dresden," he replied, his tone smooth. "Ask me."\\
I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break."\\
"[[IronicEcho We both know you need me, Dresden, and I'm too tired to dance]]." I could practically see the shark smile on his face. "Say please."\\
I stewed for a sullen minute before I realized that doing so was probably building ''Marcone's'' morale, and I couldn't have that. "Fine," I said. "Please."\\
"Pretty please," Marcone prompted me.\\
Some pyromancial madman's thoughts flooded my forebrain, but I took a deep breath, tasered my pride, and said, "Pretty please."\\
"With a cherry on top."\\
"[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you]]," I said, and hung up on him.
* Carlos Ramirez, who has for the last several books been bragging about his [[TheCasanova popularity with the ladies]], meets AffablyEvil [[TheVamp sex vampiress]] Lara Raith, who immediately turns to Dresden and exclaims: "A virgin! Is he a ''present''?" And of course, Harry being Harry, he makes increasingly hilarious comments about it through the rest of the scene.
** "Ramirez loved women. Ramirez never shut up about women. Well, he never shut up about anything in general."
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
** Similarly, basically everything Ramirez says, ever. Especially his reaction to his wound.
--->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a ''knife'' in my leg. When did ''that'' happen?\\
'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\\
'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. ''(peers downward)'' Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
** [[invoked]] Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] [[DamnedByFaintPraise isn't bad, for a virgin]].
* Harry meets with Lara Raith and briefly contemplates nibbling at her offered hand, but scolds himself and basically sums up at least half of the series in a nutshell:
-->''[[NotDistractedByTheSexy Dammit, Harry, ignore your penis before it gets you killed!]]''
* Lord Raith giving an absolutely hilarious verbal smackdown to the Malvora contingent after Lady Cesarina objects to the challenge of Harry and Carlos.
-->'''Lord Raith:''' ''(while giving a droll hand to Madrigal Raith and Vittorio Malvora)'' Unless, of course, our war heroes here lack the courage to withstand this utterly predictable response to their course of action. They are, of course, free to decline the challenge, should they feel themselves unable to face the consequences of their deeds.
* "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Bowling for Vampires!"
** The best part? The Raiths [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laugh and applaud]]. Harry is [[YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame disturbed]].
* Harry telling [[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]] to pick on someone her own size when she has [[TheBigGuy Hendricks]] in an arm lock.
* Lara after Harry wards her off with his four years of... fidelity.
-->"Still... A man like you and it's been four ''years''..." She shook her head. "I have enormous personal respect for you, wizard. But that's just... sad."
* After Harry and Lara, against all odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, they make a few thinly veiled threats to each other, and when she asks him directly if he's threatening her, he slowly looks around at the destroyed room they're standing in, the hole in the ceiling, and ''the four floors and the roof above it'' that the two of them came smashing down through, and drily asks "What threat could I ''possibly'' be to you, Lara?"
* Following the abover scene, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of Lara before he leaves. The last one, though, is what ''finally'' makes her [[BerserkButton lose her cool]] and tell him to GetOut.
-->'''Harry:''' [[StealthInsult Some Listerine. I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
* Harry describes the Deeps as "the place where [[ARareSentence my brother nearly got sacrificed by a cult of porn-star sorceresses".]]
** And Molly has to stop him for a second, just to make sure that he '''really''' just said that.
* Upon finding Marcone and Ms. Demeter in a compromising position -- with her seated in his lap and a few buttons undone on his shirt -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
** There's also the following [[SnarkToSnarkCombat delightful exchange between Harry and Marcone]]:
--->"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits," I announced. "The ghosts of indictment past, present, and future. They will teach you the true meaning of 'you are still a scumbag criminal.'"\\
"Dresden," Marcone said, sounding pleased. "It's nice to see you alive. Your sense of humor, of course, remains unchanged, which is unsurprising, as it seems to have died in your adolescence. Presumably, it entered into a suicide pact with your manners."
Changed line(s) 88,94 (click to see context) from:
* Bob's joke when Harry wakes him up.
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
* After [[spoiler: Lash's death]], Bob says Harry's been brain-damaged.
-->'''Harry''': [[IResembleThatRemark Harry get hammer.]] [[HulkSpeak Smash stupid talky skull.]]
** Later in the same conversation, Bob asks why Harry hasn't slept with Murphy yet. Harry reaches under the workbench, pulls out a claw hammer, and [[DeathGlare gives Bob a pointed look.]]
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
* After [[spoiler: Lash's death]], Bob says Harry's been brain-damaged.
-->'''Harry''': [[IResembleThatRemark Harry get hammer.]] [[HulkSpeak Smash stupid talky skull.]]
** Later in the same conversation, Bob asks why Harry hasn't slept with Murphy yet. Harry reaches under the workbench, pulls out a claw hammer, and [[DeathGlare gives Bob a pointed look.]]
to:
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
-->'''Harry''':
-->'''Harry:''' [[IResembleThatRemark Harry get hammer.]] [[HulkSpeak Smash stupid talky skull.]]
** Later in the same conversation, Bob asks why Harry hasn't slept with Murphy yet. Harry reaches under the workbench, pulls out a claw hammer, and [[DeathGlare gives Bob a pointed look.
* TheReveal of Thomas's solution to the problem of his vampire hunger. Harry has spent two books worrying that he's gone back to hunting and victimizing women... instead, he's started a high-end beauty salon and has been posing as a gay French hairdresser. Brilliant ''and'' comedy gold.
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Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position, Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
to:
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position, position -- with her seated in his lap -- Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you really knew the man, you'd appreciate how rare this is.
to:
'''Marcone:''' I'm simply savoring the moment. If you [[MotorMouth really knew the man, man]], you'd appreciate how rare this is.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
* After Harry and Lara Raith, [[HolyShitQuotient against all odds]], survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
to:
* After Harry and Lara Raith, [[HolyShitQuotient against all odds]], odds, survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
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Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
She practically glowed. Once or twice, after a compliment, she'd [[LiteralMetaphor ''literally'' glowed]], but we'd gotten that under control within a month or two.
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She practically glowed. Once or twice, after a compliment, she'd ''[[LiteralMetaphor literally]]'' [[LiteralMetaphor ''literally'' glowed]], but we'd gotten that under control within a month or two.
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** Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] isn't bad, for a virgin.
to:
** Harry also manages to give Ramirez a bit of a boost when he starts flagging--by telling him his [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome prehistoric-ghoul-fighting]] isn't bad, for a virgin.
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Adding tropes.
Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
She practically glowed. Once or twice, after a compliment, she'd ''literally'' glowed, but we'd gotten that under control within a month or two.
to:
She practically glowed. Once or twice, after a compliment, she'd [[LiteralMetaphor ''literally'' glowed, glowed]], but we'd gotten that under control within a month or two.
Changed line(s) 81 (click to see context) from:
Molly, lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall while she read, dropped her book onto her face. She fumbled it back into her hands and then tried to appear uninterested in the conversation. It would have been more convincing if she weren't holding the book upside down.
to:
Molly, lying on the floor with her feet up on the wall while she read, dropped her book onto her face. She fumbled it back into her hands and then tried to appear uninterested in the conversation. It would have been more convincing if she weren't [[RushedInvertedReading holding the book upside down.down]].
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Changed line(s) 74 (click to see context) from:
** After Harry and Lara Raith, [[HolyShitQuotient against all odds]], survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
to:
* After Harry and Lara Raith, [[HolyShitQuotient against all odds]], survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
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* After [[spoiler: Lash's death]], Bob says Harry's been brain-damaged.
-->'''Harry''': [[IResembleThatRemark Harry get hammer.]] [[HulkSpeak Smash stupid talky skull.]]
** Later in the same conversation, Bob asks why Harry hasn't slept with Murphy yet. Harry reaches under the workbench, pulls out a claw hammer, and [[DeathGlare gives Bob a pointed look.]]
-->'''Harry''': [[IResembleThatRemark Harry get hammer.]] [[HulkSpeak Smash stupid talky skull.]]
** Later in the same conversation, Bob asks why Harry hasn't slept with Murphy yet. Harry reaches under the workbench, pulls out a claw hammer, and [[DeathGlare gives Bob a pointed look.]]
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Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position, Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes earlier, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
to:
* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position, Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes earlier, later, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* "Welcome, ladies and gentlement, to Bowling for Vampires!"
to:
* "Welcome, ladies and gentlement, gentlemen, to Bowling for Vampires!"
Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
to:
** "They're going to try to flank us." "I know I never went to warden Warden combat school. But I feel I should remind you that this is not MY first time."
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* Upon finding Marcone and Demeter in a compromising position, Harry comments that it's a pity he came in when he did. [[BaitAndSwitch If he'd come in five minutes earlier, it would've been much more embarrassing]].
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
*** Swiftly followed by Harry rather childishly saying that it only happened once.
to:
*** Swiftly followed by Harry rather childishly saying that [[NeverLiveItDown it only happened once.]]
** And there's at least half the series in a nutshell.
Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
* Harry describes the Deeps as "the place where my brother nearly got sacrificed by a cult of porn-star sorceresses".
to:
* Harry describes the Deeps as "the place where [[ARareSentence my brother nearly got sacrificed by a cult of porn-star sorceresses".]]
Changed line(s) 75 (click to see context) from:
* Harry and Murphy discuss Kincaid
to:
* Harry and Murphy discuss KincaidKincaid:
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
** The previous quote, a CMOF for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, particularly a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his CMOF:
to:
** The previous quote, a CMOF for Harry, was a result of showing up at one of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone's businesses, particularly essentially a brothel posing as a health club. Harry was greeted at the door with a Platinum membership package. When pressed for a reason why, Marcone delivers his CMOF:
Changed line(s) 49 (click to see context) from:
*** This happens during a scene where Molly does object reading on a corpse and, uh, got something. Harry then sulks, commenting on how he never gets something that "nice" during a psychic investigation.
to:
*** This The latter happens during a scene where Molly does object reading on a corpse and, uh, got something.[[DirtyMindReading picks up something]]. Harry then sulks, commenting on how he never gets something that "nice" during a psychic investigation.
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** After Harry and Lara Raith, [[HolyShitQuotient against all odds]], survive some unexpected developments in The Deeps, Harry makes a few fairly reasonable requests of her. The last of which is:
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
--> Some Listerine. [[ItMakesSenseInContext I've got a funny taste in my mouth.]]
:: : [[GetOut Lara's response]] was probably inevitable.
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Added DiffLines:
* Bob's joke when Harry wakes him up.
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
-->'''Bob:''' What's up, boss?\\
'''Harry:''' Evil's afoot.\\
'''Bob:''' Well, sure, because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.
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Changed line(s) 81 (click to see context) from:
'''Ramirez:''' Oooh. Yours is better.
to:
'''Ramirez:''' Oooh. Yours is better.better.
----
----
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Changed line(s) 79,80 (click to see context) from:
'''Ramirez:''' The Black Hats, after our Ringwraith-wannabe, Cowl. You?
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.
to:
'''Ramirez:''' The Black Hats, after our Ringwraith-wannabe, Cowl. You?
You?\\
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.\\
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.\\
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Changed line(s) 77 (click to see context) from:
to:
* Harry and Ramirez trading info about the most dangerous foe they've ever faced.
-->'''Harry:''' What do you call them?\\
'''Ramirez:''' The Black Hats, after our Ringwraith-wannabe, Cowl. You?
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.
'''Ramirez:''' Oooh. Yours is better.
-->'''Harry:''' What do you call them?\\
'''Ramirez:''' The Black Hats, after our Ringwraith-wannabe, Cowl. You?
'''Harry:''' The Black Council.
'''Ramirez:''' Oooh. Yours is better.
