History Funny / UrinatingTreeLolcowsInSports

''[StockScream of horror accompanying a tweet from Gsellman accusing Noah Syndergaard of stealing his UsefulNotes/{{Xbox}}]''\\

* He tosses it off to Five Point Vids to finish up the video.

** Drafting Ken O'Brien in 1983 when Dan Marino was still available.[[note]]Marino's draft prospects had plunged in the preceding months, as he was coming off a weak final season at the University of Pittsburgh and was alleged to have recreational drug problems, but O'Brien was such an obscure choice that many fans and journalists - and Marino himself - had no idea who he was. Two years later, they made a similar blunder when they needed a wide receiver and chose Wisconsin's Al Toon (in fairness, both O'Brien and Toon had respectable careers in New York, each being named AFC Player of the Year and being chosen for multiple Pro Bowls), allowing the 49ers to draft a certain Mississippi Valley State WR named Jerry Rice, who went on to set over 100 NFL records (including receptions, receiving yards, and touchdowns) and is widely held to be one of the greatest players in NFL history. In 1990, they made the same mistake ''again'' when they needed a running back and drafted Penn State's Blair Thomas (one of many Heisman Trophy winners whose NFL careers never took off), leaving future NFL rushing yards record-setter and Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith of Florida available for the Cowboys.[[/note]]

** "You see, children, I ended up going to ''that'' game. If you're an Orioles fan, you know which one I'm talking about."

** "Do you choose the white hot closer who is a Cy Young candidate? Or do you go for the mystery box, and pick a Ubaldo Jimenez who hasn't been any good in five years? Chose wisely si-... you picked Jimenez?"
** "The worst scenario hasn't just happened, it's in its nuclear winter. Chris Davis is well on his way to having the worst season ever recorded by a position player. That is not an exaggeration."

** "And there's Chris Tillman, once a beacon of light for the organization!"
*** ''Tillman's awful stat line is shown on screen'': "Aaaand, he sucks."

* The Lakers have been in a tailspin since the death of longtime owner Jerry Buss and the career decline of Kobe Bryant. Buss is initially succeeded by his son Jim, who mismanages the team for four years before being ousted by his younger sister Jeanie. Unfortunately, her solution to reviving the team's fortunes is to bring in names from the glory days, such as Magic Johnson as president and Rob Pelinka, former agent of Kobe Bryant, as general manager. Still, they have some promising players in Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Julius Randle, and Kyle Kuzma; a big name or two might be all the team needs to crystallize. However, getting big names proved easier said than done:

'''UT''': [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamerion_Wimbley Linebacker!]] And he doesn't suck! '''[[WhatAnIdiot LET'S TRADE HIM!]]'''\\

** Drafting OSU defensive end Vernon Gholston in 2008, greeted with enthusiasm from both Jets fans at the draft and ESPN's Chris Berman, who exclaims "And the Jets have just won the Super Bowl!"[[note]]Although the audio for this clip actually originates from the Jets' selection of USC wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson first overall in the 1996 draft. Johnson ''did'' win a Super Bowl... after being traded to the Buccaneers following the Jets' 1999 AFC Championship loss to the Broncos.[[/note]] The caption '''N[-O SACKS-], [-CUT IN THREE YEARS-]''' appears with the 1980s Mac OS "quack" sound effect,[[note]]'''Over six hundred other players''' managed at least one sack in those three years.[[/note]] summing up why Gholston is considered one of the biggest draft busts in Jets history (and as this list makes apparent, there's a ''lot'' of competition for that title).

'''UT''': That should say it all. But doesn't matter, they can get Kawhi Leonard! ''[various headlines concerning Leonard's desire to leave San Antonio appear]'' Disgruntled player demanding a trade, and L.A. has the pieces to get it done! Unfortunately, Toronto did too.\\

** Drafting OSU defensive end Vernon Gholston in 2008, greeted with enthusiasm from both Jets fans at the draft and ESPN's Chris Berman, who exclaims "And the Jets have just won the Super Bowl!" The caption '''N[-O SACKS-], [-CUT IN THREE YEARS-]''' appears with the 1980s Mac OS "quack" sound effect,[[note]]'''Over six hundred other players''' managed at least one sack in those three years.[[/note]] summing up why Gholston is considered one of the biggest draft busts in Jets history (and as this list makes apparent, there's a ''lot'' of competition for that title).

-->'''UT''': ''[as Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King" plays in the background]'' So if you can't draft, can't play, and can't care, what the hell is this team even notable for anymore--oh, that's right! [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butt_fumble The Butt-fumble!]] One of the greatest plays to ever be devised by the Football Gods for our comedic enjoyment! [[http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/02/incredulous.gif Shocked Jaguars Fan]] may be a depressing offering, but he at least ''has dignity''; "Butt-fumble" is so full of shame it's now a figure of speech. It is the perfect representation of failure, buffoonery, submission, and outstanding comedic timing that football has been dying for since [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Marshall_(American_football) Jim Marshall]] [[http://www.nfl.com/videos/minnesota-vikings/0ap3000000564787/This-Day-in-NFL-History-Jim-Marshall-runs-the-wrong-way ran the wrong way for a safety]]. I could play this clip on repeat for five minutes with "Yakety Sax" in the background and it would just as strongly prove my case! In fact, [[UpToEleven I'll go further and say that this play is the perfect microcosm of the Jets organization]]. Everything surrounding this team is a butt-fumble. Their performance [in 2016-17]? Butt-fumble. The free agent signings are usually butt-fumbles. How they play in critical games? Absolutely a butt-fumble. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brett_Favre Brett Favre]] sending dick picks? He butt-fumbled. John Idzik's tenure? Total butt-fumble! [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Ryan Rex Ryan]] constantly butt-fumbled his way around the sidelines for six seasons. [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_Kotite Rich Kotite?]] That dude even ''looks'' [[{{Gonk}} like a butt-fumble]]! [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Belichick Bill Belichick]] butt-fumbled by accepting a head coaching position with the Jets, then [[https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/remember-when-bill-belichick-quit-as-hc-of-the-nyj-after-one-day/ gloriously un-butt-fumbled on a paper napkin!]] The Jets butt-fumbled by injuring [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drew_Bledsoe Drew Bledsoe!]][[note]]It was his injury that allowed then-backup Tom Brady to get into an NFL game.[[/note]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Fitzpatrick Ryan Fitzpatrick's]] contract holdout was a ''double''-butt-fumble! They continue to draft butt-fumble after butt-fumble after butt-fumble. Even their fan base, like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fireman_Ed Fireman Ed]], is a butt-fumble. [[INeedAFreakingDrink They drink themselves into a stupor after witnessing such butt-fumbling]], and then butt-fumble their way into creating more butt-fumbling bastard-spawn.[[note]]A clip of a child in a Jets jersey and helmet is captioned with '''P[-ICTURED-]: C[-HILD ABUSE-]'''[[/note]] [[MedalOfDishonor This play should be enshrined and bronzed as a statue outside of MetLife Stadium]] for all of us to bask in and enjoy, courtesy of a donation from the Mara family.[[note]]The owners of the New York Giants since their foundation.[[/note]] Our future children and grandchildren should be able to laugh like we all did on that glorious day for millennia to come!

'''"L[-E-]B[-RON-]'[-S GONNA TRADE YOU-]!" *[-CLAP-]* *[-CLAP-]* *[-CLAP-]* *[-CLAP-]* *[-CLAP-]*'''[[note]]The Lakers lost the game in question 136-94, the biggest losing margin of [=LeBron's=] career. As for Ingram, sure enough, when the Lakers made another move for Davis in free agency - this one successful - he was included in the package given to the Pelicans, along with Lonzo Ball, Josh Hart, and three first-round picks (including the fourth overall pick) in what eventually became a three-team trade with the Washington Wizards also included later on.[[/note]]

* The very fact that the video didn't even last ''a proper day as it was'' before [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4fLb1A47gs the update regarding the [=DeMarcus=] Cousins situation there]] should say a lot about how awful the Kings were through the late 2000's and the entirety of the 2010's.

* The Lakers have been in a tailspin since the death of longtime owner Jerry Buss and the career decline of Kobe Bryant. Buss is initially succeeded by his son Jim, who mismanages the team for four years before being ousted by his younger sister Jeanie. Unfortunately, her solution to reviving the team's fortunes is to bring in names from the glory days, such as Magic Johnson as president and Rob Pelinka, former agent of Kobe Bryant, as general manager. Still, they have some promising players in Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Julius Randle, and Kyle Kuzma; a big name or two might be all the team needs to crystallise. However, getting big names proved easier said than done:

!![[AC:It's Always Shitty in Philadelphia: The Flyers Case]]

'''Mets Man''': Do you have ''any'' idea what team this is? Just like a groundhog, every June a disaster emerges from the ground known as Mets baseball! No matter the circumstances, regardless of what moves were made, [=LOLMets=] will reign supreme across the land!

'''UT''': One of the most inept organizations in basketball, a team that burned through ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_Gentry seven]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsey_Hunter head]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Hornacek coaches]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Watson in]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Triano seven]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_Kokoskov years!]]'' They lost out to ''that.''[[note]]The Suns later improved themselves under Williams, going 34-39 in his first season (albeit in a pandemic-shortened season) before getting a 51-21 record to not only return to the Playoffs for the first time since ''2010,'' but also get the second-best record that season and later went as far as the NBA Finals that same season. In their first series back, they won against the Lakers themselves 4-2 in the first round of the 2021 Playoffs, getting revenge from their last series match-up against them back in 2010 before sweeping the Denver Nuggets in the second round and beating the Clippers 4-2 in the Western Conference Finals.[[/note]] At this point, they threw their hands in the air and settled for [=LeBron=]'s old puppet in Tyronn Lue.\\

-->'''UT''': Why the fuck would any free agent want to come here? So they can be under the the threat of being traded for another brand name superstar that will hate the Lakers in time? That they can witness the protests of an incredibly entitled fanbase that hasn't seen a shred of hardship in their history?\\

* See under the Baseball folder of [[Funny/UrinatingTreeCongratsTeamName Congrats, (Team Name)!]]

* Normally posted on Bobby Bonilla Day, the 2021 edition of the annual roast of New York's second team ended up being delayed to late September, as an abnormally strong first half from the Mets that had them up to five games ahead in the NL East gave way to a second half collapse that saw them out of the playoffs again. The intro recaps that even Tree was believing in the team, replaying the Mets segment from the MLB Haters Guide at the All-Star break in monochrome. Then fade to black...:
-->'''Mets Man:''' They said I was dead. ''[fade back in to full color "highlights" of the Mets' second half]'' They put four bullets in the back of my head and called it a suicide. They thought I was lying at the bottom of the Atlantic. The bastards failed to realize one thing....''you can't kill ideas!''\\
\\
Did you miss me, Mets fans? You thought the laughs were over! You thought this was going to be a new era! One without shame or indecency! You believed things were going to be hopeful this time around! What don't you understand? This is far more than an ownership change. [=LOLMets=] is eternal! The joy it brings to millions will never die!

'''Caption''': '''F[-IRST-]-W[-ORLD-] P[-ROBLEMS-] PERSONIFIED-]'''\\

''[Cut to a clip where a young goat is being fed a green leaf in a zoo.]''

'''Headline''': L.A. artist paints over [=LeBron=] James mural after more vandalism\\
* Cuts to clips of irate Lakers fans vandalizing a mural of [=LeBron=] James wearing his #23 Lakers jersey and the damage they caused.*\\

'''Headlines''': Lakers fans help out after second [=LeBron=] James mural vandalized\\
[=LeBron=] James mural in L.A. erased by original artist after another case of vandalism\\

'''Headline''': Why Kobe Bryant Fans Don't Like [=LeBron=] James\\

'''Headline''': [=LeBron=] James on earning Lakers' fans loyalty: 'I signed a four-year deal.'

'''UT''': From the increasingly meddling nature of her ownership to "accidentally" [=CCing=][[note]]Carbon copying your e-mail, meaning its shared within the specific group of people that were shared the e-mail in question[[/note]] Magic Johnson in an e-mail criticizing Magic.\\

'''Headline''': Lakers fans rally at Staples Center to protest team management decisions\\
'''Caption''': FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS PERSONIFIED\\

''*Cut to a clip where a young goat is being fed a green leaf in a zoo.*''

* Moreno is infamous for overpaying players, to the point where Tree was able to make a two-minute long montage of the LA Angels' bad contracts.

'''Headline''': ''[glass breaking]'' '''M[-ETS-]' Z[-ACK-] W[-HEELER ADDRESSES TRADE RUMORS-]: 'I[-T-]'[-S SOMETHING THAT YOU DON-]'[-T WANT TO THINK ABOUT-][='=]'''\

** Specifically, we begin with Javier Baez hitting a short grounder to third. Erik Gonzalez scoops it up and throws it to 1B Will Craig. Craig then proceeds to chase down Baez back to home instead of touching the base and getting the latter out. This allows a runner for the Cubs to come home, which still wouldn't have counted as a run yet because the Cubs had 2 outs already. What ultimately sealed the deal for the Pirates was not one, but TWO botched throws back to first and second, resulting in a double for Baez that should've easily been an out.