History Funny / Trainspotting

--> "Oh, aye, for all the good they've done me, I met as well shove them up my arse" and gives the most sarcastic grimace ever.

* Begbie flipping out at Sick Boy for not bringing cards for them to play and pass the time, telling Sick Boy that [[NeverMyFault it was his responsibility to bring the cards]]. Renton can only stare in confusion.

* Tommy trying to get Renton, Sick Boy and Spud to go on a walk with him up some mountains.

"Oh, aye, for all the good they've done me, I met as well shove them up my arse" and gives the most sarcastic grimace ever.

--> '''Sick Boy:''' For a vegetarian Rents, you're a fucking evil shot.

--> '''[[ArmouredClosetGay Begbie]]:''' I'm not a fucking buftie and that's the end of it.

--> '''Spud:''' Tommy...this is not natural, man.
--> (Cut to Tommy stood in a green field with hills in the background)
--> '''Tommy:''' It's the great outdoors!

--> '''Spud''': Did [Lizzy] go ballistic?
--> ''Subtitles: Was she upset?''
--> '''Tommy''': Big time, absolutely fuckin' radge!
--> ''Subtitles: Very.''

* When Renton [=ODs=], Mother Superior asks dryly if he would "like [him] to call a cab". We soon see a shot of an ambulance speeding through the streets, siren blaring... [[BaitAndSwitch passing by in the distance while Renton lies in the road, waiting for the literal cab Mother Superior called to pick him up and toss his comatose body on the hospital's doorstep.]] Furthermore, the cab driver casually dumps Renton in front of the hospital and snatches the note Swannie has left in Renton's shirt pocket for the far.

* The constant use of the word [[CountryMatters "cunt"]] is taken to such [[UpToEleven extreme levels]] in Begbie's narrative chapters, that at times you can't even tell who he's talking about.

* When Renton [=ODs=] Mother Superior asks dryly if he would "like [him] to call a cab". We soon see a shot of an ambulance speeding through the streets, siren blaring... [[BaitAndSwitch passing by in the distance while Renton lies in the road, waiting for the literal cab Mother Superior called to pick him up and toss his comatose body on the hospital's doorstep.]] Furthermore, the cab driver casually dumps Renton in front of the hospital and snatches the note Swannie has left in Renton's shirt pocket for the far.

* When Renton [=ODs=] Mother Superior asks dryly if he would "like [him] to call a cab". We soon see a shot of an ambulance speeding through the streets, siren blaring... [[BaitAndSwitch passing by in the distance while Renton lies in the road, waiting for the literal cab Mother Superior called to pick him up and toss his comatose body on the hospital's doorstep.]]

* "Perfume" James' OneSceneWonder in the book, where he cheerfully informs Gav, who has given [[TheAlcoholic Second Prize]] a ton of money to paint his living room, that a heavily inebriated Second Prize has just bought a stack of perfume off him.

* The constant use of the word [[CountryMatters "cunt"]] in the book is taken to such [[UpToEleven extreme levels]] in Begbie's narrative chapters, that at times you can't even tell who he's talking about.

!!''Film/{{Trainspotting}}''

* "Perfume" James' OneSceneWonder in the book, where he cheerfully informs Gav, who has given [[TheAlcoholic Second Prize]] a ton of money to paint his living room, that a heavily inebriated Second Prize has just bought a stack of perfume off him.
* Begbie claiming that Renton is 'spoiling it for every cunt' when he says he doesn't want a full English breakfast. The absurdity of the comment just makes it laughable.

!!''Film/T2Trainspotting''
* Spud in telling his support group how he lost his job, his benefits, his home, his girlfriend and his relationship with his son because he kept being an hour late for everything. And what caused the delays? British Summer Time!
* Begbie's bid to escape prison by sustaining a calculated injury goes awry as a prison mate who he agreed to be stabbed by unintentionally stabbed far deeper than expected in the first blow. Because Bedgie originally requested to receive two stabs, the prison mate cluelessly asks if he could stab Begbie a second time while Begbie reels in pain.
* The first fight at the pub between Simon and Renton is hilarious in the creative ways Simon delivers a beating to Renton, all while the only patron drinks on as if this occurrence is par of the course.
** Simon even attempts to use a [[GrievousBottleyHarm glass shard from a bottle]] to stab Renton. [[RealityEnsues It only manages to cut his own hand]].
* While Simon has a heartfelt reminiscent with Renton about their first hit together decades ago, Simon abruptly interrupts the moment by angrily chiding Renton for looking at his wristwatch.
* Begbie's bumbling attempt to teach his reluctant son the ropes of home burglary.
* Renton and Simon's brush with danger at the Unionist club, complete with their unexpectedly successful improvisation of a Unionist song (which banked heavily on repeating the simple but effective "There were no more Catholics left" line). Veronika's perplexed reaction to the excited noises from the club and Renton and Simon's frantic run as soon as they exit the building make the scene.
* High on the adrenaline rush of scoring their first heist in a long time (with cocaine and alcohol added to the mix), Mark and Simon babble continuously about George Best and 1970s football trivia to a stumped Veronika. Her response is to reply the following entirely in her native tongue:
--> '''Veronika:''' (In Bulgarian) You know nothing. You understand nothing. You live in the past. Where I come from the past is something to forget but here it's all you talk about. You are clearly so in love with each other that I feel awkward in your company. Instead of looking at me you should get naked and fuck each other.
** And Mark and Simon predictably pretend to understand her, to her amusement.
* As part of an inquiry for Simon's legal defense at her law firm, Diane professionally queries Veronika on whether she has identifying marks on her buttocks and perineum, the latter of which Veronika responds in confusion as she does not understand the word. When Mark whispers its definition to Veronika, she proceeds to respond in disgust, and then wide-eyed bewilderment as Diane quips with a straight face that Veronika is "not vajazzled".
** When their meeting is concluded, Diane offers a [[CallBack parting comment]] to Mark that [[HypocriticalHumor Veronika is too young for him]].
* Spud's first and last attempt in channeling his addiction to boxing, accompanied by a comedic homage to ''Film/RagingBull'' and a scene of Spud inexplicably punching an instructor in the face after seemingly following instructions.
* Renton's and Begbie's first encounter with each other in years is as funny as it is tense as we get to see how the two slowly come to the realization that their nemesis is sitting right beside them.
* In an attempt to court women at a club, Begbie snags and consumes some Viagra from a warehouse stash, even taking another one right before his confrontation with Renton. The [[BrickJoke Viagra dosage eventually works...but awkwardly]], just as Begbie loses Renton at an empty backroad after a lengthy chase across Old Edinburgh Town.
* Renton and Simon's [[NakedPeopleAreFunny moment in their birthday suits]] after being instructed by Doyle to strip naked in the middle of nowhere [[ShamefulStrip as punishment for crossing his business]]. The two are forced to trek all the way back to Veronika's home in Edinburgh in improvised loinclothes and wellies snagged from a farm, only to end up Veronika's ill-fitting and feminine pajamas and robes. Veronika relishes in the their moment of embarrassment.
--> '''Veronika:''' (Takes picture of Renton and Simon with phone) Hello boys.
--> '''Simon:''' You just...delete that right now.
--> '''Veronika:''' I'll put it on Twitter. [[BlatantLies No one will see]].