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* When observing the Reality 2.0 version of Bosco's gumball machine, Max questions where "the big honkin' ones that let you eat ghosts" are. The Internet appears to mention that said pellets have been removed, as Reality 2.0 caters to a spectral clientele.
-->'''Max:''' AIs are always ''soooo'' PC.


* When Sam is trying to convince his preteen self to be more out-going, young Sam insults his weight. Present Sam then [[DisproportionateRetribution pulls out his gun]], only stopping when the time elevator AI brings up that he's about to cause a paradox.

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* When Sam is trying to convince his preteen self to be more out-going, young Sam insults his weight. Present Sam then [[DisproportionateRetribution [[OffingTheAnnoyance pulls out his gun]], only stopping when the time elevator AI brings up that he's about to cause a paradox.


--> '''Sam''': What conversation?

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--> '''Sam''': '''Max''': What conversation?



--> '''Max''': No, he was pretending to not know about the conversation.

to:

--> '''Max''': '''Sam''': No, he was pretending to not know about the conversation.


--> '''Max:''': Bosco! Sam is standing right here!

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--> '''Max:''': '''Max''': Bosco! Sam is standing right here!

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* [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Naked Bosco]]. That is all.


* [[spoiler:Peepers]] seducing Sybil. No description or series of quotes can do this sequence justice.

to:

* [[spoiler:Peepers]] seducing Sybil. No description or series of quotes can do this sequence justice.justice, although Max does sum up the situation quite nicely.
-->'''Sam''': Max, what's our situation?
-->'''Max''': [[spoiler: Peepers]] is making the move on Sybil. She's totally into it.
-->'''Sam''': Just wanted to make sure my dementia hasn't kicked in early.

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* The second to last bit of the "Do you have any..." gag.
-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any... self-respect?\\
'''Bosco:''' Nay!\\
'''Max:''' Ha ha! Tricked you!\\
'''Bosco:''' ''(In his regular voice)'' No, I understood the question. I understood it all too well.

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* Two of Bosco's new gadgets: the Personal Antipathy Registration Annulment and Non-negational Omnifunctional Identification Device.
--> '''Max''': That's just paranoid.
--> '''Bosco''': Technically, [[FunWithAcronyms yes it is.]]


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* Trying to arrest the Maimtron doesn't work, but not because of the BullyingADragon trope:
--> '''Sam:''' Seriously, you're under arrest! We're police!
--> '''Maimtron:''' "[[Music/TheBangles All the cops in the donut shops say "way-oh-way-oh-way-ooo-aaa-ooo...]]"
--> '''Max:''' That's it! No one quotes "Walk Like An Egyptian" to me and lives!
--> '''Maimtron:''' "[[Music/CultureClub Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?]]"
--> '''Max:''' Yes, and yes.


--> '''Sam:''' Hey Max, do you think we should have driven off before they loaded all the presents.

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--> '''Sam:''' Hey Max, do you think we should have driven off before they loaded all the presents. presents?



to:

* The twist ending:
--> '''Sam:''' Hey Max, do you think we should have driven off before they loaded all the presents.
--> '''Max:''' What's the rush, Sam? [[PlayedForLaughs It's the]] [[WhamLine middle of November!]]


-->'''Max:''' I didn't think it was possible, but he was actually less creepy as the elf.

to:

-->'''Max:''' I didn't think it was possible, but he was he's actually less ''less'' creepy as the elf.




to:

** In the final showdown between Sam and Hugh Bliss, Bliss repeatedly transforms into his bacteria form to escape death. The first time this happens, Max has this to say:
-->'''Max''': My magic 8-ball '''told''' me to bring my anti-bacterial soap today! '''WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?!?'''


--> '''Maimtron:''' 867-5309.

to:

--> '''Maimtron:''' 867-5309.[[JennysNumber 867-5309]].

Added DiffLines:

* The president recalls the duo entering the White House before Whizzer entered, calling them Interpreter imposters:
--> '''Sam''': Were they walking around, examining everything, and engaging everyone in pointless conversations?
--> '''President''': Those were the ones!
--> '''Max''': Those accursed clones! When will their devilish mimicry end?
* The president even asking for assistance from interpreters to understand Whizzer in the first place, who speaks perfect English.
** You can completely change Whizzer's speech about the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Mount Rushmore Soda Abuse Prevention Program]] to the president, to...
--> '''Sam''': "Prepare to die, capitalist oppressor! Men, launch the dragoons! Our victory is at hand! Aim destructo-beam at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Fire on my mark. 3...2..."
--> '''Whizzer''': Wait! I heard that! That's not what I said at all!
--> '''Sam''': [[BlatantLies I must have misheard that.]]
** Or this:
--> '''Sam''': [[HoYay "Don't you realize that I have always loved you?"]]


* Driving around, and pulling people over can have hilarious moments, such as when Max yells at the driver to pull over:
--> '''Max''': This is your first and final warning! Pull over, or die!
** And this, after shooting the driver's taillight:
--> '''Sam''': Your taillight's busted.
--> '''Driver''': But you're the ones who broke it!
--> '''Max''': Your point being?
** And some of the other options:
--> '''Sam''': According to our homemade radar gun, you were just exceeding the speed of light.
--> '''Driver''': That's not physically possible.
--> '''Max''': Oh, would you like me to show you what's physically possible?
* This, after Sam got hypnotized:
--> '''Bosco''': Call the CIA, call Interpol, call Mickey Rooney!
--> '''Sam''': ''(Hypnotized)'' Must...deliver...''(Breaks for a second)'' Mickey Rooney?? ''(Resumes)''...videos...



** You can actually attempt to arrest Bosco for this:
--> '''Sam''': Hands in the air Bosco! You're coming with us!
--> '''Bosco''': Good heavens! What is the meaning of this??
--> '''Max''': We're taking you in for masquerading as a man of class and distinction.
--> '''Bosco''': What the devil? Surely you jest?
--> '''Sam''': Yes, surely we do. On the bright side, you can add the police to your long list of paranoia induced nightmares subjects.
* This:
--> '''Sam''': Do you have any...[[SchmuckBait ketchup?]]
--> '''Bosco''': Nope...oh wait!
--> '''Max''': Got you!
--> '''Bosco''': Blast! Drat! Dash it all!



* At this point, Bosco's B-Tads system won't restrict you from using your gun in the store anymore, so you can shoot your gun in the store, which produces hilarious reactions from Bosco:
--> '''Bosco''': He's got a gun, and he doesn't know how to use it!



* Try taking your megaphone out, during the chase scene.
--> '''Max''': Pull over! (beat) Oh wait, I forgot we were the ones being chased. Never mind!



-->'''Bosco:''' ''(dressed as '''his mother''')'' Didn't I tell you boys not to track mud in the store?

to:

-->'''Bosco:''' ''(dressed as '''his mother''')'' Didn't I tell you boys not to track mud in the store?store? I just vacuumed!



-->'''Bosco''': Does my package sound like it's ticking to you?

to:

-->'''Bosco''': Does Hey guys, does my package sound like it's ticking to you?


Added DiffLines:

* You can drive Bosco absolutely mad by constantly saying things that involves his store, which includes the [[CallBack "Do you have any..."]] sequence:
--> '''Sam''': Do you have any-
--> '''Bosco''': '''''[[SuddenlyShouting NO! THIS AIN'T A STORE!]]'''''
--> '''Sam''': It's not?
--> '''Bosco''': '''''NO!'''''
--> '''Sam''': Oh, why didn't ya say so?
--> '''Bosco''': '''''AHHH!'''''
--> '''Max''': A trillion dollars worth of detection equipment, and he still didn't see that coming from a mile away.


Added DiffLines:

* Sam needed to get into a display case on the wall containing a letter by the president in Stinky's restaurant, and asked Max to distract Stinky.
--> '''Sam''': Max, distract Stinky for me. ''(Starts unscrewing the display case)''
--> '''Max''': Oh my God! Look Stinky!
--> '''Stinky''': Ahh! What, what!?
--> '''Max''': Somebody's trying to break into your display case!
--> '''Stinky''': Ahhh.
--> '''Sam''': Real smooth, Little buddy...

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