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Changed line(s) 1087 (click to see context) from:
** Due to the copious number used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
to:
** Due to the copious number of used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
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[[folder:Series IX ([=SCPs=] 8000-8999)]]
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8595 SCP-8595]], Everyone's a Critic, is a cockroach that reviews all of its meals like a restaurant critic, and refuses to eat if it thinks the food's not up to par, resulting in the Foundation putting more and more effort in to present its meals like restaurant food, going from a cafe offering a Granny Smith apple, which it gave one star, to a mock-minimalist concept cafe with "Crisp tortilla with powdered oaxaca cheese and spices," (Nacho Cheese-flavored Doritos) "Deconstructed BLT," (a leaf of lettuce, a slice of bacon, a slice of tomato, and four Ritz crackers served in separate bowls), and "Dessert Eggs" (various Jelly-Belly branded jelly beans), which it gave two stars, to a high-end American steak house with beef tartare, a Wagyu tasting, and prime rib topped with lobster meat and accompanied by sides, which it gave no stars. Eventually, after looking over its reviews, they decided to bring in Site-322's dumpster and put it in a supply closet. SCP-8595 emerged 2 hours and 19 minutes later, with a one-word, five star review ("Scrumptious.").
[[/folder]]
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8595 SCP-8595]], Everyone's a Critic, is a cockroach that reviews all of its meals like a restaurant critic, and refuses to eat if it thinks the food's not up to par, resulting in the Foundation putting more and more effort in to present its meals like restaurant food, going from a cafe offering a Granny Smith apple, which it gave one star, to a mock-minimalist concept cafe with "Crisp tortilla with powdered oaxaca cheese and spices," (Nacho Cheese-flavored Doritos) "Deconstructed BLT," (a leaf of lettuce, a slice of bacon, a slice of tomato, and four Ritz crackers served in separate bowls), and "Dessert Eggs" (various Jelly-Belly branded jelly beans), which it gave two stars, to a high-end American steak house with beef tartare, a Wagyu tasting, and prime rib topped with lobster meat and accompanied by sides, which it gave no stars. Eventually, after looking over its reviews, they decided to bring in Site-322's dumpster and put it in a supply closet. SCP-8595 emerged 2 hours and 19 minutes later, with a one-word, five star review ("Scrumptious.").
[[/folder]]
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Changed line(s) 1087 (click to see context) from:
** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
to:
** Due to the copious number used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
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Changed line(s) 1087 (click to see context) from:
** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
to:
** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become become better drivers as they get MORE drunk]].
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Changed line(s) 1085 (click to see context) from:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out, who then grabs it from the car while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from Barles Barkley, the "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car'', performing some advanced drifting techniques along the way. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
to:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out, who then grabs it from the car while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from Barles Barkley, the "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks Barkley comes to pick up the captive capybara drives in a ''rally car'', performing some advanced drifting techniques along the way. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
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Changed line(s) 1087 (click to see context) from:
** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies become become better drivers as they get ''more'' drunk.
to:
** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies [[DrunkenMaster become become better drivers as they get ''more'' drunk.MORE drunk]].
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Changed line(s) 1085 (click to see context) from:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out, who then grabs it from the car while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
to:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out, who then grabs it from the car while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from Barles Barkley, the "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''.car'', performing some advanced drifting techniques along the way. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
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** Due to the copious used bottles of Jack Daniel's found in Barkley's car, as well as the dehydrated status of SCP-7398-1 instances after finishing their drives, the Foundation theorizes that these capybara cabbies become become better drivers as they get ''more'' drunk.
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Changed line(s) 1083,1084 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7398 SCP-7398]], Cabby Bara.
** Intoxicated persons in São Paulo, Brazil who just got out of a social function and attempt to use a rideshare app instead get rerouted to the "Cabbybara" app, which provides them with a much sooner ride. The vehicle in question is driven by a ''capybara'', hence the PunnyTitle. Everyone who rides with this inexplicably drive-capable capybara falls asleep as the ride begins, and wakes back up as they arrive. Then the capybara gets out of the vehicle and behaves just like a non-anomalous capybara, albeit looking a bit thirsty.
** Intoxicated persons in São Paulo, Brazil who just got out of a social function and attempt to use a rideshare app instead get rerouted to the "Cabbybara" app, which provides them with a much sooner ride. The vehicle in question is driven by a ''capybara'', hence the PunnyTitle. Everyone who rides with this inexplicably drive-capable capybara falls asleep as the ride begins, and wakes back up as they arrive. Then the capybara gets out of the vehicle and behaves just like a non-anomalous capybara, albeit looking a bit thirsty.
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7398 SCP-7398]], Cabby Bara.Cabbybara.
** Intoxicated persons in the Brazilian state of SãoPaulo, Brazil Paulo who just got out of a social function and attempt to use a rideshare app instead get rerouted to the "Cabbybara" app, which provides them with a much sooner ride. The vehicle in question is driven by a ''capybara'', hence the PunnyTitle. Everyone who rides with this inexplicably drive-capable capybara falls asleep as the ride begins, and wakes back up as they arrive. Then the capybara gets out of the vehicle and behaves just like a non-anomalous capybara, albeit looking a bit thirsty.
** Intoxicated persons in the Brazilian state of São
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Changed line(s) 1085 (click to see context) from:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out and then grabbing it while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
to:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out and out, who then grabbing grabs it from the car while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
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Changed line(s) 1085 (click to see context) from:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
to:
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, by getting a D-class drunk to draw it out and then grabbing it while exclaiming "I got the dog!", they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
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Added DiffLines:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-7398 SCP-7398]], Cabby Bara.
** Intoxicated persons in São Paulo, Brazil who just got out of a social function and attempt to use a rideshare app instead get rerouted to the "Cabbybara" app, which provides them with a much sooner ride. The vehicle in question is driven by a ''capybara'', hence the PunnyTitle. Everyone who rides with this inexplicably drive-capable capybara falls asleep as the ride begins, and wakes back up as they arrive. Then the capybara gets out of the vehicle and behaves just like a non-anomalous capybara, albeit looking a bit thirsty.
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
---> "As Cabbybara is affiliated with the BBB, it is extended legal protections, such as protection from kidnapping of employees. This is not an uncommon practice, as capybaras are considered by their clients to be [[CutenessProximity 'cute' and 'friend-shaped']]."
** Intoxicated persons in São Paulo, Brazil who just got out of a social function and attempt to use a rideshare app instead get rerouted to the "Cabbybara" app, which provides them with a much sooner ride. The vehicle in question is driven by a ''capybara'', hence the PunnyTitle. Everyone who rides with this inexplicably drive-capable capybara falls asleep as the ride begins, and wakes back up as they arrive. Then the capybara gets out of the vehicle and behaves just like a non-anomalous capybara, albeit looking a bit thirsty.
** When the Foundation gets one of these capy cabbies captured, they get an email from "Cap'n Bara" of the "Bara Business Bureau", who writes them an email in a stereotypical New Yorker accent, offering information about the BBB if they return the captured 'bara to the BBB. The BBB is headquartered in the ''Staten Island Zoo''. The capybara who picks up the captive capybara drives a ''rally car''. And this is not the first time the BBB's had one of their capybaras abducted, apparently:
---> "As Cabbybara is affiliated with the BBB, it is extended legal protections, such as protection from kidnapping of employees. This is not an uncommon practice, as capybaras are considered by their clients to be [[CutenessProximity 'cute' and 'friend-shaped']]."
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** A tube of Russian Roulette Drops, which dispenses a sugar pellet into the mouth when bitten down on that quickly dissolves to reveal the hidden flavor inside. Several researchers decide to play, each one taking a turn with the tube. Dr. Henjik is the unlucky one whose pellet tastes of 85% pure capsaicin and has to be taken to the medical ward for breathing issues. The attending researcher unsympathetically writes, "Dr. Henjik is a great big baby."
to:
** A tube of Russian Roulette Drops, which dispenses a sugar pellet into the mouth when bitten down on that quickly dissolves to reveal the hidden flavor inside. Several researchers decide to play, each one taking a turn with the tube. Dr. Henjik is the unlucky one whose pellet tastes of is filled with [[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce 85% pure capsaicin capsaicin]] and has to be taken to the medical ward for breathing issues. The attending researcher unsympathetically writes, "Dr. Henjik is a great big baby."
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Changed line(s) 132 (click to see context) from:
** A tube of Russian Roulette Drops, which dispenses a sugar pellet into the mouth when bitten down on that quickly dissolves to reveal the hidden flavor inside. Several researchers decided to play, each one taking a turn with the tube. Dr. Henjik was the unlucky one whose pellet tasted of 85% pure capsaicin and had to be taken to the medical ward. The attending researcher unsympathetically writes, "Dr. Henjik is a great big baby."
to:
** A tube of Russian Roulette Drops, which dispenses a sugar pellet into the mouth when bitten down on that quickly dissolves to reveal the hidden flavor inside. Several researchers decided decide to play, each one taking a turn with the tube. Dr. Henjik was is the unlucky one whose pellet tasted tastes of 85% pure capsaicin and had has to be taken to the medical ward.ward for breathing issues. The attending researcher unsympathetically writes, "Dr. Henjik is a great big baby."
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** A tube of Russian Roulette Drops, which dispenses a sugar pellet into the mouth when bitten down on that quickly dissolves to reveal the hidden flavor inside. Several researchers decided to play, each one taking a turn with the tube. Dr. Henjik was the unlucky one whose pellet tasted of 85% pure capsaicin and had to be taken to the medical ward. The attending researcher unsympathetically writes, "Dr. Henjik is a great big baby."
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Unfortunately, the Mad Scientist image was removed.
Changed line(s) 583 (click to see context) from:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2702 SCP-2702]], Professor Abnormal's Science Lab. What if Series/BillNyeTheScienceGuy knew too much about The Foundation? The MadScientist on the page image makes it even funnier.
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2702 SCP-2702]], Professor Abnormal's Science Lab. What if Series/BillNyeTheScienceGuy knew too much about The Foundation? The MadScientist on the page image makes it even funnier.Foundation?
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Changed line(s) 833 (click to see context) from:
** ''Film/{{Cats}}'' has Macavity being arrested and the ListOfTransgressions lasts for '''3805 hours and 33 minutes''', which the Foundation's Legal department says was helpful to learn laws from basically every civilization, including alien ones. Their only gripe is that "we would be happier if we hadn't seen Idris Elba defecate into a box".
to:
** ''Film/{{Cats}}'' has Macavity being arrested and the ListOfTransgressions lasts for '''3805 hours and 33 minutes''', minutes''' (about 158 days), which the Foundation's Legal department says was helpful to learn laws from basically every civilization, including alien ones. Their only gripe is that "we would be happier if we hadn't seen Idris Elba defecate into a box".
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Chained sinkholes.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-586 SCP-586]], Inscribable Object. A small green piece of pipe that makes people use {{Malaproper}}s when [[RougeAnglesOfSatin writhing]] [[PaintingTheMedium about it.]] [[SelfDemonstratingArticle Once you've gotten juiced to translating the typographical eras]], it's hilarious.
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-586 SCP-586]], Inscribable Object. A small green piece of pipe that makes people use {{Malaproper}}s when [[RougeAnglesOfSatin writhing]] [[PaintingTheMedium writhing about it.]] it]]. [[SelfDemonstratingArticle Once you've gotten juiced to translating the typographical eras]], it's hilarious.
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1808 SCP-1808]] seems like another ArtifactOfDoom, [[BrownNote making people who wear it grow their bones uncontrollably]] and torturing them psychologically. It would've been pure NightmareFuel....except that it's based on ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''. And the way it psychologically tortures its prey? Making them [[CuteButCacophonic hear]] [[AnnoyingLaugh [=SpongeBob=]'s laugh]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice ad nauseam.]]
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1808 SCP-1808]] seems like another ArtifactOfDoom, [[BrownNote making people who wear it grow their bones uncontrollably]] and torturing them psychologically. It would've been pure NightmareFuel....except that it's based on ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''. And the way it psychologically tortures its prey? Making them [[CuteButCacophonic hear]] hear [[AnnoyingLaugh [=SpongeBob=]'s laugh]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice SpongeBob's laugh ad nauseam.]]
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* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3309 SCP-3309]] is the [[NoticingTheFourthWall pataphysical]] phenomenon of the [[Recap/SCPFoundationSCPs001To199 S. Andrew Swann]] [[AuthorPowers entities]] deleting [=SCPs=] below the wiki's quality standards. The Foundation decides to exploit this, vandalizing articles on Keter-class [=SCPs=] so they will be deleted. One such Keter SCP is [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4463 SCP-4463]], an anomalous effect where desert in the United States turns to swampland. The Foundation turns it into [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4463-j this beauty]].
to:
* [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3309 SCP-3309]] is the [[NoticingTheFourthWall pataphysical]] phenomenon of the [[Recap/SCPFoundationSCPs001To199 S. Andrew Swann]] [[AuthorPowers Swann entities]] deleting [=SCPs=] below the wiki's quality standards. The Foundation decides to exploit this, vandalizing articles on Keter-class [=SCPs=] so they will be deleted. One such Keter SCP is [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4463 SCP-4463]], an anomalous effect where desert in the United States turns to swampland. The Foundation turns it into [[https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4463-j this beauty]].
Changed line(s) 805 (click to see context) from:
** A proposal for ''Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}'' is rejected as well, for [[MediumAwareness obvious]] [[AxCrazy reasons]].
to:
** A proposal for ''Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}'' is rejected as well, for [[MediumAwareness obvious]] [[AxCrazy obvious reasons]].
Changed line(s) 829 (click to see context) from:
** Testing on the first episode of ''Series/FatherTed'' results in five instances of SCP-3922-A trying to arrest Ted, Dougal, and Jack, [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat followed shortly by five very battered people]] [[MuggingTheMonster fleeing an angry Father Jack.]] The now three-hour episode ends with another SCP-3922-A going through Father Jack's house and attempting to confiscate his alcohol, [[BolivianArmyEnding only for an enraged Father Jack to come bursting into the house]].
to:
** Testing on the first episode of ''Series/FatherTed'' results in five instances of SCP-3922-A trying to arrest Ted, Dougal, and Jack, [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat followed shortly by five very battered people]] [[MuggingTheMonster people fleeing an angry Father Jack.]] The now three-hour episode ends with another SCP-3922-A going through Father Jack's house and attempting to confiscate his alcohol, [[BolivianArmyEnding only for an enraged Father Jack to come bursting into the house]].
