History Funny / RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves

* Azeem's frustration with typical UsefulNotes/BritishWeather:

-->'''Robin''': ''You''. You travel ten thousand miles with me to fulfil a vow and then leave me to be ''butchered''?
-->'''Azeem''': I fulfil my vows when I choose.

-->'''Robin''':

(Duncan cringes in fear.)

* During their fight, John falls into the water and starts drowning because he can't swim. Robin offers to help him if John surrenders. John quickly agrees...only to find that the water is only knee deep.

** Gets an extra bit of funny when they finally speak, and she tries to play it cool and ask "What are you doing here?" as if she doesn't know that her old friend Robin of Locksley is Robin Hood. He replies, "Taking a lady's advice." (This is a reference to a funny moment from earlier in the film, where Marian asks him, as a personal favor to her, to please take a bath.)

* During the marriage of Robin and Marian, King Richard returns from the crusades. Every last person bows, except Azeem, who looks around, totally bemused.
----

-->'''Robin''': ''You''. You travel ten thousand miles with me to fulfil a vow and then leave me to be ''butchered''.

* Azeem effortlessly out-snarking Robin.
-->'''Robin''': Look, mistletoe. Many a maiden's lost her resolve to me thanks to this little plant.
-->'''Azeem''': In my country, we talk to our women. We do not drug them with plants.
* The catapult scene, to get Robin and Azeem in the castle. It's built up with epic music and a typical exchange - "Is she worth it?" [[CallBack "Worth dying for."]] - then they go flying over... and land in a hay wagon, with chickens going flying upwards. Then there's the priceless reaction from Will Scarlet.
-->'''Will''': Fuck me, he cleared it!
* The Sheriff is storming around Mortianna's quarters, flailing a whip at the walls, and ends by picking up a knife and stabbing several pieces of raw meat on a plate. Mortianna, who's stopped dead in the middle of whatever ritual she's currently performing to watch all this, responds thus: "[[DeadpanSnarker Something vexes thee?]]"
** Not to mention his reaction to this comment, his body language and expression basically a giant Medieval "DUH!"
* This outburst from the Sheriff:
-->'''Nottingham''': Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings...and ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking call off Christmas]]!''
** Extra funny when you know that Creator/AlanRickman ad-libbed the bit about Christmas, and everyone found it so hysterical that [[ThrowItIn they kept it]].
* During the FinalBattle, a guard on the castle battlements charges Azeem, who pulls out his sword and makes a few threatening gestures with it. The guard immediately turns around and runs away.
** Also during the FinalBattle, we get this exchange:
--->'''Baron''': My Lord Sheriff, is this your idea of control?\\
'''Sheriff''': Shut up, you twit!

* Azeem's frustration with typical UsefulNotes/BritishWeather:
-->'''Azeem''': Is there no ''sun'' in this cursed country?!
* Azeem handing a telescope to Robin, who promptly is wigged out by this strange device he's never encountered before. (In this case, "wigged out" = "trying to stab the men who are over a mile away because the telescope shows them close up".)
-->'''Azeem''': How did your ''uneducated kind'' ever take Jerusalem???\\
'''Robin''': God knows.
* After Robin cuts the Sheriff's cheek during an early confrontation, some unidentified smartass in the castle evidently has a statue of the Sheriff defaced to include the new scar. The Sheriff takes notice of this and distractedly tries to buff it out during one of his rants, and during the StormingTheCastle sequence Robin is momentarily pulled out of the moment when he stops and does a DoubleTake at the scar on the statue.
** And later, during their fight at the climax, the Sheriff gives Robin a similar cut (on the chin), gestures to his scar, and says, "[[EvilIsPetty Now]] we're [[MakesUsEven even]]!"

* Friar Tuck's first encounter with gunpowder.
* The Sheriff's epic eye roll when Robin crashes his wedding.

* The Sheriff and his cousin, Guy of Gisborne, eye-rolling during church when the bishop asks for blessings for the Sheriff. [[FridgeBrilliance Considering they're devil worshippers, this isn't surprising.]]
* "There was a rich man from Nottingham who tried to cross a river! What a dope, he tripped on a rope! Now look at him shiver!"
* As Robin escapes the castle, he knocks a guard over with a sack of potatoes. Just when this guy's day can't get any worse, the Sheriff repeatedly punches him, much to the amusement of the onlookers. Then he chases them off, ripping his cloak in the process.

* Every time someone talks about Robin defeating six of the Sheriff's men single-handedly, the number of men involved changes. Gisbourne tries to downplay the damage by suggesting there were only four men with him, while Wulf, who probably can't count, doubles the number, likely to impress his father, who's preparing to kick Robin's ass.

-->'''Nottingham''': Cancel all the kitchen scraps for the lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings... and ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking call off Christmas]]!''
** Extra funny when you know that Alan Rickman ad-libbed the bit about Christmas, and everyone found it so hysterical that [[ThrowItIn they kept it]].

'''Robin''': God only knows.

* The Sheriff and his cousin, Guy of Gisbourne, eye-rolling during church when the bishop asks for blessings for the Sheriff. [[FridgeBrilliance Considering they're devil worshippers, this isn't surprising.]]

* In a very black comedy way, the Sheriff of Nottingham ComicallyMissingThePoint about having "something pure" once in his life, as he begins trying to rape Marian in the middle of their wedding ceremony, with the corrupt bishop performing the service looking on in increasing horror. In particular, the shot of the Sheriff arching up his hips, planting his feet against Marian's ankles, and dropping suddenly to spread her legs is darkly, disturbingly hysterical.

* During the marriage of Robin and Marian, King Richard returns from the crusades. Every last person bows, except Azeem, who looks around, totally bemused.

* Marian stumbles over [[spoiler: Robin bathing in a waterfall and gets an eyeful.]] Helped by her handmaid happily commenting, "Oh, my lady, look!"

* During the marriage of [[spoiler: Robin and Marian, King Richard returns from the crusades.]] Every last person bows, except Azeem, who looks around, totally bemused.

-->'''Will''': "Fuck me, he cleared it!"

* During the marriage of [[spoiler: Robin and Marian,King Richard returns from the crusades.]] Every last person bows, except Azeem, who looks around, totally bemused.

* The Sheriff is storming around Mortianna's quarters, flailing a whip at the walls, and ends by picking up a knife and stabbing several pieces of raw meat on a plate. Mortianna's response: "[[DeadpanSnarker Something vexes thee?]]"

-->'''Azeem''': How did your uneducated kind ever take Jerusalem?\\