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-0-> '''Jared''': What am I doing? ''(beat)'' I want to kill a dinosaur, that's what. ''(Joof uses an ICE spell)'' Hit him with the Ice Age, Joof!

to:

-0-> ---> '''Jared''': What am I doing? ''(beat)'' I want to kill a dinosaur, that's what. ''(Joof uses an ICE spell)'' Hit him with the Ice Age, Joof!



--> '''Jared''': Oh, this is the cave that normally has... magic. Instead, it's the GLOVE! *Laughs like a feral monkey*

to:

--> '''Jared''': Oh, this is the cave that normally has... magic. Instead, it's the GLOVE! *Laughs ''(laughs like a feral monkey* monkey)''



--> '''Jared''': Okay, so... my house, one treasure. *opens chest* [[CallBack 10 arrow-]]
--> '''Jared''': *[[RageQuit Shakes his head and tosses his headset down onto the desk before walking offscreen and screaming]]*

to:

--> '''Jared''': Okay, so... my house, one treasure. *opens chest* ''(opens chest)'' [[CallBack 10 arrow-]]
--> '''Jared''': *[[RageQuit Shakes ''([[RageQuit shakes his head and tosses his headset down onto the desk before walking offscreen and screaming]]*screaming]])''


[[folder: Joke Review Scores]]

to:

[[folder: Joke [[folder:Joke Review Scores]]



[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyMysticQuest ... WHOA, WAIT A SECOND!]]

to:

[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyMysticQuest ...'''Jared''':[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyMysticQuest ... WHOA, WAIT A SECOND!]]



[[AC: Two Worlds and Two Worlds II]]

to:

[[AC: Two Worlds and Two Worlds II]]
Worlds]]



''*Cut to Jared standing in front of his refrigerator with the freezer door open.*''\\

to:

''*Cut ''(cut to Jared standing in front of his refrigerator with the freezer door open.*''\\open)''\\



''*Cut to Jared running his hands through his sink's water.*''\\

to:

''*Cut ''(cut to Jared running his hands through his sink's water.*''\\water)''\\



''*Cut to Jared reading Maxim.*''\\

to:

''*Cut ''(cut to Jared reading Maxim.*''\\Maxim)''\\




[[AC: Two Worlds II]]



-->'''Jared:''' Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].

[[AC: Hydlide ]]

to:

-->'''Jared:''' -->'''Jared''': Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].

[[AC: Hydlide ]]
Hydlide]]



** "[[AWinnerIsYou Congratulations! My reward is these two frames of animation]]!"
** "These trees are trying to kill me. Fuck you, nature."

to:

** * "[[AWinnerIsYou Congratulations! My reward is these two frames of animation]]!"
** * "These trees are trying to kill me. Fuck you, nature."
"

[[AC: Alone in the Dark (360)]]

* "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."

[[AC: Pocky & Rocky]]

* Jared starts his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrEiTEtgiw review]] with a shot of him staring intently at the screen as he plays. He is wordlessly joined by WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer, also staring intently as they play. After a third cut, the silence is abruptly broken when Peeb startles Jared.
-->'''PBG''': ''(after ten seconds of silence)'' We're playing Pocky and--\\
'''Jared''': JESUS! ''(SmashCut to Jared's opening song)''

[[AC: Final Fantasy: Mystic Quuest]]

* In regards to one of the bosses:
--> '''Jared''': Now I've heard of the headless horseman, but the headless horseman and the headless ''horse''? ...how do they know where they're going?



[[AC: Alone in the Dark (360)]]

* "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."

[[AC: Pocky & Rocky]]

* Jared starts his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrEiTEtgiw review]] with a shot of him staring intently at the screen as he plays. He is wordlessly joined by WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer, also staring intently as they play. After a third cut, the silence is abruptly broken when Peeb startles Jared.
-->'''PBG:''' ''*after ten seconds of silence*'' We're playing Pocky and--\\
'''Jared:''' JESUS! ''*SmashCut to Jared's opening song*''

[[AC: Final Fantasy: Mystic Quuest]]

* In regards to one of the bosses:
--> '''Jared''': Now I've heard of the headless horseman, but the headless horseman and the headless ''horse''? ...how do they know where they're going?



-->'''Jared:''' Basically, don't play as a breeder ant, it sucks. What's the point if you can't even breed? It doesn't matter if you see a cute lady ant and you're all like "ayyy girl, whassup, d'you wanna fuck?"

to:

-->'''Jared:''' -->'''Jared''': Basically, don't play as a breeder ant, it sucks. What's the point if you can't even breed? It doesn't matter if you see a cute lady ant and you're all like "ayyy girl, whassup, d'you wanna fuck?"



--> '''Jared:''' ''(sexy voice)'' Hey there baaaaby! Don't I look SEX-EEE? You wanna come over and plaaay? (Drops the "Mega Man X" cartridge, revealing "Mega Man X7") AAAAGH-I GOTCHA!!!

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': ''(sexy voice)'' Hey there baaaaby! Don't I look SEX-EEE? You wanna come over and plaaay? (Drops the "Mega Man X" cartridge, revealing "Mega Man X7") AAAAGH-I GOTCHA!!!



--> '''Jared''': *Tosses Controller in Rage* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they gave up, so do I!]]

to:

--> '''Jared''': *Tosses Controller ''(tosses controller in Rage* rage)'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they gave up, so do I!]]



---> '''Jared:''' WHAT... the [[SoundEffectBleep f**k?!]]

to:

---> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': WHAT... the [[SoundEffectBleep f**k?!]]



-->'''Jared:''' Oh my God, [[HeelRealization I've become a drug lord!]]... [[EvilFeelsGood Nice]].

to:

-->'''Jared:''' -->'''Jared''': Oh my God, [[HeelRealization I've become a drug lord!]]... [[EvilFeelsGood Nice]].



* At the very end: "Hey Liverpool...SUCK IT!" *fires cannon*.

to:

* At the very end: "Hey Liverpool...end:
--> '''Jared''': Hey Liverpool...
SUCK IT!" *fires cannon*.
IT! ''(fires cannon)''



--> '''Jared:''' And yes, it ''does'' get worse!...

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': And yes, it ''does'' get worse!...



--> '''Jared:''' Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.



--> '''Jared:''' Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]






--> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''

to:

--> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly ''(slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''handbook)''



--> '''Jared''': Tiamat, what?! ''*Falls off of his seat*'' Aren't they level one?! And three of them suck?!

to:

--> '''Jared''': Tiamat, what?! ''*Falls ''(falls off of his seat*'' seat)'' Aren't they level one?! And three of them suck?!



--> '''Jared''': Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* Do not look that up.

to:

--> '''Jared''': Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* ''(beat)'' Do not look that up.



--> '''Jared''': I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''

to:

--> '''Jared''': I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue ''(cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''
off)''



--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:''(trying to log in)'' Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!" ''(game load glitches)'' Ah, what the hell?! ''(resumes logging in)'' [[OverlyLongGag Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!"]] ''(finally logs in)'' Ah, there we go. ''(game fails to load)'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere F*** it, I'm going to bed.]]]]

to:

--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:''(trying to log in)'' Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!" Dammit! ''(game load glitches)'' Ah, what the hell?! ''(resumes logging in)'' [[OverlyLongGag Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!"]] ''(finally logs in)'' Ah, there we go. ''(game fails to load)'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere F*** it, I'm going to bed.]]]]



--> "Hey [[spoiler: little girl]], let me come help you. Just a second (loads gun), okay let me come help."

to:

--> "Hey ---> '''Jared''': Hey [[spoiler: little girl]], let me come help you. Just a second (loads gun), okay let me come help."



-->"This man has been talking for ''two hours''."

to:

-->"This -->'''Jared''': This man has been talking for ''two hours''."



-->I hate that that just happened.

to:

-->I ---->'''Jared''': I hate that that just happened.



-->[Drops controller after reading hint]
-->'''Jared:''' You ARE the old man!

to:

-->[Drops --->''(drops controller after reading hint]
-->'''Jared:'''
hint)''
--->'''Jared''':
You ARE the old man!



--> What am I doing? [{{Beat}}] I want to kill a dinosaur, that's what. [''Joof uses an ICE spell''] Hit him with the Ice Age, Joof!

to:

--> -0-> '''Jared''': What am I doing? [{{Beat}}] ''(beat)'' I want to kill a dinosaur, that's what. [''Joof ''(Joof uses an ICE spell''] spell)'' Hit him with the Ice Age, Joof!



-->'''Jared:''' [[TemptingFate Now, with FAST on, Peeb's gonna hit for a lot-]]
-->[Astos uses the RUB spell on Peeb for instant death]
-->[{{beat}}]
-->'''Jared:''' [high-pitched scream]

to:

-->'''Jared:''' --->'''Jared''': [[TemptingFate Now, with FAST on, Peeb's gonna hit for a lot-]]
-->[Astos --->''(Astos uses the RUB spell on Peeb for instant death]
-->[{{beat}}]
-->'''Jared:''' [high-pitched scream]
death)''
--->''(beat)''
--->'''Jared''': ''(high-pitched scream)''



-->'''Jared:''' ...hit me with the Bubsy
-->*precisely one one-liner later*
-->*dramatic zoom in to Jared's face* '''Jared:''' I've made a huge mistake.

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ...-->'''Jared''': ...hit me with the Bubsy
-->*precisely -->''(precisely one one-liner later*
-->*dramatic
later)''
-->'''Jared''': ''(dramatic
zoom in to Jared's face* '''Jared:''' face)'' I've made a huge mistake.



-->[[spoiler:'''Yuri:''' I love you so much that I even touch myself with the pen I stole from you.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Jared:''' [[{{Beat}} ..............]]''nice.'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''Yuri:''' I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside of you.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Jared:''' And you always make it ''immediately'' weird!]]

to:

-->[[spoiler:'''Yuri:''' --->[[spoiler:'''Yuri''': I love you so much that I even touch myself with the pen I stole from you.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Jared:''' [[{{Beat}} ..............]]''nice.--->[[spoiler:'''Jared''': .............. ''Nice.'']]
-->[[spoiler:'''Yuri:''' --->[[spoiler:'''Yuri''': I just want to pull your skin open and crawl inside of you.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Jared:''' --->[[spoiler:'''Jared''': And you always make it ''immediately'' weird!]]



-->'''Jared''': ''I should've worn shorts!''

to:

-->'''Jared''': --->'''Jared''': ''I should've worn shorts!''



--> Rathalos! Show them your true form! Do it! (*''Rathalos transforms and proceeds to CurbStompBattle Ramos' Gym''*)

to:

--> '''Jared''': Rathalos! Show them your true form! Do it! (*''Rathalos transforms and proceeds to CurbStompBattle Ramos' Gym''*)


[[AC: General]]



* Jared's reaction to Gandohar in ''Two Worlds'' saying about another character that "They call him Ho." has to be seen to be believed, the line's [[SoBadItsGood hilarious enough]] [[NarmCharm on it's own]] but his reaction to it really sells it.
** The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
** Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
** Jared is a little ''too'' enthusiastic about the joke where the sword hits sound like bad KungFoley where he pretends to stab himself with the dagger. Joke's silly enough, only it's not pretend. [[https://youtu.be/cACL3jduFxE?t=9m35s As his commentary reveals]], he ''actually'' ended up ruining his shirt and slashing himself with the dagger, enough to draw blood--this makes it equal parts suffering for one's art and the bladed equivalent of RecklessGunUsage. It's funny because Jared's first reaction was apparently "That's weird, why am I feeling a breeze?" instead of anything painful.
** "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."
* In ''Two Worlds'', Jared mocks the main character's [[CaptainObvious captain obvious]] statements.

to:


[[AC: Two Worlds and Two Worlds II]]

* The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
* Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
* Jared's reaction to Gandohar in ''Two Worlds'' saying about another character that "They call him Ho." has to be seen to be believed, the line's [[SoBadItsGood hilarious enough]] [[NarmCharm on it's own]] but his reaction to it really sells it.
** The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
** Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
**
* Jared is a little ''too'' enthusiastic about the joke where the sword hits sound like bad KungFoley where he pretends to stab himself with the dagger. Joke's silly enough, only it's not pretend. [[https://youtu.be/cACL3jduFxE?t=9m35s As his commentary reveals]], he ''actually'' ended up ruining his shirt and slashing himself with the dagger, enough to draw blood--this makes it equal parts suffering for one's art and the bladed equivalent of RecklessGunUsage. It's funny because Jared's first reaction was apparently "That's weird, why am I feeling a breeze?" instead of anything painful.
** "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."
* In ''Two Worlds'', Jared mocks the main character's [[CaptainObvious captain obvious]] statements.



** A RunningGag in the review has Jared come up with different names for Cassara based on her rather... ''pronounced'' chest. Names like "Underboob", "Nips [=McHooter=]", and "Mammary [=McLovebuttons=]".
--->'''Jared:''' Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].
* In his review of the first Hydlide game, he sums up the story as follows: "There's a dragon, and there's a princess. And then the dragon hibdjvbudjdeba, and the princess explodes into fairies!"

to:

** * A RunningGag in the his review for ''Two Worlds II'' has Jared come up with different names for Cassara based on her rather... ''pronounced'' chest. Names like "Underboob", "Nips [=McHooter=]", and "Mammary [=McLovebuttons=]".
--->'''Jared:''' -->'''Jared:''' Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].
breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].

[[AC: Hydlide ]]

* In his review of the first Hydlide the game, he sums up the story as follows: "There's a dragon, and there's a princess. And then the dragon hibdjvbudjdeba, and the princess explodes into fairies!"



* Jared's thoughts on [[VideoGame/DayOneGarrysIncident Day One: Garry's Incident]] in his Top 10 Worst Games of 2013
--> '''Jared''': ''(to the tune of "I Know a Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves) Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One: Garry's Incident is really really bad. And I want to kill myself.''
* Jared starts his ''Pocky & Rocky'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrEiTEtgiw review]] with a shot of him staring intently at the screen as he plays. He is wordlessly joined by WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer, also staring intently as they play. After a third cut, the silence is abruptly broken when Peeb startles Jared.
-->'''PBG:''' ''*after ten seconds of silence*'' We're playing Pocky and--\\
'''Jared:''' JESUS! ''*SmashCut to Jared's opening song*''
* In regards to one of the VideoGame/FinalFantasyMysticQuest bosses.
--> '''Jared''': Now I've heard of the headless horseman, but the headless horseman and the headless ''horse''? ...how do they know where they're going?

to:

* Jared's thoughts on [[VideoGame/DayOneGarrysIncident Day One: Garry's Incident]] in his Top 10 Worst Games of 2013
--> '''Jared''': ''(to the tune of "I Know a Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves) Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One: Garry's Incident is really really bad. And I want to kill myself.''
* Jared starts his ''Pocky & Rocky'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrEiTEtgiw review]] with a shot of him staring intently at the screen as he plays. He is wordlessly joined by WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer, also staring intently as they play. After a third cut, the silence is abruptly broken when Peeb startles Jared.
-->'''PBG:''' ''*after ten seconds of silence*'' We're playing Pocky and--\\
'''Jared:''' JESUS! ''*SmashCut to Jared's opening song*''
* In regards to one of the VideoGame/FinalFantasyMysticQuest bosses.
--> '''Jared''': Now I've heard of the headless horseman, but the headless horseman and the headless ''horse''? ...how do they know where they're going?

[[AC: Super Hydlide]]




[[AC: Virtual Hydlide]]



** He gives the same speech about the dragon "hibdjvbudjdeba-ing" and the princess exploding into fairies before coming to the realization that it's a remake of the original Hydlide.
** "[[BeeAfraid BEEEES!! AAAAHAHAAH!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod RRAALGHGH...]] Jim/Portly Guy the Knight, killed by bees."
** Jared's [[{{Mondegreen}} interpretation]] of the vampire's last words.
--->'''Vampire''': Yes, that's enigmatic. Are you he? You're a pimp! (?)
** The FreezeFrameBonus near the end of the review, showing the scoreholders of the game:
*** JARED
*** Q
*** STELLAR
*** NUPTUP
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel SUBSCRIBE]]
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel LIKE]]
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel COMMENT]]
*** WEINER
*** BUTTS
*** POOP
** The Dark Sword that takes away...'''POINTS.'''
** You know how Hydlide was accused of being a Zelda ripoff? Virtual Hydlide has a Master Sword.
* His advice for being a breeder ant in [=SimAnt=]:

to:

** He * Similar to his review for Hydlide, he gives the same speech about the dragon "hibdjvbudjdeba-ing" and the princess exploding into fairies before coming to the realization that it's a remake of the original Hydlide.
** * "[[BeeAfraid BEEEES!! AAAAHAHAAH!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod RRAALGHGH...]] Jim/Portly Guy the Knight, killed by bees."
** Jared's [[{{Mondegreen}} interpretation]] of the vampire's last words.
--->'''Vampire''': Yes, that's enigmatic. Are you he? You're a pimp! (?)
** The FreezeFrameBonus near the end of the review, showing the scoreholders of the game:
*** JARED
*** Q
*** STELLAR
*** NUPTUP
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel SUBSCRIBE]]
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel LIKE]]
*** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel COMMENT]]
*** WEINER
*** BUTTS
*** POOP
**
* The Dark Sword that takes away...'''POINTS.'''
** * You know how Hydlide was accused of being a Zelda ripoff? Virtual Hydlide has a Master Sword.
* Jared's [[{{Mondegreen}} interpretation]] of the vampire's last words.
-->'''Vampire''': Yes, that's enigmatic. Are you he? You're a pimp! (?)
* The FreezeFrameBonus near the end of the review, showing the scoreholders of the game:
** JARED
** Q
** STELLAR
** NUPTUP
** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel SUBSCRIBE]]
** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel LIKE]]
** [[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel COMMENT]]
** WEINER
** BUTTS
** POOP

[[AC: Alone in the Dark (360)]]

* "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."

[[AC: Pocky & Rocky]]

* Jared starts his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZrEiTEtgiw review]] with a shot of him staring intently at the screen as he plays. He is wordlessly joined by WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer, also staring intently as they play. After a third cut, the silence is abruptly broken when Peeb startles Jared.
-->'''PBG:''' ''*after ten seconds of silence*'' We're playing Pocky and--\\
'''Jared:''' JESUS! ''*SmashCut to Jared's opening song*''

[[AC: Final Fantasy: Mystic Quuest]]

* In regards to one of the bosses:
--> '''Jared''': Now I've heard of the headless horseman, but the headless horseman and the headless ''horse''? ...how do they know where they're going?

[[AC: [=SimAnt=] ]]

* His advice for being a breeder ant in [=SimAnt=]:ant:



** At the end of the review, Jared reads a section of the game's ant glossary that encourages the player to go outside and observe ants. Jared does just that. [[spoiler: And by that, we mean that [[ComedicSociopathy he goes out and sprays the ground with bug spray and aims a magnifying glass at the ants.]]]]
--->'''Jared''': [[spoiler:DIE, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]
* In his ''VideoGame/KingsKnight'' review, Jared can't stop saying how much he hates Toby whenever he brings the character up.

to:

** * At the end of the review, Jared reads a section of the game's ant glossary that encourages the player to go outside and observe ants. Jared does just that. [[spoiler: And by that, we mean that [[ComedicSociopathy he goes out and sprays the ground with bug spray and aims a magnifying glass at the ants.]]]]
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': [[spoiler:DIE, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]
DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]

[[AC: King's Knight]]

* In his ''VideoGame/KingsKnight'' review, Jared can't stop saying how much he hates Toby whenever he brings the character up.



** He complains that the power-ups aren't very indicative of what they're supposed to do. The [[SprintShoes speed-up boots]] in particular don't have much effect unless the player collects three of them.
--->'''Jared''': They're not speed boots. They're just... ''normal boots''. (goofy grin) [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Heh.]]
** At one point, he dies in the final stage with a full party. It then cuts to him with a sour expression on his face while the game over jingle plays, followed by him wordlessly attaching a Game Genie to the cartridge and then saying "I don't care."
** He gets trapped between a row of statues and the AdvancingWallOfDoom and fails to destroy one of them, thus managing to die ''[[BeyondTheImpossible while completely invincible]]''.

to:

** * He complains that the power-ups aren't very indicative of what they're supposed to do. The [[SprintShoes speed-up boots]] in particular don't have much effect unless the player collects three of them.
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': They're not speed boots. They're just... ''normal boots''. (goofy grin) [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Heh.]]
** * At one point, he dies in the final stage with a full party. It then cuts to him with a sour expression on his face while the game over jingle plays, followed by him wordlessly attaching a Game Genie to the cartridge and then saying "I don't care."
** He then gets trapped between a row of statues and the AdvancingWallOfDoom and fails to destroy one of them, thus managing to die ''[[BeyondTheImpossible while completely invincible]]''.



** "We all know the story: Squaresoft was going bankrupt, so they created ''VideoGame/FinalFantasy'' as their last effort to be successful in the video game industry. And they were going bankrupt because they kept releasing crap like this." <whimsically tosses game cartridge, which then clatters loudly> "Ow, my knee."
*** It's worth mentioning that this last line is said in the most deadpan way possible, which adds extra credit to the already funny part.
* At the start of his Extended Thoughts video for ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines'', Jared holds up the game's case and then flings it to the side without a word.
* From his Super Bonk review: Blue Balls. That is all.
* In his Sonic Adventure 2 review, he's fighting the first boss, when he remembers;

to:

** "We * His final remarks about the game:
-->'''Jared''': We
all know the story: Squaresoft was going bankrupt, so they created ''VideoGame/FinalFantasy'' as their last effort to be successful in the video game industry. And they were going bankrupt because they kept releasing crap like this." <whimsically ''(whimsically tosses game cartridge, which then clatters loudly> "Ow, loudly)'' Ow, my knee."
***
knee.
**
It's worth mentioning that this last line is said in the most deadpan way possible, which adds extra credit to the already funny part.
* At the start of his Extended Thoughts video for ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines'', Jared holds up the game's case and then flings it to the side without a word.
* From his
part.

[[AC:
Super Bonk review: Bonk]]

*
Blue Balls. That is all.
* In his
all.

[[AC:
Sonic Adventure 2 2]]

* In his
review, he's fighting the first boss, when he remembers;remembers (after previously praising the opening stage):



* For his {{VideoGame/Tamagotchi}} review, he does an experiment where he cares for one of his Tamagotchi normally, overfeeds one of his Tamagotchi, and completely neglects the last one. What does he name the one he neglects? [[spoiler:[[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PBG]]]]

to:


[[AC: Tamagotchi]]

* For his {{VideoGame/Tamagotchi}} review, he does an experiment where he cares for one of his Tamagotchi normally, overfeeds one of his Tamagotchi, and completely neglects the last one. What does he name the one he neglects? [[spoiler:[[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PBG]]]]PBG]]]].



** The game briefly glitching out just as PBG dies, changing his name to "PBG um"
** [=JumJum=], the sole surviving Tamagotchi, ends up evolving into Nyorotchi - one of the worst possible characters that vaguely resembles a wriggling sperm. Then Jared accidentally [[spoiler:sends him to space.]]
---> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:I shot a sperm into space!]]
** Prior to becoming a sperm, [=JumJum=] was a white blob with little round hands and feet.
---> '''Jared''': Oh. He's a {{VideoGame/Kirby}}!
** In the beauty contest, [=JumJum=] makes the same pose he makes when pooping.
---> '''Jared''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, that's weird, [=JumJum=]!]] That didn't make you win!
** [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Flash]][[LiteralMinded ing]] the toilet.
* While reviewing "Mega Man X7", he puts down the game for including old enemies from the first "Mega Man X" game to play on gamers' nostalgia. To illustrate this, he holds up a "Mega Man X" cartridge in front of the CD case for "Mega Man X7" and makes them dance.

to:

** * The game briefly glitching out just as PBG dies, changing his name to "PBG um"
**
um".
*
[=JumJum=], the sole surviving Tamagotchi, ends up evolving into Nyorotchi - one of the worst possible characters that vaguely resembles a wriggling sperm. Then Jared accidentally [[spoiler:sends him to space.]]
---> --> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:I shot a sperm into space!]]
** * Prior to becoming a sperm, [=JumJum=] was a white blob with little round hands and feet.
---> --> '''Jared''': Oh. He's a {{VideoGame/Kirby}}!
** * In the beauty contest, [=JumJum=] makes the same pose he makes when pooping.
---> --> '''Jared''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, that's weird, [=JumJum=]!]] That didn't make you win!
** * [[RougeAnglesOfSatin Flash]][[LiteralMinded ing]] the toilet.
toilet.

[[AC: Mega Man X7]]

* While reviewing "Mega Man X7", the game, he puts down the game for including old enemies from the first "Mega Man X" game to play on gamers' nostalgia. To illustrate this, he holds up a "Mega Man X" cartridge in front of the CD case for "Mega Man X7" and makes them dance.



** The [[https://youtu.be/W9wRxuZY_To?t=16m45s silly whiny tone of voice]] and [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog mu]][[Main/GameOver sic]] Jared uses whenever X's TechnicalPacifist tendencies comes off as {{Wangst}}, particularly given how said tendencies is the in-story justification as to why X ''is not playable from the start in '''his own game.'''''
---> '''Jared''': And X is all like "MEH VIOLENCE..."
** His Reaction to X's Legs armor in X7, which gives a slow as hell gliding ability instead of something cool like airdashing or flight.
---> '''Jared''': *Tosses Controller in Rage* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they Gave Up, So Do I!]]
** It's rare for an annotation asking to like/subscribe to be funny, but Jared manages well.

to:

** * The [[https://youtu.be/W9wRxuZY_To?t=16m45s silly whiny tone of voice]] and [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog mu]][[Main/GameOver sic]] Jared uses whenever X's TechnicalPacifist tendencies comes off as {{Wangst}}, particularly given how said tendencies is the in-story justification as to why X ''is not playable from the start in '''his own game.'''''
---> --> '''Jared''': And X is all like "MEH VIOLENCE..."
** * His Reaction to X's Legs armor in X7, which gives a slow as hell gliding ability instead of something cool like airdashing or flight.
---> --> '''Jared''': *Tosses Controller in Rage* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they Gave Up, So Do gave up, so do I!]]
** * It's rare for an annotation asking to like/subscribe to be funny, but Jared manages well.



** Jared pointing out how how telegraphed [[HijackedByGanon the plot twist]] is.
* His otherwise tender and heartwarming review of "Chrono Trigger" [[MoodWhiplash ends with him writing a letter to Square Enix bitching them out for not making another sequel.]]
* From his ''Oscar'' review:
** The fact that he spends the entire review of Oscar lying down on his back, as the experience was so traumatic for him.
** Also, at the beginning of the Oscar review, the first line Jared says:

to:

** * Jared pointing out how how telegraphed [[HijackedByGanon the plot twist]] is.
is.

[[AC: Chrono Trigger]]

* His otherwise tender and heartwarming review of "Chrono Trigger" the game [[MoodWhiplash ends with him writing a letter to Square Enix bitching them out for not making another sequel.]]
* From his ''Oscar'' review:
]]

[[AC: Oscar]]

** The fact that he spends the entire review of Oscar lying down on his back, as the experience was so traumatic for him.
** Also, at
At the beginning of the Oscar review, the first line Jared says:



** "It's cool though, guys. I got the '''CHECKPOINT ELEPHANT'''". [[ItMakesAsMuchSenseInContext It makes as much sense in context]].

to:

** * The fact that he spends the entire review of Oscar lying down on his back, as the experience was so traumatic for him.
*
"It's cool though, guys. I got the '''CHECKPOINT ELEPHANT'''". [[ItMakesAsMuchSenseInContext It makes as much sense in context]].context]].

[[AC: Donkey Kong Country Cartoon]]



** Also, another Jared reaction face pops up when DK talks about [[AccidentalInnuendo showering Candy Kong]] [[MemeticMutation with coconut cream pies.]]
** Also, when talking about the [[OncePerEpisode musical numbers]], he brings up [[FreezeFrameBonus a general outline for every episode titled "REAL DONKEY KONG SCRIPT"]] just to indicate (SONG GOES HERE). [[BlackComedy Reading it, however...]]
** BLUSTER KONG OC DO NOT STEAL
* In ''High Seas Trader'', Jared figures out the fastest way to make money is to sell copious amounts of Opium.

to:

** Also, another Jared reaction face pops up when DK talks about [[AccidentalInnuendo showering Candy Kong]] [[MemeticMutation with coconut cream pies.]]
** Also, when
* BLUSTER KONG OC DO NOT STEAL
* When
talking about the [[OncePerEpisode musical numbers]], he brings up [[FreezeFrameBonus a general outline for every episode titled "REAL DONKEY KONG SCRIPT"]] just to indicate (SONG GOES HERE). [[BlackComedy Reading it, however...]]
** BLUSTER KONG OC DO NOT STEAL
* In ''High The look on Jared's face when DK talks about [[AccidentalInnuendo showering Candy Kong]] [[MemeticMutation with coconut cream pies.]]

[[AC: High
Seas Trader'', Trader]]

* [[RunningGag "....aaaaand mutiny"]]
*
Jared figures out the fastest way to make money is to sell copious amounts of Opium.



** His [[ShootTheShaggyDog "The Little Pirate Ship That Could"]] bit.
** [[RunningGag "....aaaaand mutiny"]]
** When his helmsman repeatedly runs the ship into rocks, Jared wonders why he isn't getting kicked off the ship. Cut to the mutiny screen with [[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PeanutButterGamer's]] face pasted on top of the captain.
** At the very end: "Hey Liverpool...SUCK IT!" *fires cannon*.
* Jared, on ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution'':

to:

** * His [[ShootTheShaggyDog "The Little Pirate Ship That Could"]] bit.
** [[RunningGag "....aaaaand mutiny"]]
**
* When his helmsman repeatedly runs the ship into rocks, Jared wonders why he isn't getting kicked off the ship. Cut to the mutiny screen with [[WebVideo/PeanutButterGamer PeanutButterGamer's]] face pasted on top of the captain.
** * At the very end: "Hey Liverpool...SUCK IT!" *fires cannon*.
cannon*.

[[AC: Ride to Hell: Retribution]]

* Jared, on ''VideoGame/RideToHellRetribution'':Jared summing up the game in one sentence:



** After a [[FetishRetardant sex scene]],
---> '''Jared:''' Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.
** During the pit-fighting sequence, Jared takes a moment to congratulate the developers for making [[SarcasmMode one good level]], [[BlatantLies with four mini-boss enemies with varied AI patterns and a deep combat system that requires planning and finesse to make the most of]]. [[spoiler:The footage is just Jared spamming a forward lunging kick that stunlocks every single enemy in the game. In fact, that's how he does basically ''all'' melee combat sequences, it's absolutely hilarious how effective it is and how stupid it looks.]]
*** Jared ''does'' give the sequence some proper praise when the boss, Meathook, switches things up with a spiked bat. [[spoiler:[[DoubleSubversion Cue Jared spamming the kick just like before.]]]]
** Jake facing an electric fence.
---> '''Jared:''' Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]
** "[[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel PLEASE SUBSCRIBE]] [[NoPunctuationIsFunnier OH GOD]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck WHY DID I DO THIS]]"
* The thumbnail for his ''[[Anime/FinalFantasyTheSpiritsWithin Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within]]'' review has him [[ThisIsGonnaSuck grimacing at the camera]] instead of his usual smile.
** Pointing out that Hein is obviously the villain. "He wears all black, has evil eyebrows, and is voiced by Creator/JamesWoods...who I'm convinced is actually evil in real life."
** Near the end, when Aki tries to convince Hein tha the Phantoms aren't really evil and Hein shows his skepticism, Jared flips out.
--->'''Hein''': Oh, I see... and what have we been fighting all this time, doctor. ...Ghosts?
--->'''Jared''': ''(beat)'' '''''... No f**king shit!'''''
--->'''Hein''': Doctor, even if I believed in such nonsense...
--->'''Jared''': ''(angrily shaking the camera)'' '''YOU'VE LITERALLY BEEN CALLING THEM PHANTOMS THE ENTIRE TIIIIIIIIIMMEEE!!!'''
--->'''Hein''': Ghosts?
** His complete and utter confusion at the ending of the film, summed up with one word.
--->'''Jared''': ''(a look of complete dumbfoundedness on his face)'' ......'''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]]'''
* Much like his Spirits Within review, the thumbnail for his review for ''VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero'' has him [[ThisIsGonnaSuck glare angrily at the camera.]]
** [[{{Mondegreen}} "WHERE ARE MY]] [[StonersAreFunny DANK WEEDS?"]]
** "It's familiar gameplay with a new twist and why can't I turn around? Why can't I turn around?! This monk is gonna mess me up, why can't I turn around?!"
** Jared talks about how much fun he's having on the first level - until he encounters a VERY cheap death.

to:

** * After a [[FetishRetardant sex scene]],
---> --> '''Jared:''' Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.
** * During the pit-fighting sequence, Jared takes a moment to congratulate the developers for making [[SarcasmMode one good level]], [[BlatantLies with four mini-boss enemies with varied AI patterns and a deep combat system that requires planning and finesse to make the most of]]. [[spoiler:The footage is just Jared spamming a forward lunging kick that stunlocks every single enemy in the game. In fact, that's how he does basically ''all'' melee combat sequences, it's absolutely hilarious how effective it is and how stupid it looks.]]
*** ** Jared ''does'' give the sequence some proper praise when the boss, Meathook, switches things up with a spiked bat. [[spoiler:[[DoubleSubversion Cue Jared spamming the kick just like before.]]]]
** * Jake facing an electric fence.
---> --> '''Jared:''' Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]
** * "[[PleaseSubscribeToOurChannel PLEASE SUBSCRIBE]] [[NoPunctuationIsFunnier OH GOD]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck WHY DID I DO THIS]]"
* The thumbnail for his ''[[Anime/FinalFantasyTheSpiritsWithin
THIS]]"

[[AC:
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within]]'' Within]]
* The thumbnail for his
review has him [[ThisIsGonnaSuck grimacing at the camera]] instead of his usual smile.
** * Pointing out that Hein is obviously the villain. "He wears all black, has evil eyebrows, and is voiced by Creator/JamesWoods...who I'm convinced is actually evil in real life."
** * Near the end, when Aki tries to convince Hein tha the Phantoms aren't really evil and Hein shows his skepticism, Jared flips out.
--->'''Hein''': -->'''Hein''': Oh, I see... and what have we been fighting all this time, tie, doctor. ...Ghosts?
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': ''(beat)'' '''''... No f**king shit!'''''
--->'''Hein''': -->'''Hein''': Doctor, even if I believed in such nonsense...
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': ''(angrily shaking the camera)'' '''YOU'VE LITERALLY BEEN CALLING THEM PHANTOMS THE ENTIRE TIIIIIIIIIMMEEE!!!'''
--->'''Hein''': -->'''Hein''': Ghosts?
** * His complete and utter confusion at the ending of the film, summed up with one word.
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': ''(a look of complete dumbfoundedness on his face)'' ......'''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]]'''
WHAT?!?!]]'''

[[AC: Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero]]

* Much like his Spirits Within review, the thumbnail for his review for ''VideoGame/MortalKombatMythologiesSubZero'' this game has him [[ThisIsGonnaSuck glare angrily at the camera.]]
** [[{{Mondegreen}} "WHERE ARE MY]] [[StonersAreFunny DANK WEEDS?"]]
**
* "It's familiar gameplay with a new twist and why can't I turn around? Why can't I turn around?! This monk is gonna mess me up, why can't I turn around?!"
** * Jared talks about how much fun he's having on the first level - until he encounters a VERY cheap death.



** Sub-Zero after Quan Chi steals the Amulet of Shinnok from him. "...and that makes Sub-Zero ''SAD.''" Complete with Sub-Zero slumping and turning away, literally looking sad.
** Shinnok's speaking debut in a Mortal Kombat game...where he sounds like "your grandpa offering you something from his candy dish."

to:

** * [[{{Mondegreen}} "WHERE ARE MY]] [[StonersAreFunny DANK WEEDS?"]]
*
Sub-Zero after Quan Chi steals the Amulet of Shinnok from him. "...and that makes Sub-Zero ''SAD.''" Complete with Sub-Zero slumping and turning away, literally looking sad.
** * Shinnok's speaking debut in a Mortal Kombat game...where he sounds like "your grandpa offering you something from his candy dish."



** Sub-Zero's plan to escape from the Prison of Souls is that...he just does. As in walks through a door which is closed but not locked for some reason. Good plan, Sub-Zero.

to:

** * Sub-Zero's plan to escape from the Prison of Souls is that...he just does. As in walks through a door which is closed but not locked for some reason. Good plan, Sub-Zero.Sub-Zero.

[[AC: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link]]



** Jared's live-action demonstration of the Jump-Squat-Stab.

to:

** * Jared's live-action demonstration of the Jump-Squat-Stab.Jump-Squat-Stab.

[[AC: Kid Klown in Crazy Chase]]



** The ending. [[spoiler:Fed up with being TheChewToy UpToEleven during his multiple playthroughs, he finally decides to invoke TakingYouWithMe against his viewers -- via three words: "sexy clown ass" [[note]]A MaleGaze screenshot of Princess Honey.[[/note]].]] Even better? [[spoiler:Judging by [[AllMenArePerverts the]] [[MostGamersAreMale comments]], most evidently see it as a CoolAndUnusualPunishment instead.]]

to:

** * The ending. [[spoiler:Fed up with being TheChewToy UpToEleven during his multiple playthroughs, he finally decides to invoke TakingYouWithMe against his viewers -- via three words: "sexy clown ass" [[note]]A MaleGaze screenshot of Princess Honey.[[/note]].]] Even better? [[spoiler:Judging by [[AllMenArePerverts the]] [[MostGamersAreMale comments]], most evidently see it as a CoolAndUnusualPunishment instead.]]]]

[[AC: Final Fantasy I]]




[[AC: Final Fantasy III]]



** Jared's praise for the game's dungeon design and lack of grinding ends when his party gets [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomped]] by Zande.
--->'''Jared''': I was ''wrooooonnng.''
* In his ''WesternAnimation/DungeonsAndDragons'' review, he can't tell whether or not Dungeonmaster is the nicest DM ever, or the ''cruelest'' DM ever, citing that in the first episode, the protagonists end up against ''Tiamat'' within the first two minutes.

to:

** * Jared's praise for the game's dungeon design and lack of grinding ends when his party gets [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomped]] by Zande.
--->'''Jared''': -->'''Jared''': I was ''wrooooonnng.''
''

[[AC: Dungeons and Dragons]]

* In Jared's reaction to the Acrobat class being integral to the main character party in the show.
--> '''Jared''': Well, we've already got a thief, so maybe you can balance the party out by being a cleric, or maybe a druid, or something like a monk could be cool- Wait! Acrobat! [[SarcasmMode That's the best class]]!
* After finishing the intro to the D&D cartoon, we see Jared throw
his ''WesternAnimation/DungeonsAndDragons'' review, he D&D books in the trash.
--> '''Jared''': I'm throwing away my D&D books. Clearly, I don't need them; as the intro to this cartoon has taught me everything I need to know about Dungeons and Dragons.
* Jared finds the characters' goal of leaving the D&D world to go back to the real world unbelievable.
--> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''
* Jared
can't tell whether or not Dungeonmaster is the nicest DM ever, or the ''cruelest'' DM ever, citing that in the first episode, the protagonists end up against ''Tiamat'' within the first two minutes.



** After finishing the intro to the D&D cartoon, we see Jared throw his D&D books in the trash.
---> '''Jared''': I'm throwing away my D&D books. Clearly, I don't need them; as the intro to this cartoon has taught me everything I need to know about Dungeons and Dragons.
** Jared finds the characters' goal of leaving the D&D world to go back to the real world unbelievable.
---> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''
** Jared's reaction to the Acrobat class being integral to the main character party in the show.
---> '''Jared''': Well, we've already got a thief, so maybe you can balance the party out by being a cleric, or maybe a druid, or something like a monk could be cool- Wait! Acrobat! [[SarcasmMode That's the best class]]!
** During one of the episodes of the series, Jared notices an upskirt shot of Sheila and in another episode, one of the character's breasts pop out.
---> '''Jared''': Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* Do not look that up.
** In the closing segment, Jared wonders why the cartoon was considered as the most violent cartoon at the time.
---> '''Jared''': I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''
* The ending to his ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIV'' review, where he gets an idea about what he can do with [[RunningGag the spoon he's been bringing up throughout the video]] and then walks off-camera. [[spoiler: Cue the spoon [[TakeThat being thrown at the copy of Final Fantasy XIII on Jared's shelf, perfectly knocking its case over.]]]]
** Then there's the mid-credits sequence:
---> '''Jared''': ''(looking behind the shelves)'' [[RealityEnsues Ooh, I'm not getting that back.]]

to:

** After finishing the intro to the D&D cartoon, we see Jared throw his D&D books in the trash.
---> '''Jared''': I'm throwing away my D&D books. Clearly, I don't need them; as the intro to this cartoon has taught me everything I need to know about Dungeons and Dragons.
** Jared finds the characters' goal of leaving the D&D world to go back to the real world unbelievable.
---> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''
** Jared's reaction to the Acrobat class being integral to the main character party in the show.
---> '''Jared''': Well, we've already got a thief, so maybe you can balance the party out by being a cleric, or maybe a druid, or something like a monk could be cool- Wait! Acrobat! [[SarcasmMode That's the best class]]!
**
* During one of the episodes of the series, Jared notices an upskirt shot of Sheila and in another episode, one of the character's breasts pop out.
---> --> '''Jared''': Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* Do not look that up.
** * In the closing segment, Jared wonders why the cartoon was considered as the most violent cartoon at the time.
---> --> '''Jared''': I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''
*''

[[AC: Final Fantasy IV]]

* The ending to his ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIV'' review, where he gets an idea about what he can do with [[RunningGag the spoon he's been bringing up throughout the video]] and then walks off-camera. [[spoiler: Cue the spoon [[TakeThat being thrown at the copy of Final Fantasy XIII on Jared's shelf, perfectly knocking its case over.]]]]
** * Then there's the mid-credits sequence:
---> --> '''Jared''': ''(looking behind the shelves)'' [[RealityEnsues Ooh, I'm not getting that back.]]



* Jared's thoughts on [[VideoGame/DayOneGarrysIncident Day One: Garry's Incident]] in his Top 10 Worst Games of 2013
--> '''Jared''': ''(to the tune of "I Know a Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves) Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One Garry's Incident is really really bad. Day One: Garry's Incident is really really bad. And I want to kill myself.''



!! One-Minute Reviews

to:

!! One-Minute Reviews
and Extended Thoughts Reviews

* At the start of his Extended Thoughts video for ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines'', Jared holds up the game's case and then flings it to the side without a word.


* Jared's reaction to Gandohar in ''Two Worlds'' saying about another character that "They call him Ho." has to be seen to be believed, the line's [[SoBadItsGood hilarious enough]] [[NarmCharm on it's own]] but his reaction to it really sells it.
** The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
** Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
** Jared is a little ''too'' enthusiastic about the joke where the sword hits sound like bad KungFoley where he pretends to stab himself with the dagger. Joke's silly enough, only it's not pretend. [[https://youtu.be/cACL3jduFxE?t=9m35s As his commentary reveals]], he ''actually'' ended up ruining his shirt and slashing himself with the dagger, enough to draw blood--this makes it equal parts suffering for one's art and the bladed equivalent of RecklessGunUsage. It's funny because Jared's first reaction was apparently "That's weird, why am I feeling a breeze?" instead of anything painful.
** "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."

to:

* Jared's reaction to Gandohar in ''Two Worlds'' saying about another character that "They call him Ho." has to be seen to be believed, the line's [[SoBadItsGood hilarious enough]] [[NarmCharm on it's own]] but his reaction to it really sells it.
** The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
** Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
** Jared is a little ''too'' enthusiastic about the joke where the sword hits sound like bad KungFoley where he pretends to stab himself with the dagger. Joke's silly enough, only it's not pretend. [[https://youtu.be/cACL3jduFxE?t=9m35s As his commentary reveals]], he ''actually'' ended up ruining his shirt and slashing himself with the dagger, enough to draw blood--this makes it equal parts suffering for one's art and the bladed equivalent of RecklessGunUsage. It's funny because Jared's first reaction was apparently "That's weird, why am I feeling a breeze?" instead of anything painful.
** "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."

!! Full Reviews



* Jared's reaction to Gandohar in ''Two Worlds'' saying about another character that "They call him Ho." has to be seen to be believed, the line's [[SoBadItsGood hilarious enough]] [[NarmCharm on it's own]] but his reaction to it really sells it.
** The game's overarching evil energy is called "[[UnfortunateNames The Taint.]]"
** Jared riffing on the ridiculous voice acting. "Warri-YERS! HARRRHD ones!"
** Jared is a little ''too'' enthusiastic about the joke where the sword hits sound like bad KungFoley where he pretends to stab himself with the dagger. Joke's silly enough, only it's not pretend. [[https://youtu.be/cACL3jduFxE?t=9m35s As his commentary reveals]], he ''actually'' ended up ruining his shirt and slashing himself with the dagger, enough to draw blood--this makes it equal parts suffering for one's art and the bladed equivalent of RecklessGunUsage. It's funny because Jared's first reaction was apparently "That's weird, why am I feeling a breeze?" instead of anything painful.
** "Oh my God, THERE'S NO WORLD HERE- oh, there we go."



* His ''One Minute Review'' of ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FsrzqJNQF8 SimCity]]'', all [[spoiler:seventeen seconds]] of it.
--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:''(trying to log in)'' Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!" ''(game load glitches)'' Ah, what the hell?! ''(resumes logging in)'' [[OverlyLongGag Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!"]] ''(finally logs in)'' Ah, there we go. ''(game fails to load)'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere F*** it, I'm going to bed.]]]]



* His one minute review of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffqe2qIfcOQ Sonic Boom]] which has him wearily singing the Sonic [=SatAM=] theme.
--> '''Jared''': (Slurred and over footage of Sonic's jog-like speed and the game's [[ObviousBeta many]] ''[[ObviousBeta many]]'' glitches.) "Blue streak, speeds by. Sonic the Hedgehog. Too fast, for the naked eye. Ssssssssonic the Hedgehog. [[MemeticMutation Sanic]], he can really move. Sanic, he's got an attitude. [[MemeticMutation Dankey Kang]], he's the fastest thing alive. He's the fastest thing Ali-ahveugh. He's the fastest thing, alighiavehhave! [[spoiler: [[MoodWhiplash It has bounce pads. 2/10!]]]]



* From his "Top 5 Games of 2015", he praises VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV as the game he had the most enjoyment with that year, putting it at Number 1. [[spoiler: Before quickly saying that he lied and that it's Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. It's much like his One Minute Review of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, except only about 10 seconds long..]]



* In "Top Ten WORST Things Final Fantasy Has Done", the number 3 spot (''King's Knight'' being integrated into the ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXV'' universe) takes the cake.
-->''''Jared''': [[BigWhy WHY?]] WHY?! [[RuleOfThree WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????]]
** The end of the video is pretty heartwarming but then quickly switches to more desperate [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyTactics Tactics]] begging.


Added DiffLines:


!! Top Tens

* From his "Top 5 Games of 2015", he praises VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV as the game he had the most enjoyment with that year, putting it at Number 1. [[spoiler: Before quickly saying that he lied and that it's Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. It's much like his One Minute Review of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, except only about 10 seconds long..]]
* In "Top Ten WORST Things Final Fantasy Has Done", the number 3 spot (''King's Knight'' being integrated into the ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXV'' universe) takes the cake.
-->''''Jared''': [[BigWhy WHY?]] WHY?! [[RuleOfThree WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????]]
** The end of the video is pretty heartwarming but then quickly switches to more desperate [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyTactics Tactics]] begging.

!! One-Minute Reviews

* His ''One Minute Review'' of ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FsrzqJNQF8 SimCity]]'', all [[spoiler:seventeen seconds]] of it.
--> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:''(trying to log in)'' Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!" ''(game load glitches)'' Ah, what the hell?! ''(resumes logging in)'' [[OverlyLongGag Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit! Work... Dammit!"]] ''(finally logs in)'' Ah, there we go. ''(game fails to load)'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere F*** it, I'm going to bed.]]]]
* His one minute review of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffqe2qIfcOQ Sonic Boom]] which has him wearily singing the Sonic [=SatAM=] theme.
--> '''Jared''': (Slurred and over footage of Sonic's jog-like speed and the game's [[ObviousBeta many]] ''[[ObviousBeta many]]'' glitches.) "Blue streak, speeds by. Sonic the Hedgehog. Too fast, for the naked eye. Ssssssssonic the Hedgehog. [[MemeticMutation Sanic]], he can really move. Sanic, he's got an attitude. [[MemeticMutation Dankey Kang]], he's the fastest thing alive. He's the fastest thing Ali-ahveugh. He's the fastest thing, alighiavehhave! [[spoiler: [[MoodWhiplash It has bounce pads. 2/10!]]]]


* VideoGame/{{Oscar}} - [[FakeDifficulty F**k You]]/10

to:

* VideoGame/{{Oscar}} Oscar - [[FakeDifficulty F**k You]]/10



-->'''Jared''' Gee, an epic RPG where you have to collect four treasures of the elements, and I... [[DidNotThinkThisThrough don't know how to make this running gag work here]]?

to:

-->'''Jared''' --->'''Jared''': Gee, an epic RPG where you have to collect four treasures of the elements, and I... [[DidNotThinkThisThrough don't know how to make this running gag work here]]?



-->'''Jared:''' Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].

to:

-->'''Jared:''' --->'''Jared:''' Everyone escapes through teleports, and you meet their prophet, Cassara- [[MaleGaze breeeeeeeeeeeeasts]].



-->'''Vampire:''' Yes, that's enigmatic. Are you he? You're a pimp! (?)

to:

-->'''Vampire:''' --->'''Vampire''': Yes, that's enigmatic. Are you he? You're a pimp! (?)



-->'''Jared''': [[spoiler:DIE, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]

to:

-->'''Jared''': --->'''Jared''': [[spoiler:DIE, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, DIIIIIIIIE!!!]]



-->'''Jared''': They're not speed boots. They're just... ''normal boots''. (goofy grin) [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Heh.]]

to:

-->'''Jared''': --->'''Jared''': They're not speed boots. They're just... ''normal boots''. (goofy grin) [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Heh.]]



-->'''Jared''': ''(holds up his Game Genie)'' '''''YouHaveFailedMe.'''''

to:

-->'''Jared''': --->'''Jared''': ''(holds up his Game Genie)'' '''''YouHaveFailedMe.'''''



* At the start of his Extended Thoughts video for ''Video/AliensColonialMarines'', Jared holds up the game's case and then flings it to the side without a word.

to:

* At the start of his Extended Thoughts video for ''Video/AliensColonialMarines'', ''VideoGame/AliensColonialMarines'', Jared holds up the game's case and then flings it to the side without a word.



--> '''Jared:''' This game sucks.

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': This game sucks.



--> '''Rouge:''' Anyway, I've got something better than jewels that I'm thinking about right now.
--> '''Jared:''' Yep! They're gonna bang. Enjoy, Rouge! (Jared puts on a poker face as a caption reading "Echidnas have four penises" appears.)

to:

--> '''Rouge:''' ---> '''Rouge''': Anyway, I've got something better than jewels that I'm thinking about right now.
--> '''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': Yep! They're gonna bang. Enjoy, Rouge! (Jared puts on a poker face as a caption reading "Echidnas have four penises" appears.)



--> '''Jared:''' [[spoiler:I shot a sperm into space!]]

to:

--> '''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': [[spoiler:I shot a sperm into space!]]



--> '''Jared:''' Oh. He's a {{VideoGame/Kirby}}!

to:

--> '''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': Oh. He's a {{VideoGame/Kirby}}!



--> '''Jared:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, that's weird, [=JumJum=]!]] That didn't make you win!

to:

--> '''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, that's weird, [=JumJum=]!]] That didn't make you win!



--> '''Jared (sexy voice):''' Hey there baaaaby! Don't I look SEX-EEE? You wanna come over and plaaay? (Drops the "Mega Man X" cartridge, revealing "Mega Man X7") AAAAGH-I GOTCHA!!!

to:

--> '''Jared (sexy voice):''' '''Jared:''' ''(sexy voice)'' Hey there baaaaby! Don't I look SEX-EEE? You wanna come over and plaaay? (Drops the "Mega Man X" cartridge, revealing "Mega Man X7") AAAAGH-I GOTCHA!!!



-->'''Jared:''' And X is all like "MEH VIOLENCE..."

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': And X is all like "MEH VIOLENCE..."



--> '''Jared''' *Tosses Controller in Rage* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they Gave Up, So Do I!]]

to:

--> '''Jared''' ---> '''Jared''': *Tosses Controller in Rage* [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere FUCK IT! If they Gave Up, So Do I!]]



** Also, at the beginning of the Oscar review, the first line ProJared says:
--> '''ProJared:''' WHAT... the [[SoundEffectBleep f**k?!]]

to:

** Also, at the beginning of the Oscar review, the first line ProJared Jared says:
--> '''ProJared:''' ---> '''Jared:''' WHAT... the [[SoundEffectBleep f**k?!]]



--> '''Jared:''' Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.

to:

--> ---> '''Jared:''' Apparently, this sex was '''super''' good. Because Jake refused to move and pretended to fly a kite for several minutes.



--> '''Jared:''' Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]

to:

--> ---> '''Jared:''' Jake's answer to getting around the fence? Steal an oil tanker, drive it fifteen miles down the road, park it in front of the city dam, and BLOWS IT UP. [[StatingTheSimpleSolution You could've driven it through the fence. Or blown up the fence. Or easily climbed up one of the many nearby trees to simply climb over it.]] But no you're right. [[SarcasmMode This way is the easiest.]]



-->'''Hein:''' Oh, I see... and what have we been fighting all this time, doctor. ...Ghosts?
-->'''Jared:''' '''*beat*''' '''''... No f**king shit!'''''
-->'''Hein:''' Doctor, even if I believed in such nonsense...
-->'''Jared:''' '''*angrily shaking the camera*''' '''YOU'VE LITERALLY BEEN CALLING THEM PHANTOMS THE ENTIRE TIIIIIIIIIMMEEE!!!'''
-->'''Hein:''' Ghosts?

to:

-->'''Hein:''' --->'''Hein''': Oh, I see... and what have we been fighting all this time, doctor. ...Ghosts?
-->'''Jared:''' '''*beat*''' --->'''Jared''': ''(beat)'' '''''... No f**king shit!'''''
-->'''Hein:''' --->'''Hein''': Doctor, even if I believed in such nonsense...
-->'''Jared:''' '''*angrily --->'''Jared''': ''(angrily shaking the camera*''' camera)'' '''YOU'VE LITERALLY BEEN CALLING THEM PHANTOMS THE ENTIRE TIIIIIIIIIMMEEE!!!'''
-->'''Hein:''' --->'''Hein''': Ghosts?



-->'''Jared:''' '''*Beat, a look of complete dumbfoundedness on his face*''' ......'''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]]'''

to:

-->'''Jared:''' '''*Beat, a --->'''Jared''': ''(a look of complete dumbfoundedness on his face*''' ......face)'' ......'''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]]'''



-->'''Jared:'''... And this entire first level, I was kinda enjoying myself! I beat up some monks, climbed around the stage, did combos and s-
-->'''*Sub-Zero gets attacked by a sword-wielding monk, the recoil sends him into a crushing deathtrap*'''
-->'''Jared:'''... THAT'S FINE! '''*grips the controller harder in anger*'''
** Sub-Zero after Quan Chi steals the Amulet of Shinnok from him. "...and that makes Sub-Zero ''SAD.''" Complete with Sub slumping and turning away, literally looking sad.

to:

-->'''Jared:'''...--> '''Jared''': ... And this entire first level, I was kinda enjoying myself! I beat up some monks, climbed around the stage, did combos and s-
-->'''*Sub-Zero --> ''(Sub-Zero gets attacked by a sword-wielding monk, the recoil sends him into a crushing deathtrap*'''
-->'''Jared:'''...
deathtrap)''
--> '''Jared''': ...
THAT'S FINE! '''*grips ''(grips the controller harder in anger*'''
anger)''
** Sub-Zero after Quan Chi steals the Amulet of Shinnok from him. "...and that makes Sub-Zero ''SAD.''" Complete with Sub Sub-Zero slumping and turning away, literally looking sad.



-->'''Jared:''' [[BigWhy WHY?]] WHY?! [[RuleOfThree WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????]]

to:

-->'''Jared:''' -->''''Jared''': [[BigWhy WHY?]] WHY?! [[RuleOfThree WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????]]



-->'''Jared:''' I was ''wrooooonnng.''

to:

-->'''Jared:''' --->'''Jared''': I was ''wrooooonnng.''



--> '''Jared:''' Tiamat, what?! ''*Falls off of his seat*'' Aren't they level one?! And three of them suck?!

to:

--> '''Jared:''' '''Jared''': Tiamat, what?! ''*Falls off of his seat*'' Aren't they level one?! And three of them suck?!



-->'''Jared:''' I'm throwing away my D&D books. Clearly, I don't need them; as the intro to this cartoon has taught me everything I need to know about Dungeons and Dragons.

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': I'm throwing away my D&D books. Clearly, I don't need them; as the intro to this cartoon has taught me everything I need to know about Dungeons and Dragons.



-->'''Jared:''' I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': I want to live here... ''*slowly slides his hand off the D&D handbook*''



-->'''Jared:''' Well, we've already got a thief, so maybe you can balance the party out by being a cleric, or maybe a druid, or something like a monk could be cool- Wait! Acrobat! [[SarcasmMode That's the best class]]!

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': Well, we've already got a thief, so maybe you can balance the party out by being a cleric, or maybe a druid, or something like a monk could be cool- Wait! Acrobat! [[SarcasmMode That's the best class]]!



-->'''Jared:''' Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* Do not look that up.

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': Did I just see a boob?! That was some straight-up titty-nipple! Between this and Sheila's underwear, and there's definitely a part where Hank got a handful of Diana's butt, I didn't realize that this campaign was gonna be using so much material from the Book of Erotic Fantasy! *Beat* Do not look that up.



-->'''Jared:''' I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': I don't really see how this was considered to be the most violent cartoon show on television at the time. Everything that I saw was pretty tame and- '''OH MY GOD! HIS FACE IS MELTING OFF'''! ''*cue Hank's face slowly melting off.*''



-->'''Jared:''' ''(looking behind the shelves)'' [[RealityEnsues Ooh, I'm not getting that back.]]

to:

-->'''Jared:''' ---> '''Jared''': ''(looking behind the shelves)'' [[RealityEnsues Ooh, I'm not getting that back.]]


* Four episodes into his Zelda2:TheAdventureOfLink Randomizer let's play and Jared has yet to complete a single castle due to needing the [[TrickedOutGloves Handy Glove item]] to progress. So you can imagine his [[TensionCuttingLaughter utter happiness]] when he does [[https://youtu.be/TX66rRP_mFY?t=25m34s finally stumble upon it...]]

to:

* Four episodes into his Zelda2:TheAdventureOfLink VideoGame/ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink Randomizer let's play and Jared has yet to complete a single castle due to needing the [[TrickedOutGloves Handy Glove item]] to progress. So you can imagine his [[TensionCuttingLaughter utter happiness]] when he does [[https://youtu.be/TX66rRP_mFY?t=25m34s finally stumble upon it...]]


* Jared's playthrogh of "The earth is a better person than me" gets hilarious when [[ARareSentence the game turns into tree erotica]], and Jared, Miss Editor and likely the audience are all baffled of what Jared is playing/reading. And naturally, the comment section wants a whole series of Jared reading strange erotic stories.

to:

* Jared's playthrogh playthrough of "The earth is a better person than me" gets hilarious when [[ARareSentence the game turns into tree erotica]], and Jared, Miss Editor and likely the audience are all baffled of what Jared is playing/reading. And naturally, the comment section wants a whole series of Jared reading strange erotic stories.stories.
* Jared's playthrough of the "Link to the Past/Super Metroid Randomizer" starts off with him getting little of use in the ''Super Metroid'' half of the game, so he heads over to ''Link to the Past'' to start exploring. The first chest available is the one in Link's house...
--> '''Jared''': Okay, so... my house, one treasure. *opens chest* [[CallBack 10 arrow-]]
--> '''Jared''': *[[RageQuit Shakes his head and tosses his headset down onto the desk before walking offscreen and screaming]]*

Added DiffLines:

* Jared's playthrogh of "The earth is a better person than me" gets hilarious when [[ARareSentence the game turns into tree erotica]], and Jared, Miss Editor and likely the audience are all baffled of what Jared is playing/reading. And naturally, the comment section wants a whole series of Jared reading strange erotic stories.


* In his ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink review, he [[CallBack retells the tale of his brother's NES games]] and shows him sneaking around, wrapped up in a blanket. The scene then cuts to him reaching for the Zelda II cartridge [[spoiler: [[BaitAndSwitch and then smacking it away to reveal a Hydlide cartridge, which he takes instead.]]]] It then cuts back to a grumpy Jared.

to:

* In his ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink ''VideoGame/ZeldaIITheAdventureOfLink'' review, he [[CallBack retells the tale of his brother's NES games]] and shows him sneaking around, wrapped up in a blanket. The scene then cuts to him reaching for the Zelda II cartridge [[spoiler: [[BaitAndSwitch and then smacking it away to reveal a Hydlide cartridge, which he takes instead.]]]] It then cuts back to a grumpy Jared.


*** One of the bosses he faces has ice powers, and makes several terrible ice puns. Jared accidentally makes an ice pun of his own, then immediately cringes when e realizes it.

to:

*** One of the bosses he faces has ice powers, and makes several terrible ice puns. Jared accidentally makes an ice pun of his own, then immediately cringes when e he realizes it.

Added DiffLines:

*** One of the bosses he faces has ice powers, and makes several terrible ice puns. Jared accidentally makes an ice pun of his own, then immediately cringes when e realizes it.
-->I hate that that just happened.


* Franchise/AloneInTheDark (1992) - N/A

to:

* Franchise/AloneInTheDark (1992) VideoGame/AloneInTheDark1992 - N/A


* Franchise/AloneInTheDark (360) - [[AttentionDeficitCreatorDisorder Too Much Candy]]/10

to:

* Franchise/AloneInTheDark VideoGame/AloneInTheDark (360) - [[AttentionDeficitCreatorDisorder Too Much Candy]]/10


* In his ''King's Knight'' review, Jared can't stop saying how much he hates Toby whenever he brings the character up.

to:

* In his ''King's Knight'' ''VideoGame/KingsKnight'' review, Jared can't stop saying how much he hates Toby whenever he brings the character up.



** He complains that the power-ups aren't very indicative of what they're supposed to do. The [[SprintShoes speed-up boots]] in particular don't have much effect unless the player collects three of them.
-->'''Jared''': They're not speed boots. They're just... ''normal boots''. (goofy grin) [[ShamelessSelfPromoter Heh.]]



** "We all know the story: Squaresoft was going bankrupt, so they created Final Fantasy as their last effort to be successful in the video game industry. And they were going bankrupt because they kept releasing crap like this." <whimsically tosses game cartridge, which then clatters loudly> "Ow, my knee."

to:

** "We all know the story: Squaresoft was going bankrupt, so they created Final Fantasy ''VideoGame/FinalFantasy'' as their last effort to be successful in the video game industry. And they were going bankrupt because they kept releasing crap like this." <whimsically tosses game cartridge, which then clatters loudly> "Ow, my knee."

Added DiffLines:

* Four episodes into his Zelda2:TheAdventureOfLink Randomizer let's play and Jared has yet to complete a single castle due to needing the [[TrickedOutGloves Handy Glove item]] to progress. So you can imagine his [[TensionCuttingLaughter utter happiness]] when he does [[https://youtu.be/TX66rRP_mFY?t=25m34s finally stumble upon it...]]
--> '''Jared''': Oh, this is the cave that normally has... magic. Instead, it's the GLOVE! *Laughs like a feral monkey*

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