History Funny / Preacher

-->'''Jesse:''' Or it scares the hell out of us. (Eventually they just start singing along to Irene Cara's "What a Feeling")

-->'''Starr:''' Oh, well let me see: [[spoiler: We had an angel, a whore, a eunuch, several dozen idiots, an unkillable mick, a one-man holocaust in a duster coat, the occasional twenty-course banquet for the mother of all fat fuckers, inbreeding, family feuds, bulimia, a retarded child - always good for a laugh - and the utter destruction of our most sacred shrine and secret retreat in the detonation of a fifty-ton bomb]].

* Cassidy, waking up after a massive bender and realising [[spoiler: that he declared his love for a conflicted Tulip the night before]]:

* Jesse and Cassidy are discussing the culinary merits of different kinds of gravy. Cassidy expresses his distaste for one type, stating "it tastes like fucking semen!", which garners weird looks from Jesse and Tulip. Cassidy follows that statement up with "Er.. or so I'd imagine..." [[spoiler: This doubles as HarsherInHindsight, as we see an instance in Cassidy's dark past that suggests he'd be quite familiar with that taste...]]

** "BRING ME THE HEAD OF BILL FUCKING GATES!"

--> '''Cassidy''': TWENTY BUCKS IF YEH RUB HAAGEN-DAZS ALL OVER THEM!

** The next issue has [[IronicEcho an entire page containing nine identical panels of Herr Starr looking at himself in the mirror]], [[CostumeTestMontage trying on wigs]]. In the last one ([[StarWars Princess Leia]]), he says "[[TimeForPlanB Plan B]]".

* At the destruction of Masada, Herr Starr has just dumped Allfather D'Aronique out of a helicopter. Standing underneath is Marseille, Starr's adjunct, who has kidnapped the retarded descendant of Jesus as a bargaining chip to escape. As the shadow of the colossally fat D'Aronique looms closer, the "Messiah: gives one last "Humperdido!" before turning to tell Marseille: "Today thou will be with me in paradise". Marseille, right before they're both squashed, merely deadpans, "great".

** "Moving fucking walkway, Granny Fuck. Not fucking moving STANDway. Moving walkway! MOVING FUCKING BASTARD WALKWAY!"

** "Moving fucking walkway, Granny Fuck!"

*** Nine pages later is [[RuleOfThree an entire page containing nine identical panels of Herr Starr looking at himself in the mirror]], trying on hats. The third one is a [=WW2=] German helmet with a swastika. "Very funny, Featherstone." The sixth one is a black fedora. "Too 'Gestapo'." The ninth one is a red-banded white panama hat. "[[ManInWhite Hmmm]]."

* Overlapping with a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, we have Li'l Tulip's "revolver incident" while learning to shoot with her dad. Also, Daddy O'Hare's... ''singular'' views about school violence.

-->'''Preacher''': "YOU! Where the fuck is your CHIN?!"

** "Like if I was to call you an illiterate fucking cum-sodden dickrag, you would write -- HERR STARR COMMA WITH HIS USUAL SEARING INSIGHT COMMA TODAY REFERRED TO ME AS OPEN QUOTES AN ILLITERATE FUCKING CUM HYPHEN SODDEN DICKRAG CLOSE QUOTES PERIOD!" - ''Herr Starr explaining to Hoover the proper use of inverted commas.''

"Well what do you know: a dickhead in name and nature!"

* Jesse and Cassidy are discussing the culinary merits of different kinds of gravy. Cassidy expresses his distaste for one type, stating "it tastes like fucking semen!", which garners weird looks from Jesse and Tulip. Cassidy follows that statement up with "Er.. not that I'd know what that tastes like..." [[spoiler: This doubles as HarsherInHindsight, as we see an instance in Cassidy's dark past that suggests he WOULD know...]]

"Well what do you know: a dickhead in name and nature!"

* Col. Holden, commander of the detachment Herr Starr commandeers at Monument Valley, scores a couple of nice zingers at the Grail leader's expense. Upon their first meeting, Holden says: "Can you send down to the motor pool for a tire iron? I'm gonna need it to pry my foot outta this kraut's ass." And later, after the situation has gone critical and Holden commences to curbStomp Starr, he knocks off Starr's hat and is treated to the Allfather's unique scarring:

* At the destruction of Masada, Herr Starr has just dumped Allfather D'Aronique out of a helicopter. Standing underneath is Marseille, Starr's adjunct, who has kidnapped the retarded descendant of Jesus as a bargaining chip to escape. As the shadow of the colossally fat D'Aronique looms closer, the "Messiah: gives one last "Humperdido!" before turning to tell Marseille: "Today thou will be with me in paradise". Marseille, right before they're both squashed, merely deadpans, "great".

* At the destruction of Masada, Herr Starr has just dumped Allfather D'Aronique out of a helicopter. Standing underneath is Marseille, Starr's adjunct, who has kidnapped the retarded descendant of Jesus as a bargaining chip to escape. As the shadow of the colossally fat D'Aronique looms closer, the "Messiah: gives one last "Humperdido!" before turning to tell Marseille: "Today thou will be with me in paradise". Marseille, right before they're both squashed, just deadpans, "great".

* After fighting each other, then attempting to escape from the Grail's forces at Masada, Jesse grabs Herr Starr's briefcase and rummages through it. He comes across a beaded dildo Starr uses in his depraved extracurricular pastime. Jesse initially doesn't recognize it, but when he does, is so Squicked out it buys Starr time to escape.

* After fighting each other, then attempting to escape from the Grail's forces at Masada, Jesse grabs Herr Starr's briefcase and rummages through it. He comes across a beaded dildo Starr uses in his depraved extracurricular pastime. Jesse initially doesn't recognize it, but when he does, is so sQuicked out it buys Starr time to escape.

* Jesse, driving across the country to New York City, comes across two hitchhikers who just happen to be...Freddy Allen, Bob Glover: Sexual Investigators. Neither party recognizes the other, so Jesse gives the two a ride with no problem. But during the trip, Bob tells Jesse his life story, and in the midst of it cuts a fart so stank and harsh Jesse and Freddy stick their heads out their respective windows to escape it.

* Jesse, driving across the country to New York City, comes across two hitchhikers who just happen to be...Freddy Allen, Bob Glover: Sexual Investigators. Neither party recognizes the other, so Jesse gives the two a ride with no problem. But in the course of passing the time by telling Jesse his live story, Bob cuts a fart so stank Jesse and Freddy stick their heads out their respective windows to escape it.