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* The lighthearted tone during what would turn out to be Lincoln's last cabinet meeting, when they are discussing enfranchising blacks:
-->'''Lincoln''': I did say ''some'' colored men. The intelligent, the educated, and veterans. I qualified it.\\
'''James Ashley''': Mr. Stevens is furious. He wants to know why you qualified it.\\
'''Schuyler Colfax''': No one heard the "intelligent" or the "educated" part. All they heard was the first time any president has ever made mention of Negro voting.\\
'''Lincoln''': Still, I wish I'd mentioned it in a better speech.\\
'''James Ashley''': Mr. Stevens also wants to know why you didn't make a better speech.
-->'''Lincoln''': I did say ''some'' colored men. The intelligent, the educated, and veterans. I qualified it.\\
'''James Ashley''': Mr. Stevens is furious. He wants to know why you qualified it.\\
'''Schuyler Colfax''': No one heard the "intelligent" or the "educated" part. All they heard was the first time any president has ever made mention of Negro voting.\\
'''Lincoln''': Still, I wish I'd mentioned it in a better speech.\\
'''James Ashley''': Mr. Stevens also wants to know why you didn't make a better speech.
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* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds [[spoiler:[[BlackComedy "There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight]] of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington."]]
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* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds [[spoiler:[[BlackComedy [[spoiler:[[BringMyBrownPants "There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight]] of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington."]]
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* During Lincoln and Tad's visit to the Blairs, Elizabeth comments on Montgomery's bluntness as being the reason why he was pushed out of the Cabinet. [[note]]he had been Postmaster General until 1864[[/note]] Monty indignantly declares otherwise, and then turns to ''Tad'' of all the people in the room in order to emphasize that he agreed to resign, apparently seeking the approval of the 11 year old in the room.
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Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Tad:''' I'm under 15. ''*motions to the Union army uniform he's wearing*''
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-->'''Tad:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'm under 15. 15.]] ''*motions to the Union army uniform he's wearing*''
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** His first scene, where he holds court with members of his faction of the Republican Party[[note/]] Thaddeus Stevens was the head of the Radical Republicans, a branch of the Republican Party that wasn't just anti-slavery, they were ''adamant'' that full equity of citizenship be granted to freedmen. It was, to put it mildly, a position that discomfited more moderate Republicans and ''highly offended'' the southern-based Democrats in Congress. [[/note]], where he just spends every other line insulting the fussiness of his subordinates.
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** His first scene, where he holds court with members of his faction of the Republican Party[[note/]] Thaddeus Stevens was the head of the Radical Republicans, a branch of the Republican Party that wasn't just anti-slavery, they were ''adamant'' that full equity of citizenship be granted to freedmen. It was, to put it mildly, a position that discomfited more moderate Republicans and ''highly offended'' the southern-based Democrats in Congress. [[/note]], Party, where he just spends every other line insulting the fussiness of his subordinates.
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*** He also deflects one of his colleagues' skepticism about the President with a simple "Nothing surprises you, Asa, therefore [[TakeThat nothing about you IS surprising.]] Perhaps that is why your constituents chose not to re-elect you for the coming term?"
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** His first scene, where he holds court with members of his faction of the Republican Party[[note/]] Thaddeus Stevens was the head of the Radical Republicans, a branch of the Republican Party that wasn't just anti-slavery, they were ''adamant'' that full equity of citizenship be granted to freedmen. It was, to put it mildly, a position that discomfited more moderate Republicans and ''highly offended'' the southern-based Democrats in Congress. [[/note]], where he just spends every other line insulting the fussiness of his subordinates.
*** When one wonders whether Lincoln can be trusted, Stevens cantankerously remarks in [[SarcasmMode exaggerated disbelief]] "Trust? I'm sorry, I was under the misapprehension that your profession of choice was ''politics''."
*** When one wonders whether Lincoln can be trusted, Stevens cantankerously remarks in [[SarcasmMode exaggerated disbelief]] "Trust? I'm sorry, I was under the misapprehension that your profession of choice was ''politics''."
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
* Although it's during one of Abe's most [[AwesomeMoments rip-roaring speeches]], hearing him angrily call Representative Ashley and his fellow abolitionists "[[InherentlyFunnyWords pettifogging Tammany Hall hucksters]]" is worth a laugh as well.
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* Although it's during one of Abe's most [[AwesomeMoments [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMoments rip-roaring speeches]], hearing him angrily call Representative Ashley and his fellow abolitionists "[[InherentlyFunnyWords pettifogging Tammany Hall hucksters]]" is worth a laugh as well.
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* Although it's during one of Abe's most [[AwesomeMoments rip-roaring speeches]], hearing him angrily call Representative Ashley and his fellow abolitionists "[[InherentlyFunnyWords pettifogging Tammany Hall hucksters]]" is worth a laugh as well.
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* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds "[[spoiler:There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington.]]"
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* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds "[[spoiler:There [[spoiler:[[BlackComedy "There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as quicker than the sight sight]] of UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington.]]""]]
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-->'''Edwin Stanton: '''You're going to tell one of your stories! I can't stand to hear another one of your stories right now! ''(walks out)''
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-->'''Edwin Stanton: '''You're going to tell one of your stories! a story! I can't stand to hear bear hearing another one of your stories right now! story! ''(walks out)''
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**And again, the stuff said on the House floor in the movie is based very closely on the official records (which however, some claim Stevens had "sanitized" as his actual eviscerations of his political opponents were even more brutal and less fit for print)
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* As usual, just about everything that comes out of TommyLeeJones' mouth.
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* As usual, just about everything that comes out of TommyLeeJones' Creator/TommyLeeJones' mouth.
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds "[[spoiler:There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of GeorgeWashington.]]"
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* Lincoln's favorite story. It's about Ethan Allen going to England to conduct business upon the end of the American Revolution. While there, he gets invited to the house of a notable English lord. While there, he notices a portrait of GeorgeWashington UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington on the wall in the bathroom (it's been put there as an insult), but doesn't comment on it. After dinner and some talking, the lord, with a smirk, just has to ask what Allen thought of the portrait. Specifically, if he put it in the right place. Allen says he does think it's in the right place. The lord gets confused and asks him why. Allen responds "[[spoiler:There is nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of GeorgeWashington.UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington.]]"
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
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* The men being hired to offer patronage jobs to Democrats are being told what they can and can't do. One man's justification for resorting to bribery: "It's not illegal to bribe Congressmen. They starve otherwise."
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-->'''Lincoln:''' The part assigned to me is to raise the flag, which, if there be no fault in the machinery, I will do, and when up, it will be fore the people to keep it up. ''[{{Beat}}]'' That's my speech.
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-->'''Lincoln:''' The part assigned to me is to raise the flag, which, if there be no fault in the machinery, I will do, and when up, it will be fore for the people to keep it up. ''[{{Beat}}]'' That's my speech.
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** Made even funnier because he's shown storing the written version of it in his hat.
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** Made even funnier because because, in a nod to well-known Lincoln lore, he's shown storing the written version of it in his hat.
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* In the beginning of the film, two young white soldiers run up to Lincoln during his talk with the black soldiers and are obviously shocked and tongue-tied to be in the presence of their president. So what do they say?
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* In the beginning of the film, two young white soldiers run up to Lincoln during his talk with the black soldiers and are obviously shocked and tongue-tied to be in the presence of their president. So what do they finally say?
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-->'''Soldier 2:''' Aw man, shut up!
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-->'''Soldier 2:''' Aw Aw, man, shut up!
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** Even better, it actually looked like the Congressmen was trying to reload faster than the ringleader could collect the papers, because it's no myth on how incredibly tedious it was to reload a gun from that time.
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* Robert trying to argue with his father about not being allowed to enlist before the big party. Lincoln walks off, which leads to this:
-->'''Robert:''' I'll be the only man over 15 and under 65 not in uniform!
-->'''Tad:''' I'm under 15. ''*motions to the Union army uniform he's wearing*''
-->'''Robert:''' ''*turns and walks out in exasperation, slamming the door behind him*''
-->'''Robert:''' I'll be the only man over 15 and under 65 not in uniform!
-->'''Tad:''' I'm under 15. ''*motions to the Union army uniform he's wearing*''
-->'''Robert:''' ''*turns and walks out in exasperation, slamming the door behind him*''
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** The phrase "fatuous nincompoop" deserves mention as well.
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** The phrase "fatuous nincompoop" "[[InherentlyFunnyWords fatuous nincompoop]]" deserves mention as well.
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** The phrase "fatuous nincompoop" deserves mention as well.
