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* ''Funny/TheCodeOfTheWoosters''


[[folder: The Code of the Woosters]]
* "I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being [[PerfectlyCromulentWord gruntled]]."
* Bertie's ShoutOut to certain famous detectives:
--> I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Literature/SherlockHolmes putting in the weekend there, but Literature/HerculePoirot, as well.
[[/folder]]



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* ''Funny/JoyInTheMorning''




[[folder: Joy in the Morning]]
* The entirety of ''Joy in the Morning'' (US: ''Jeeves in the Morning''), but especially the moment at which Bertie finds himself 'a gazelle short.'
--> '''Bertie:''' You don't mind me referring to you as a gazelle, do you, Jeeves?
--> '''Jeeves:''' Not at all, sir.
* "It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it."
* "A hoarse shout from within and a small china ornament whizzing past my head informed me that my old friend was at home."
* Jeeves tells Bertie that Aunt Agatha is in London on her way to see her son Thomas, who has mumps. Bertie has this to say.
--> His allusion was to [Aunt Agatha]'s son by her first marriage, one of our vilest citizens. Many good judges rank him even higher in England’s Rogues' Gallery than her stepson Edwin. I was rejoiced to learn that he had got mumps, and toyed for a moment with a hope that Aunt Agatha would catch them from him.
* Nobby explaining to Bertie why Uncle Percy disapproves of her engagement to Boko, which includes her [[ItMakesSenseInContext comparing him to a butterfly]]. Bertie takes the metaphor and [[{{Metaphorgotten}} runs with it]].
--> If Uncle Percy really thought that Boko was a butterfly that might go broke at any moment, Love’s young dream had unquestionably stubbed its toe. I mean, an oofy butterfly is bad enough. But it can at least pay the rent. I could well imagine a man of conservative views recoiling from one which might come asking for handouts for the rest of its life.
** During the same conversation, Nobby says she wants to marry Boko before he leaves for Hollywood.
--> '''Nobby:''' I love Boko distractedly, but at the thought of him going to Hollywood without me I come over all faint. He wouldn’t mean to let me down. I don’t suppose he would even know he was doing it. But one morning I should get an apologetic cable saying that he couldn’t quite explain how it had happened, but that he had inadvertently got married last night, and had I anything to suggest.
* Edwin tries to help Bertie settle into the cottage where he'll be staying, and in the process ''[[EpicFail sets the cottage on fire]]''. And then he tries to put out the fire... [[TooDumbToLive with paraffin]]. (Note to American readers: You call it ''kerosene.)''
* After the burning-the-cottage-down incident, Bertie says what he thinks about Edwin.
--> There's a boy who makes you feel that what this country wants is somebody like King Herod.
* Bertie discovers that [[OhCrap he's lost Aunt Agatha's brooch]].
--> ...I filled in the time by thinking of what Aunt Agatha was going to say. I did not look forward to getting in touch with her. In fact, it almost seemed as if [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere another of my quick trips to America]] would be rendered necessary. About the only advantage of having an aunt like her is that it makes one travel, thus broadening the mind and enabling one to see new faces.
* Nobby says Stilton is "very impressionable".
--> I agreed with her there. I had never forgotten the time at Oxford when somebody temporarily converted him to Buddhism. It led to a lot of unpleasantness with the authorities, I recall, he immediately starting to cut chapel and go and meditate beneath the nearest thing the neighbourhood could provide to a bo tree.
* Nobby and Bertie discuss how to get Florence and Stilton back together.
--> '''Bertie:''' When chatting with Florence, therefore, boost Stilton in every possible way. Make her see what a prize she has got. And if you have any influence with him, endeavour to persuade him to chuck all this policeman nonsense and stand for Parliament, as she wants him to.
--> '''Nobby:''' I'd love to see Stilton in Parliament.
--> '''Bertie:''' So would I, if it means healing this rift.
--> '''Nobby:''' Wouldn't he be a scream!
--> '''Bertie:''' Not necessarily. [[TakeThat There are bigger fatheads than Stilton among our legislators - dozens of them. They would probably shove him in the Cabinet.]]
* Nobby hears how Edwin burned down Bertie's cottage.
--> Nobby speculated as to the chances of somebody some day murdering Edwin, and we agreed that the hour must eventually produce the man.
* Bertie's Uncle Percy meets him as he's [[ItMakesSenseInContext about to smash a window]]. And then Stilton comes along.
--> '''Uncle Percy:''' I try to enjoy a quiet stroll in my garden, and before I can so much as inhale a breath of air I find it crawling with nephews and policemen. I come out to be alone with Nature, and the first thing I know I can't move for the crowd. What is this place? Piccadilly Circus? Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday? The spot chosen for the annual outing of the police force?
* Nobby and Boko have a quarrel. Bertie tries to comfort Boko afterward.
--> '''Bertie:''' Life's all right.
--> '''Boko:''' Not if you've lost the girl you love.
--> '''Bertie:''' Have you lost the girl you love?
--> '''Boko:''' That's what I'm trying to figure out. I can't make up my mind. It all depends what construction you place on the words "I never want to see or speak to you again in this world or the next, you miserable fathead."
* Florence, while complaining about Stilton, says he "turned on her like a tiger".
--> ...I couldn’t help admiring Stilton for his intrepid courage. Circumstances had so arranged themselves as to extract most of the stuffing from what had been a closeish boyhood friendship, but I had to respect a man capable of turning on Florence like a tiger. I would hardly have thought Attila the Hun could have done it, even if at the peak of his form.
* Bertie and Nobby discuss how to arrange a meeting for Uncle Percy.
--> '''Nobby:''' Perhaps Boko would have something to suggest.
--> '''Bertie:''' I bet he would, and I bet it would be something which would land us so deeply in the soup that it would require a dredging outfit to get us out again.
[[/folder]]


* Bertie's perfectly innocent "Me? W-what have I done?" a few moments after he'd accidentally ''shot a chandelier off the ceiling with a hunting rifle.''

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* Bertie's perfectly innocent "Me? W-what have I done?" a few moments after he'd accidentally ''shot a chandelier off the from its ceiling rose with a hunting rifle.''

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!! Works with their own pages:
* ''Funny/RightHoJeeves''

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* Bertie informs Jeeves that a dachshund is currently among the guests at his aunt's.
--> '''Bertie:''' Nice dog. Wears his ears inside out. Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out, Jeeves?\\
'''Jeeves:''' I could not say, sir.


[[folder: Right Ho, Jeeves]]
* The telegram war between Bertie and his Aunt Dahlia.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' [[AC: Am taking legal advice to ascertain whether strangling an idiot nephew counts as murder. If it doesn't look out for yourself. Consider your conduct frozen limit. What do you mean by planting your loathsome friends on me like this? Do you think Brinkley Court is a leper colony or what is it? Who is this [[AccidentalMisnaming Spink-Bottle]]? Love. Travers.]]
--> [...]
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' [[AC: Well, this friend of yours has got here, and I must say that for a friend of yours he seems less sub-human than I had expected. A bit of a pop-eyed bleater, but on the whole clean and civil, and certainly most informative about newts. Am considering arranging series of lectures for him in neighbourhood. All the same I like your nerve using my house as a summer-hotel resort and shall have much to say to you on subject when you come down. Expect you thirtieth. Bring spats. Love. Travers.]]
--> '''Bertie:''' [[AC: On consulting engagement book find impossible come Brinkley Court. Deeply regret. Toodle-oo. Bertie.]]
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' [[AC: Oh, so it's like that, is it? You and your engagement book, indeed. Deeply regret my foot. Let me tell you, my lad, that you will regret it a jolly sight more deeply if you don't come down. [...] Deeply regret Brinkley Court hundred miles from London, as unable hit you with a brick. Love, Travers.]]
* Bertie and Jeeves's eyebrow competition.
-->I consulted Jeeves once more in the language of the eyebrow. He raised one of his. I raised one of mine. He raised his other. I raised my other.\\
Then we both raised both. Finally, there seeming no other policy to pursue, I flung wide the gates and Tuppy came shooting in.\\
"Now what?" I said, as nonchalantly as I could manage.\\
"Why was the door locked?" demanded Tuppy.\\
I was in pretty good eyebrow-raising form by now, so I gave him a touch of it.
* "And if I portrayed the scene with anything like adequate skill, the picture you will have retained of this Fink-Nottle will have been that of a nervous wreck, sagging at the knees, green about the gills, and picking feverishly at the lapels of his coat in an ecstasy of craven fear."
* Gussie Fink-Nottle's epic drunken speech at the Market Snodsbury grammar-school prize-giving, which is often cited as Wodehouse's funniest passage. Sadly, it is somewhat lengthy to quote here, and makes little sense out of context because it acts as ChekhovsGunman for half the gags in the book - but rest assured it is well worth reading.
** Prior to Gussie's aforementioned drunken speech, Bertie and Jeeves discover that he's drunk.
--> '''Bertie:''' [Gussie's] nerve cracked under the strain, and he sneaked into the dining-room and started mopping the stuff up like a vacuum cleaner. Whisky would seem to be what he filled the radiator with. I gather that he used up most of the decanter. [[TemptingFate Golly, Jeeves, it's lucky he didn't get at that laced orange juice on top of that, what?]]
--> [...]
--> '''Jeeves:''' It was a most prudent act on your part, if I may say so, sir, to dispose of the orange juice.
--> '''Bertie:''' What? Didn't you?
--> '''Jeeves:''' No, sir.
--> '''Bertie:''' Jeeves, let us get this clear. Was it not you who threw away that o.j.?
--> '''Jeeves:''' No, sir. I assumed, when I entered the room and found the pitcher empty, that you had done so.
--> ''[{{Beat}}]''
--> '''Jeeves:''' [[OhCrap I very much fear, sir]] -
--> '''Bertie:''' So do I, Jeeves. [...] The jug was standing on the mantelpiece, for all eyes to behold. Gussie had been complaining of thirst. You found him in here, laughing heartily. I think that there can be little doubt, Jeeves, that the entire contents of that jug are at this moment reposing on top of the existing cargo in that already brilliantly lit man's interior. [[{{Understatement}} Disturbing, Jeeves]].
** After this, they realise Gussie's about to give his famous speech.
--> '''Bertie:''' And in two shakes of a duck's tail Gussie, with all that lapping about inside him, will be distributing the prizes at Market Snodsbury Grammar School before an audience of all that is fairest and most refined in the county. [...] It seems to me, Jeeves, that the ceremony may be one fraught with considerable interest. [...] What, in your opinion, will the harvest be?
--> '''Jeeves:''' One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir.
--> [...]
--> I inspected my imagination. He was right. It boggled.
** How Gussie's speech ended: he said one of the students could only have won a prize by cheating, and the student's mother objected. Jeeves tells Bertie about it afterwards, and says that after this "they sang the national anthem". Bertie thinks this means Gussie and the student's mother sang a duet, and Jeeves has to clarify that everyone else sang it.
* "...Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror."
* When Jeeves and Bertie are discussing ringing the fire alarm (like everything else in these books, it MakesSenseInContext), Bertie gets a bit of snark in at Tuppy's BigEater tendencies.
--> '''Jeeves:''' Possibly you may recollect that it was an axiom of [...] Literature/SherlockHolmes, that the instinct of everyone, upon an alarm of fire, is to save the object dearest to them.
--> '''Bertie:''' It seems to me that there is a grave danger of seeing Tuppy come out carrying a steak-and-kidney pie, but resume, Jeeves, resume.
* The RunningGag of Aunt Dahlia calling Gussie "Spink-Bottle" instead of "Fink-Nottle". Stops being AccidentalMisnaming after his speech, when she announces that from now on she'll always think of him as "Bottle".
* After Anatole gives notices thanks to one of Bertie's bright ideas, Aunt Dahlia has this to say.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' ''[to Bertie]'' ...I wonder if you would mind doing something for me. [...] I want you, like a good boy, to fasten the rope to the brick and tie it around your damned neck and jump into the pond and drown yourself. In a few days I will send and have you fished up and buried because I shall need to dance on your grave.
** Then Bertie tries to defend himself.
--> '''Bertie:''' I acted for what I deemed the best.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' Another time try acting for the worst. Then we may possibly escape with a mere flesh wound.
* After [[ItMakesSenseInContext Gussie makes faces at Anatole through the skylight]], Aunt Dahlia isn't happy with Bertie.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' ''[to Bertie]'' Attila. That's the name. Attila, the Hun. I was trying to think who you reminded me of. Somebody who went about strewing ruin and desolation and breaking up homes which, until he came along, had been happy and peaceful. Attila is the man. It's amazing. To look at you, one would think you were just an ordinary sort of amiable idiot—certifiable, perhaps, but quite harmless. Yet, in reality, you are worse a scourge than the Black Death. I tell you, Bertie, when I contemplate you I seem to come up against all the underlying sorrow and horror of life with such a thud that I feel as if I had walked into a lamp post.
** Then, after summing up the situation, she concludes:
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' If the prophet Job were to walk into the room at this moment, I could sit swapping hard-luck stories with him till bedtime. Not that Job was in my class.
* The aftermath of Bertie ringing the fire-bell.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' So much healthier for us out in the open like this than frowsting in bed. I had just dropped off when you did your bell-ringing act. For it was you, my sweet child, who rang that bell, was it not?
--> '''Bertie:''' I did ring the bell, yes.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' Any particular reason, or just a whim?
--> '''Bertie:''' I thought there was a fire.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' What gave you that impression, dear?
--> '''Bertie:''' I thought I saw flames.
--> [...]
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' I see. So we have all been dragged out of bed and scared rigid because you have been seeing things.
** After this:
--> '''Bertie:''' ...I think I'll go in now.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' That's fine. Because I was thinking of going in, too, and I don't believe I could sleep knowing you were out here giving rein to that powerful imagination of yours. The next thing that would happen would be that you would think you saw a pink elephant sitting on the drawing-room window-sill and start throwing bricks at it.
** And then they discover the doors are locked.
--> '''Uncle Thomas:''' But, confound it all, we can't stop out here all night.
--> '''Aunt Dahlia:''' Can't we? You just watch us. There is nothing — literally nothing — which a country house party can't do with Attila here operating on the premises.
* Bertie muses on the aphorism that "Hell hath no fury like a {{woman scorned}}":
-->I had never scorned a woman myself, but Pongo Twistleton once scorned an aunt of his, flatly refusing to meet her son Gerald at Paddington and give him lunch and see him off to school at Waterloo, and he never heard the end of it. Letters were written, he tells me, which had to be seen to be believed. Also two very strong telegrams and a bitter picture post card with a view of the Little Chilbury War Memorial on it.
[[/folder]]

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* Bingo falls for a young woman with poor taste in neckwear.
--> 'You see I'm wearing the tie,' said Bingo.\\
'It suits you beautiful,' said the girl.\\
Personally, if anyone had told me that a tie like that suited me, I should have risen and struck them on the mazzard, regardless of their age and sex; but poor old Bingo simply got flustered with gratification, and smirked in the most gruesome manner.


* Bertie has a rare attack of [[GenreSavvy genre savviness] when Aunt Agatha suggests bribing Miss Platt not to marry Uncle George.

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* Bertie has a rare attack of [[GenreSavvy genre savviness] savviness]] when Aunt Agatha suggests bribing Miss Platt not to marry Uncle George.

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** Jeeves refusing to pack the jacket, only to be foiled when Bertie packs it instead. The look on Jeeves's face when Bertie reveals this is ''priceless''.
* Tuppy calls Angela a little blighter, then says he loves her passionately immediately afterward.

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* Jeeves's opinion of Bertie's white dinner jacket. "I assumed it had got into your wardrobe by mistake, sir, or else that it had been placed there by your enemies."

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* "You've heard of Market Snodsbury Grammar School?" "Never." "[[CaptainObvious It's a grammar school, in Market Snodsbury]]."

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* "Jeeves! I'm not yet awake, I've not yet had my tea, and yet you bring me Fink-Nottles? Is this a time for Fink or any other kind of Nottle?"

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* Jeeves tries to advise Bertie against his "alcohol-in-orange-juice" plan, citing the case of a parrot.
--> '''Bertie:''' There's a flaw here, Jeeves. [...] Gussie isn't a parrot.

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[[/folder]]

[[folder: Episode 5]]


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* Bertie describes a girl insulting someone's manners, morals "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and method of eating asparagus]]", and saying the only thing to his credit was that, as far as she knew, he'd never burnt down an orphanage.

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