History Funny / Hancock

* TheStinger, where the criminal calls Hancock '"Handjob"'then [[TemptingFate tempts fate]] by calling Hancock an [[BerserkButton asshole.]]

--->'''East Asian Thug''': [[RacialFaceBlindness We aren't Japanese]]!

** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? He takes offense later on, but not yet. They ''broke his booze bottle''. Hancock just points at it incredulously with a [[TranquilFury stern face that makes his rage palpable]].

--->'''Asian Thug''': [[RacialFaceBlindness We aren't Japanese]]!

'''Boy''': You heard me!

'''Hancock''': What you want, a cookie? Get the hell outta ma face.\\

* Hancock breaking a number of kitchen implements against [[spoiler:Mary, who is similarly powered.]]
** ESPECIALLY the bit with the two pans when [[spoiler:she]] turns around and catches him in the act.
-->'''Hancock''': I can do this all day. ''(mimics banging pans together with [[spoiler: Mary's]] head in the middle)''

* Doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, the moments leading up to Hancock [[spoiler:severing Red's hand,]] with Red ''continuously'' pressing Hancock's BerserkButton while Hancock is basically jerry-rigging a circular saw blade. And then culminating in...

--> '''Ray''': Those were children, Hancock.
--> '''Hancock''': Have you ever put out an apartment fire, Ray?
--> '''Ray''': No, can't say I have.
--> '''Hancock''': My ass was hot!
* Doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, the moments leading up to Hancock [[spoiler:severing Red's hand,]] with Red ''[[WhatAnIdiot continuously]]'' pressing Hancock's BerserkButton while Hancock is basically jerry-rigging a circular saw blade. And then culminating in...
-->'''Hancock''': [[CatchPhrase Call me an asshole...one more time.]]
-->'''Red''': (hesitates, but then smirks) [[CurseCutShort Ass-]]
-->(SmashCut as Red ScreamsLikeALittleGirl)

* Hancock agrees to go to prison and ''stay'' there for a while. Naturally, he's quickly confronted by several guys he put there (which is ''most'' of the inmates). When they start trying to harass him, he singles out the two leaders, and threatens to [[AssShove shove one's head (Matrix's) up the other's ass (Man Mountain's)]]. When they don't back off, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z51e45W0Tdk&NR=1 he actually does it]]. What makes it even [[BlackComedy funnier]] is the abrupt change in music at that moment from Music/IceT's "[[GangstaRap Colors]]" to... the ''Series/SanfordAndSon'' theme.

** Even Hancock himself looks disturbed at how well it worked at one point.

* Hancock agrees to go to prison and ''stay'' there for a while. Naturally, he's quickly confronted by several guys he put there (which is ''most'' of the inmates). When they start trying to harass him, he singles out the two leaders, and threatens to [[AssShove shove one's head (Matrix's) up the other's ass (Man Mountain's)]]. When they don't back off, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z51e45W0Tdk&NR=1 he actually does it]]. What makes it even [[BlackComedy funnier]] is the abrupt change in music at that moment from Music/IceT's "Colors" to the ''Series/SanfordAndSon'' theme.

-->(other prisoners look down)

--->'''Hancock''': If you don't pull over and give yourselves up ''quietly'', I swear to Christ, [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon your head is going up the driver's ass]], his head is going up your ass (points to someone else) and you drew the short stick 'cause your head is going up ''my'' ass!

** During the chase, as he tears the thugs' car's roof off and sits in to "negotiate", still half-asleep:

--->'''Thug''': [[RacialFaceBlindness We aren't Japanese]]!

** He then reluctantly takes off and flies, and not in a straight path unlike [[Franchise/{{Superman}} that other]] FlyingBrick. He's still visibly swigging from a bottle of cheap booze in his hand. He runs into a flock of gulls, almost crashes into a plane, drinks most of the bottle and causes some damage on the highway. The whole scene is set to Ludacris' "Move Bitch" for added hilarity.

[[caption-width-right:350:''Move! Get out the way!'']]

'''Boy''': Bad guys! ''(points a TV)''\\
'''Hancock''': What, you want a cookie? Get the hell outta ma face.\\

** He then reluctantly takes off and flies, and not in a straight path unlike [[Franchise/{{Superman}} that other]] FlyingBrick. He's still visibly drunk from the night before, a bottle in his hand. He runs into a flock of gulls, almost crashes into a plane, drinks in the bottle and causes some damage on the highway. The whole scene is set to Ludacris' "Move Bitch" for added hilarity.
** During the chase, as he tears the thugs' car's roof off and sits in to "negociate", half sleepy / half drunken:

* Hancock agrees to go to prison and ''stay'' there for a while. Naturally, he's quickly confronted by several guys he put there (which is ''most'' of the inmates). When they start trying to harass him, he singles out the two leaders, and threatens to [[AssShove shove one's head (Matrix's) up the other's ass (Man Mountain's)]]. When they don't back off, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z51e45W0Tdk&NR=1 he actually does it]]. What makes it even worse... [[BlackComedy okay, funnier...]] is the abrupt change in music at that moment from Music/IceT's "Colors" to the ''Series/SanfordAndSon'' theme.

'''Michel:''' [[CurseCutShort Assho--]]\\

** Then, when Ray comes to greet him, Hancock is obviously preoccupied with where the boy will land...which happens to be right in his hand. When he puts Michel down, the boy goes crying for his mother. Bet he'll never call anybody an asshole again.

-->'''Hancock''': It's not sexual! ''(explosion in the background)'' Not that you're an attractive woman! ''({{Beat}})'' In fact, you're a very attractive woman--
-->'''Policewoman''': GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

** Ray teaches Hancock the importance of saying "Good job", so Hancock spends much of the scene saying "Good job" really, ''really'' awkwardly to the cops, who just stare at him in shock.

* In a deleted scene, Hancock, shortly after the scene at the bar, hooks up with a girl he met there. He was giving her a speech about "mountaintops", which was basically his way of telling her that she needs to get off him when it comes time for him to...yeah. Cut to an outside shot of his mobile home rocking a bit, him screaming "Mountaintop...MOUNTAINTOP!", and blasting a few bullet-sized holes through the roof.

* Hancock, shortly after the scene at the bar, hooks up with a girl he met there. He was giving her a speech about "mountaintops", which was basically his way of telling her that she needs to get off him when it comes time for him to...yeah. Cut to an outside shot of his mobile home rocking a bit, him screaming "Mountaintop...MOUNTAINTOP!", and blasting a few bullet-sized holes through the roof.

--->'''Thug''': We aren't [[RacialFaceBlindness Japanese]]!

* Our introduction to Hancock? He's first seen sleeping on a bench with alcohol bottles like a hobo, not giving a damn to what's happening in the city. It is a ''little boy'' who has the balls to wake him up and tell him do his job. With an insult to boot.

** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? He takes offense, but not much. They ''broke his booze bottle''. Hancock just points at it incredulously with a [[TranquilFury stern face that makes his rage palpable]].

--->'''Hancock''': If you don't pull over and give yourselves up ''quietly'', I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass (points to someone else) and you drew the short stick 'cause your head is going up ''my'' ass!
** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? He takes offense, but not much. They ''broke his booze bottle''. Hancock just points at it incredulously with a stern face that makes his rage palpable.

** Then, when Ray comes to greet him, Hancock is obviously preoccupied with where the boy will land...which happens to be right in his hand. When he puts Michel down, the boy goes crying for his mother.
* The annoying French kid getting thrown into the sky. Bet he'll never call anybody an asshole again.

** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? Not even close. They ''broke his booze bottle''. Hancock just points at it incredulously with a stern face that makes his rage palpable.

** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? Not even close. They ''broke his booze bottle''.