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* After sending ''Glen or Glenda'' to a studio executive, Ed calls him on the phone:
-->'''Ed''': So, Mr. Feldmen, what did you think of the picture? ...Really? Worst film you ever saw? Well, my next one will be better. Hello? Hello?


** The best part of that scene was literally when Ed asks Bela if he wants to take a breather after his UnstoppableRage. Bela responds with a "Bullshit!I'm ready now, roll the camera!", all while crossing his arms like an angry child who didn't get candy.

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** The best part of that scene was literally when Ed asks Bela if he wants to take a breather after his UnstoppableRage. Bela responds with a "Bullshit!I'm "Bullshit! I'm ready now, roll the camera!", all while crossing his arms like an angry child who didn't get candy.candy.
*** Compounded even further by everyone on set taking that as their cue to IMMEDIATELY snap to attention and get ready to film a take.

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** The best part of that scene was literally when Ed asks Bela if he wants to take a breather after his UnstoppableRage. Bela responds with a "Bullshit!I'm ready now, roll the camera!", all while crossing his arms like an angry child who didn't get candy.


-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You come out here!

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-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You come out here!here! Hey! [[VampireVords Throw me that vhisky!]]


-->'''Bela''': God DAMN, its cold!

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-->'''Bela''': God DAMN, its it's cold!



-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You get down here!

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-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You get down come out here!

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**As Bela steps into the man-made pond to film Vornoff's death:
-->'''Bela''': God DAMN, its cold!
-->'''Ed''': It'll warm up once you're in it.
-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You get down here!

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-->'''Assistant''': You forgot the giant squid.
-->'''Ed''': Nope! Saving that for my big underwater climax!

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** This crosses over into Heartwarming, but Welles never comments once on Ed Wood being in a dress with a blonde wig when they meet. It's nice to see Ed isn't judged by his hero. On the other hand, [[FridgeLogic this is Hollywood and Welles has probably seen stranger, so transvestites aren't weird to him]].

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** The Halloween scene where Bela mutters "oh shit!" under his breath while fumbling around in his bathroom.


* The sequence where they need to steal the octopus for ''Bride of the Atom''. Whilst they ''forget the motor'', resulting in poor Bela having to humiliate himself by rolling around, the theft is as funny; with the octopus suspended from the ceiling, they position Tor underneath it to catch it. When it drops, it seemingly ''crushes him''. For several seconds, they seem to believe they've killed him.

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* The sequence where they need to steal the octopus for ''Bride of the Atom''. Whilst they ''forget the motor'', resulting in poor Bela having to humiliate himself by rolling around, the theft is as funny; with the octopus suspended from the ceiling, they position Tor underneath it to catch it. When it drops, it seemingly ''crushes him''. For several seconds, they seem to believe they've killed him. Tor's reaction after: that was FUN!


* Ed's completely insane idea for a movie, based on the random collection of stock footage he's just viewed -- because it doesn't occur to him that he could just leave out the bits that don't make sense, such as the buffalo footage, or that you don't get the military to solve mysteries, you get them to fight wars:

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* Ed's completely insane idea for a movie, based on the random collection of stock footage he's just viewed -- because it doesn't occur to him that he could just leave out the bits that don't make sense, such as the buffalo footage, or that you don't get the military to solve mysteries, you get them to fight wars:viewed:


-->'''Orson Welles''': Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a [[Film/TouchOfEvil thriller]] for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.

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-->'''Orson Welles''': Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a [[Film/TouchOfEvil thriller]] for Universal. Creator/{{Universal}}. They want Charlton Heston Creator/CharltonHeston as a Mexican.

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* Ed's completely insane idea for a movie, based on the random collection of stock footage he's just viewed -- because it doesn't occur to him that he could just leave out the bits that don't make sense, such as the buffalo footage, or that you don't get the military to solve mysteries, you get them to fight wars:
-->'''Ed''': The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.

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* Ed and Orson Welles commiserating with each other about ExecutiveMeddling, hilarious because Ed is complaining about his terrible films and Welles is complaining about a movie which will come to be regarded as a classic FilmNoir:
-->'''Ed''': And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
-->'''Orson Welles''': Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a [[Film/TouchOfEvil thriller]] for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.


--->''[[spoiler:"Now let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker."]]''

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--->''[[spoiler:"Now --->"Now let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker."]]''"



--->''"My God... it's uncanny!"''

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--->''"My --->"My God... it's uncanny!"'' uncanny!"



-->''"It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action!'' '''Goodbye,''' ''penis!"''

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-->''"It's -->"It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action!'' action! '''Goodbye,''' ''penis!"''penis!"



* The sequence where they need to steal the octopus for ''Bride of the Atom''; Whilst they ''forget the motor'', resulting in poor Bela having to humiliate himself by rolling around, the theft is as funny; Suspended from the ceiling, they position Tor underneath it to catch it. Dropping it, it seemingly ''crushes him''. For several seconds, they seem to believe they've killed him.

to:

* The sequence where they need to steal the octopus for ''Bride of the Atom''; Atom''. Whilst they ''forget the motor'', resulting in poor Bela having to humiliate himself by rolling around, the theft is as funny; Suspended with the octopus suspended from the ceiling, they position Tor underneath it to catch it. Dropping it, When it drops, it seemingly ''crushes him''. For several seconds, they seem to believe they've killed him.

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