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'''Pox:''' Oh, science, education, the arts. TRIVIA, ''UTTER TRIVIA!'' OH, CURSE OUR GODS-DAMNED COMPLACENCY!

to:

'''Pox:''' Oh, science, ''(completely unenthused)'' Poverty, education, the arts. ''health care''...TRIVIA, ''UTTER TRIVIA!'' OH, CURSE OUR GODS-DAMNED COMPLACENCY!


'''Pox:''' ...Actually your approval rating tripled since I made the switch.

to:

'''Pox:''' ...Actually your approval rating tripled since I made the switch.\\


'''Pox:''' [[SuddenlyShouting OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!]]\\

to:

'''Pox:''' [[SuddenlyShouting OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!]]\\THING!]]


'''Pox:''' Actually, I want you to read its mind and enter it the source of its cognitive distress, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.

to:

'''Pox:''' Actually, I want you to read its mind and enter it the source of its cognitive distress, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.\\



'''Pox:'''''(SuddenlyShouting)'' OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!

to:

'''Pox:'''''(SuddenlyShouting)'' '''Pox:''' [[SuddenlyShouting OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!THING!]]\\


--> '''Crypto''': What's shakin', Pox? You look a little... what's the word... Constipated.

to:

--> ---> '''Crypto''': What's shakin', Pox? You look a little... what's the word... Constipated.



--> '''Crypto''': Lemme tell ya something, Pox. You're a smart cookie, but there's a time for thought, and there's a time for action! And this is one of those times!\\
'''Pox''': ... [[AmbiguousSyntax Which?]]\\
'''Crypto''': THE SECOND ONE!

to:

--> '''Crypto''': --->'''Crypto:''' Lemme tell ya something, Pox. You're a smart cookie, but there's a time for thought, and there's a time for action! And this is one of those times!\\
'''Pox''': ...'''Pox:''' ... [[AmbiguousSyntax Which?]]\\
'''Crypto''': '''Crypto:''' THE SECOND ONE!



-->'''Pox''': If we want this invasion to run smoothly, we must identify the dominant lifeforms on this world. Those "Lactating Bovoids" are likely candidates.\\
'''Crypto''': Surely you don't mean those foul-smelling gasbags beyond the fence?\\
'''Pox''': Yes, I'm afraid I do.\\
'''Crypto''': But they're covered in ''nipples''!\\
'''Pox''': NOW, Cryptosporidium!

to:

-->'''Pox''': -->'''Pox:''' If we want this invasion to run smoothly, we must identify the dominant lifeforms on this world. Those "Lactating Bovoids" are likely candidates.\\
'''Crypto''': '''Crypto:''' Surely you don't mean those foul-smelling gasbags beyond the fence?\\
'''Pox''': '''Pox:''' Yes, I'm afraid I do.\\
'''Crypto''': '''Crypto:''' But they're covered in ''nipples''!\\
'''Pox''': '''Pox:''' NOW, Cryptosporidium!



-->'''Crypto:''' They eat through their ''mouths''?!? UGH, I think I'm going to be violently ill!

to:

-->'''Crypto:''' --->'''Crypto:''' They eat through their ''mouths''?!? UGH, I think I'm going to be violently ill!



-->Er, um... BOW DOWN BEFORE CRYPTO! ''(beat)'' What, do I have to draw you a picture?

to:

-->Er, --->Er, um... BOW DOWN BEFORE CRYPTO! ''(beat)'' What, do I have to draw you a picture?



-->It doesn't! [[LargeHam HAHAHAHA]]!

to:

-->It --->It doesn't! [[LargeHam HAHAHAHA]]!



-->How the Hell should I know?!

to:

-->How --->How the Hell should I know?!



-->Santa Modesta is experiencing the same problems we are; the difference is, we have that award-winning city desk over at the Rockwell Gazette, and nothing gets past those guys! They keep ME honest!

to:

-->Santa --->Santa Modesta is experiencing the same problems we are; the difference is, we have that award-winning city desk over at the Rockwell Gazette, and nothing gets past those guys! They keep ME honest!



-->Look, cows fart methane, and methane is flammable. We have more cows than Santa Modesta; you do the math.

to:

-->Look, --->Look, cows fart methane, and methane is flammable. We have more cows than Santa Modesta; you do the math.



-->'''Crypto''': Right on. Just tell me where he is and what he looks like.
-->'''Pox''': I... err... [[BlatantLies the mothership's tracking system is broken]]. I think he uses those convoys of long black vehicles for transit.
-->'''Crypto''': You think?
--->'''Pox''': I can't exactly pinpoint the president from orbit, Crypto; It's not like he walks around with a big red arrow over his head.

to:

-->'''Crypto''': -->'''Crypto:''' Right on. Just tell me where he is and what he looks like.
-->'''Pox''':
like.\\
'''Pox:'''
I... err... [[BlatantLies the mothership's tracking system is broken]]. I think he uses those convoys of long black vehicles for transit.
-->'''Crypto''':
transit.\\
'''Crypto:'''
You think?
--->'''Pox''':
think?\\
'''Pox:'''
I can't exactly pinpoint the president from orbit, Crypto; It's not like he walks around with a big red arrow over his head.



-->Look out! It's an ambush! Circle the wagons! Throw me a shotgun! Get the womenfolk inside! Oh... I really must stop watching human television. Oh screw it... DESTROY THEM ALL!

to:

-->Look --->Look out! It's an ambush! Circle the wagons! Throw me a shotgun! Get the womenfolk inside! Oh... I really must stop watching human television. Oh screw it... DESTROY THEM ALL!



-->'''Pox''': Now that the president is dead, the human senators are voting for a new leader. The vote is agonizingly close!\\
'''Crypto''': Doesn't the Vice President become President?\\
'''Pox''': JUST SHUT UP AND KILL THOSE SENATORS BEFORE THEY GET INSIDE THE CAPITAL!

to:

-->'''Pox''': -->'''Pox:''' Now that the president is dead, the human senators are voting for a new leader. The vote is agonizingly close!\\
'''Crypto''': '''Crypto:''' Doesn't the Vice President become President?\\
'''Pox''': '''Pox:''' JUST SHUT UP AND KILL THOSE SENATORS BEFORE THEY GET INSIDE THE CAPITAL!



-->If my kitchen isn't the cleanest and shiniest in town, I'll crush ANYONE who disagrees with me... with my dainty manicured fist!
-->To serve and protect. To serve and protect. To serve and protect. To swerve and defect. Uh... To curve and perfect? Dammit, I lost it!
--> There is no God. I am God. God of smelly poopy pants.

to:

-->If -->'''Housewife:''' If my kitchen isn't the cleanest and shiniest in town, I'll crush ANYONE who disagrees with me... with my dainty manicured fist!
-->To
fist!\\\
'''Cop:''' To
serve and protect. To serve and protect. To serve and protect. To swerve and defect. Uh... To curve and perfect? Dammit, I lost it!
--> There is no God. I am God. God
it!\\\
'''Cop:''' Who the hell needs a "Bill
of smelly poopy pants.Rights"? I'm Bill and I'm ''right!''



-->'''Cosmonaut:''' Comrade Leonid, what evidence are you having to be mistrusting Bliskeviks?
-->'''Crypto:''' They're giant freakin' lobsters! ''From outer freaking space!''
-->'''Cosmonaut 2:''' We are seeing long term effects of moon craziness. Poor Leonid...

to:

-->'''Cosmonaut:''' --->'''Cosmonaut:''' Comrade Leonid, what evidence are you having to be mistrusting Bliskeviks?
-->'''Crypto:'''
Bliskeviks?\\
'''Crypto:'''
They're giant freakin' lobsters! ''From outer freaking space!''
-->'''Cosmonaut
space!''\\
'''Cosmonaut
2:''' We are seeing long term effects of moon craziness. Poor Leonid...



-->'''Pox''': We'll need to think of something else; you can't just shoot this one, because its green.

to:

-->'''Pox''': -->'''Pox:''' We'll need to think of something else; you can't just shoot this one, because its green.



-->'''Crypto''': Alright, hit me again with the part about Bongwater's blimps.
-->'''The Freak''': What?
-->'''Crypto''': Bongwater. He has blimps full of Revelade.
-->'''The Freak''': He does? Far out!
-->'''Crypto''': No- you're the one who said so! You just said he's going to cover Bay City in Revelade gas!
-->'''The Freak''': Whoa...really? I said that?
-->'''Crypto''': Focus, Freak! Does he or doesn't he?
-->'''The Freak''': Does who what?
-->'''Crypto''': Does Bongwater have Revelade blimps preparing to attack Bay City?!
-->'''The Freak''': ''BONGWATER HAS REVELADE BLIMPS PREPARING TO ATTACK BAY CITY?!?''
-->'''Crypto''': [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall ...see, kids? This is why you shouldn't do drugs.]]

to:

-->'''Crypto''': --->'''Crypto:''' Alright, hit me again with the part about Bongwater's blimps.
-->'''The Freak''': What?
-->'''Crypto''':
blimps.\\
'''The Freak:''' What?\\
'''Crypto:'''
Bongwater. He has blimps full of Revelade.
-->'''The Freak''':
Revelade.\\
'''The Freak:'''
He does? Far out!
-->'''Crypto''': No-
out!\\
'''Crypto:''' No,
you're the one who said so! You just said he's going to cover Bay City in Revelade gas!
-->'''The Freak''':
gas!\\
'''The Freak:'''
Whoa...really? I said that?
-->'''Crypto''':
that?\\
'''Crypto:'''
Focus, Freak! Does he or doesn't he?
-->'''The Freak''':
he?\\
'''The Freak:'''
Does who what?
-->'''Crypto''':
what?\\
'''Crypto:'''
Does Bongwater have Revelade blimps preparing to attack Bay City?!
-->'''The Freak''':
City?!\\
'''The Freak:'''
''BONGWATER HAS REVELADE BLIMPS PREPARING TO ATTACK BAY CITY?!?''
-->'''Crypto''':
CITY?!?''\\
'''Crypto:'''
[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall ...see, kids? This is why you shouldn't do drugs.]]



-->'''Pox''': I'm picking up a signal in the ocean to the south.
-->'''Crypto''': Yeah? What kind of signal?
-->'''Pox''': A radiation signature, emanating in gamma waves from the creature's tortured brain.
-->'''Crypto''': Tortured?
-->'''Pox''': Yes. It's as if the monster is crying out, "Kill me! Kill me!"
-->'''Crypto''': That's gotta be the most pathetic thing I ever heard. So, you want me to hunt down this monstrosity and put it out of its misery?
-->'''Pox''': Actually, I want you to read its mind and enter it the source of its cognitive distress, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.
-->'''Crypto''': ...you've got to be kidding me.
-->'''Pox''': ''(SuddenlyShouting)'' OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!

to:

-->'''Pox''': -->'''Pox:''' I'm picking up a signal in the ocean to the south.
-->'''Crypto''':
south.\\
'''Crypto:'''
Yeah? What kind of signal?
-->'''Pox''':
signal?\\
'''Pox:'''
A radiation signature, emanating in gamma waves from the creature's tortured brain.
-->'''Crypto''': Tortured?
-->'''Pox''':
brain.\\
'''Crypto:''' Tortured?\\
'''Pox:'''
Yes. It's as if the monster is crying out, "Kill me! Kill me!"
-->'''Crypto''':
me!"\\
'''Crypto:'''
That's gotta be the most pathetic thing I ever heard. So, you want me to hunt down this monstrosity and put it out of its misery?
-->'''Pox''':
misery?\\
'''Pox:'''
Actually, I want you to read its mind and enter it the source of its cognitive distress, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.
-->'''Crypto''': ...'''Crypto:''' ...you've got to be kidding me.
-->'''Pox''': ''(SuddenlyShouting)''
me.\\
'''Pox:'''''(SuddenlyShouting)''
OF COURSE I AM, YOU MUTATION! NOW GO KILL THAT THING!



-->'''Crypto''': Okay, simians, here's the deal: you give me Coyote Bongwater, or I toast me up some hippie s'mores! Capiche?\\
'''Prudence''': Whoa! We got a ''narc'' over here! ''(to Crypto)'' Hey, narc, why don't you just go back to Narc Central and narc around with the other narcs, you narc?\\
'''Crypto''': Ouch, that stings!\\
'''Prudence''': Just the sort of response I'd expect -- ''from a narc!''

to:

-->'''Crypto''': -->'''Crypto:''' Okay, simians, here's the deal: you give me Coyote Bongwater, or I toast me up some hippie s'mores! Capiche?\\
'''Prudence''': '''Prudence:''' Whoa! We got a ''narc'' over here! ''(to Crypto)'' Hey, narc, why don't you just go back to Narc Central and narc around with the other narcs, you narc?\\
'''Crypto''': '''Crypto:''' Ouch, that stings!\\
'''Prudence''': '''Prudence:''' Just the sort of response I'd expect -- ''from a narc!''



-->'''Crypto''': Alright, that's it - HEY LOSERS! PUT THIS IN YOUR BONG AND SMOKE IT!"
-->'''Prudence''': You carry a big gun, narc?
-->'''Crypto''': As a matter of fact, I do.
-->'''Prudence''': Ego transference! Feelings of sexual inadequacy! Ssssssss, ssssssss!
-->'''Crypto''': Sexual--- Are you high? [[BadassBoast I'm a FREAKING SUPERNOVA! Papa's got a brand new bag!]]
-->'''Prudence''': See that? Now he's trying to sexually intimidate me. Well, you can take your patriarchal power structure and shove it up your ass! What do we want? [[StrawFeminist LIBERATION FROM THE OPPRESSIVE, PATRIARCHAL POWER STRUCTURE! When do we want it? NOW!]]
-->'''Crypto''': Cough up Coyote Bongwater, or I start baking brain brownies!
-->'''Prudence''': [[ThreatBackfire Threats won't get you any closer to the Revelade, pig, or to Coyote Bongwater!]]

to:

-->'''Crypto''': --->'''Crypto:''' Alright, that's it - HEY LOSERS! PUT THIS IN YOUR BONG AND SMOKE IT!"
-->'''Prudence''':
IT!\\
'''Prudence:'''
You carry a big gun, narc?
-->'''Crypto''':
narc?\\
'''Crypto:'''
As a matter of fact, I do.
-->'''Prudence''':
do.\\
'''Prudence:'''
Ego transference! Feelings of sexual inadequacy! Ssssssss, ssssssss!
-->'''Crypto''': Sexual---
ssssssss!\\
'''Crypto:''' Sexual--?
Are you high? [[BadassBoast I'm a FREAKING SUPERNOVA! Papa's got a brand new bag!]]
-->'''Prudence''':
bag!]]\\
'''Prudence:'''
See that? Now he's trying to sexually intimidate me. Well, you can take your patriarchal power structure and shove it up your ass! What do we want? [[StrawFeminist LIBERATION FROM THE OPPRESSIVE, PATRIARCHAL POWER STRUCTURE! When do we want it? NOW!]]
-->'''Crypto''':
NOW!]]\\
'''Crypto:'''
Cough up Coyote Bongwater, or I start baking brain brownies!
-->'''Prudence''':
brownies!\\
'''Prudence:'''
[[ThreatBackfire Threats won't get you any closer to the Revelade, pig, or to Coyote Bongwater!]]



-->'''Crypto''': You gotta be kidding me. That patchouli-reeking nut bag? He makes the rest of you hippies look lucid.
-->'''Prudence''': OK, I'll give you the patchouli, but our beloved leader is not a not a nutbag. He is a cosmic visionary! A love child of the revolution! Wise in the way of political, spiritual and sexual healing!
-->'''Crypto''': He's a stinking monkey with delusions of grandeur. Or a crook, or both.
-->'''Prudence'': He is not, he is a great man.

to:

-->'''Crypto''': ---->'''Crypto:''' You gotta be kidding me. That patchouli-reeking nut bag? He makes the rest of you hippies look lucid.
-->'''Prudence''':
lucid.\\
'''Prudence:'''
OK, I'll give you the patchouli, but our beloved leader is not a not a nutbag. He is a cosmic visionary! A love child of the revolution! Wise in the way of political, spiritual and sexual healing!
-->'''Crypto''':
healing!\\
'''Crypto:'''
He's a stinking monkey with delusions of grandeur. Or a crook, or both.
-->'''Prudence'':
both.\\
'''Prudence:'''
He is not, he is a great man.



-->'''Crypto''': Easy princess. Pop another Valium.

to:

-->'''Crypto''': ---->'''Crypto:''' Easy princess. Pop another Valium.



-->'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Carl Armstrong]]''': That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
-->'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Biff Aldrin]]''': ({{Beat}}) That's it?
-->'''Carl''': What?
-->'''Biff''': "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"? Seven months and that's the best you can come up with?
-->'''Carl''': You didn't like it?
-->'''Biff''': No, I didn't like it! It's crap! Where'd you find it, on a cereal box?
-->'''Carl''': I thought it sounded profound.
-->'''Biff''': PROFOUND? You wouldn't know 'profound' if it hit you over the head with a Camus novel. You're so stupid you think [[TakeThat Merv Griffin's]] a deep thinker.
-->'''Carl''': Listen mister, I'm getting tired of your lip.
-->'''Biff''': Oh yeah, Commander Bigshot? And what're you gonna do about it?!
-->'''Carl''': Pull the plug on this mission, that's what! ''(Speaks into radio)'' I'm sorry, NASA, but I cannot work with this jackass any more. ''(points angrily at the lander)'' Get in the car. ''Get in the car!''
-->''(They turn and leave)''
-->'''Carl''': Moron.
-->'''Biff''': Putz.

to:

-->'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Carl Armstrong]]''': Armstrong:]]''' That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
-->'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed
mankind.\\
''({{beat}})''\\
'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed
Biff Aldrin]]''': ({{Beat}}) Aldrin:]]''' ...That's it?
-->'''Carl''': What?
-->'''Biff''':
it?\\
'''Carl:''' What?\\
'''Biff:'''
"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"? Seven months and that's the best you can come up with?
-->'''Carl''':
with?\\
'''Carl:'''
You didn't like it?
-->'''Biff''':
it?\\
'''Biff:'''
No, I didn't like it! It's crap! Where'd you find it, on a cereal box?
-->'''Carl''':
box?\\
'''Carl:'''
I thought it sounded profound.
-->'''Biff''':
profound.\\
'''Biff:'''
PROFOUND? You wouldn't know 'profound' "profound" if it hit you over the head with a Camus novel. You're so stupid you think [[TakeThat Merv Griffin's]] a deep thinker.
-->'''Carl''':
thinker.\\
'''Carl:'''
Listen mister, I'm getting tired of your lip.
-->'''Biff''':
lip.\\
'''Biff:'''
Oh yeah, Commander Bigshot? And what're you gonna do about it?!
-->'''Carl''':
it?!\\
'''Carl:'''
Pull the plug on this mission, that's what! ''(Speaks ''(speaks into radio)'' I'm sorry, NASA, but I cannot work with this jackass any more. ''(points angrily at the lander)'' Get in the car. ''Get in the car!''
-->''(They
car!''\\
''(they
turn and leave)''
-->'''Carl''': Moron.
-->'''Biff''':
leave)''\\
'''Carl:''' Moron.\\
'''Biff:'''
Putz.



--->'''Pox''': (worried tone) Brace yourself for the horror...

to:

--->'''Pox''': (worried tone) -->'''Pox:''' ''(worried tone)'' Brace yourself for the horror...



-->'''Female Hippie''': Marches for peace, marches for choice, marches on the Dean's office, marches on the Capitol, marches, marches, marches! [[SuddenlyShouting I'm sick of fighting]]! It's ''SO'' 1964!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': I thought non-violent protests was the essence of the counterculture!
-->'''Female Hippie''': That's the problem! You think corporate America loses sleep over a few thousand people clogging up the road for a couple of hours to sing "If I Had A Hammer"! Hell, the shoe companies could probably give us free poster board!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': [[StrawmanHasAPoint I think you're being a little dismissive]].
-->'''Female Hippie''': Dismissive? Marching takes no commitment whatsoever! Any idiot could march! Now getting arrested, ''that's'' a sacrifice!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Gettin' arrested? Now what does that accomplish?
-->'''Female Hippie''': Clog up the system, man. Throw a wrench at the bureaucratic machine! Then they ''can't'' ignore us!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': I don't know, man. A police record? That doesn't look too good of a job application...
-->'''Female Hippie''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, give me a break]]...
-->'''White Male Hippie''': I'm serious.
-->'''Female Hippie''': No, Nelson Mandela is serious, YOU'RE a dilettante! Look, you think the weathermen care if they get arrested? YOU think Eldridge Cleaver sits around worrying about doing time?
-->'''White Male Hippie''': Eldridge Cleaver ''is'' doing time!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Exactly!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': I don't know what you're so angry about!
-->'''Female Hippie''': I'll tell you what I'm so angry about; even in the counterculture, it's the same old song and dance, the men just wanna get high and laid, and the women end up having to CARRY YOUR ASSES! I have to chant twice as loud and twice as committed to the cult just to get the man to notice me, and then some stoner like you swoops in front of the TV cameras and then takes all the credit!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': [[TakeThat This is about Abbie Hoffmann dumping you, isn't it]]?
-->'''Female Hippie''': No it is not! And I resent your attempt to march and tantalize me for suggesting such a thing!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': OK, OK! I'm sorry!
-->'''Female Hippie''': You should be! Still can't believe you went back to Anita!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': Look, don't get me wrong, but I think it's great you're so committed!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Thank you!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': Like, the whole bra-burning thing, beautiful statement! I am totally behind that!
-->''Female Hippie''': Excuse me?
-->'''White Male Hippie''': You gals go ahead and burn all your clothes? I absolutely support your right to do so one-hundred-percent!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Unbelievable!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': What's happenin'?
-->'''Female Hippie''': What's happening!? [[LargeHam THIS JERK DOESN'T RESPECT ME AS A WOMAN OR AS A REVOLUTIONARY! HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN MY PANTS! THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING]]!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Damn, that's cold...
-->'''Female Hippie''': You hear that, jerk!? He gets it! Nobody sacrifices more in this struggle than the [[InnocentBigot Negroes]]!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Blacks.
-->'''Female Hippie''': They changed it again? God damn it, well anyway, I think we can all agree that's there no room in this movement for stoner horn-dogs with no convictions! You seriously need to re-evaluate your commitment to real social political change!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Oh yeah! Umm... OK.
-->'''Female Hippie''': You know who Eldridge Cleaver is, right?
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Um, sure.
-->'''Female Hippie''': You know any Hendrix?
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Oh, you know it!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Any "Holding"?
-->'''African-American Hippie''': I can dig some up!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Right on! Let's go!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Right on, brotha!
-->'''White Male Hippie''': Maybe I should grow dreads...

to:

-->'''Female Hippie''': Hippie:''' Marches for peace, marches for choice, marches on the Dean's office, marches on the Capitol, marches, marches, marches! [[SuddenlyShouting I'm sick of fighting]]! It's ''SO'' 1964!
-->'''White
''so'' 1964!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' I thought non-violent protests was the essence of the counterculture!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
counterculture!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
That's the problem! You think corporate America loses sleep over a few thousand people clogging up the road for a couple of hours to sing "If I Had A Hammer"! Hell, the shoe companies could probably give us free poster board!
-->'''White
board!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' [[StrawmanHasAPoint I think you're being a little dismissive]].
-->'''Female Hippie''':
dismissive]].\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Dismissive? Marching takes no commitment whatsoever! Any idiot could march! Now getting arrested, ''that's'' a sacrifice!
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
sacrifice!\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Gettin' arrested? Now what does that accomplish?
-->'''Female Hippie''':
accomplish?\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Clog up the system, man. Throw a wrench at the bureaucratic machine! Then they ''can't'' ignore us!
-->'''White
us!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' I don't know, man. A police record? That doesn't look too good of a job application...
-->'''Female Hippie''':
application...\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
[[SarcasmMode Oh, give me a break]]...
-->'''White
break]]...\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' I'm serious.
-->'''Female Hippie''':
serious.\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
No, Nelson Mandela is serious, YOU'RE a dilettante! Look, you think the weathermen care if they get arrested? YOU think Eldridge Cleaver sits around worrying about doing time?
-->'''White
time?\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' Eldridge Cleaver ''is'' doing time!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Exactly!
-->'''White
time!\\
'''Female Hippie:''' Exactly!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' I don't know what you're so angry about!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
about!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
I'll tell you what I'm so angry about; even in the counterculture, it's the same old song and dance, the men just wanna get high and laid, and the women end up having to CARRY YOUR ASSES! I have to chant twice as loud and twice as committed to the cult just to get the man to notice me, and then some stoner like you swoops in front of the TV cameras and then takes all the credit!
-->'''White
credit!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' [[TakeThat This is about Abbie Hoffmann dumping you, isn't it]]?
-->'''Female Hippie''':
it]]?\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
No it is not! And I resent your attempt to march and tantalize me for suggesting such a thing!
-->'''White
thing!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' OK, OK! I'm sorry!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
sorry!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
You should be! Still can't believe you went back to Anita!
-->'''White
Anita!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' Look, don't get me wrong, but I think it's great you're so committed!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
committed!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Thank you!
-->'''White
you!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' Like, the whole bra-burning thing, beautiful statement! I am totally behind that!
-->''Female Hippie''':
that!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Excuse me?
-->'''White
me?\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' You gals go ahead and burn all your clothes? I absolutely support your right to do so one-hundred-percent!
-->'''Female Hippie''': Unbelievable!
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
one-hundred-percent!\\
'''Female Hippie:''' Unbelievable!\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
What's happenin'?
-->'''Female Hippie''':
happenin'?\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
What's happening!? [[LargeHam THIS JERK DOESN'T RESPECT ME AS A WOMAN OR AS A REVOLUTIONARY! HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN MY PANTS! THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING]]!
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
HAPPENING]]!\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Damn, that's cold...
-->'''Female Hippie''':
cold...\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
You hear that, jerk!? He gets it! Nobody sacrifices more in this struggle than the [[InnocentBigot Negroes]]!
-->'''African-American Hippie''': Blacks.
-->'''Female Hippie''':
Negroes]]!\\
'''African-American Hippie:''' Blacks.\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
They changed it again? God damn it, well anyway, I think we can all agree that's there no room in this movement for stoner horn-dogs with no convictions! You seriously need to re-evaluate your commitment to real social political change!
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
change!\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Oh yeah! Umm... OK.
-->'''Female Hippie''':
OK.\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
You know who Eldridge Cleaver is, right?
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
right?\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Um, sure.
-->'''Female Hippie''':
sure.\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
You know any Hendrix?
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
Hendrix?\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Oh, you know it!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
it!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Any "Holding"?
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
"Holding"?\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
I can dig some up!
-->'''Female Hippie''':
up!\\
'''Female Hippie:'''
Right on! Let's go!
-->'''African-American Hippie''':
go!\\
'''African-American Hippie:'''
Right on, brotha!
-->'''White
brotha!\\
'''White
Male Hippie''': Hippie:''' Maybe I should grow dreads...



-->'''Crypto''': Aw, for cryin' out... Tell me you used protection! Or don't they teach sex-ed in the Young Pioneers?
-->'''Natalya''': Kakaya zadnitza, I'm not talking about [=STDs=]! He's has been infected with alien spores!

to:

-->'''Crypto''': -->'''Crypto:''' Aw, for cryin' out... Tell me you used protection! Or don't they teach sex-ed in the Young Pioneers?
-->'''Natalya''':
Pioneers?\\
'''Natalya:'''
Kakaya zadnitza, I'm not talking about [=STDs=]! He's has been infected with alien spores!



--->'''Milenkov''': Such bluster, such arrogance. You're beginning to sound like real American. Soon you'll be wearing cowboy hat and speaking in monosyllables!
--->'''Crypto:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Says you.]]

to:

--->'''Milenkov''': --->'''Milenkov:''' Such bluster, such arrogance. You're beginning to sound like real American. Soon you'll be wearing cowboy hat and speaking in monosyllables!
--->'''Crypto:'''
monosyllables!\\
'''Crypto:'''
[[NotHelpingYourCase Says you.]]



-->'''Agent #1''': I'm in position and waiting for package.
-->'''Agent #2''': [[YouAllLookAlike I just gave you package not thirty seconds ago]]! Are you drinking on job ''again''!?
-->'''Agent #1''': Did you remember to put tracking device on package?
-->'''Agent #2''': Did Stalin have anger management issues?

to:

-->'''Agent #1''': #1:''' I'm in position and waiting for package.
-->'''Agent #2''':
package.\\
'''Agent #2:'''
[[YouAllLookAlike I just gave you package not thirty seconds ago]]! Are you drinking on job ''again''!?
-->'''Agent #1''':
''again''!?\\
'''Agent #1:'''
Did you remember to put tracking device on package?
-->'''Agent #2''':
package?\\
'''Agent #2:'''
Did Stalin have anger management issues?



--> '''Bay City dispatch''': Look, up in the sky! It's some sort of... [[BuffySpeak levitating... platter-like thingy]]!
--> '''Albion dispatch''': [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour Doubleplus ungood! Doubleplus ungood]]!
--> '''Tunguska dispatch''': Holy crapski!

to:

--> '''Bay -->'''Bay City dispatch''': dispatch:''' Look, up in the sky! It's some sort of... [[BuffySpeak levitating... platter-like thingy]]!
-->
thingy]]!\\
'''Albion dispatch''': dispatch:''' [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour Doubleplus ungood! Doubleplus ungood]]!
-->
ungood]]!\\
'''Tunguska dispatch''': dispatch:''' Holy crapski!



-->'''Pox:''' The war was over! We didn't ''need'' the big guns!
-->'''Crypto:''' So what did we spend our money on?
-->'''Pox:''' Oh, science, education, the arts. TRIVIA, ''UTTER TRIVIA!'' OH, CURSE OUR GODS-DAMNED COMPLACENCY!

to:

-->'''Pox:''' The war was over! We didn't ''need'' the big guns!
-->'''Crypto:'''
guns!\\
'''Crypto:'''
So what did we spend our money on?
-->'''Pox:'''
on?\\
'''Pox:'''
Oh, science, education, the arts. TRIVIA, ''UTTER TRIVIA!'' OH, CURSE OUR GODS-DAMNED COMPLACENCY!



-->'''Pox:''' Well, you never were one for putting in long hours at the Oval Office, so I installed a simple device to keep the humans distracted.
-->'''Crypto:''' Really? What does it do?
-->'''Pox:''' Oh, it smiles and waves, and occasionally launches into speeches about "free will" and other such nonsense...
-->'''Crypto:''' Guess the monkeys never noticed, huh?
-->'''Pox:''' ... actually your approval rating tripled since I made the switch.
-->''(awkward silence)''

to:

-->'''Pox:''' Well, you never were one for putting in long hours at the Oval Office, so I installed a simple device to keep the humans distracted.
-->'''Crypto:'''
distracted.\\
'''Crypto:'''
Really? What does it do?
-->'''Pox:'''
do?\\
'''Pox:'''
Oh, it smiles and waves, and occasionally launches into speeches about "free will" and other such nonsense...
-->'''Crypto:'''
nonsense...\\
'''Crypto:'''
Guess the monkeys never noticed, huh?
-->'''Pox:''' ... actually
huh?\\
'''Pox:''' ...Actually
your approval rating tripled since I made the switch.
-->''(awkward ''(awkward silence)''



-->'''Milenkov:''' Suggesting? I'm telling you! [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Lenin! Stalin!]]
-->'''Crypto:''' [[UsefulNotes/LeonTrotsky Trotsky?]]
-->'''Milenkov:''' Please. Don't be ridiculous.

to:

-->'''Milenkov:''' Suggesting? I'm telling you! [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Lenin! Stalin!]]
-->'''Crypto:'''
Stalin!]]\\
'''Crypto:'''
[[UsefulNotes/LeonTrotsky Trotsky?]]
-->'''Milenkov:'''
Trotsky?]]\\
'''Milenkov:'''
Please. Don't be ridiculous.ridiculous.
----


-->'''Crypto''': ...see, kids? This is why you shouldn't do drugs.

to:

-->'''Crypto''': ...-->'''Crypto''': [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall ...see, kids? This is why you shouldn't do drugs.]]


-->'''Milenkov:''' Suggesting? I'm telling you! [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Lenin! Stalin! Khruschev!]]

to:

-->'''Milenkov:''' Suggesting? I'm telling you! [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Lenin! Stalin! Khruschev!]]Stalin!]]


* In the sequel, Crypto's bodysnatched a Cosmonaut on the moon to influence the Russians into rebelling against the Blisk aliens. This also becomes a CrowningMomentOfAwesome when Crypto FINALLY comes up with the perfect excuse for why the monsters should be killed:

to:

* In the sequel, Crypto's bodysnatched a Cosmonaut on the moon to influence the Russians into rebelling against the Blisk aliens. This also becomes a CrowningMomentOfAwesome SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome when Crypto FINALLY comes up with the perfect excuse for why the monsters should be killed:


-->''(awkward silence)''

to:

-->''(awkward silence)''silence)''
* During TheReveal in ''2'', there's this exchange...
-->'''Milenkov:''' Suggesting? I'm telling you! [[BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy Lenin! Stalin! Khruschev!]]
-->'''Crypto:''' [[UsefulNotes/LeonTrotsky Trotsky?]]
-->'''Milenkov:''' Please. Don't be ridiculous.


* After discovering the Blisk in ''2'', Pox remarks that Crypto's weapons might not be effective because the Furon Empire's defense budget was slashed after the Martian War. Yes, apparently even an [[TheEmpire Empire]] of [[ScaryDogmaticAliens Scary Dogmatic Alien]] [[TheGreys Greys]] isn't immune to this debate.

to:

* After discovering the Blisk in ''2'', Pox remarks that Crypto's weapons might not be effective because the Furon Empire's defense budget was slashed after the Martian War. Yes, apparently even an [[TheEmpire Empire]] of [[ScaryDogmaticAliens Scary Dogmatic Alien]] [[TheGreys Greys]] isn't immune to this debate.debate.
-->'''Pox:''' The war was over! We didn't ''need'' the big guns!
-->'''Crypto:''' So what did we spend our money on?
-->'''Pox:''' Oh, science, education, the arts. TRIVIA, ''UTTER TRIVIA!'' OH, CURSE OUR GODS-DAMNED COMPLACENCY!
* Early on in ''2'', Crypto points out the FridgeLogic of how he can be running around shooting stuff while supposedly being the president.
-->'''Pox:''' Well, you never were one for putting in long hours at the Oval Office, so I installed a simple device to keep the humans distracted.
-->'''Crypto:''' Really? What does it do?
-->'''Pox:''' Oh, it smiles and waves, and occasionally launches into speeches about "free will" and other such nonsense...
-->'''Crypto:''' Guess the monkeys never noticed, huh?
-->'''Pox:''' ... actually your approval rating tripled since I made the switch.
-->''(awkward silence)''


--> '''Tunguska dispatch''': Holy crapski!

to:

--> '''Tunguska dispatch''': Holy crapski!crapski!
* After discovering the Blisk in ''2'', Pox remarks that Crypto's weapons might not be effective because the Furon Empire's defense budget was slashed after the Martian War. Yes, apparently even an [[TheEmpire Empire]] of [[ScaryDogmaticAliens Scary Dogmatic Alien]] [[TheGreys Greys]] isn't immune to this debate.


-->'''Pox:''' Didn't anyone tell you? [[BreakingTheFourthWall The name of this game is]] [[TitleDrop "DESTROY ALL HUMANS!"]] Not "Screw Around on the Mothership"!

to:

-->'''Pox:''' Didn't anyone tell you? [[BreakingTheFourthWall The name of this the game is]] [[TitleDrop "DESTROY ALL HUMANS!"]] Not "Screw Around on the Mothership"!

Added DiffLines:

* There's no penalty for staying a long time on the main menu rather than playing missions (whether you're logging in the DNA cheat or the Unlock Pox's Lab cheat, etc.), but Pox is not very patient, and he'll try to shame you into going back to playing main missions such as by stating [[ShockinglyExpensiveBill your electricity bill]] is going to look steep this month.
-->'''Pox:''' Didn't anyone tell you? [[BreakingTheFourthWall The name of this game is]] [[TitleDrop "DESTROY ALL HUMANS!"]] Not "Screw Around on the Mothership"!


-->'''Biff''': Seven months and that's the best you can come up with?

to:

-->'''Biff''': "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"? Seven months and that's the best you can come up with?



-->'''Biff''': No, I didn't like it! It's crap!

to:

-->'''Biff''': No, I didn't like it! It's crap!crap! Where'd you find it, on a cereal box?



-->'''Biff''': Oh yeah? And what're you gonna do about it?!

to:

-->'''Biff''': Oh yeah? yeah, Commander Bigshot? And what're you gonna do about it?!


Added DiffLines:

-->'''Carl''': Moron.
-->'''Biff''': Putz.


--> '''Bay City soldier''': Look, up in the sky! It's some sort of... [[BuffySpeak levitating... platter-like thingy]]!
--> '''Albion soldier''': [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour Doubleplus ungood! Doubleplus ungood]]!
--> '''Tunguska soldier''': Holy crapski!

to:

--> '''Bay City soldier''': dispatch''': Look, up in the sky! It's some sort of... [[BuffySpeak levitating... platter-like thingy]]!
--> '''Albion soldier''': dispatch''': [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour Doubleplus ungood! Doubleplus ungood]]!
--> '''Tunguska soldier''': dispatch''': Holy crapski!

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