History Funny / Archer

* [[http://ew.com/article/2016/03/24/archer-reviews-james-bond/ 'Archer' reviews every James Bond film.]] Truly an EstablishingCharacterMoment for Sterling Mallory Archer.

* One of the DVD extras is a segment called ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy1vLBf4CqI Cooking With Archer]]'', where Archer shows off his new kitchen, and invites celebrity chef Alton Brown (He thinks his name is Allen Brown due to a misspelled cue card) to cook Eggs Woodhouse on it. The two end up getting into a massive brawl, which cuts away to a TechnicalDifficulties sign, which runs for so long that the music has to restart its loop, then back with Brown just putting the finishing touches on the dish in the now ruined kitchen, with Archer rammed through the stove. Then Woodhouse shows up.
--> '''Alton''': *sighs* ...I'm Alton Brown.
--> '''Woodhouse''': The godfather of rocksteady!
--> '''Alton''': THAT'S ALTON ELLIS!!!
* Conan O'Brien [[http://youtu.be/OEYwOWjQiz4 joins Archer]] in a segment that aired on ''Series/{{Conan}}''. Conan exits his studio, animated, and gets in Archer's car. Archer asks Conan to shoot the Russian gangsters chasing because he's too busy driving and browsing Tindr. Conan claims to be familiar with Tindr, but only using it to hire interns.
** On the topic of Conan, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY23nChpciw H. Jon Benjamin panicked when he got the job]]. Because, in a move that is completely expected of Archer, [[EpicFail he never read the script.]]

--->Well, obviously it can only be Burt Reynolds. Duh! Although we need to get an eye surgeon to replace Burt's eyeballs with the steely blue eyes of Mr. Ed Harris... which, though, would leave Ed m blind. But that's fine. Who cares about Ed Harris anymore?

--->My favorite sandwich, hmm. I guess the filling would be money, and the bread would be two lawyers viciously prosecuting any unauthorized use of my name or likeness. I'm kidding, go nuts. I would just make sure there's ham on it. Oh shit, call it the Ham Page! You know, once we agree on the licensing fee.

--->I'm going to assume that's hypothetical, right? I mean, right? But I'd have to answer neither because a horse-sized duck is too terrifying to contemplate and duck-sized horses? How could fight them? They're too adorable. I mean, seriously, picture them. All trying to eat one apple. Oh my God, that's too cute.

--->Uh, A), I guess whatever rug that particular body happened to fall on, and B), rampages aren't measured by numbers of bodies. What you're thinking of is mass-murder, which is why I'm not super stoked you have my add... I mean, somebody else's address.

--->Um, Aaron, how come you can't fuck off?

--->"Archer: Soak it in club soda, DON'T RUB IT IN! Then get it to a dry cleaner as soon as possible. Cashmere is pretty hard to save from semen stains. I know you said protein, but it's pretty obvious that's what it is... unless you meant gravy? In which case, still club soda. You big fat slob."

-->'''Eggsy''': So this is what passes for "the world's greatest spy" in America. I may need to go there and teach them a lesson. But first, I'm gonna [[FaceDoodling draw a knob on your face]].

*** Small Miracles!

** On the topic of Conan, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY23nChpciw H. Jon Benjamin panicked when he got the job]]. [[EpicFail Because he never read the script.]]

[[caption-width-right:350:The good news is we don't have to worry about these alligators. That's not actually good news, is it?]]

* "And that's why we can't have nice things"
* Lana? Lana? Lana? LAAAANAAAAAA!

** She holds down a helicopter that Conway was escaping in by harpooning his attache case then severs his hand.

** There's also a Behind The Music-satyled mockumentary about the Velociraptor and his career and how it was affected by the Archersaurus short. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFd-PhcrFiE Watch it here.]] It's hysterical.