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* Mr. and Mrs. Jeddock (John Wray and Wynne Gibson). Mrs. Jeddock is an ex-prostitute who left the life to get married, and Mr. Jeddock is a businessman who seems to regret the idea and is constantly screaming at and verbally abusing his wife, for fear of her embarrassing past.

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* Mr. and Mrs. Jeddock (John Wray and Wynne Gibson). Mrs. Jeddock is an ex-prostitute who left the life to get married, and while Mr. Jeddock is a businessman who seems to regret the idea and is constantly screaming at and verbally abusing his wife, for fear of her embarrassing past.
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* ShotAtDawn: It turns out General Salazaro's revolution already happened, and failed. He is met at the dock and taken straight to his execution.

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* ShotAtDawn: It turns out General Salazaro's revolution already happened, and failed. He is met at the dock and taken straight to his execution.execution.

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* General Salazaro (Creator/AkimTamiroff), a South American general sailing back to his country in order to forment revolution.

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* General Salazaro (Creator/AkimTamiroff), a South American general sailing back to his country in order to forment foment revolution.
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* The titular Captain Helquist, who does indeed hate the sea, and only became a sailor after his father chucked him out of the house for playing a prank.
* Steve Bramley (Creator/JohnGilbert) an alcoholic newspaperman and failed screenwriter who is taking the cruise in an effort to dry out and get started on a novel.

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* The titular Captain Helquist, Helquist (Walter Connolly), who does indeed hate the sea, and only became a sailor after his father chucked him out of the house for playing a prank.
* Steve Bramley (Creator/JohnGilbert) (Creator/JohnGilbert), an alcoholic newspaperman and failed screenwriter who is taking the cruise in an effort to dry out and get started on a novel.



* Janet Grayson, an innocent librarian who turns out to be more than she seems.
* Mrs. Yolanda Magruder, a wealthy, late-middle-aged widow looking for a good time.
* Mr. and Mrs. Jeddock. Mrs. Jeddock is an ex-prostitute who left the life to get married, and Mr. Jeddock is a businessman who seems to regret the idea and is constantly screaming at and verbally abusing his wife, for fear of her embarrassing past.
* General Salazaro, a South American general sailing back to his country in order to forment revolution.
* Film/TheThreeStooges, who are there.

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* Janet Grayson, Grayson (Helen Vinson), an innocent librarian who turns out to be more than she seems.
* Mrs. Yolanda Magruder, Magruder (Alison Skipworth), a wealthy, late-middle-aged widow looking for a good time.
* Mr. and Mrs. Jeddock.Jeddock (John Wray and Wynne Gibson). Mrs. Jeddock is an ex-prostitute who left the life to get married, and Mr. Jeddock is a businessman who seems to regret the idea and is constantly screaming at and verbally abusing his wife, for fear of her embarrassing past.
* General Salazaro, Salazaro (Creator/AkimTamiroff), a South American general sailing back to his country in order to forment revolution.
* Film/TheThreeStooges, who are there.
appear as the ship's orchestra.
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* DeadHatShot: There's a closeup of Gen. Salazaro's hat lying on the ground, after he's shot by firing squad.
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''The Captain Hates the Sea'' was a flop for Columbia. It didn't do well at the box office, and the decision to film on an actual cruise ship instead of on sound stages meant the studio took a bath financially. It is best remembered today for being the last film of John Gilbert. Gilbert, a huge star in the silent era, saw his career swiftly collapse with the coming of talking films. He then drank himself to death, dying a little over a year after the release of this film at the age of 36 from a heart attack brought on by severe alcohol abuse.

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''The Captain Hates the Sea'' was a flop for Columbia. It didn't do well at the box office, and the decision to film on an actual cruise ship instead of on sound stages meant the studio took a bath financially. It is best remembered today for being the last film of John Gilbert. Gilbert, a huge star in the silent era, era who saw his career swiftly collapse with the coming of talking films. He then Gilbert drank himself to death, dying a little over a year after the release of this film at the age of 36 from a heart attack brought on by severe alcohol abuse.



* OutlawCouple: It turns out that Danny and Janet are one, and she's the one who is carrying the bonds. Her rap sheet reveals that she uses "Blanche Dilworthy" and "Michigan Red" as aliases.

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* OutlawCouple: It turns out that Danny and Janet are one, and she's the one who is carrying the bonds. Her rap sheet reveals that she uses "Blanche Dilworthy" and "Michigan Red" as aliases.
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* FollowTheLeader: This film was Columbia's attempt to imitate ''Film/GrandHotel'', which had a similar plot structure.
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[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/la_la_et_captain_hates_the_sea_jpg.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:All aboard!]]
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* Steve Bramley (John Gilbert) an alcoholic newspaperman and failed screenwriter who is taking the cruise in an effort to dry out and get started on a novel.

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* Steve Bramley (John Gilbert) (Creator/JohnGilbert) an alcoholic newspaperman and failed screenwriter who is taking the cruise in an effort to dry out and get started on a novel.
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''The Captain Hates the Sea'' is a 1934 comedy film directed by Lewis Milestone, set aboard a cruise ship (reminiscent of ''Series/TheLoveBoat'' 40 years later) on a voyage to South America. Characters aboard the cruise include:

* The titular Captain Helquist, who does indeed hate the sea, and only became a sailor after his father chucked him out of the house for playing a prank.
* Steve Bramley (John Gilbert) an alcoholic newspaperman and failed screenwriter who is taking the cruise in an effort to dry out and get started on a novel.
* Schulte (Victor [=McLaglen=]), a former policeman turned private eye, who is pursuing Danny Checkett, a crook whom Schulte thinks is carrying $250,000 in stolen bonds.
* Janet Grayson, an innocent librarian who turns out to be more than she seems.
* Mrs. Yolanda Magruder, a wealthy, late-middle-aged widow looking for a good time.
* Mr. and Mrs. Jeddock. Mrs. Jeddock is an ex-prostitute who left the life to get married, and Mr. Jeddock is a businessman who seems to regret the idea and is constantly screaming at and verbally abusing his wife, for fear of her embarrassing past.
* General Salazaro, a South American general sailing back to his country in order to forment revolution.
* Film/TheThreeStooges, who are there.

''The Captain Hates the Sea'' was a flop for Columbia. It didn't do well at the box office, and the decision to film on an actual cruise ship instead of on sound stages meant the studio took a bath financially. It is best remembered today for being the last film of John Gilbert. Gilbert, a huge star in the silent era, saw his career swiftly collapse with the coming of talking films. He then drank himself to death, dying a little over a year after the release of this film at the age of 36 from a heart attack brought on by severe alcohol abuse.

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!!Tropes:

* TheAlcoholic: Steve. The idea is for him to dry out and start writing, but he's drunk when he gets on the boat, keeps drinking all the way through the cruise, and is drunk when he gets off. It's hard to say whether Steve's intoxication is a result of Gilbert being a good actor or Gilbert actually being drunk during filming.
* ButtMonkey: Layton the steward, who seems to exist mainly for the captain to yell at.
* CallBack: When the Jeddocks are boarding the cruise, Mr. Jeddock screams at Goldie for having the effrontery to trip on the gangway. When they're leaving, he trips and she yells at him.
* CoolOldLady: Mrs. Magruder, who doesn't give a crap about anything, angrily defends Goldie when another guest at table gets snooty, and ends up winning Danny as a boy toy.
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: This was the first film Film/TheThreeStooges made for Columbia, where they would become famous as stars in a long line of comic short films. Here, they are the ship's band, basically backdrop characters, and only Larry has a line.
* EnsembleCast: Each of the main players gets their own screen time for their story.
* FatalFamilyPhoto: An after-the-fact example. After Salazaro is shot there is a closeup of his hat with a picture of his son inside.
* FollowTheLeader: This film was Columbia's attempt to imitate ''Film/GrandHotel'', which had a similar plot structure.
* GoodSmokingEvilSmoking: When Janet gets alone with Danny and is revealed to be not a sweet librarian but his partner in crime, this is emphasized by her whipping out a cigarette and puffing away.
* HappilyFailedSuicide: Goldie jumps overboard, but is fished out by Schulte. She seems a lot happier at the end when she's browbeating her husband.
* HighClassGlass: Major Warringforth wears one, apparently to emphasize how very very British he is.
* {{Jerkass}}: Mr. Jeddock, who spends most of the film screaming at Goldie and humiliating her.
* LaserGuidedKarma: The Jeddocks' story climaxes when Mr. Jeddock freaks out in the dining room and starts screaming about Goldie being a hooker. He is promptly arrested and put in restraints, whereupon Goldie beats him upside the head with a blackjack provided by Schulte. The last scene (see CallBack above) shows that the power relationship between them has been completely reversed.
* LoveTriangle: Danny and Janet/Blanche are an item but she winds up falling for Schulte.
* MoodWhiplash: See ShotAtDawn below--Salazaro's execution comes out of nowhere and feels out of place in what is mostly a light comedy.
* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Steve is a reporter and failed screenwriter, not an actor, but John Gilbert playing an alcoholic Hollywood burnout hits a little too close to home.
* ObfuscatingStupidity: Schulte comes off as a lummox that is stupidly falling for Janet's manipulation, but the scene in which he pulls out her rap sheet reveals he's much smarter than Janet and Danny realize.
* OutlawCouple: It turns out that Danny and Janet are one, and she's the one who is carrying the bonds. Her rap sheet reveals that she uses "Blanche Dilworthy" and "Michigan Red" as aliases.
* SexyBacklessOutfit: Janet wears one for dinner.
* ShotAtDawn: It turns out General Salazaro's revolution already happened, and failed. He is met at the dock and taken straight to his execution.

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