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''[[http://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html Harry Potter and the Portrait of what Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash]]'' is supposedly an additional book in the ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series… as written by [[http://botnik.org Botnik Studios]], who created it by feeding the seven original ''Harry Potter'' novels to a text-predicting keyboard and following its lunatic suggestion all the way.

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''[[http://botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html Harry Potter and the Portrait of what Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash]]'' is supposedly an additional book in the ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' series… as written by Creator/BotnikStudios [[http://botnik.org Botnik Studios]], org]], who created it by feeding the seven original ''Harry Potter'' novels to a text-predicting keyboard and following its lunatic suggestion all the way.


* InformedAttribute: The narration tells us that the death eaters “looked bad”, but they’re the kindest characters in the story. The worst things they do are [[DePower try to get rid of Harry’s magic]] (which, based on his actions, may not be a bad idea) and [[FunTShirt wear shirts that insult Hermione’s dancing.]]

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* InformedAttribute: InformedAttribute:
**
The narration tells us that the death eaters “looked bad”, but they’re the kindest characters in the story. The worst things they do are [[DePower try to get rid of Harry’s magic]] (which, based on his actions, may not be a bad idea) and [[FunTShirt wear shirts that insult Hermione’s dancing.]]]]
** We're told that Hermione is "reasonable", but she doesn't appear to be any more sane than Harry or Ron, having no reaction to Ron eating her family or Harry trying to eat her but being enraged by a t-shirt that suggests [[BerserkButton she has forgotten how to dance]].


[[caption-width-right:250:Magic: it was something Harry Potter thought was very good.

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[[caption-width-right:250:Magic: it was something Harry Potter thought was very good.
good.]]

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[[caption-width-right:250:Magic: it was something Harry Potter thought was very good.

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* MadeOfExplodium: Random mountains of mice explode at one point for no discernible reason.


* SirNotAppearingInThisTrailer: The narration makes sure to point out that the Dursleys are not going to come to Hogwarts in ''[[TitleDrop Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. ]]''


And no, no portrait of what looks like a large pile of ash appears in ''The Handsome One''.

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And no, no portrait of what looks like a large pile of ash appears in ''The "The Handsome One''.
One."



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* AffablyEvil: The Death Eaters of all people, for all the narration says that they ''"looked bad"''. They behave nicest out of anyone in the story and are actually kind of adorable, happily witnessing two shy members confessing their love for each other.

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* AffablyEvil: The Death Eaters Eaters, of all people, for all the narration says that they ''"looked bad"''. They behave the nicest out of anyone in the story and are actually kind of adorable, happily witnessing two shy members confessing their love feelings for each other.



** Was "Harry's ghost", at which leathery sheets of rain lashed out, the ghost of a temporarily-deceased Harry? A fanciful term for his soul? Or a ghost which belongs to Harry as a sort of pet? If the latter is true, is that ghost Mr. Staircase?

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** Was "Harry's ghost", at which leathery sheets of rain lashed out, lashed, the ghost of a temporarily-deceased Harry? A fanciful term for his soul? Or a ghost which belongs to Harry as a sort of pet? If the latter is true, is that ghost Mr. Staircase?



** Canon Ron is TheMcCoy, occasionally boorish, and worries about not keeping up with his friends; this Ron has bizarre OutsideContextMagic that makes Harry dislike him and constantly does stupid things like [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks throwing a wand at Voldemort]].

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** Canon Ron is TheMcCoy, occasionally boorish, and worries about not keeping up with his friends; this Ron has bizarre OutsideContextMagic that makes Harry dislike him and constantly does stupid things like [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks throwing a wand at Voldemort]]. He also becomes covered in spiders for no clear reason, and seems relatively calm about it, while Canon Ron is ''terrified'' of spiders.



* CrackFic: Obviously, from the random OOC-ness of, well, everyone to the utterly improbable magical events surrounding Hogwarts (sheets of leathery rain, Ron turning into spiders).
* DePower: The Death Eaters' plan to get rid of Harry's magic.

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* CrackFic: Obviously, from the random OOC-ness of, well, everyone to the utterly improbable magical events surrounding Hogwarts (sheets of leathery rain, Ron turning into spiders)."being spiders").
* DePower: The Death Eaters' plan Eaters are plotting to get rid of Harry's magic.



* FateWorseThanDeath: Ron, who's deadly afraid of spiders in canon, was going to be spiders. ''He just was.''

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* FateWorseThanDeath: Ron, who's deadly afraid of spiders in canon, was going to be spiders. ''He "He just was.'' "



** A tall Death Eater (possibly Voldemort) somehow wears a shirt that says ''"Hermione has forgotten how to dance"''. It annoys Hermione enough [[BerserkButton for her to dip the Death Eater's face in mud]].

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** A tall Death Eater (possibly Voldemort) somehow for some reason wears a shirt that says ''"Hermione has forgotten how to dance"''. It annoys Hermione enough [[BerserkButton for her to dip the Death Eater's face in mud]].



* TheGhost: The Dursleys, who are mentioned in only one scene but never appear. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]], since we only see one chapter of the book which takes place at Hogwarts, and, as [[LampshadeHanging the narrator is keen to mention]], the Dursleys have never been to the Hogwarts castle, and have no intention of going there.

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* TheGhost: The Dursleys, who are mentioned in only one scene but never appear. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]], since we only see one chapter of the book which takes place at Hogwarts, and, as [[LampshadeHanging the narrator is keen to mention]], the Dursleys have never been to the Hogwarts castle, and have no intention of going there.



** One of the first, and most oft-quoted sentences is: "[Ron] saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family."

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** One of the first, first and most oft-quoted sentences is: "[Ron] saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family."



* InMediasRes: It starts on Chapter Thirteen.



* InMediasRes: It starts on Chapter Thirteen.



%%* OutsideContextMagic: Ron’s “Ron Magic”.

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%%* * OutsideContextMagic: Ron’s “Ron Magic”.Ron suggests the use of what he calls "Ron Magic," though it's never clarified exactly what that is or what it does.



* ReplacementGoldfish: Hagrid apparently [[DroppedABridgeOnHim got a bridge dropped on him]], because Dumbledore ceremoniously knights a pig with these words: ''"You are Hagrid now."''

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* ReplacementGoldfish: Hagrid apparently [[DroppedABridgeOnHim got a bridge dropped on him]], because Dumbledore ceremoniously knights a pig with these words: ''"You "You are Hagrid now."'' "



** The title of the book as a whole gets dropped near the end... In a line saying the Dursleys will not be appearing in [[ShapedLikeItself a story of that title]].
* TooDumbToLive: "Ron threw a wand at Voldemort and everybody applauded. Ron smiled. Ron reached for his wand slowly." Maybe throwing your only magical weapon against an enemy wizard isn't a bright idea. Though, since everyone (even Voldemort and the Death Eaters?) applauds, this could simply be part of his [[OutsideContextMagic "Ron Magic"]]. After all, Voldemort [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome disappears]] from the story after he throws the wand. There's also the fact that it says he threw ''a'' wand, rather than ''his'' wand, and then reached for ''his'' wand, [[AmbiguousSituation meaning he may have thrown someone else's wand]]

to:

** The title of the book as a whole gets dropped near the end... In in a line saying the Dursleys will not be appearing in [[ShapedLikeItself a story of that title]].
* TooDumbToLive: "Ron threw a wand at Voldemort and everybody applauded. Ron smiled. Ron reached for his wand slowly." Maybe throwing your only magical weapon against an enemy wizard isn't a bright idea. Though, since everyone (even Voldemort and the Death Eaters?) applauds, this could simply be part of his [[OutsideContextMagic "Ron Magic"]]. After all, Voldemort [[ChuckCunninghamSyndrome disappears]] from the story after he throws the wand. There's also the fact that it says he threw ''a'' wand, rather than ''his'' wand, and then reached for ''his'' wand, [[AmbiguousSituation meaning he may have thrown someone else's wand]]wand]].



* YourHeadAsplode: "They cast a spell or two, and jets of green light shot out of the Death Eaters' heads".
----

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* YourHeadAsplode: "They cast a spell or two, and jets of green light shot out of the Death Eaters' heads".
----
heads".


See also the unofficial sequel ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheRestOfTheSentence''; ''Fanfic/WelcomeToSandHands'', a ''Literature/GiveYourselfGoosebumps'' parody also created by Botnik Studios, and ''Fanfic/{{Coveralls}}'', a parody of ''Series/TheXFiles'' by Botnik Studios. Creator/ProZD reads the whole thing (in multiple character voices) [[https://youtu.be/VvpPxjCKTqc here]], and [=YouTuber=] Smashiell created an AnimatedAdaptation (and [[RecycledTheSeries several sequel episodes]]) over [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avOsvIWJlQk&list=PLexCibCDw1jf1chZwl_LYcUeo0i-zMjtG&index=1 here]].

to:

See also the unofficial sequel ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheRestOfTheSentence''; sequels ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheRestOfTheSentence'' and ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndNoOneInParticular''; ''Fanfic/WelcomeToSandHands'', a ''Literature/GiveYourselfGoosebumps'' parody also created by Botnik Studios, and ''Fanfic/{{Coveralls}}'', a parody of ''Series/TheXFiles'' by Botnik Studios. Creator/ProZD reads the whole thing (in multiple character voices) [[https://youtu.be/VvpPxjCKTqc here]], and [=YouTuber=] Smashiell created an AnimatedAdaptation (and [[RecycledTheSeries several sequel episodes]]) over [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avOsvIWJlQk&list=PLexCibCDw1jf1chZwl_LYcUeo0i-zMjtG&index=1 here]].


* AdaptationalVillainy: Ron begins [[ExaggeratedTrope eating Hermione's family]] by the end of the second paragraph.

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* AdaptationalVillainy: AdaptationalVillainy:
**
Ron begins [[ExaggeratedTrope eating Hermione's family]] by the end of the second paragraph.paragraph.
** Harry dips Hermione in hot sauce (possibly planning to eat her) and later gloats about Ron no longer being handsome.



* AmbiguouslyGay: The two Death Eaters, though their genders are never specified.

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* AmbiguouslyBi: Harry mutters about Ron being handsome, while Canon Harry has had crushes on Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley.
%%*
AmbiguouslyGay: The two Death Eaters, though their genders are never specified.



** "We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us."

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** %%** "We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us."



* CharacterNameAndTheNounPhrase: The ''very long'' noun phrase, in this case.

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* CharacterExaggeration: Because ''POWLLALPOA'' is based on the actual novels, it gives a heavily exaggerated rendition of all the characters.
** Canon Ron is TheMcCoy, occasionally boorish, and worries about not keeping up with his friends; this Ron has bizarre OutsideContextMagic that makes Harry dislike him and constantly does stupid things like [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks throwing a wand at Voldemort]].
** Canon Hermione is hyper-intelligent, very composed, and insecure about not being a perfect genius; this Hermione is calm and composed even after [[ImAHumanitarian Ron eats her family]] and apparently holds no grudge against Harry for dipping her in hot sauce, but gets very angry when a Death Eater's shirt claims that she's forgotten how to dance.
** Canon Harry is a bit hotheaded and very concerned with doing the right thing as TheChosenOne; this Harry (alongside Ron) is implied to outright kill a few Death Eaters and insists "the Dark Arts better be worried" even as he spends a whole summer falling down a flight of stairs.
** Even the castle itself gets exaggerated, its usual mystical quirkiness escalated to full EldritchLocation status with "leathery" rain, "snarling" wind, furniture that sounds like it's in pain, and a lightless sky full of blood. [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Harry thinks it's pretty swell though.]]
%%*
CharacterNameAndTheNounPhrase: The ''very long'' noun phrase, in this case.



* {{Flanderization}}: Because ''POWLLALPOA'' is based on the actual novels, it gives a heavily exaggerated rendition of all the characters.
** Canon Ron is TheMcCoy, occasionally boorish, and worries about not keeping up with his friends; this Ron has bizarre OutsideContextMagic that makes Harry dislike him and constantly does stupid things like [[ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks throwing a wand at Voldemort]].
** Canon Hermione is hyper-intelligent, very composed, and insecure about not being a perfect genius; this Hermione is calm and composed even after [[ImAHumanitarian Ron eats her family]] and apparently holds no grudge against Harry for dipping her in hot sauce, but gets very angry when a Death Eater's shirt claims that she's forgotten how to dance.
** Canon Harry is a bit hotheaded and very concerned with doing the right thing as TheChosenOne; this Harry (alongside Ron) is implied to outright kill a few Death Eaters and insists "the Dark Arts better be worried" even as he spends a whole summer falling down a flight of stairs.
** Even the castle itself gets flanderized, its usual mystical quirkiness escalated to full EldritchLocation status with "leathery" rain, "snarling" wind, furniture that sounds like it's in pain, and a lightless sky full of blood. [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Harry thinks it's pretty swell though.]]



* OutsideContextMagic: Ron’s “Ron Magic”.

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* %%* OutsideContextMagic: Ron’s “Ron Magic”.



* StupidSexyFlanders: "Ron's the handsome one," muttered Harry.

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* %%* StupidSexyFlanders: "Ron's the handsome one," muttered Harry.


And no, no portrait of what looks like a large pile of ash appears in ''The Handsome One''. This is a joke about the cover art for ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'' also used for the parody book.

to:

And no, no portrait of what looks like a large pile of ash appears in ''The Handsome One''. This is a joke about the cover art for ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'' also used for the parody book.
One''.


See also the unofficial sequel ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheRestOfTheSentence''; ''Fanfic/WelcomeToSandHands'', a ''Literature/GiveYourselfGoosebumps'' parody also created by Botnik Studios. Creator/ProZD reads the whole thing (in multiple character voices) [[https://youtu.be/VvpPxjCKTqc here]], and [=YouTuber=] Smashiell created an AnimatedAdaptation (and [[RecycledTheSeries several sequel episodes]]) over [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avOsvIWJlQk&list=PLexCibCDw1jf1chZwl_LYcUeo0i-zMjtG&index=1 here]].

to:

See also the unofficial sequel ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheRestOfTheSentence''; ''Fanfic/WelcomeToSandHands'', a ''Literature/GiveYourselfGoosebumps'' parody also created by Botnik Studios, and ''Fanfic/{{Coveralls}}'', a parody of ''Series/TheXFiles'' by Botnik Studios. Creator/ProZD reads the whole thing (in multiple character voices) [[https://youtu.be/VvpPxjCKTqc here]], and [=YouTuber=] Smashiell created an AnimatedAdaptation (and [[RecycledTheSeries several sequel episodes]]) over [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avOsvIWJlQk&list=PLexCibCDw1jf1chZwl_LYcUeo0i-zMjtG&index=1 here]].

Added DiffLines:

* WhamLine: Of a sort. Up until the line "He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family," most of the story's weirdness can be dismissed as merely an odd choice of language, poetic or otherwise.


** Similarly, Harry faces Voldemort, "rips out his eyes and throws them into the Forest". Harry's eyes, or ''Voldemort''[='s=] eyes? The latter would make a little more sense for Harry to do (though it would raise the question of why Voldemort's [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction only response]] was to [[FascinatingEyebrow raise an eyebrow]]), but the former is [[RuleOfFunny funnier]], as a few sentences later it is mentioned that Harry "could not see anything at the moment", which becomes a hilarious CaptainObvious statement if he'd previously torn out his eyes.

to:

** Similarly, Harry faces Voldemort, "rips out his eyes and throws them into the Forest". Harry's eyes, or ''Voldemort''[='s=] eyes? The latter would make a little more sense for Harry to do (though it would raise the question of why Voldemort's [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction only response]] was to [[FascinatingEyebrow raise an eyebrow]]), but the former is [[RuleOfFunny funnier]], as a few sentences later it is mentioned that Harry "could not see anything at the moment", which becomes a hilarious CaptainObvious statement if he'd previously torn out his eyes. [[note]] The way it is written (Harry tore his eyes from his head) under English language rules means that yes, he removed his own eyes because he was the last character mentioned. [[/note]]


** Similarly, Harry faces Voldemort, "rips out his eyes and throws them into the Forest". Harry's eyes, or ''Voldemort''[='s=] eyes? The latter would make a little more sense for Harry to do, but the former is [[RuleOfFunny funnier]], as a few sentences later it is mentioned that Harry "could not see anything at the moment", which becomes a hilarious CaptainObvious statement if he'd previously torn out his eyes.

to:

** Similarly, Harry faces Voldemort, "rips out his eyes and throws them into the Forest". Harry's eyes, or ''Voldemort''[='s=] eyes? The latter would make a little more sense for Harry to do, do (though it would raise the question of why Voldemort's [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction only response]] was to [[FascinatingEyebrow raise an eyebrow]]), but the former is [[RuleOfFunny funnier]], as a few sentences later it is mentioned that Harry "could not see anything at the moment", which becomes a hilarious CaptainObvious statement if he'd previously torn out his eyes.


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* NightmareFetishist: Very likely Harry, considering he feels right at home at Hogwarts despite its many outright horrifying elements (sky full of blood, shrieking furniture, etc.)

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