History Characters / GoodEats

--->Who would have thunk [[EvilLawyerJoke those guys]] would have a problem with a [[StealthPun little]] [[IncrediblyLamePun 'lye']]?

* CatchPhrase: Several.

** "Walk away. Just--just ''walk away''." Often said when warning the audience ''not'' to fiddle with cooking steps that would seem to invite fiddling.

*** {{Lampshade|Hanging}}d in the bread pudding episode where he delivers the line, then tells Thing to write it down. The camera pans over to show Thing writing in a '''gigantic''' binder labeled "... That's Another Show". Alton remarks "Wow, that's a thick book." Ironically, this was in one of the last episodes to be aired, so unless there's a SpiritualSequel...

** Usually he does this not only because it's cheaper, but because every time he starts building one (or is forced to go buy more cookware) he brings up the fact that there's only one unitasker he'll abide in his kitchen, and if you're doing things right you shouldn't have to use ''it'' at all--a fire extinguisher. And in the 10th-Anniversary special, [[spoiler:''he uses that in a dish too''.]] [[note]]Although the one he used in the show was a CO[-2-] extinguisher, instead of the chemical one always displayed previously.[[/note]]

* TheWatson: In "The Fungal Gourmet", in an inversion of his usual role, the fourth-wall "character" makes suggestions to a clueless Alton.[[/folder]]

A Nutritional Anthropologist who shows up pretty much whenever Alton mentions a nutritional anthropologist - or when he ''thinks'' of a nutritional anthropologist - or when an ''[[NoFourthWall audience member]]'' thinks of a nutritional anthropologist - to help explain the history of dishes.

** Actually averted in ''The Bulb of the Night'', where her title is mentioned, but she fails to show up.

** He says it again in the popcorn show, to a popcorn vendor whose actor (Lucky Yates) plays many roles on the show (most famously, the Dungeonmaster). He replies: "Oh yeah? Wait 'till you see the next scene." Sure enough, he does show up in the next scene--playing Franchise/{{Batman}}.

* EvilTwin: This is his aesthetic. [[spoiler:This was actually inverted in "Sub Standards", where it was revealed in the last few minutes that B.A. had played the entire episode as Alton. (Appropriately, that episode was about culinary substitutions.)]]

* CharacterizationMarchesOn: Chuck was originally a quirky butcher. Over the course of the series he became more of a [[GeorgeJetsonJobSecurity job-hopping]] CloudCuckoolander who knew so little about meat -- except for turkey -- that he didn't know what pot roast is.
* CloudCuckoolander: Over the course of the series he became this, job-hopping and knowing so little about meat that he didn't know what pot roast is.

* CloudCuckooLander: Usually chalked up to senility.

* TheWatson: Often serves this role.

A set of government agents who appear to explain food-related law - and who also generally appear to prevent AB from eating home-prepared food which skirts those laws. The lead agent is played by Alton.

AB's "Biggest Fan". Played by Widdi Turner.

* {{Expy}}: Of Annie Wilkes from Literature/{{Misery}}.
* {{Yandere}}: Toward Alton Brown, much like the above (though greatly sanitized - this is a cooking show, after all).

* CatchPhrase: "I'm not a doctor, but that had to hurt!"

* FrenchJerk [=/=] FrenchCuisineIsHaughty: He's used to represent the culinary establishment in all its snooty French glory.

* PutOnABus: Steve Rooney is no longer cast as the Mad Chef when the production company changed from Means St. to B Square. The character gets shipped off after "Crêpe Expectations".

* YouLookFamiliar: Rooney appears as a chef named Jacques in the episode "A Bowl Full of Onion". Whether or not that's his name is up for debate.

* AnnoyingYoungerSibling: Well, she's not that much younger, but still...

* SitcomArchNemesis: Marsha is the stereotypical annoying sibling who cons or manipulates you into doing things for her and never shows gratitude.

Played by Zoey Brown.

Marsha's picky but intelligent daughter. Appears in one episode fully ("Undercover Veggies"), and a cameo in the 2nd thanksgiving special.

* [[OneSceneWonder One-Episode Wonder]]: Her end cameo in Alton's countdown to T-Day.
* PickyEater: Utterly refuses to eat vegetables.
* RealLifeRelative: She's played by Alton's daughter Zoey.

* YouLookFamiliar: The same actor plays Alton's grandfather in "Romancing the Bird" and "What's Up, Duck?"

* ButtMonkey: He's usually on the rough side of things, for example having his ice sculpture ducks melted in the duck episode or being BrainwashedAndCrazy in ''Mission: Poachable''. That said, the actor portraying him gets his own as other characters.
* TheDanza: He's played by head prop master Paul Merchant.
* ADayInTheLimelight: Paul, in a rare non-ButtMonkey appearance, is wildly successful in "Dip Madness" as Alton is committed in an asylum for foodies. [[spoiler:It doesn't last; Alton eventually escapes, leaving Paul to take his place.]]

* Fauxreigner: He's revealed to be this at the end of "Use Your Noodle 5".

* LargeHam: Arguably the hammiest character Hansard has played on the show--especially when he and Alton are discussing miso at the Japanese deli.

* VisualPun: After imbibing too much brandy in "School of Hard Nogs", Thing has a numeral 1 attached to itself by a string. Alton remarks, "You really tied one on, didn't you?"

* DeadpanSnarker

** Her casting as Alton's recurring antagonist was due to her being his chiropractor - a literal pain in his neck.

** W has had a bit of an interesting story arc--she started as something of a VirtualGhost, appearing on giant screens behind Alton and on microwave doors and so forth. Then she [[BecomeARealBoy becomes real]], managing the Bed Bath & Beyond where he shops. Then, apparently, he hires her onto his organization, as she only shows up in a "lab" type of environment, testing and evaluating products.

* [[OneSceneWonder One-Episode Wonder]]
* ScaryBlackMan: How Carver is initially portrayed during Alton's dream at the start of "Peanut Gallery". This is before Alton wakes up and then screams after [[Film/TheGodfather seeing his bed filled with peanuts]].

** Actually; He's more like a JacobMarleyWarning than a stereotypical ScaryBlackMan. Of course; He's still a black man ''and'' a ghost so "Scary Black Man" would still be true in a more literal sense, regardless of lack of brawn and brutishness.

The French scientist whom which [[TheNamesake pasteurization]]--[[KillItWithFire the use of heat to kill bacteria]]--is named. Shows up [[OneSceneWonder briefly]] in "Milk Made".

* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Averted! Once he's introduced, [[KillItWithFire he appears with a flamethrower mounted on his back]]. He puts it to good use once the Food Police helicopter arrives outside Alton's house. Pasteur blows up the helicopter--[[TakingYouWithMe along with himself]]--in the scuffle.

* MemeticBadass. He uses the flamethrower and Alton has a shrine to the guy in one of his kitchen cupboards.
* OneSceneWonder

* RealLifeWritesThePlot: W's depiction in early episodes as a VirtualGhost came about because Vicki Eng (the actress who portrays W) was overseas trying to adopt a child, and had to film her appearances in advance.

** [[NiceHat "Like the hat?"]] This one was popularized by a Website/YouTube uploader adding a clip of Alton saying this from the first season episode ''The Egg-Files'' after a [[SmallNameBigEgo long obnoxious title card]] at the start of every episode uploaded.

* UpToEleven: In the episode "Behind the Bird":
-->'''Paul:''' I made this one. It goes to eleven!\\
'''Blair:''' Why not just make ten higher?\\
'''Paul:''' ''But it goes to eleven!''\\
'''Alton:''' Okay, hey! You know what, Paul? Time out! Time out! (''sends Paul to the corner'')

* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: Ygor is pronounced "wye-gor".

* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: In "A Chuck for Chuck", Chuck is the owner of a family fun center named Gobble Golf.

* AuthorExistenceFailure: Passed away in October 2019, after a battle with brain cancer.

* AuthorExistenceFailure: She passed away in 2001.

* {{Adorkable}}: His sheer nerdy enthusiasm for the science and food of the show can be quite endearing.

* {{Adorkable}}: Echoes Alton in nerdy adorableness, with the addition of youth.

* PutOnABus[=/=]RealLifeWritesThePlot: In ''The Early Years'', Alton says we probably won't be seeing Elton anymore because his actor, John Herina, was in college, a football player, and taller than AB, which would undermine his role as TheWatson. The Middle Years further elaborates that the college in question was West Point.

!!'''Alton Brown'''

* SitcomArchNemesis: Alton and W [[InUniverse view each other like this]]. W often treats Alton like walking [[invoked]]SnarkBait, while Alton tends to deliberately antagonize her in return. This is because he usually prefers his homebrew knockups, and W makes her living selling [[CripplingOverspecialization the very unitaskers Alton disdains]].

* SitcomArchNemesis: Alton and W [[InUniverse view each other like this]]. W often treats Alton like walking SnarkBait, while Alton tends to deliberately antagonize her in return. This is because he usually prefers his homebrew knockups, and W makes her living selling [[CripplingOverspecialization the very unitaskers Alton disdains]].

** In later episodes, the music that plays whenever he builds something is clearly influenced by Series/MacGyver's theme. The theme also has a touch of the "build music" from ''Series/TheATeam''.

* AuthorExistenceFailure: Passed away in October 2014, after a battle with brain cancer.

--->'''Alton''': (''[[NoFourthWall looks into the camera]]'') All right! Which one of you said it!

** He does say it word for word to the oven salesman (Bart Hansard, the same actor that plays Coco Carl) in the soufflé show.
---> '''Oven salesman''': No, I don't. (flees)

!!'''Colonel Bob Boatwright'''
A southern-fried gentleman character played by Alton, used to present highly-archetypal (or stereotypical) Southern dishes.

* BunnyEarsLawyer: Despite his advanced age and [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} rather goofy personality]], he clearly knows what he's doing when it comes to cooking.
* [[CaptainErsatz Colonel Ersatz]]: The character is an obvious take on [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Sanders Colonel Harland Sanders]], founder of UsefulNotes/KentuckyFriedChicken.
* CloudCuckooLander: Usually chalked up to senility.

* DisguisedInDrag: Once assumed the identity of "Auntie Puddin'".

!!'''The Dungeonmaster'''
Played by [[WesternAnimation/{{Archer}} Lucky Yates]]

A sallow, hunchbacked serf who [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin lives in a dungeon below AB's kitchen]]. The DungeonMaster shows up in later seasons to display particularly scary-looking or old-fashioned cooking implements.

* BasementDweller: Literally, seeing as he resides in a dungeon under Alton's house.
* BizarreTasteInFood: In "There Will Be Oil", the Dungeon Master wants to use Alton's prototype oil press for his own personal use to produce [[{{Squick}} frog oil]].
* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Alton addresses him as "Dungeon Master", which, given the nature of the show, [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep may well be his actual name]].
* EvenEvilHasStandards: He's nasty, but winces in fear upon hearing W's name.
* TheIgor: With the dark robes, hunch, and habit of calling AB "Mahster", he's obviously designed with this image in mind.
* LargeHam: Standard operating mode for Lucky Yates.
* TooKinkyToTorture: When he's ordered to skim the moat in punishment for having bought some expensive equipment on Alton's credit card, he hops in glee, claps, and goes to fetch his [[{{Squick}} "lucky straw"]].
* TortureTechnician: He supplies Alton with tortilla-making implements and a few other delightful terrors, like a device that uses blades for tenderizing meat. He seems to be renting Alton's dungeon basement solely for the opportunity to do this particular job, because his lease favors the landlord heavily; Alton can evict him at a moment's notice if he's not happy with his tenant's job performance.

* PutOnABus[=/=]RealLifeWritesThePlot: In The Early Years, Alton says we probably won't be seeing Elton anymore because his actor, John Herina, was in college, a football player, and taller than AB, which would undermine his role as TheWatson. The Middle Years further elaborates that the college in question was West Point.

A set of government agents who appear to explain food-related law - and who also generally appear to prevent AB from eating home-prepared food which skirts those laws.

!!'''Lactose Man/Lever Man'''
Played by Paul Merchant.

A living incarnation of the pains of lactose intolerance. Yes, Good Eats is a weird show.

* CatchPhrase: "I'm not a doctor, but that had to hurt!"
* IncomingHam: "'''''I'M LACTOSE MAN!'''''" The other "superhero" in that costume, Lever Man, has the same tendency.

* DontTryThisAtHome: This is their ''raison d'etre''. If Alton is talking about doing something potentially dangerous (such as consuming dishes containing raw meat or eggs, working with caustics, or using burning charcoal inside the house), they'll often show up to stop him, forcing him to find a different (and safer) way to do the same thing.

A fae creature who lives inside Alton's fridge and talks about refrigeration, food preservation, and nutrition. Played by dietitian Carolyn O'Neil, as noted above.

* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: He disappeared after Brown left Means Street Productions (at which Rooney was employed as their executive chef) to start his own company, Be Square Productions, at the end of season four. The character only appeared once more after he left, in the form of a nightmare-induced puppet voiced by Brown.

Marsha's picky but intelligent daughter. Appears in one episode fully, and a cameo in the 2nd thanksgiving special.

!'''Mr. [=MacGregor=]'''

!!'''Sid Maxburg'''

!!'''[=Samurai=] Deli Owner'''
Played by Bart Hansard

The owner of the Japanese specialty food shop, first seen in "Turning Japanese".

* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: Everything he says is either [[MotorMouth sped-up English]] with stereotypical Japanese pronunciation... or it's complete gibberish. Comes close to becoming AsianSpeekeeEngrish.
* Fauxreigner: He's revealed to be this at the end of "Use Your Noodle 5".
--> '''SDO:''' ''(describing Alton)'' What a weirdo.
* TheIdiotFromOsaka
--> '''Alton:''' Wow. I didn't get his accent. He must be from Osaka or something.
* LargeHam: Probably the hammiest character Hansard has played on the show--especially when he and Alton are discussing miso at the deli.
* ShoutOut: Likely inspired by John Belushi's Samurai Delicatessen character from ''Series/SaturdayNightLive''.

* CoolOldGuy

* JacobMarleyApparel: And it's a long garland of peanuts.