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* There is a joke about a German tourist in England who attempts to order a "blutiges Steak", i. e. rare steak, translating it literally as "[[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch bloody]] steak". The waiter asks him if he wants some fucking potatoes with it.

to:

* There is a joke about a German tourist in England an English restaurant who attempts wants to order a "blutiges Steak", i. e. "ein blutiges Steak" (a rare steak, translating it literally as "[[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch steak). He asks for "a [[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch bloody]] steak". The steak" and the waiter asks him if he wants some fucking potatoes with it.


* Russian jokes love to do this with English in general, as everything can be a {{Mondegreen}}. A popular joke about the English saying "Easy come, easy go" means "Izya came, then Izya left".

to:

* Russian jokes love to do this with English in general, as everything can be a {{Mondegreen}}.mondegreen. A popular joke about the English saying "Easy come, easy go" means "Izya came, then Izya left".



** A man sees an ad for "Fast English Lessons". He enters the building and asks: "This the place where I can take English lessons?" "If, if, between!" (''Si'' being both the word used for an hypothetical statement: "If" and the affirmative answer to a negative question: "Yes"; ''Entre'' is the imperative form of the verb ''Entrer'', which means "enter", and also the word corresponding to "between").

to:

** A man sees an ad for "Fast English Lessons". He enters the building and asks: "This the place where I can take English lessons?" "If, if, between!" (''Si'' being both the word used for an a hypothetical statement: "If" and the affirmative answer to a negative question: "Yes"; ''Entre'' is the imperative form of the verb ''Entrer'', which means "enter", and also the word corresponding to "between").


** A similar joke about the German word "bekommen" (a [[InMyLanguageThatSoundsLike false friend]] -- it means "to get" -- as in to obtain, not to become): an impatient customer asks when he'll become a steak, and the waiter replies "I hope never, Sir!"

to:

** A similar joke about the German word "bekommen" (a [[InMyLanguageThatSoundsLike false friend]] -- friend]]; it means "to get" -- as in to obtain, "to obtain", not to become): "to become"): an impatient customer asks when he'll become a steak, and the waiter replies "I hope never, Sir!"


** A similar joke about the German word "bekommen" [[note]] "to get" [[/note]] features an impatient customer asking when he would become a steak. The waiter answers: "I hope never, Sir!"

to:

** A similar joke about the German word "bekommen" [[note]] (a [[InMyLanguageThatSoundsLike false friend]] -- it means "to get" [[/note]] features -- as in to obtain, not to become): an impatient customer asking asks when he would he'll become a steak. The steak, and the waiter answers: replies "I hope never, Sir!"

Added DiffLines:

[[BlindIdiotTranslation Spoken happiness]] (Jokes)
----


* There is a Russian joke about two people meeting on the street somewhere in London. Their conversion goes as this:
--> - Which watch? [[note]] the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch."[[/note]]

to:

* There is a Russian joke (probably based on a scene with a similar joke in ''Film/{{Casablanca}}'') about two people meeting on the street somewhere in London. Their conversion goes as this:
-->
thus:
->
- Which watch? [[note]] the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch."[[/note]]

Added DiffLines:

** A similar joke about the German word "bekommen" [[note]] "to get" [[/note]] features an impatient customer asking when he would become a steak. The waiter answers: "I hope never, Sir!"


** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath advertised with its GratuitousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".

to:

** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath was advertised with its GratuitousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".


--> - Which watch? [[spoiler: the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch"]]

to:

--> - Which watch? [[spoiler: [[note]] the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch"]]"wristwatch."[[/note]]


--> - Six clocks. [[spoiler: again, word "часы" could mean "hours" or "clock"; this speaker means "six hours".]]
--> - Such much? [[spoiler: "So late?" or something like that.]]
--> - Whom how. [[spoiler: Literal translation of Russian "кому как", which is a common idiom for saying "depends on the point of view".]]
--> - MGIMO finishd? [[spoiler: MGIMO is an acronym for one of the top Russian colleges for those who would work in foreign relations. Presumably their command of English is the best in Russia. Extra points if you can pronounce it so that it's clear it is "finishd", not "finished".]]
--> - Ask! [[spoiler: Russan: "Спрашиваете!", literally "You ask!" is a short form of "You even need to ask!", meaning "Of course".]]

to:

--> - Six clocks. [[spoiler: [[note]] again, word "часы" could mean "hours" or "clock"; this speaker means "six hours".]]
hours."[[/note]]
--> - Such much? [[spoiler: [[note]] "So late?" or something like that.]]
[[/note]]
--> - Whom how. [[spoiler: [[note]] Literal translation of Russian "кому как", which is a common idiom for saying "depends on the point of view".]]
view."[[/note]]
--> - MGIMO finishd? [[spoiler: [[note]] MGIMO is an acronym for one of the top Russian colleges for those who would work in foreign relations. Presumably their command of English is the best in Russia. Extra points if you can pronounce it so that it's clear it is "finishd", not "finished".]]
"finished."[[/note]]
--> - Ask! [[spoiler: [[note]] Russan: "Спрашиваете!", literally "You ask!" is a short form of "You even need to ask!", meaning "Of course".]]course."[[/note]]


** An American nun goes to France but gets lost. She asks a local if he speaks English and he proudly responds "Yes, sir" ("sur" (Sister) is pronounced the same as "sir").

to:

** An American nun goes to France but gets lost. She asks a local if he speaks English and he proudly responds "Yes, sir" ("sur" (Sister) is pronounced the same as "sir")."sir").
----


** A man sees an ad for "Fast English Lessons". He enters the building and asks: "This isn't the place where I can take English lessons?" "If, if, between!" (''Si'' being both the word used for an hypothetical statement: "If" and the affirmative answer to a negative question: "Yes"; ''Entre'' is the imperative form of the verb ''Entrer'', which means "enter", and also the word corresponding to "between").

to:

** A man sees an ad for "Fast English Lessons". He enters the building and asks: "This isn't the place where I can take English lessons?" "If, if, between!" (''Si'' being both the word used for an hypothetical statement: "If" and the affirmative answer to a negative question: "Yes"; ''Entre'' is the imperative form of the verb ''Entrer'', which means "enter", and also the word corresponding to "between")."between").
** An American nun goes to France but gets lost. She asks a local if he speaks English and he proudly responds "Yes, sir" ("sur" (Sister) is pronounced the same as "sir").


** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath advertised with its GratuitousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".

to:

** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath advertised with its GratuitousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".sucker".
* There is a French joke that goes like this:
** A man sees an ad for "Fast English Lessons". He enters the building and asks: "This isn't the place where I can take English lessons?" "If, if, between!" (''Si'' being both the word used for an hypothetical statement: "If" and the affirmative answer to a negative question: "Yes"; ''Entre'' is the imperative form of the verb ''Entrer'', which means "enter", and also the word corresponding to "between").


-> - Which watch? [[spoiler: the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch"]]
-> - Six clocks. [[spoiler: again, word "часы" could mean "hours" or "clock"; this speaker means "six hours".]]
-> - Such much? [[spoiler: "So late?" or something like that.]]
-> - Whom how. [[spoiler: Literal translation of Russian "кому как", which is a common idiom for saying "depends on the point of view".]]
-> - MGIMO finishd? [[spoiler: MGIMO is an acronym for one of the top Russian colleges for those who would work in foreign relations. Presumably their command of English is the best in Russia. Extra points if you can pronounce it so that it's clear it is "finishd", not "finished".]]
-> - Ask! [[spoiler: Russan: "Спрашиваете!", literally "You ask!" is a short form of "You even need to ask!", meaning "Of course".]]

to:

-> --> - Which watch? [[spoiler: the speaker means "Which hour?", which is very common way to ask for time in Russian; Russian word "часы" could mean either "hours" or "wristwatch"]]
-> --> - Six clocks. [[spoiler: again, word "часы" could mean "hours" or "clock"; this speaker means "six hours".]]
-> --> - Such much? [[spoiler: "So late?" or something like that.]]
-> --> - Whom how. [[spoiler: Literal translation of Russian "кому как", which is a common idiom for saying "depends on the point of view".]]
-> --> - MGIMO finishd? [[spoiler: MGIMO is an acronym for one of the top Russian colleges for those who would work in foreign relations. Presumably their command of English is the best in Russia. Extra points if you can pronounce it so that it's clear it is "finishd", not "finished".]]
-> --> - Ask! [[spoiler: Russan: "Спрашиваете!", literally "You ask!" is a short form of "You even need to ask!", meaning "Of course".]]


** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath advertised with its GratuituousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".

to:

** As an example of this, when Vidal Sassoon shampoo brand wath advertised with its GratuituousEnglish GratuitousEnglish slogan "Vidal Sasson - wash and go", a joke was that the aforementioned slogan translates as "a lice will leave when it sees a sucker".

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