History Awesome / EverybodyHatesChris

--> '''Rochelle''': [[InsaneTrollLogic If you didn't like them, why did you eat them?]] Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do!]] (''To [[LazyBum Michael]]'') And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I ''slap'' the jam out of your toes! (''To Charlotte, alias "[[ProneToTears Aunt Grievey]]"'') Aunt Grievey, [[QuitYourWhining stop all that crying!]] [[ExcessiveMourning You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day! Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, cause it ain't that damn sad!]] And hang up my phone! (''To [[TheUnintelligible Aunt Mousey]]'') And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. ''Intimidates rodents squeaking'' You sound like a damn rat. Use. Your. Words! You're damn near 60 years old! (''Addressing her mother one last time'') And Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.

--> '''Rochelle''': [[InsaneTrollLogic If you didn't like them, why did you eat them?]] Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do!]] (''To [[LazyBum Michael]]'') And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. (''To Charlotte, alias "[[ProneToTears Aunt Grievey]]"'') Aunt Grievey, [[QuitYourWhining stop all that crying.]] [[ExcessiveMourning You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, cause it ain't that damn sad!]] And hang up my phone! (''To [[TheUnintelligible Aunt Mousey]]'') And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! (''Addressing her mother one last time'') And Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.

** In the episode “Everybody Hates Blackie”, when the police tell Rochelle about the prank calls, she asks Chris if he knows about them, he truthfully denies it, and Rochelle doesn’t immediately blame him for doing so. Drew and Tonya are rightfully punished

* In the pilot Chris mocking Caruso and successfully getting a few hits against him in their fight, especially when he breaks free by stomping on Caruso's foot, gets his bus pass pack and just barely manages to outrun Caruso and the mob and gets on the bus just in the nick of time.

--> '''Rochelle''': [[InsaneTrollLogic If you didn't like them, why did you eat them?]] Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do!]] (''To [[LazyBum Michael]]'') And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. (''To Charlotte, alias "[[ProneToTears Aunt Grievey]]"'') Aunt Grievey, [[QuitYourWhining stop all that crying.]] [[ExcessiveMourning You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, cause it ain't that damn sad!]] And hang up my phone! (''[[TheUnintelligible To Aunt Mousey]]'') And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! (''Addressing her mother one last time'') And Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.

** In “Everybody Hates the Car”, Tonya hides Rochelle’s cigarettes in Chris’s drawer in hopes of framing him. However, Chris managed to find them and present them to his parents before this could happen. By the end of the scene, Chris is the only innocent person at the dinner table.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQxTvWxVvmU&list=FL99E3ZhTOBPmYyc6aX5zA0A Rochelle]] breaking out of her StepfordSmiler phase and standing up to her family, notably her mother, for walking over and criticizing her in "Everyone Hates Funerals", all completed with giving every single relative a ReasonYouSuckSpeech, the trigger being Rochelle's mother eating Rochelle's chocolate turtles. Below is the aforementioned speech...
--> '''Rochelle''': If you didn't like them, why did you eat them? Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do. (''To Michael'') And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. (''To Charlotte, alias "Aunt Grievey"'') Aunt Grievey, stop all that crying. You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, 'cause it ain't that damn sad. And hang up my phone! (''To Aunt Mousey'') And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! (''Addressing her mother one last time'') And Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.

-->'''Narrator''': ''Boys can't hit girls, but girls can still hit girls''.

--> '''Chris:''' Greg, right now, I'm standing up the most perfect girl in the world. Her family is amazing. They clapped when I entered. They laughed at everything I said. They gave me sweet potato pops. They even gave me this sweater. This sweater cost more than our car. Her parents are a lawyer and a doctor. Last time I saw a lawyer and a doctor together was when my uncle went to the hospital for a routine checkup and came out dead. So if you don't get your harmonica-playing, hole-in-the-sock-wearing, woe-is-me, I-should-have- everything-easy behind up, I'm gonna smack the cracker out of you.

* In "Everybody Hates Valentine's Day" Chris standing to Tangee's JerkAss boyfriend after he mistreats her until the guy gets kicked off the bus, it's the first time Chris is able to successfully stand up against someone bigger than him without getting his ass kicked.

--> '''Chris:''' Greg, right now, I'm standing up the most perfect girl in the world.
Her family is amazing. They clapped when I entered. They laughed at everything I said. They gave me sweet potato pops. They even gave me this sweater. This sweater cost more than our car. Her parents are a lawyer and a doctor. Last time I saw a lawyer and a doctor together was when my uncle went to the hospital for a routine checkup and came out dead. So if you don't get your harmonica-playing, hole-in-the-sock-wearing, woe-is-me, I-should-have- everything-easy behind up, I'm gonna smack the cracker out of you.

-->'''Narrator''': ''Boys can't hit girls, but girls can still hit girls''.

* In "Everybody Hates Elections" when running for class president, Chris is having no luck coming up with a speech, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBlJn99Hrbw so he ends up improvising one completely on the spot and manages to win the election ]].

* After everything that Chris went through in "Everybody Hates Bomb Threats" involving a speech he had to memorize, what does he do when his teacher tells him [[ExactWords he had to ]]''[[ExactWords memorize ]]''[[ExactWords it]], not ''recite'' it? He recites it... all of it... to his teacher, despite his protests, to the tune of "We're Not Gonna Take It". That may not sound awesome, but what really sells it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lBIhYPlOoI&t=6m32s is Chris' determination]].

* After everything that Chris went through in "Everybody Hates Bomb Threats" involving a speech he had to memorize, what does he do when his teacher tells him [[ExactWords he had to ]]''[[ExactWords memorize ]]''[[ExactWords it]], not ''recite'' it? [[spoiler: He recites it... all of it... to his teacher, despite his protests, to the tune of "We're Not Gonna Take It".]] That may not sound awesome, but what really sells it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lBIhYPlOoI&t=6m32s is Chris' determination]].

--> '''Rochelle''': "If you didn't like them, why did you eat them? Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do. '''(To Michael)''' And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. '''(To Charlotte, alias Aunt Grievey)''' Aunt Grievey, stop all that crying. You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, 'cause it ain't that damn sad. And hang up my phone! '''(To Aunt Mousey)''' And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! '''(Addressing her mother one last time)''' And, Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them."

'''Narrator''': ''I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.''

--> '''Julius''' (''Annoyed''): ''What'' are you doing up here, man?! Do you know you got traffic backed up all the way to exit the Lincoln Tunnel? It's New Year's Eve! People are trying to get home.
--> '''Man''' (''Glumly''): I can't do anything right...
--> '''Julius''': So you think you can fix that by jumping off a bridge?
--> '''Man''': [[TemptingFate Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.]]
--> '''Narrator''': ''He shouldn't have said that.''
--> '''Julius''': [[LongSpeechTeaTime What if everybody who ever had a problem jumped off a bridge? Geraldine Ferraro could've been our country's first female Vice President, but her party lost. She didn't jump off a bridge. Nelson Mandela's been in jail for over 20 years. He didn't jump off a bridge. Ivan Lendl got stomped by Boris Becker at Wimbledon. Didn't jump off a bridge. Trevor Berbick, he got knocked out by Mike Tyson in less than five minutes. He didn't jump off a bridge! Jermaine Jackson got kicked out of the Jacksons...]] (''Continued from where he was cut off by transition, and Julius is now on television'') [[LongSpeechTeaTime He didn't jump off a bridge. The Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series since 1908. They didn't jump off a bridge. James Earl Jones lost the Oscar for his performance in The Great White Hope. He didn't jump off a bridge.]]

** In the episode’s B-Plot, when Julius reveals to Rochelle the reason for having a credit card... and the reason (buying Rochelle's ring) promptly does something that Julius has never been able to do during their time together: Shut her up.

* Julius [[TranquilFury calmly]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwEjta0EEQw making sure local hood Malvo doesn't bother his son ever again.]]

-->'''Narrator:''' ''For the first time in 15 years, my father got my mother to shut up.''

* In "Everybody Hates Chain Snatching", when Julius reveals to Rochelle the reason for having a credit card... and the reason (buying Rochelle's ring) promptly does something that Julius has never been able to do during their time together: Shut her up.
-->'''Narrator:''' ''For the first time in 15 years, my father got my mother to shut up.''

--> '''Malvo:''' "So I'm supposed to be afraid cause you brought your daddy out here?"
--> '''Julius:''' "No, you supposed to be scared cause if you ever put your hands on my son again, you ain't going to jail (raises baseball bat), [[PapaWolf I'M going to jail.]]"

--> '''Chris Rock''': ''(narrating)'': "Better him than me. It feels good to be right for a change".

* In "Everybody Hates The Substitute", Tonya tries to lie and claim Drew hit her in order to get the remote, only for Rochelle to catch her red-handed, and pull her out of the room, claiming they need to "[[ToughLove talk]]". Showing that while Rochelle may adhere to the double standard about men hitting women, she ''won't'' stand for Tanya lying about it. The icing on the cake is Drew watching the television with a very smug grin.
-->'''Narrator''': Boys can't hit girls, but girls can still hit girls.

--> '''Maxine:''' Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
--> '''Chris:''' [[SuddenlyShouting Well, can't you leave her alone?!]] It's iced tea! ''(Everyone at the table is looking at Chris at this point.)'' If you're thirsty, you drink it! If you're not, ''don't''! ''(Maxine is looking utterly dumbfounded.)''
--> '''Narrator''': ''I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.''

* When Julius reveals to Rochelle the reason for having a credit card... and the reason (buying Rochelle's ring) promptly does something that Julius has never been able to do during their time together: Shut her up.

* In "Everybody Hates The Substitute", Tanya tries lie and claim Drew hit her in order to get the remote, only for Rochelle to catch her red-handed, and claim they need to "[[ToughLove talk]]". Showing that while Rochelle may adhere to the double standard about men hitting women, she ''won't'' stand for Tanya lying about it. The icing on the cake is Drew watching the television with a very smug grin.

* In "Everybody Hates Elections" when running for class president, Chris is having no luck coming up with a speech, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBlJn99Hrbw so he ends up improvising one completely on the spot and manages to win the election ]].

* Julius [[TranquilFury calmly]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwEjta0EEQw making local hood Malvo doesn't bother his son ever again.]]