Video Game / The Brief and Meaningless Adventure of Hero Man

The Brief and Meaningless Adventure of Hero Man is a 2014 RPG Maker VX Ace game developed by Torch 60. It was remade in 2022 as an RPG Maker MZ game and renamed The Very Brief and Meaningless Adventure of Hero Man.

In this parody of a bare-bones RPG, Hero Man is tasked with defeating Demon Lord Doldrum in order to save the world of Somewhere from destruction. However, the game has 12 endings in the original and 18 in the remake, depending on what decisions Hero Man makes in his quest. Every time he reaches an ending, he has the option to start another run, but some characters remember past loops. Unfortunately, any deviation from the first and most generic ending tends to result in tragedy or disappointment for Hero Man, so will he find it worthwhile to obtain every ending?

The original game can be downloaded from RPGMaker.net. The remake can be downloaded from RPGMaker.net or itch, the latter of which can be played in-browser.

This game contains examples of:

• Accidental Hero: The Prince of Somewhere is described as incompetent and in the Tower, he's such a klutz that he's in more danger of falling down and injuring himself than from the monster encounters. However, his pathetic existence somehow convinces Lord Doldrum to kill himself in ending 8, resulting in Somewhere being saved.
• Always Accurate Attack: Magic always hits, but is therefore limited by Mana and its Non-Damaging Status Infliction Attack-s have a chance of failure.
• Anti-Hero: While this isn't apparent on most routes, Hero Man has a tendency to become arrogant and self-important if he manages to accomplish something amazing, such as beating the game at a low level, beating the game by himself, or making a fortune off the Diamond Oozie. The game description implies that this is because Hero Man is a Glory Seeker rather than a true altruist, by mentioning "glory" at all: "Whether he can actually save the world and bring home the glory is another question entirely."
• Attack! Attack! Attack!: The Soldier Marionette calls himself being "basically a walking Attack command", due to his only damage contribution being from physical attacks. He has no Mana Points, and therefore can't do anything beyond Attack, Item use and Guarding himself.
• Area of Effect: Most Status Infliction Attack spells target the whole enemy party when used, with the player-usable ones saying "on all enemies" in their descriptions, except for Sleep, which is "on one enemy".
• Autosave: The game autosaves into a dedicated slot whenever the party enters a new area.
• Being Evil Sucks: As a dark mirror to how Hero Man feels underwhelmed by many of the endings, Lord Doldrum is depressed over his own lonely existence as a Demon Lord and admits that he requires therapy. It's implied that he can only find meaning in his life by fighting a strong hero in a deathmatch, since he kills himself when the weak Prince of Somewhere shows up first.
• Blob Monster: The Oozie types of enemies, which look like and apparently named as blobs of ooze.
• Butt-Monkey: The majority of endings don't end well for Hero Man, since he will be punished if he diverges from the generic ending too much. Ending 12 goes as far as to have him slip and fall into a moat, leading to him drowning to death.
• Cap: There's probably a level cap, but the only cap that a player can reasonably reach is the item stack limit of 99.
• Contractual Boss Immunity: Lord Doldrum seems to be immune to all statuses, and since all of the party's are Non-Damaging Status Infliction Attack-s, they only serve to waste turns.
• Critical Hit: Appears to be approximately a doubling in damage, taking into account some variation due to damage ranges. The chances are determined by the LUK (Luck) stat, and is marked by the damage numbers flashing red and white instead of the regular white.
• Crutch Character: The marionette party members start with the expected stat spreads for their job class and exist to help Hero Man survive the early mobs. Soldier marionette in particular starts out a bit physically stronger than Hero Man despite equipping the same tier of equipment. However, while the marionettes can level up, they cannot change any of their equipment except for rings, meaning Hero Man will eventually outclass them.
• Damage Over Time: The Poison status effect seems to deal 1/4 of Max Health a turn, but it can't kill by itself.
• Dungeon Shop: The Storage Wizard who's at the Crossroads and right before Lord Doldrum's throne room, somehow at those dangerous locations. As he says:
  today's your lucky day! I just HAPPENED to be passing by this remote location to make sure you're all geared to go!
• Encounter Bait: The Bullhorn item, obtained by beating Lord Doldrum twice, in battle. It can be used to force a random encounter in any map where they can occur.
• Encounter Repellant: The Alarm Ring, obtained by beating Lord Doldrum once, in battle. When worn, it turns off all encounters when equipped.
• Fixed Damage Attack: Even though the Cure line of spells says they deal fixed numbers of healing, they actually have some slight variation between casts.
• Flavor Text: For all equipment and Key Items, even the Marionette ones that the Hero can't use:
  • Mace: "Wouldn't want to be around someone with one of these."
• Harmless Enemy: The Medic Oozies only can heal other enemies or themselves, or cast the Non-Damaging Status Infliction Attack, Surround, to Blind the player party. Meaning the possible enemy group that contains only two of them in the Cave, has no way of damaging the player party. Even if they run out of Mana, that just means they skip their turn, instead of physically attacking.
• Healer Signs On Early: Hero Man starts off being able to heal himself, but there's the dedicated Cleric Marionette in town, which is a White Mage, and as they say:
  I'm good at healing and not much else.
• Healing Hands: Hero Man and the Cleric marionette start with the basic Cure skill, represented by a Heart Symbol, that:
  Restores about 40 HP to one ally.
• Healing Loop: One that eventually ends. At low enough levels and if there's only manaless mages left, the Player Party can't hit Medic Oozies hard enough and/or consistently enough to stop them from surviving 40-ish turns by healing themselvesband impairing the accuracy of the party. The loop ends at that point because then their own mana runs out and they're a Harmless Enemy by themselves.
• Hearts Are Health:
  • Heart Symbols are the icon of the Cure line of spells.
  • The Cleric wears a headband with a red Heart Symbol, and they're the party member that's basically just to heal the rest of the party.
• Heroes Prefer Swords: Hero Man wields a sword in the art and weapons are represented by a sword icon. However, his Starter Equipment is a Wooden Pole, though all of his weapon upgrades afterwards are swords.
• Hint System:
  • After the player logs six endings in their save file, an NPC will show up in the castle to provide hints for getting the remaining endings.
  • The Strange Minion in Lord Doldrum's Castle gives hints on the special conditions for certain endings:
    • The one before the Throne Room talks about how to get the High Level ending, but unlike Hint Guy, that's more of a warning on how many levels to avoid gaining before the ending's locked in, for those who are trying for the other endings that need to defeat Lord Doldrum.
    • The Strange Minion in the second half of the first room of the castle hints on how to tame a Diamond Oozie for the ending for selling it.
• Lampshade Hanging: The Marionettes' dialogue lampshades their combat design and lack of versatility compared to Hero Man:
  • Soldier: As he's a Magically Inept Fighter, and can only damage enemies by physical attacks:
    I'm basically a walking Attack command. This was acceptable game design once upon a time.
  • Mage: About being a Squishy Wizard:
    I can deal magic damage, but I'm very fragile.
    I might keep the healer busier than they bargained for.
  • Cleric: About being the White Mage:
    I'm good at healing and not much else.
    Which really brings into question the viability of healer characters in a lot of games.
• Lightning Bruiser: Hero Man is the fastest party member and with good equipment, he can surpass his allies in all stats.
• Made O' Gold: The ending from selling a Diamond Oozie shows Hero Man with "the greatest solid gold mansion that money could buy.".
• Magically Inept Fighter: The Soldier marionette has no magic or MP growth, but it has high physical attack, defense, and HP.
• Mana: Enemies have internal mana counters, but a Medic Oozie will take approximately 40 turns to run out.
• Master of All: Hero Man will learn all the spells that the Mage and Cleric marionettes learn at the same levels. This, along with his high stats, allows him to fulfill any role in battle.
• Metal Slime: The Diamond Oozie is a rare enemy that is impervious to all forms of damage and will run away, but it can be tamed with a Marble and sold for money.
• Mighty Glacier: The Soldier marionette is slow, but hits hard physically and has high defense.
• Mook Medic: The Medic Oozies, as expected from their name. They're White Mages that can only heal the other mooks and cast Surround, a Non-Damaging Status Infliction Attack for Blind-ness. One random encounter in the Cave is just two of them, which means it's impossible for the player party to get hurt from it.
• Multiple Endings: The original game has 12 endings and the remake has 18.
  • "Ending 1: Playing It By the Book" requires the player to defeat Lord Doldrum without triggering any other ending condition. The people of Somewhere simply celebrate Doldrum's defeat in the most generic way possible.
  • "Ending 2: A Complete Waste of My Time" requires the player to leave the Somewhere throne room without talking to the queen. Hero man decides that the quest to defeat Doldrum isn't worth his time.
  • "Ending 3: The Impractical Treasure Hunter" requires the player to jump down the well. The well is bottomless, so Hero Man is doomed to fall forever.
  • "Ending 4: Self-Imposed Challenges" requires the player to have bought the expensive Fire Blade from the first weapon shop. It's called the Flame Sword in the Ending List, and this triggers even if the blade is immediately resold after purchase. The narrator mocks the player for spending so much time grinding for an overpowered weapon at the start of the game and forces them to use a portal to Doldrum's castle, because both of the town's exits are blocked. Doldrum himself is instantly killed in the cutscene, but instead of by Hero Man, he "magically killed himself off".
  • "Ending 5: Key Hoarder" requires the player to buy the first key from the thief, go into the Sign Maker's basement, and buy the second key. This causes Hero Man to be incriminated as a thief after he defeats Doldrum, who somehow also knows of the purchases, and he's tossed in prison after the Queen somehow spots the second, apparently spare, key.
  • "Ending 6: Hero and Detective" requires the player to buy the first key from the thief, go into the Sign Maker's basement, and refuse to buy the second key. The thief ends up being caught for stealing the Sign Maker's keys.
  • "Ending 7: My Own Hero" requires the player to steal the prince's key and go into the Tower without him. Hero Man regrets pushing people away and resolves to be a better friend to others in his next journey, but the warp at the top of the Tower traps him on an isolated island since the Prince wasn't there to retarget the portal.
  • "Ending 8: Hero Man the Worthless" requires the player to agree to work with the prince and to clear the Tower. The prince gets to Lord Doldrum first, who kills himself because he can't stand how pathetic the prince is. The prince ends up taking all the credit for saving the world while Hero Man is seen as useless.
  • "Ending 9: I'm Not a Babysitter" requires the player to agree to work for the prince, but then go to a non-Tower dungeon without him. This results in the prince dying of his wounds in the Crossroads, and the queendom arrests Hero Man for killing the prince.
  • "Ending 10: Inn-Security" requires the player to stay at the inn five times. After the fifth stay, Lord Doldrum destroys Somewhere due to Hero Man taking too long to defeat him.
  • "Ending 11: Ultimate Power" requires the player to beat Doldrum at level 12 or higher. Hero Man goes mad with his unmatched power and becomes Demon Lord Man.
  • "Ending 12: One Man Army" requires the player to beat Doldrum with only Hero Man. Hero Man becomes arrogant from his solo victory and walks out of the castle because he feels that he's superior to everyone in Somewhere, only for him to fall into the moat and drown.
  • "Ending 13: Never Go the Extra Mile" requires the player to beat Doldrum at level 3 or lower. Although Hero Man thinks this low level run is worthy of recognition, he is disillusioned that no one cares about this feat beyond the Demon Lord being slain.
  • "Ending 14: A Disappointing Sequence Break" requires the player to obtain the Legend Sword without getting the hint from the Sign Maker then defeat Lord Doldrum. Lord Doldrum somehow survives, and then somehow traps the party in Lord Doldrum's throne room forever.
  • "Ending 15: No Need for a Savior" requires the player to capture and sell a Diamond Oozie. Hero Man decides that he's rich enough to retire and ditches the quest, but Lord Doldrum destroys the world anyways.
  • "Ending 16: Underqualified Hero" requires the player to lose to Lord Doldrum, who is pleasantly surprised that he won despite being considered an easy boss in-universe.
  • "Ending 17: Condescending Narrative" requires the player to refuse to start a new loop, causing the game to send Hero Man to a small room while trying to guilt trip the player into picking up the game again.
  • "Final Ending: Freedom" requires the player to see all other endings and enter the big door in the Crossroads. Hero Man ends up finding an empty room and is initially disappointed, but realizes that all his brief and meaningless adventures may have happened for a greater purpose, causing a path to spawn. He walks on a bridge through the sky and thinks about how much he can appreciate the world outside of the RPG quest.
• Non-Damaging Status Infliction Attack: The only damaging Status Infliction Attack the player is guaranteed to see, is Lord Doldrum's Fatigue, which hits the whole party for less than 20 damage and inflicts ATK and DEF Down. Nearly everyone else, from the Cleric and Mage Marionettes, to the Wizzzard enemies, seem to have this trope.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: Lord Doldrum can be beaten at Level 3 at most, and the NPC outside his room states that he's not that strong for a Demon Lord. His depression is also played for Black Comedy and he seems rather unmotivated as a villain. Despite that, he's capable of destroying the world of Somewhere in endings 10 and 15.
• Omega Ending: The 18th ending requires the player to have logged the 17 other endings on their save file first. Since Hero Man remembers all the previous endings, getting the 18th ending causes him to realize that even if each individual ending seemed meaningless, they still led him to this point in his life and can help him appreciate the rest of the world.
• Orcus on His Throne: Downplayed. Lord Doldrum is content to sit on his throne for the most part, but will destroy the world if Hero Man stays at the inn too much or retires from adventuring.
• Point of No Return: The cave, the Sign Maker's basement, and the Tower all lock the player in upon entering. Once the player reaches the teleporter to the Crossroads, they can no longer return to any of the starting dungeon. Once they grab the final "hero" equipment from Lord Doldrum's castle, they are locked into the very last few maps of the game. Only the Sign Maker's basement provides a warning message:
  With the door open, Hero Man suspects he might not be able to come back here if he goes much further. [pause for button press] It's now or never!
• Random Drop:
  • Antidotes randomly drop from some enemies.
  • Lifeforce Seeds drop from Burrs and Screamons.
  • Oozies may drop Heal Seeds.
  • Vox Potions drop from Husher Wasps.
• Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory: The game uses a New Game Plus feature, and as long as the player keeps their ending progress, certain characters will remember events from the past loops.
  • Lord Doldrum keeps track of how many times Hero Man defeated him.
  • The Stats Wizard keeps track of all endings Hero Man has already seen.
  • The Hints Man, or Hint Guy, will give hints to obtain other endings until there are none left to see, and he's also aware of which endings have already been obtained.
  • According to the narrator, Hero Man himself is aware of how the door in the Crossroads slowly changes appearance as he completes endings:
    Hero Man inspected the door.
    It was, indeed, the same mysterious shape-shifting door that he had come to know and love.
• Save Scumming: The Castle Banker mentions how games have Death Is a Slap on the Wrist or Continuing is Painful, depending how much of a penalty losing money is, and players could avoid that by reloading instead of going for the in-game continue. So this game bypasses all that and losing a battle, except the final battle, just leads to a Game Over screen, then back to the Start Screen to reload a save, and therefore advises the player to save often!
• Something Person: Hero Man is the hero of the game, but if he obtains ending 11 by reaching level 12 or higher, he renames himself Demon Lord Man.
• Squishy Wizard: The Mage marionette has low HP and defense, but high resistance and intelligence, the latter of which determines its magic damage.
• Status Infliction Attack: Not many, but more than one:
  • Husher Wasps' basic attack have a chance to also deal Silence.
  • Lord Doldrum's Fatigue, which hits the whole party for less than 20 damage and is guaranteed to inflict ATK and DEF Down.
• Take Your Time: Downplayed. While in-game time doesn't affect anything, staying at the inn five times will result in Lord Doldrum nuking Somewhere.
• Underground Monkey: The various Oozie types, with different equipment to match:
  1. Oozie: No equipment. Purple.
  2. Medic Oozie: White headband with red Heart Symbol.
  3. Diamond Oozie: Teal, Green crown with red gem, and red cape.
  4. Knight Oozie: Orange, wearing a Barbute.
• Vague Hit Points: In the remake, both the enemy and player parties don't get a clear indication of how much their maximum Hit Points are, just having ungradated {{Health Meter}s, but in the original version, Hero Man gets his Hit Points shown as in "Current / Max" style.
• Video Game Cruelty Punishment:
  • Played with when it comes to the Sign Maker's key. The player can buy it from the thief and return it to the Sign Maker to get a hint about the Legend Sword. If the player buys the key and uses it to enter the basement, they are given one more choice where they can either buy the spare key or refuse. Buying it results in Hero Man getting arrested while refusing results in the thief getting arrested. In the latter case, Hero Man is a Karma Houdini for using and breaking the first key without the Sign Maker's permission.
  • Getting the Legend Sword without helping the Sign Maker first means the player knows the Sign Maker is missing his key, but refused to help him despite having prior knowledge. This results in the party being trapped in Lord Doldrum's throne room somehow.
  • Any ending where Hero Man betrays the prince ends poorly. If he steals the prince's key and goes into the Tower, he'll end up trapped on an isolated island. If he gets the prince to go to the Tower, but breaks his promise to accompany the prince, Hero Man will be blamed for the prince's death.
• White Mage:
  • The Cleric marionette can only cast healing and some debuff spells.
  • Medic Oozies' only actions are to cast Cure, which heals, and Surround, which blinds. They cannot directly damage the player party.
• With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: If Hero Man beats Lord Doldrum at level 12 or higher, he'll become obsessed with power and violence, to the point where he becomes the next Demon Lord.