Markup View

Author: Dacilriel

Sep 11th 2012 at 3:47:51 PM

Like foxley and Star Valkyrie said, the repeated use of the term "political correctness" doesn't work. You seem to be equating torture with things like whether it's proper to say "Black" or "African-American."

Also, the repeated use of the word "aesop" is questionable. That only applies if the story is intending to give a moral. Do you want the trope to be about the morality of torture, or do you want it to be about failed torture and the reasons it fails? If you want it to be about morality, then referring to it as an aesop works, but you need to rewrite a good portion of the description to explain the moral standpoint against torture. If you want it to be about failed torture, then remove the aesop reference altogether.

"And politically correct Hollywood is going to make damn sure we know that, by repeating it over...and over...and over."

This just sounds like complaining because you disagree with a popular viewpoint.

"To back up the writer's viewpoint..."

Just explain that the torture doesn't work either because the victim is too tough to give in or because the interrogator is incompetent. The introductory sentence reinforces that you disagree with the writer.

"Because people who use torture/enhanced interrogation just love randomly snatching average joes off the street upon whom they can get their Jack Bauer on, before even attempting any other form of interrogation."

The only characters I can think of who snatch up random people for torture are villains who just want to hurt somebody. It makes no sense for purposes of interrogation. If you're going to include this, make sure you have examples of legitimate interrogators snatching people up and going straight to torture before asking questions.

"...meant to enlighten the great unwashed masses"

This sounds like you're being sarcastic and you feel the writer is being preachy.

Try to read over what you've written and think about how it looks to other people. Imagine that someone else wrote it, and you're reading it for the first time.