Reviews: Crash Bandicoot

By the numbers, derivative garbage.

So, Crash is back and boy oh boy...who cares? For those of you who don't know, Crash Bandicoot basically ended up being Sony's answer to Mario and Sonic, for all that was worth. But there was a problem. What was that problem? Well there is the fact that there is barely an original idea to be found.

Crash collects Whumpa Fruit. Why? Well because Mario collects coins and Sonic collects rings.

Crash searches for Gems. Why? Well because Sonic had the Chaos emeralds.

In Crash 1, Crash was trying to rescue his Girlfriend (Mario) from a mad scientist (Sonic)

Crash himself is a pure stock character. He's good, he's really dumb, and he's "Agile" At first tell, Crash was reported to be Insane, but I suppose that's a little hard to render in a kid friendly they just went with Stupid.

About the only thing Crash has that was all to himself was the decision to focus on collecting crap. Things like the aforementioned Gems. What are these Gems? I dunno. Are they powerful? I...guess? They don't do anything other than make platforms. There is no "Super" Crash to the best of my knowledge.

Well how do you get them? Well you smash all the crates in a level. Why crates? And what is their connection to magical gems? No fucking clue.

Crash Bandicoot was technically functional...just like the dozens and dozens of other mascot platformers in the wake of Sonic's success against Mario, and just like them, he as empty and by the numbers as he could be. When you're just trying to go through the level, I suppose he isn't bad, again, boring and derivative, but not bad. But then comes the gimmick. Find crates, smash crates. Smash all the crates without dying, find the hidden bonus room with hidden crates to smash so you can get the "box gem."

It's garbage. Pure, Derivative garbage.

An Absolutely Wonderful Series that needs more Recognition

Since Crash Bandicoot's 20th anniversary is upon us (Sept. 9, 2016), and the announcement that Crash will be getting a reboot, I think it's time to give this series the review it deserves.

I love it. 9/10.

It's really that simple. Crash Bandicoot is the series that got me into video games to begin with. I started playing Crash Team Racing when I was 12, and that was that. I played all the console games, up to and including Mind Over Mutant, and a bunch of the GBA games. And I cannot tell you how many hours I've poured into each one.

The series has had its low points, of course. Wrath of Cortex is abysmally bad, to the point that simply getting all the crystals is a chore. Titans and Mind Over Mutant are okay but heavily flawed. Really, any game post-ND will pale in comparison to the original four — Crash Twinsanity tried to live up to Naughty Dog, and came pretty close, but was ever so slightly held back thanks to being overly buggy and too short.

Yet, in spite of its flaws, this series is worth playing. At the very least, you should try the Naughty Dog games, especially since they'll be re-released in 2017. If you can hunt down a copy of CTR or Crash Bash, you can have a great time with friends, thanks to the multiplayer. Even Nitro Kart or Crash Tag Team Racing are worth a go.

Crash Bandicoot is a series very near and dear to my heart. It introduced me to video games, and for that I will always love it. The past six years — a period I have dubbed The Dark Times — are a time I will always look back upon as a Crashless time. And I can't tell you how happy I am that such a time is over.