Reviews: The Room
Mind-Blowing For the Wrong Reasons
This movie is bad. I'll say it right now. This movie is so bad, I almost can't describe how much it melted my brain for a few hours so that I nearly lost the ability to speak English, write, or do anything productive. It had destroyed my brain so much because of just how awful it was. There are so many pointless scenes in this movie. There was all of the sex scenes that only seemed to be there for padding and just kept repeating the same action over and over again (and re-using one of the scenes but rearranging the clips so that it looks different!), the infamous tuxedo and football scene, and then of course, just all of these plotlines that you think are going to lead to somewhere but never do. I think Lisa's mother's breast cancer was the best example of this. It's brought up a lot, but it doesn't impact the story at all. It's just there to serve as pointless filler for Lisa and her mom to talk about during their numerous, also pointless talks. The dialogue was awful. There were only two characters I can think of that were decent actors (Lisa's mom and the drug dealer) and everybody else couldn't emote like a normal being. Or talk like one for that matter. Topics can stray very easily, like during one scene where Johnny and Mark are talking about work, and after Johnny says he can't talk about his client due to confidentiality, he abruptly switches to asking Mark how his sex life is. Yeah... no it doesn't work that way. And then the scenery switches were awful. It'd switch to random shots of San Francisco all the time, even when it didn't need to. It was like the movie had some kind of fetish with that city, and it was worse because there was also tons of really obvious green screen. But despite how bad the movie was and how much it destroyed my brain, I couldn't help but be fascinated by it. It's bad. Real bad. And yet, it's a type of bad that I can't help but feel fascinated by. It's just so bad that I can't help but wonder how something so awful could possibly exist.
A Modern Camp Classic
Tommy Wiseau's The Room is an odd masterpiece in that, it is not a masterpiece because it is amazing, but because it is amazingly awful, almost fantastic in its failed attempts to be heartwarming and dramatic. The "plot" (for lack of a better term) involves our main character Johnny and his girlfriend/"future-wife" Lisa. Lisa cheats on Johnny with her secret lover Mark. After that, it becomes a clusterfuck. You won't be able to figure out what anyone's doing, or understand the inane dialogue, nor will you really want to. What you WILL do is laugh. Wiseau's hammied performance as himse- er, I mean Johnny, is like every stereotype of the over-romantic European come to life. Mark is so bland and boring it's hilarious, and Danny is a creepy bastard. (If you can get that reference, have some Scotchka.) All in all, a ridiculously funny, melodramatic yack fest that left me craving more. Overall score: 11/10.
Epic Narm Charm
I've seen The Room three times already. The third time, I watched it with my dad, who kept remarking, multiple times during the film, "it's so bad," as if he just couldn't believe it. But what we were both cracking up at later on was the quotes from the film we were reading online afterward, and the memories they brought back. While watching The Room, some of the dumb dialog just skips right by and sounds natural in context. But when you actually read what's being said, that's when it hits you hard just how dumb it really is. There's tons of these little things. Denny is asked what he's buying drugs and he says, "I don't know, to make money!" Wait, you make money by buying drugs? Wow, sounds like a great get-rich-quick scheme. Why doesn't everyone do it then? So much dumb-in-hindsight dialog comes and goes that a lot of it only really becomes funny after you read it or watch it again. Tommy's acting makes all his lines pure Narm. I actually felt his crying was believable, but everything else just doesn't work. "In a few minutes, bitch!" actually made the actors crack up, and I can see why. In fact, any anger coming from Johnny just doesn't really come off as convincing. His dropping of the F-bomb in an argument with his friend just doesn't work. Johnny seriously steals every scene he's in. When terrible acting comes from the main character, no matter what type of movie you're trying to make or how good the other actors are, you're going to get a comedy. One thing I noticed though is that some of the actors aren't bad. I particularly liked the actress who played Lisa's elderly mother. Her acting came across to me as natural and well carried-out. It's not her fault that the words that actually come out of her mouth are so corny. My dad even had a favorite character whose acting and dialog he said never struck him as unnatural. I think it was Denny. A coworker liked Claudette. The whole movie is just ridiculous. Narmy dialog delivered by actors both good (Claudette) and terrible (Johnny), a plot that can be summed up in one sentence ("A Mary Sue has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with his best friend"), and those infamous "love scenes" that go on forever (Yes, Lisa's very cute, but do we need to see both her and Johnny like that?). It has to be seen to be appreciated.
A Hilarious Train Wreck Of A Film
The Room is a film famous for being hilariously awful and after watching it, I can say that it's reputation is very much deserved. In what other film can you see men playing football in tuxedos, breast cancer being brought up in casual conversation, and college students asking to join two other people in sex? The film has such a poor understanding of how regular human beings act that the characters come off as space aliens trying desperately to pass themselves off as humans. Combine that with the terrible acting and you have a truly surreal experience.