Reviews: The Purge

The Purge Would Never Be Allowed To Happen

(Warning: I use quite a bit of harsh language in this review. If you're easily offended, do all concerned a favor and read no further. thank you.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I think our leaders are too compassionate and/or wise; frankly, I consider the heads of state of pretty much every country on this ball of mud to be shitheads. I'm saying even they aren't THAT stupid.

  • First off, the rule about emergency services being suspended for 12 hours. A lot of shit could go down in that period of time, and the next day would consist largely of putting out fires from the previous night; and that's not just a figure of speech, I mean LITERAL fires. There are some crazy motherfuckers out there who get off on setting things ablaze and watching them burn; and they're dangerous enough as is, letting them go unchecked for a whole night would be a recipe for disaster. Sure, any buildings that have state of the art fire suppression systems might be alright the next morning, but odds are a lot of people's houses/apartment buildings aren't so fortunate. Lots of people could be left homeless by fires (always assuming they're not killed in said fires), and if the insurance companies are true to form, they're all shit out of luck.

  • Second, the assumption that the criminally-minded of society are going to be good little boys and girls the rest of the year just because you let them have an annual "Murder Christmas" is fucking idiotic; that's not how criminal psychology works. Such people, to start with, aren't usually the sharpest tools in the shed; and they very often have serious impulse control issues. Crime rates would not go down; quite the contrary, they would skyrocket during Purge night.

  • Third, you can't have a 12 hour orgy of looting, rape, and murder and just expect everything to go back to normal the next morning with no hard feelings. Human beings by nature have a vengeful streak in them; one that won't necessarily wait for the next "Murder Christmas" to sate itself.

So no, there will be no Purge anytime soon, the predictions of a shitty home invasion thriller not withstanding.

This. Film. Blows.

1. Oh gee. The bad people are preppy spoiled teens looking to "release the beast". They chew the scenery.

2. Oh DOUBLE gee! Their victim is a BLACK GUY! Who's poor! And a WAR VETERAN! SYMBOLISMMMMM!!!

3. So their idea of "solving" Unemployment is "kill the unemployed". ECONOMICS DON'T WORK THAT WAY.

4. Career criminals aren't gonna sit on their behinds and twiddle their thumbs, waiting for the ONE night they can let loose. Nor would terrorists.

5. Suppose somebody sets a fire. Or a bomb that spreads a disease. 12 hours, nobody can do jack squat. The Fire Department and the Police can't and won't do anything!

6. This is all so unconstitutional. The whole point of crime is that it is NOT LEGAL. You cannot set aside a night to commit it. Besides, I've seen this kind of story before...from the POWERPUFF GIRLS. Which did it BETTER.

7. People who are poor severely outnumber those who are rich enough to afford good home protection. As we see in the movie even the man who MAKES home protection systems couldn't keep college prep kids with guns and bats out. And he DESIGNED the damn systems. What would stop mobs of poor people pissed off at rich elites for engaging in Social Darwinism from giving them a taste of their own medicine?

8. Supposedly nobody can attack very high-ranking politicians or use high level weapons. Why would anybody actually stick to this limitation? The rules don't matter?

9. According to the web site FOR the Purge, which explains the backstory movie further, purge-related tourism is catching on, along with several public utilities essentially running on the bodies of the Purged. This behavior would get the United States freakin' NUKED. Nobody tourists would ever VISIT America anymore!

10. Studies show "cathartic release" of aggression doesn't REDUCE aggression. It ENHANCES it. You fail at science, movie!

11. What about FINANCIAL CRIMES? Whole chunks of the economy of the USA could collapse if there was enough time devoted the Purge to stealing money from bank accounts. If Bane from Dark Knight Rises could hack the stock market in less than an hour, I'm sure that somebody could do something similar in this "twenty minutes into the future" tale.

In other words...don't waste your time with this weak-ass, wasted potential home invasion thriller.