Oh boy, this one. I won’t lie, this is a review I have not been looking forward to. I hate this movie. Hate, hate, hate it. It is the most painful of all the Bond films to sit through. The action is mostly tepid and the only good stunt is ruined by the addition of a slide whistle over it. The plot is overcomplicated by an unneeded MacGuffin. The sleaziness and crassness of Diamonds Are Forever returns with a vengeance. The main Bond Girl is a bigger idiot than all Three Stooges combined. The secondary one is abused by Bond and later is cruelly and unceremoniously killed. There’s a sequence where Bond wakes up in a martial arts school solely because the producers wanted to ride the wave of Enter the Dragon. There are plot holes so obvious and massive that you could drive a truck through them. And last but not least, we get the nonsensical return of the most obnoxious character in the entire Bond franchise, Sheriff JW Pepper.
So with all of that, is there anything positive to say about this movie? Well, actually yes. The main villain, Scaramanga, is played wonderfully by Sir Cristopher Lee. Not only is he one of the major highlights of the film, he’s one of the best Bond Villains in general. He’s scheming, intimidating, intelligent, and darkly charismatic. One gets the sense that Lee could have made a great Bond if he and the producers had ever had the desire. Herve Villechaiz is also delightful as henchman Nick Nack. His work on Fantasy Island clearly helped him with the comedy of this role.
And of course, there’s Roger Moore. It’s my humble opinion that Moore was a consistently solid performer across his whole tenure. Admittedly, one of the few exceptions to this is the scene where Bond abuses Maud Addams' character, Andrea Anders. His discomfort is clearly visible, but it’s hard to fault him for that because it’s an uncomfortable and needlessly cruel scene. Through the rest of the movie though, he’s in fine form. He’s witty and charming when he needs to be, but believably contemptuous of Scaramanga when the two finally share more than five minutes with each other.
It’s a shame that these performances unfortunately can’t make up for the rest of the movie being so awful, because they are genuinely deserving of praise. But there is no saving this movie. It’s the most embarrassing entry in the franchise, and considering there’s a movie where Bond goes to space that says a lot.
Film Not Even a Golden Turd
Oh boy, this one. I won’t lie, this is a review I have not been looking forward to. I hate this movie. Hate, hate, hate it. It is the most painful of all the Bond films to sit through. The action is mostly tepid and the only good stunt is ruined by the addition of a slide whistle over it. The plot is overcomplicated by an unneeded MacGuffin. The sleaziness and crassness of Diamonds Are Forever returns with a vengeance. The main Bond Girl is a bigger idiot than all Three Stooges combined. The secondary one is abused by Bond and later is cruelly and unceremoniously killed. There’s a sequence where Bond wakes up in a martial arts school solely because the producers wanted to ride the wave of Enter the Dragon. There are plot holes so obvious and massive that you could drive a truck through them. And last but not least, we get the nonsensical return of the most obnoxious character in the entire Bond franchise, Sheriff JW Pepper.
So with all of that, is there anything positive to say about this movie? Well, actually yes. The main villain, Scaramanga, is played wonderfully by Sir Cristopher Lee. Not only is he one of the major highlights of the film, he’s one of the best Bond Villains in general. He’s scheming, intimidating, intelligent, and darkly charismatic. One gets the sense that Lee could have made a great Bond if he and the producers had ever had the desire. Herve Villechaiz is also delightful as henchman Nick Nack. His work on Fantasy Island clearly helped him with the comedy of this role.
And of course, there’s Roger Moore. It’s my humble opinion that Moore was a consistently solid performer across his whole tenure. Admittedly, one of the few exceptions to this is the scene where Bond abuses Maud Addams' character, Andrea Anders. His discomfort is clearly visible, but it’s hard to fault him for that because it’s an uncomfortable and needlessly cruel scene. Through the rest of the movie though, he’s in fine form. He’s witty and charming when he needs to be, but believably contemptuous of Scaramanga when the two finally share more than five minutes with each other.
It’s a shame that these performances unfortunately can’t make up for the rest of the movie being so awful, because they are genuinely deserving of praise. But there is no saving this movie. It’s the most embarrassing entry in the franchise, and considering there’s a movie where Bond goes to space that says a lot.