Reviews: Notting Hill

Everything I learned from Notting Hill

Sometimes you just feel like a good romantic comedy. Something sweet and funny, with loveable characters, an intelligent storyline, and witty dialogue.

And sometimes you end up watching Notting Hill instead. This movie isnít sweet, funny, or intelligent, but it is educational. Some things I learned from it:

  1. If you accidentally meet a celebrity, you should act really awkward around her. Make it clear that you recognise her and pester her with useless advice. Then invite her home on a flimsy pretext and ply her with offers of unwanted refreshments. This is guaranteed to get you kissed within half an hour. Especially if you look like Hugh Grant.
  2. If you have a boyfriend, and you meet another boy while travelling, donít tell the second boy about the first one. Let him assume youíre single, even when you invite him back to your apartment. Heíll probably find out the truth sooner or later, but all you have to do is smile at him and bat your eyes and heís sure to forgive you. Especially if you look like Julia Roberts.
  3. If youíre a guy who wants to get laid, go out and find the most uncouth, slovenly, anti-social man you can, and invite him to be your roommate. His complete lack of charm is sure to make you look like a Nice Guy by comparison. Combine that with the fact that you look like Hugh Grant, and no woman will be able to resist you. Not that you care about that, because youíre such a Nice Guy. Right?
  4. If something upsetting happens to you, feel free to take your anger out on your brand new boyfriend. Yell at him; make unfounded accusations; treat him like dirt. As long as you look like Julia Roberts, it wonít impair his desire to be with you one iota.
  5. There is such a thing as True Love. Itís what happens when someone who looks like Hugh Grant meets someone who looks like Julia Roberts!

Now for pity's sake somebody put on a copy of Holiday before I decide to kill myself!