Reviews: Freddy Got Fingered

It\'s Like the Nostalgia Critic had an Abortion

I'm not quite sure who allows these kinds of movies to get greenlit, but they definitely take money for granted.

Who in their right mind would find the humour in watching a baby get ripped out of a woman's womb and swung around by its umbilical cord? A few scenes earlier we had Not-Freddy (why would you name the movie after a minor character?) wearing the skin of a dead animal. I challenge anyone to find a similar scene from a film where that was played for laughs.

Then there's this massive Headscratcher relating to the film's title: Why would a therapist believe the ramblings of a deranged manchild over his saner brother whom he claimed was molested by their dad?

If movies like this can get made, then I can only cheer on film pirates for keeping the studios from making big bucks and allowing another film like this to just slip through the gate.

This Film Should Have Been Aborted!

I read about this film on the Crosses the Line Twice page. I thought "It can't be that bad". So when it came on late last night, I decided to watch it...

...And needless to say, I deeply regret that choice. To say this film was horrible would be a massive understatement. It was an hour and 35 minutes of watching a grown man act like a deranged manchild. I wanna know what drugs Tom Green was on when he made this film, cause you gotta be seriously messed up in the head to find any of this remotely funny. I'll admit, it made me laugh at times, in the "I can't believe I'm amused by this shit" way. But I spent most of this film cringing, facepalming, and wanting to vomit. This film is basically modern Family Guy: All shock humor, no substance.

Plot: The plot is simple: A 28 year old loser battles his abusive father while attempting to realize his dream of being a cartoonist. Simple right? Sadly, whatever plot this film has is buried under a myriad of obscene and offensive scenarios. Seriously, who the fuck thinks that swinging a baby around by its umbilical cord or wearing a dead deer's carcass or covering someone in elephant sperm is funny? It's gross as hell. Also, the plot has no structure. There's no flow to it. It just lazily transitions from one outrageous scene to another. Thus, nothing that happens makes a lot of sense.

Characters: Fun fact: When the secondary characters in a film are far more interesting than the main characters, chances are you fucked up.
  • Gord is basically Tom Green acting as Chris Chan. Everywhere he goes, he causes havoc to everyone around him. He's just a creep.
  • Gord's father is easily the worst human being I've ever seen in a film. He's a raging, abusive, obnoxious, misanthropic, misogynistic piece of shit. He's Adam Sandler taken Up to Eleven. And that scene with him showing Gord his ass and telling him to fuck him was just disgusting.
  • The only characters I liked were Betty and Gord's friend who got his leg broken. They were the only sane people in this film. Though Betty's fetishes creeped me out.

Overall, don't watch this film. It's not So Okay, It's Average, it's not So Bad, It's Good, it's not even worth the Bile Fascination. It's a bland, disgusting, immature, absolute joke of a film that never should've seen the light of day.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be drinking a lot of Brain Bleach to get this film out of my head.

Look at me daddy, am I funny yet?

I saw this movie completely unaware of any critical opinions of it, which is what I try to do when I see a movie, so I form an opinion of it that's as uninfluenced as possible. The movie sucked. It was nothing but pointless bad attempts at shock humor. Tom Green couldn't write a good joke if his life depended on it. Likewise, his "humor" is nothing but continuing attempts to cross the line. One line from the movie sums up my feelings of Tom Green as an individual, and as a so called comedian. "Look at me, daddy, I'm a farmer!" The line, however, should be changed to "look at me, daddy, am I funny yet?"

But alas, Green is neither a farmer nor is he funny. He apparently thinks that humor means writing in almost complete non sequitur, and acting like he's some bizarre combination of retarded, stoned, and insane.

Seriously, licking a guy's scraped knee? Gross and stupid, and certainly not funny. Giving a horse a handjob? Gross, stupid and certainly not funny. Giving an elephant a handjob later? Not only is it gross, stupid, and unfunny, but now it's not even original; it's just the same dumb attempt at humor again. Flinging a baby about by its umbilical cord? You may expect me to say it was offensive, but by that point, I was simply too irritated by how dumb the movie was to care. It was all just idiotic. The only time the gross out humor actually worked (aka was actually in the least but funny) was the scene with the deer carcass, which was sort of a "well that's stupid," kind of humor anyway.

There are times when a character's stupidity can be used to comedic effect. For an excellent example, see Dumb And Dumber. Here, it simply amounted to a grown man screaming like a three year old on deleriants for 90 minutes. You can't just run around like an idiot and expect it to be funny. There must be actual jokes, actual situations of irony, not just some guy running around essentially saying "IS THIS FUNNY!? IS THIS?! HOW ABOUT NOW? IS IT FUNNY WHEN I DO THIS?!"

To point out the only things I found slightly funny just so this isn't a long rant, here are the few scenes I found funny: the deer carcass scene, the scene with the shower and the wetsuit, and the "backwards man" song, although that still went on too long, and stopped being funny due to it.

Horrible movie, about 15 seconds that are slightly funny.