Reviews: The Mouse of Konoha

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  • Comments: A not quite For Want of a Nail fic where Naruto is taught early on that nothing is free. From there he realizes that by collecting weapons from training grounds, he can trade for shinobi lessons or sell his materials for scrap metal. He eventually goes on to receiving lessons from the various clans in exchange for breaking into their houses and pointing out their security flaws. Despite being over 300,000 words, Naruto has yet to enter the academy but the quality of writing and the story itself are well worth it.
    • The concept is pretty good, and there weren't any glaring spelling errors. However, the sentence structure. Dear god the sentence structure. Run on sentences everywhere, seems like where five words would do he makes twenty. Also kid Naruto's speech is spelled the same way someone his age would say it which is annoying. A few cliches here and there but I could ignore them. It was just... weird, for lack of a better term. I stopped on chapter two because I couldn't take it anymore. Still seems pretty good, but the structure put me off.