Reviews: My Wish Order Brother

I liked it

Although the story has some cheesy points (yes, Deidara does tend to get over-powered in this and/or given abilities without good excuses), everything else was really good. It shows each of the Konoha 12 in a whole new light, a really really interesting Sasuke, and quite frankly Sakura's mother is a badass. In fiction, if an evil woman gets pregnant she will almost always go down one of two paths: either killing/corrupting the baby and not caring for it (like Medusa from Soul Eater), or abandoning her life and evil ways to raise the baby (like the Bride in Kill Bill). It's interesting to see a woman who does neither, yes she takes Sakura somewhere she can grow up normally, but she doesn't stop being an evil, manipulative sociopath of a scientist.

Apart from that, there's also some great ideas in there. Itachi has bad social skills, Hana is oblivious, Sasuke and Tenten are creepy/cute in their own way, and dear lord Choji and Lee are different. The story has a number of side-plots just dedicated to watch these kids grow up, which is really cute. It may not be for everybody, although the author takes away Deidara's fighting abilities (it makes sense in context) he's so central to the plot it can be annoying. But everything else about the story is fun, and as the story goes on, it become funnier and funnier. If you're not looking for something perfect, give it a try.

Started okay, but went down

The first half was great. Deidara trying to keep his cover, the interactions between him, Itachi, Hana, and the kids, all great. Even the mysterious stuff with this version of Sakura's mom was good at first. then it went downhill, got over-complicated, too melodramatic, and too wordy. Frankly, I can't recommend it because of that.

Poorly done ripoff

I pretty much stopped reading after the author copied almost word for word Chibi-Reaper and didn't even give credit. (The part copied was the entirety of Deidara leaving his village.)

Great Premise Marred by Bad Decisions

I positively loved the beginning of this story. She clearly writes Deidara well, and I enjoyed the interaction between him and the others. I also enjoyed the huge web of misunderstandings that happened all throughout the story.

But several decisions made throughout the fic turned into two massive wall bangers for me. The first one, which almost made me stop reading, was the fact that Naruto went to hell to save Deidara's life. This was something I found to be silly and utterly pointless in the grand scheme of things. Two, and what DID make me stop reading, was how Sakura's mom is a massive plot device. I cannot stand that woman's character, and her going so far as to force Deidara into mastering the sword was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

If you can ignore these types of things, good for you; there's still things about this story that are good. But this fic does exemplify the concept of YMMV

from comments

  • Comments: I have to disagree with the recommendation. IT has potential, but the author is badly in need of a beta reader. The story is full of bad grammar and incorrect word usage, such as "your" for "you're" and "bout" instead of "butt."

From comments

  • Comment: If your looking for a story with drama, romance that doesn't take over the plot, character development and both black and regular comedy, look no further. Occasional misspelling, but still is a good read. Is set in an alternate reality: after betraying Iwa for revenge, Deidara accidentally gets into Konoha where Naruto mistakenly believes he is the brother he made a wish for. Chaos and hilarity ensues, especially since Deidara is teaching the future Konoha 12 how to become little renegades with funny results. Swearing forewarned, as well as a few darker themes that don't really take from the story.