Fun With Characters, Failing With Politics
The characterization is fairly good, but the author has a weak understanding of the arc of the main plot, the reasoning behind Amon's tactics, and overall how the Equalist movement worked. The secretive nature of the early movement is forgotten, and the chiblockers and Amon were apparently common knowledge in the city even before Korra stepped off the boat. The thread of psychological warfare Amon wages on the city is broken completely when the Bending Area is randomly bombed without warning at the very beginning of the Pro-Bending season, without the follow-up fanfare of their devastating total victory from the show. The Equalist movement comes across as a poorly organized confederation of domestic terrorists rather than the idealistic and terrifying well-oiled terrorism machine they were in the show. Several early parts were rehashing almost word-for-word scenes for the first few episodes, with the dialogue slightly altered or expanded but not notably better. The narrative is a sparse, in some areas giving way to being effectively dialogue-only. The overall impression is of a young writer with some awesome ideas that hasn't yet had enough experience to be able to effectively execute them.
A story with more promise than "The Promise."
This fic is pretty darn good. As of this review it's only about six thousand words in, but the author has a very polished writing style and one hell of a grasp on the characters. Korra and Asami are very much IC. Anyone who was put off by the Makorra narminess will probably enjoy this retelling.