Reviews: Bringer Of Death
When Good Fics Go Bad
I'll just start by getting this out of the way. Firstly, the writing and prose for this story are very good, probably surpassed only by fanfics like Honor Trip from what I've read. The basic premise of Vegeta becoming the first Super Saiyan is interesting enough, and the updates were surprisingly frequent up until November. Now that the good is out of the way, I can dive in and go into how what started off as a good fic went into a mad orgy of Vegeta-wanking. To begin with it started well enough, Vegeta transforming against Frieza on Namek and then winding up killing him and taking over that empire. There were some early problems, such as the new Super Saiyan model in the fic that coincidentally instantaneously makes a person stronger than Frieza(Yes I know the x50 thing isn't canon, but it makes more sense to me) and the Star Wars robot that exists just because (His shtick gets real old real fast) but the fic was still rather good. I believe the start of darkness properly began with Vegeta killing Garlic Junior. It was the start of an ugly trend wherein Vegeta would swoop in, steal the glory from someone else, and then curbstomp the villain. Also there was some pointless Yamcha bashing back then (I'm not even a big fan of Yamcha, but the fanbase gives him way too much shit nowadays). From there Vegeta went on to be a super-special-awesome-mega-badass curbing seemingly every antagonist, while everyone else was given table scraps at best. And more and more asspulls snuck their way into the story from then on. Vegeta pulling an EMP attack out of thin air to beat 17 and 18 at the same time. Cell developing some psuedo-Mass Effect bullshit, blowing up a star in his base form by ramming into it really hard, Vegeta turning into a Super Saiyan 2 just to upstage Gohan... Vegeta just devolved into a God-Mode Sue, while the author harped on his greatness. And the hard sci-fi, oh dear lord. As a general rule I don't like hard sci-fi, but I loathe it being wedged into something as anarchic and off the wall as Dragon Ball. It's like going to a circus and instead of seeing the clowns, the accountant comes out and reads the circus expense reports for the month instead. Starts off good, and then divebombs straight into bloody hell.
Best Vegeta centered fan fiction I've read
Basically the story is about Vegeta becoming a Super Saiyan during his fight against Frieza. Afterwards he takes over King Cold's empire and builds quite the reputation for himself. Vegeta's new found advantage inspires the others to train more (surpassing their Canon counter-parts), particularly Goku. Goku still manages to keep up with Vegeta's growth and their rivalry is still alive and a major source of Vegeta's focus on training. This is one of the biggest strengths of the fan fiction. These are still the same characters despite what happened differently. While the heroes get stronger than their canon counter-parts, so do the threats. This keeps things interesting as the story progresses. One weakness of this fan fiction is the clear bias against some characters (particularly Yamcha). Chapters also tend to linger a bit on figurative descriptions of the environment or a given character's thoughts. These moments tend to reek of unnecessary padding, especially jarring during cliffhangers. Personally, I would rather have multiple simplified chapter updates a week, than a single chapter where a third of the story is dedicated to a detailed description of Astronomy and theories of lightspeed movement. Despite my criticisms, I would recommend this fan fiction to anyone who enjoys DBZ. The original flavor is still there but prepared differently.