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Reviews Comments: A More Measured Review Than My Previous One Partially Kissed Hero fanfic review by Canute

I reviewed this fanfic once before, and I have taken the time to think more about it since then. I have read this fanfic three times, and there are parts I like about it, but there are also parts that are meh and parts that are bad.

I must first note that I do not take fanfics seriously. There are too few that score high enough in terms of command of language, narrative skill and good story for me to have the same expectation to a fanfic as I have to a novel. There are some that are that good, and some novels that are that bad, but on average fanfic falls into popcorn reading like this one do. Non-challenging, easy, leaves you unfulfilled but entertained while you read. I have read worse.

The things I liked in the fanfic was the intelligent plotting in the beginning and the use of small details from the books and earlier in the fic. The ability to keep details straight and use them intelligently is one I prize above all others in a writer. (For a good example read Brandon Sanderson.) The plotting does go to strange places and give no indication of achieving coherence.

The characterization is bland and often bad. The characters seem to grow into people who adore New Harry and nothing else. Harry supposedy changes, but aside from becoming ruthless and aware of romantic feelings, does not really grow either. People are only good when they mindlessly follow Harry.

Hermione is hit with the stupid stick. Not only has she missed all the hidden truth of the world, but also much of the ostensibly common knowledge.

Bellatrix is awesome.

Dumbledore is a planning Dark Lord, and this works in the first half. Harry's victories comes because Dumbledore was dosed with bad luck because of overconfidence. And Dumbledore still wins or draws most of their confrontations in the start.

Evil characters are abused and tormented by the heroes, though mostly for strategic reasons. The author mostly avoids using the universe to punish characters, except Draco. Ron and Ginny are not abused much, if at all.

I found the fic interesting at first because the plot had promise. It shows little to no indication of delivering on that, but it can still happen. The use of previously mentioned details is intelligent, but much is invented as well. Language is decent, but characters and plot is bland and stale.

New opinion: A decent timewaster that may be saved yet.


  • kay4today
  • 3rd May 13
It's a shame that the potential was wasted. Unsympathetic Harry, ridiculous bashing, the disturbing sexism and apparently the author thinking Malfoy deserves... you know what.

The author isn't a bad writer, so it's a shame his stories get ruined because of how much of a disgusting person he seems to be.
  • Pannic
  • 22nd Nov 13
Having read the first five chapters, I'm really not seeing anything salvageable in here. It just looks like a bog-standard "Harry becomes a genius super-wizard and a sociopathic asshole, complete with Ron-bashing, Dumbledore-bashing, and Hermione being a dumbed-down love interest." Complete with shitty writing wherein the narrator rambles on and on about boring shit and things that should be actual character development happen off-page and we're just told it happens.

So yeah. Not really seeing anything of value in here.

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