I had my first encounter with Twilight when I was twelve. I loved them. I dreamed that I was Bella and she became a role model to me. I read them again to see if they were as bad as people said. They were worse. Now, when I look back, I feel ashamed of myself. I read the books in Spanish the first time, and you can clearly see that the translators did their best to tone down the Purple Prose, the bad writing, and even Bella's bitchiness. However, the book reads like an immature housewife's wankery - probably because it is. We're supposed to believe that two strangers meet at school, are nothing but rude towards each other, have a total of two conversations - both of which aren't even in friendly terms - and, somehow, they've fallen in lurve. Jeez. I guess I could deal with that if the protagonists weren't so unlikable. Seriously, Bella is a classical Alpha Bitch, or Bitch In Sheeps Clothing, if you will. She whines all the time that she has no friends, yet she doesn't do anything to make friends. Everytime someone at school is nice to her, she dismisses them. Jessica, the girl who talks to her and introduces her to everyone, talks too much and her hair is big: she's a backstabbing bitch (despite that we don't ever see any proof of that). Mike, a guy who makes sure that she finds all of her classes and happens to have a small crush on her, is a puppy dog. Eric, who acts just like Mike but is ugly, is the overly-helpful chess club guy. Lauren, who is the only one who sees the bitch in disguise, is EVUL and has an annoying voice. Actually, S.Meyer later Retcons the reason for Lauren's attitude as Lauren being jealous of Bella, when it's pretty clear that it's because Bella is a bitch and she's obsessed with the Cullens. She's incredibly shallow, too: she considers Mike and Eric to be practically stalkers, but Edward, who is actually a real stalker, is perfect in her eyes - because he's PRETTY, which we're reminded every five sentences. We get it, woman, Edward is hot. Will you bang your fictional character already and move on to the plot? Oh, that's right: there isn't any. Edward is even worse, but at least we don't have to read tings from his perspective.
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