Reviews Comments: Pretty heartwarming, but stumbles over itself occasionally.
Pretty heartwarming, but stumbles over itself occasionally.
I'd like to start by saying that I liked this fanfic. Scootaloo is best crusader, Celestia is best princess, so combining them together into the best family drew me in and kept me there. This story takes Celestia's motherly aura in the show to its conclusion with making her an actual mother, and what a wonderful mother she is! A harmonious balance is struck between Celestia's care for her child and the problems of a dual life of an Equestrian princess, and WAFFs and laughs abound. I like the way some other characters are handled. Cadance quickly stole my heart as "the Love Ninja," and some of the guards are pretty entertaining. Even when Celestia disguises herself to meet the mane 6, they seem in character enough. Unfortunately, Luna is one of the most inconsistent characters in the story, joining in pranks with Scootaloo in one chapter, brooding over past mistakes, then flipping her lid the next scene before returning to socks-wearing Woona the next chapter. I sadly find myself glossing over her scenes to get back to the Scoots and Celestia. However, the story walks a fine line between Better Than Canon and Fan Wank. I can accept the premise that Scootaloo is Celestia' secret daughter, but a few of the plot developments and backstories just make me want to say, "Really?" The whole "Mare in the Moon" tale was changed so that Luna was just a freak out after watching her boyfirend die, and that's just the first alteration. However, one certain development almost made me quit the story then and there. This story makes Trixie Luna's daughter (because Trixie is also blue and has a moon on her butt!), because her old boyfriend magically impregnated her and she was born 20 years ago on the moon and imbibed with her mother's essence and then transported- wow, even trying to understand it makes my head hurt. Just skip some of these sections to get back to Scoots, and you'll enjoy it more. Though, you may want to start skipping a lot more sections in the future. I was drawn in by the adorable slice-of-life style with Scootaloo secretly living with the coolest mom ever, but the story seems to be venturing into a generic epic about Lovecraftian horrors returning instead. I suspect the style and fluffiness will stay, but I fear it may go the way of Anthropology and alienate all those who fell in with it love at the start.
As a note, the author gave hints and notes from Chapter 2 that there were bigger things going on, as well as making it clear that not everything was as it seemed. And Starswirl was Luna's BROTHER, not lover. Her brother, who was apparently her only remaining morality pet and her last straw of sanity. When he... well, the author hasn't made it clear other than 'Starswirl Died', she started coming apart mentally until she finally snapped. And Trixie appears to have been the same kind of accidental pregnancy due to a drunken night on the town as Scootaloo was, and no hint at all has been given of her being some sort of virgin birth or other such junk. Perhaps consideration should be given to the fact that the fic focuses on Scootaloo and Celestia, and thus Luna by association? With recent hints, the author has suggested that Luna is Scootaloo's tarnished mirror and possibly has been hinting that she's a lot closer related than 'aunt'.
comment #18120 scootyloo 8th Feb 13
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