Disregard the title of this, I'm just going to have to examine the 'verse. Which I despise...but hey. The original fic makes a few glaring mistakes. Characters are OOC. There're two flat OCs that we barely care about, if at all, and some mediocre, that is, neither good nor bad, writing. Blaze will admit that it's kinda shitty, and I agree. It's not too bad, but it's definitely nowhere near good. Then comes Chatoyance. Dear. Lord. Chatoyance. It's like every single thing that annoys me about fanfiction rolled into one author. But I can't just say that, I have to explain why it's so obnoxious to me. For starters, Chatty's got an ego the size of a tanker and enough self-righteousness to outclass your standard Spess Mehreen. She seems to think that her own vision is more in-tune than Faust's own damn show. And that's no good. Seriously, there are a thousand and one reasons why that's an absolutely terrible mindset to write with, not to mention the fact that she believes herself to be so far above criticism that just mentioning the fact that you don't like her stories will get you fucking crucified. The writing itself is passable. I mean, they do meander, and the prose gets really flowery, but it's okay. But the universe is poorly made. There are so many unaccounted-for flaws in this place that it makes no logical sense. Things are painted black and white, as though a situation like this would be so easy to solve. Because humanity would totally be willing to succumb to genocide unless willing to change your bodies into that of my litle ponly, amirite?! Then we have the characters. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, gets in on the Fantastic Racism. Celestia's a ridiculous God Mode Sue. The villains are more sympathetic than the fucking protagonists. There is something fundamentally wrong with this! Reading it leaves a taste in my mouth that's worse than Mountain Dew. If this sounds like an incredibly negative and harsh review, then you're right. It is incredibly harsh, and negative. And kind of harsh. I wouldn't even be this damned scathing if it weren't for the author's attitude...but oh well.
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