Crystal Skull is Awful.
It was just a shit film.
Even if it hadn't been an Indiana Jones film, with such a brilliant and well-earned reputation to live up to, it was just plain bad. The writing was very poor, the action was dull, there was no violence, the characters were derailed worse than Tara Gillespie would have written them, the atmosphere of the original films that made them so great in the first place was gone, and to top it all off it was turned into a big, dumb piece of Hollywood CGI fluff, when it could have been a much more noble and daring film, unlike the fucking bad fanfic it came across as.
This film would have been a mediocre Mummy
sequel. MAYBE. Regardless it still would have sucked.
I have listed all my problems previously, but my biggest complaint is surely the way this film doesnt even feel like Indiana Jones. Where is the gratuitous violence? Where is the Body Horror
inflicted upon the villian at the end? What, she turns sparkly and... floats away?! WHAT?! How does that even begin to compare with an asain guys face melting off
?! Indy is barely ever called Indy in this film, which is fitting because he is a totally different character. Is his personality supposed to have aged? Because if growing old makes you lose your wit and half your IQ kill me now. The overuse of CGI is so disgusting I nearly cried. The new characters are... not worth mentioning and the old ones are uneccessary. There are some superficially Jones-esque scenes, but they are pumped up with needless fake-looking CGI and bad obnoxious acting by the stuck up Le-Bouf kid that Speilberg adores so much. By the way, he's Indy's son. Big suprise, huh? Totally matching the elegant, pitch perfect writing of the original series, right?
Also, I have no problem with Aliens. Aliens would fit perfectly in an Indy movie... but the way they are done in this piece of shit. My god. Speilberg and Lucas think we're so dumb that the reveal (OMG, ders, lyk, aliens? wtf!?) will be a shock, even though we spend the whole movie wondering how Jones is such a dumbass he cant figure it out. The aliens look lame and the entire story behind them is lame. The skull isnt even Crystal.
Dont see it. Watch the three great original films. They are really good. I love them to bits.