Reviews Comments: Bloated, Emotionless, and Poorly Written — A Triumph of Awful Prose
Bloated, Emotionless, and Poorly Written — A Triumph of Awful Prose
Never before has one man used so many words to say so little. Endless Conflict lives up to the first half of its name, but the only conflict here is finding a way to adequately express how bad the series is. The writing is a failure on both a structural and emotional level. Thereís little understanding of the mechanics of writing; formatting for even basic things like dialogue is wrong. The syntax is off too, like in the series tagline, Every war ends in time, even supposedly this one. I tried to find a clunkier way to write that, but I couldnít. Thatís an almost impressive lack of skill. Still, grammar can be fixedóa lack of connection with the audience cannot. The story has the emotional depth of a paddling pool. Take the scene where Parus dies. What should be a heartbreaking moment is lifeless and laughable, mainly because of blocky, soulless prose. This work borrows heavily from other sources, mainly sci-fi and anime, and I canít help but cringe at some of the more obvious references. Minovski Particles? And cherry blossoms? Look, I like anime too, but could you find a trope thatís less clichťd and obviously Japanese? Or make up your own? Itís science-fiction! Reading this was a chore. The narrative lurches to extremes, from character-free ping-pong dialogue to paragraphs-long scenery and exposition dumps. Itís half-jargon, too, and thereís no point where it stops to explain what the jargon means. You arenít writing A Clockwork Orange—tell us what the fuck your characters are saying. Itís not cute, itís not immersive, itís not a ďgenius bonus,Ē itís just annoying. Paired with the awful prose, it makes the story unbearable. Overall, the only audience for this story is its author. I canít imagine anyone else who would be able to read, let alone enjoy, this convoluted schlock. Also, don't trust this thing's trope page— it's incredibly biased. Whoever wrote it must have had a major hard-on for the series. Note: Everything criticised here has either been written or is planned to be written into the series by the time it is finished.
Where is the work published? It sounds like you found at least part of it.
comment #14273 Mazz 11th May 12
Part of it is on this very wiki. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=12942000740A37157100&page=1 Would it surprise you that the writer also made the trope page?
comment #14275 arcsquad12 11th May 12
No, I can't say that it surprises me at all. Thank you for the link. I was starting to wonder if the work even existed at all.
comment #14276 Mazz 11th May 12
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